Joke of the Day: 365 Family-Friendly Jokes

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July Jokes

American Revolution Jokes: What dance was very popular in 1776?…Indepen-dance! (Top 10 4th of July Jokes)
American Revolution Jokes: What was the Patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War? … Chicken Catch-a-Tory!
Tea Jokes: America: Hey England, Happy Fourh of July! England: Where’s the T? America: Threw it in the Boston Harbor!
July 4th: 4th Of July Jokes: How come there’s no Knock Knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings.
July 5th: National Bikini Day Jokes: How do men exercise on the beach?… By sucking in their stomach every time they see a bikini!
Summer Jokes: Where do sharks go on summer vacation?… Finland!
Camping Jokes: Did you hear about the camping trip?… It was in – tents (intense)!
What did one flag say to the other flag?…..Nothing. It just waved! (Top 10 4th of July Jokes)
Constitution Jokes: How is a healthy person like the United States?… They both have good constitutions!
July 10th, 2025: Full Buck Moon: What Jersey should you wear to the Buck Moon?… Giannis Antetokounmpo “The Greek Freak!”
“Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?”… “On the bottom!”
What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?…The Battle of Bonkers Hill.
What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?…Tea-shirts.
July 14th Bastille Day:
What month can you never trust?… July (get it Ju LIE!)
July 17th National Hot Dog Day: What is the best way to enjoy a hot dog?… Relish it.
What did the beach say as the tide came in?… Long time no sea.
Baseball Jokes: Did you hear the joke about the baseball?… It will leave you in stitches!
The seaside resort we visited last summer was so boring that one day the tide went out and never came back.
Where does a ship go when it’s sick?… To the DOCK!
July 20th Shark Week Discovery Channel: I would like to see a Great White Shark before I die… Just not right before I die.
Shark Jokes: If you thought swimming with dolphins was expensive, you should try swimming with sharks …. It cost me an arm and a leg!
Shark Jokes: Why are some sharks hard to trust?… They tell Great White lies.
Shark Jokes: Summer PSA: A friendly reminder: Sharks live in the ocean… Year-round.
Shark Jokes: How can you tell if two sharks are friends?… They act chummy with one another.
Jaws Jokes: #1 Amity Island AirBNB: Summer rental, 3 rooms, outdoor shower, ocean view WITH A POOL!
Shark Jokes: What does a shark eat for dinner?… Fish and ships!
Pirate Jokes: What’s that new summer pirate movie rated?…It’s rated ARRRRRR!
Watermelon Jokes: When do you go at red and stop at green?… When you’re eating a watermelon.
Best Summer Vacation Book Never Written: “Where to Stay on Vacation” by Moe Tell.

August Jokes / Top August Pages / Top August Hashtags
Top Back to School Jokes

Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who? A gust of wind knocked me over!

September

Top Labor Day Jokes & Labor Day Jokes
Top Grandparents Day Jokes

What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber! (Top Arbor Day Jokes)
I thought about being a historian, but I couldn’t see a future in it. (Top Social Studies Jokes)
What is a snake’s favorite class?… Hissss-tory! (Great Lessons for Psychology and U.S. History)
Did you hear the joke about Labor Day?… It doesn’t work for me! (Top Labor Day Jokes)
I worked at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. (Top Labor Day Jokes)
If a train station is where the train stops, and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station? (Top Labor Day Jokes)
If today is labor day, how many babies were born? (Top Labor Day Jokes)
I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my principal, my faculties, and my class.(Top Teacher Jokes)
Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma. Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma… Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma. Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Aunt. Aunt who?… Aunt you glad Grandma’s gone? (Top Grandparents Day Jokes)
Why did the New England Patriots go to federal court (and not the bank)?… to get the quarter back. (Top Football Jokes)
Why did the football player go to the bank?… to get his quarter back. (Top Football Jokes)
What do you call a grandpa whale?… A hunch back whale! (Top Grandparents Day Jokes)
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, “I’m not sure.” “Look in your underwear, Grandpa,” he advised “Mine says I’m 4 to 6.” (Top Grandparents Day Jokes)
What flies around the kindergarten room at night?… The alpha-BAT. (26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- Z & Top Elementary School Jokes)
What’s the best place to grow flowers in school?… In the kindergarden. (26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- Z & Top Elementary School Jokes)
What is a witch’s favorite class?… Spelling (Is Spelling Important? phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid)
How is a healthy person like the United States?… They both have good constitutions! (Top Constitution Day Jokes & Top Constitution Day Websites)
Where did the one legged pirate go for breakfast?… IHOP (101 Pirate Day Jokes)
What is a pirate’s favorite letter?…. Most people think it’s the ‘R’rrrr, but really it’s the ‘C’ they love. (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week & Top 10 Talk Like a Pirate Day Jokes)
How is losing money in a payphone like a football game?… If you don’t get the quarter back, you hit the receiver! (Top Football Jokes)
Did you hear that some NFL football teams don’t have a website?… They can’t string three “Ws” together. (Top Football Jokes)
What does a bad football team and possums have in common?… Both play dead at home and get killed on the road! (Top Football Jokes)
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?… To make up for his miserable summer. (Top Summer Jokes & Top Fall Jokes)
What did the tree say to autumn?… Leave me alone. (Top 10 Fall Jokes)
What did one leaf say to another?… I’m falling for you. (Top Valentines Day Jokes)
How do you fix a broken pumpkin?… With a pumpkin patch. (Top Halloween Jokes)
What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber!
What did one leaf say to another?… I’m falling for you. (Top Valentines Day Jokes)
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?… Squash. (Top Fall Jokes)
Why did summer catch autumn?… Because autumn had a fall.
What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi (101 Pi Day Jokes)

October

What do you give to a pumpkin who is trying to quit smoking?… A pumpkin patch! (Top Fall Jokes)
Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you smile alone. (Top World Smile Day Jokes)
Why didn’t Dracula have any friends?…He was a pain in the neck!
Where did Columbus first land in America?… On his feet! (Top Columbus Day Jokes)
Columbus’ Father: I don’t care what you’ve discovered, Christopher. You could have written. (Top Columbus Day Jokes)
The teacher stood at the front of the room. “Does anybody know what this Monday is?” About half of the students raised their hands. The teacher pointed to one of them. “It’s Columbus Day!” he crowed. The teacher smiled. “It is. Does anybody know why we celebrate it?” This time, only one student raised her hand. “It’s the day the Indians discovered Columbus!” (Top Columbus Day Jokes)
How was Columbus’s ship like an avid shopper?… They’re both driven by sales! (Top Columbus Day Jokes)
The teacher was telling the story of Christopher Columbus and how many thought that the world was flat. Then she had mentioned that the world was really round and… got interrupted… “Miss Smith, the world is square, not round,” said Johnny. “No, it’s round Johnny. Who told you it was square?” replied the teacher. “My older brother. He claims he’s been to all 4 corners of the earth.” (Top Geography Jokes)
What happened when Columbus was shot at by an Indian?… He had an arrow miss. (Top Columbus Day Jokes)
What’s the difference between one of Columbus’s sailors and a monster?… One left his Spain behind and the other left his brain behind! (Top Halloween Jokes)
What did one mole say to the other?… We make great chemistry together. Chemistry teachers are great tutors! (Top Mole Day Jokes)
What would you get if you crossed Columbus Day with Halloween?… Ghoulumbus Day! (Top Halloween Jokes)
How much does Avogadro exaggerate?… He makes mountains out of mole hills. Chemistry teachers are great tutors! (Top Mole Day Jokes)
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?… It’s mole-itically incorrect. Chemistry teachers are great tutors! (Top Mole Day Jokes)
What did Avogadro get when he mixed ice cream, chocolate syrup, and milk together?… A chocolate Moledt
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?… Watermolens. Chemistry teachers are great tutors! (Top Mole Day Jokes)
How many guacs are in a bowl of guacamole?… Avocados number! Chemistry teachers are great tutors! (Top Mole Day Jokes)
If a mole of moles were digging a mole of holes, what would you see?… A mole of molasses! Chemistry teachers are great tutors! (Top Mole Day Jokes)
What element do moles love to study in chemistry?… Molybdenum. Chemistry teachers are great tutors! (Top Mole Day Jokes)
Avogadro loved to watch MASH. Which character did he like most?… Father Molecahy Chemistry teachers are great tutors! (Top Mole Day Jokes)
How do you say goodbye to a vampire?… So long sucker!
Where does a vampire keep his money?…In a blood bank.
Why did Avogadro stop going to a chiropractor on October 24th?… He was only tense to the 23rd!
What kind of dog does a vampire have?…A bloodhound.
What did one ghost say to the other ghost?… “Long time no see.”
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?…Frostbite.
What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?…Dead ringers.
What does a ghost keep in its stable?…Nightmares.
What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?…A pumpkin patch
What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?…Lazy bones!
What did one casket say to the other casket?…”Is that you coffin?” (coughing)

Bonus Halloween Jokes!

What kind of streets do zombies live on?… Dead-ends.
What do you call a mummy eating in bed?…A crummy mummy.
When do vampires like horse racing?…When it’s neck and neck!
Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even.
Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?…Because you can see right through him.
What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?… Rap music.
What school subject is a witch good at?…Spelling.
What did the ghost teacher say to her class?…”Watch the board and I’ll go through it again.”
How do you make a skeleton laugh?…Tickle its funnybone!

What pants do ghosts wear?…BOO jeans.
What kind of boat do werewolves like?…blood vessels
Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to the dance?…Because he had no body to go with.
What key opens a Haunted House?… A spooKEY!
Why don’t mummies take vacations?…They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
What monster wears the most clothes?…A werewolf!
Why did the Cyclops close his school?…Because he only had one pupil.
How was Frankenstien’s birth?…Shocking.
What do you read on Halloween?…BOO-ks
How do you make a skeleton laugh?…Tickle its funnybone!
Knock knock…Who’s there?…Orange…Orange who?…Orange you glad it’s Halloween?
November Jokes & November Hashtags

National Sandwich Day Jokes & Sandwich Jokes
Daylight Savings Jokes
Election Day Jokes
Top Veterans Day Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes
Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes & Thanksgiving Day Jokes
Top 10 Geography Week Jokes
November 26th: National Cake Day: Cake Jokes

What month should you never ask to the Prom?… “NO” vember (Clean Prom Jokes)
What do you find in an empty nose?…fingerprints
Where do you get sandwiches in India?… At the New Delhi. (World Geography Jokes & National Sandwich Day Jokes)
“I don’t mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I’ve saved all year.” Victor Borge (Daylight Savings Jokes)
Why did the baker stop making donuts?… He was fed up with the hole business! (Labor Day Jokes / Donut Jokes & National Doughnut Day Jokes)
What is the most popular college during election season?… The Electoral College. (Electoral College from Highest to Lowest & Election Day Jokes)
What was General Washington’s favorite tree?…The infan-tree! (Top 40 4th of July Jokes / Veterans Day Jokes / Top Arbor Day Jokes)
What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?…Plymouth Rock! (Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes)
What sound does a turkey’s phone make?…Wing! Wing! (Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes)
What did the turkey say to the computer?…“Google, google, google.” (Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes)
Where did the General put his armies?… In his sleevies. (get it his sleeves)? (Top Veterans Day Jokes)
Sister: Mom wants you to help us fix Thanksgiving dinner. Brother: Why? Is it broken? (Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes)
What do Black Friday shoppers and the Thanksgiving turkey have in common?… They know what it’s like to be jammed into a small place and stuffed! (Thanksgiving Jokes & School Jokes: Black Friday Jokes)
How do pickles enjoy a day out?… They relish it. (National Pickle Day Jokes)
What sound does a limping turkey make?…“Wobble, wobble!” (Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes)
Did you hear McDonald killed Burger King in front of Five Guys over that the girl Wendy?… The funeral is at White Castle. I’m taking Dairy Queen. (National Fast Food Day Jokes)
Why can’t you take a turkey to church?…Because they use such FOWL language. (Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes)
Why did they let the turkey join the band?…Because he had the drumsticks. (Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes)
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?… Their AGE! (Grandparents Day Jokes)
Why does Freddy Krueger wear a hat?… He ran out of scare spray. (Top Friday the 13th Jokes)
What’s Jason Voorhees favorite desert?… I-Scream! (Top Friday the 13th Jokes)
What do you call a map guide to Alcatraz?… A con-tour map. (Top Geography Jokes)
What do John Wayne and a map key have in common?… Both are legends. (Top Geography Jokes)
Why do paper maps never win at poker?… Because they always fold. (Top Geography Jokes)
What are unhappy cranberries called?…Blueberries!
What do Betty Crocker cakes & a baseball team have in common?… They both count on the batter! (Baseball Jokes)
Why was longitude boiling mad?…Because it was 360 degrees. (Geography Awareness Week & Top Geography Jokes)
Why are maps like fish?….Both have scales. (Geography Awareness Week& Top Geography Jokes)
What is smarter, longitude or latitude?…Longitude, because it has 360 degrees (Geography Awareness Week & Top Geography Jokes)
What do geographers grow in their gardens?…Compass roses. (Geography Awareness Week & Top Geography Jokes )
Why didn’t the map projection finish his speech?…He was interrupted. (Geography Awareness Week & Top Geography Jokes)
What country does a pirate love to sail his ship to?…AARRRGHentina! (Geography Awareness Week & Top Geography Jokes)
How can you tell that compasses and scales are intelligent?…Because they’re all graduated. (Geography Awareness Week, Top Geography Jokes & Top Pirate Jokes)
If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?… Pilgrims (The Mayflower Ship)
Why are bananas good at gymnastics… They do great banana splits!
What’s the best part about Black Friday?… Resting on Saturday. (Top Black Friday Jokes)
Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving “Black Friday”?… It matches the mood of all those unhappy shoppers. (Top Black Friday Jokes)
Where would a reindeer go to find her lost tail?…”Re-tail” store. (Top Christmas Jokes)
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?… Frostbite. (Top Christmas Jokes & Top Winter Jokes)

Bonus jokes

What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?…The letter “g”!
Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?…He was feeling crummy.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?… The turkey because he’s already stuffed!
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son?…If your grandpa could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!

December Jokes / School Jokes: December Jokes for Kids

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?… So he can ho-ho-ho! (Top Christmas Jokes& Top Winter Jokes)
What is the best Christmas present in the world?….A broken drum, you can’t beat it! (Top Christmas Jokes & Top Winter Jokes)
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?… Nothing, it was on the house! (Top Christmas Jokes & Top Winter Jokes)
National Cookie Day: When should you take a cookie to the doctor?… When it feels crummy. (Doctor Jokes for Kids)
What is the difference between the alphabet and the Christmas alphabet?…The Christmas alphabet has no L (noel)! (Top Christmas Jokes & Top Winter Jokes)
What nationality is Santa?… North Polish! (Top Christmas Jokes & Top Winter Jokes)
Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?… Rude-olph! (Top Christmas Jokes & Top Winter Jokes)
National Brownie Day Jokes: How is a softball team like a brownie?… They both depend on a good batter! (Top Softball Jokes)
Knock Knock…Who’s there?…Mary… Mary who?… Mary Christmas! (Top Christmas Jokes & Top Winter Jokes)
Where do Santa Claus and the elves keep their money?… In a snow bank. (Top Christmas Jokes & Top Winter Jokes)
What did the ghost say to Santa?… We’ll have a boo Christmas without you! (101 Halloween Jokes)
What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?… “Looks like rain, dear.”
Knock knock…Who’s there?… Irish... Irish who? … Irish you a Merry Christmas!
Knock, knock…Who’s there?…Olive…Olive, who?…Olive the other reindeer.
What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?… Claustrophobic.
Why is Santa so good at karate?… Because he has a black belt!
Which reindeer has the cleanest antlers?… Comet!
What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve?…Halo there!
If an athlete gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?…Missile Toe
What kind of money do Santa and the elves use in the North Pole?…Cold cash!
What do reindeer say before telling a joke?… This one will sleigh you!
How do you make a slow reindeer fast?… Don’t feed it!
Why do mummies like Christmas so much?… Because of all the wrapping!
What kind of bug hates Christmas?… A humbug.
What does a vampire sing on New Year’s Eve?… Auld FANG syne (Top New Years Eve Jokes)

Bonus Jokes

Why was Santa’s little helper sad?… He had low elf esteem! (Top Psychology Jokes)
What kind of music does elves like best?…”Wrap” music!
What do elves learn in schools?… the “elf”-abet!

January Jokes / January School Jokes / January Jokes for Kids

What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Day?…. Hoppy New Year! (Top New Years Day Jokes)
Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have 364 more jokes! A joke for every day of the year!
Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?… He was feeling crummy. (Top 10 Winter Jokes)
January 4th: National Spaghetti Day: What do you call a fake noodle?… An impasta. (Spaghetti Jokes)
How do snowmen travel around?… By icicle! (Top 10 Winter Jokes)
Where the snowman does dances on?… A snow ball! (Top 10 Winter Jokes)
What did one candle say to the other?… “Don’t birthdays burn you up?” (Birthday Jokes for Kids)
What does Jack Frost like best about school?… Snow and tell. (Top 10 Winter Jokes)
What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?… Chill out.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?… Frostbite (Top 10 Winter Jokes)
January 11th National Milk Day Jokes What did mama cow say to baby cow?… It’s pasture bedtime. (Milk Jokes for Kids & Mother’s Day Jokes)
How does one snowman greet another snowman?…. Ice to meet you. (Top 10 Winter Jokes)
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?… Brrrr- itos. (Top 10 Winter Jokes)
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?… Cold cash!
January 15th: National Hat Day Jokes: What did the hat say to the tie?… “You hang around here…I’ll go on a head.” (Biology Jokes for Teachers)
Where does a snowman keep his money?… In a snow bank.
What is the snowman’s breakfast?… Frosted flakes! (Top 10 Winter Jokes)
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?… Snowflakes! (Top 10 Winter Jokes)
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?… Do you smell carrots?
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?… She gave him the cold shoulder!
Where do seals go to see movies?… The dive-in!
What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf?… “You hang around while I go on a head.”
January 23rd National Pie Day: What’s the best thing to put into a pie?… Your teeth! (Dentist Jokes)
January 24th National Peanut Butter Day: Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter?… I’m nut telling you. You might spread it!
Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean?… They’re both below C level! (Top Geography Jokes)
What do you find in an empty nose?…fingerprints
If you live in an igloo, what’s the worst thing about global warming?… No privacy!
Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… Snow… Snow who?… Snowbody!
Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?… Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
What do you call a slow skier?… A slopepoke!
What do you call a sleeping cow?… a bulldozer!
How do Eskimos make their beds?… With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
What’s a good winter tip?… Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?… A snowball!
What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?….Patty
What did the square say to the old circle?… Been around long?
Why is music like a fish?…. they both have scales! (Top Fishing Jokes)

January Jokes

February Jokes / February Jokes for Kids

What happened when the groundhog met the dogcatcher?… He became a pound hog!(Top 10 Ground Hog Day Jokes)
February 2nd Top 10 Ground Hog Day Jokes: What do you call Punxsutawney Phil’s laundry?… Hogwash.
February 3rd:Super Bowl Jokes: What’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap.
What month is the best for coffee? …. Feb – BREW – ary (Coffee Jokes)
What is a ghost’s favorite month?… Feb – BOO – uary. (Halloween Jokes)
What does a bad football team and possums have in common?… Both play dead at home and get killed on the road! (Top 10 Super Bowl Jokes)
How do you make an egg roll?….You push it.
What kind of stories are told by basketball players?…. Tall Tales. (Top Basketball Jokes)
What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine’s Day?… I’m nuts about you! (Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
What did the paper clip say to the magnet?… I find you very attractive. (Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine’s Day?… Ughs and kisses! (Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
What do you call two birds in love?…. Tweethearts!
What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?… I’m stuck on you! (Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
What do you call a very small Valentine’s?… A Valentiny! (Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
What did the bear say to his Valentine?… I love you beary much! (Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?…. Ape Lincoln! (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed! (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?…. Because he couldn’t lie. (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?… Presidentures! (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?… George Washingtoon! (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
How did George Washington speak to his army?…. In general terms! (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
How do billboards talk?….Sign language!
Why did the tomato turn red?….It saw the salad dressing!
What did the grape do when it got stepped on?….It let out a little wine!
I wasn’t going to celebrate Leap Day, but I decided to jump on the band wagon.(Top 10 Leap Day Jokes)
What kind of music do you listen to on Leap Day?… Hip Hop. (Top 10 Leap Day Jokes)
Where do most people eat on Leap Day?… IHOP. (Top 10 Leap Day Jokes)
What is a frog’s favorite month?… February. It has a Leap Year.

March

What did the March say to all the madness?… What’s all that bracket. (March Madness Jokes)
March 2nd: 101 Dr. Seuss Jokes: Why doesn’t the Grinch like knock knock jokes?… Because there’s always Whos there!
Can February, March? … No, but April, May! (Spring Jokes)
March 4th: National Pancake Day Jokes: Did you hear about the angry pancake?… He just flipped.
March 4th Exelauno Day: What did the commander say to his troops?… March 4th!
March 4th Mardi Gras Jokes:
March 7th: National Cereal Day Jokes: Did you hear about Tony The Tiger’s murder?… Police suspect a cereal killer.
When is the best month to hold a protest?… March.
March 9th: National Meatball Day: Where did the spaghetti go to dance?… The meat ball!
March 10th: National Napping Day: Did you hear about the kidnapping?…. He’s still sleeping!
Daylight Savings Jokes: What is a drill sergeant’s favorite month?… March.
What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?… Pi!
3.14% of Sailors are PI rates! (Pirate Jokes)
March 14th: 101 Pi Day Jokes: Never talk to pi. He’ll go on forever.
March 15th Ides of March Jokes: How are you celebrating the Ides of March?… Pizza from Little Caesars!
“I married an Irishman on St. Patrick’s Day.” ….”Oh, really?” …. “No, O’Reilly!”
How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? …. He’s Dublin over with laughter!
March 17th: St. Patrick’s Day Jokes: Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun? …. Because they’re always a little short.
What can be seen in the middle of the months ‘April’ and ‘March’, that cannot be seen in the beginning or end of either month?… the letter “r.”
March 20th: 1st Day of Spring: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?… Pilgrims! (Top Social Studies Jokes)
March 20th: World Frog Day: What is a frog’s favorite year?… A Leap Year.
Spring Fever: Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire. Much to their relief she smiled and said, “Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper.” Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said: “First Question: Which tire was flat?”
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe it is the 1st day of Spring?
How excited was the gardener about spring?… So excited he wet his plants.
What do you get when you plant kisses?… Tulips! (Biology Jokes)
Why is the letter A like a spring flower?… A bee (B) comes after it!
March 27th Opening Day Baseball Jokes: Did you hear the joke about the baseball?… It will leave you in stitches!
What is the #1 spring social event for college basketball players?… The Big Dance! (March Madness Jokes)
March 30th: National Doctors Day: Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?… He was feeling crummy. (Christmas Jokes & Christmas Trivia)
March 30th: National Pencil Day: Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?… Because it has no point!
March 31st National Crayon Day: What do you call a lost crayon?… Strayola.
March 31st National Prom Day: Students going to prom: Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Dewey….Dewey who?… Dewey have to take a breathalizer at the prom?

April Jokes

April 1st: April Fool’s Day Jokes: Do you know all about April 1st?… Yes, I’m fooly aware of it!
April 2nd National Walking Day: Two men are walking through a graveyard with their dogs. One man turns to the other and says ‘Morning’ The other man replies ‘No, just walking the dog.”
Opening Day Baseball Jokes: Why did the police officer go to the Opening Day baseball game?… Someone stole second base!
Final Four Jokes: Duke Basketball Jokes: Cooper Flagg is the Maine attraction of 2025 March Madness.
April 5th: National Burrito Day Jokes: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?… Nacho cheese!
Final Four Jokes: All the #1 seeds advance to the Final Four in 2025…. that is ONEderful. (#1 Duke, #1 Florida, #1 Houston, #1 Auburn)
What is the secret to winning a National Basketball Championship? “The secret is to have eight great players, and four others who will cheer like crazy.” Jerry Tarkanian (Final Four Jokes & Nevada Jokes)
Masters Jokes: Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust a National is where The Masters is played.
Masters Jokes: “If there’s a golf course in heaven, I hope it’s like Augusta. I just don’t want an early tee time.” Gary Player
Masters Jokes: What is a Georgia gardener’s favorite golf hole… Flowering Peach at Augusta National Golf Course.
April 11th: National Pet Day Jokes: How did the little Scottish puppy feel when he saw a monster?… Terrier-fied!
April 12th National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day:
Masters Jokes: What is the #1 hole to have a cup of tea in golf?… Tea Olive, Hole #1 at Augusta National Golf Course.
2025 Masters Tournament Jokes:
April 15th: One Boston Day: Boston Jokes: Do you know what would be a great theme song for One Boston Day?… ONE by U2. Boston loves U2 and U2 loves Boston
Massachusetts Jokes: If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflower’s bring?… Pilgrims.
Texas Jokes: Why was the delegation from the Dallas Dyslexic Republican Association turned away from the Republican National Convention?… Their placard read: ‘We love Taxes.’
April 18th The Masters is sometimes falls on Good Friday… The most popular holes that year are #11, #12 and #13, Amen Corner. April 18th: Anniversary Jokes
Good Friday Jokes: TGIF….Thank God It’s Good Friday…..Please Do.
April 20th: Easter Jokes: What do Easter Bunny helpers get for making a basket?… Two points, just like anyone else. (World’s Best Basketball Jokes)
April 21st: Patriots’ Day Jokes: What was the Patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War? … Chicken Catch-a-Tory
April 22nd: Earth Day Jokes: What makes the Earth so great?… It’s well-rounded.
Boston Marathon Jokes: 2025 Boston Marathon: Kenya believe Sharon Lokedi won her 1st Boston Marathon AND broke the course record by 2 minutes and 30 seconds.
What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards? … A receding “hareline.”
Arbor Day Jokes: What is a pirate’s favorite holiday?… AHRRRRR-bor Day! (Pirate Jokes)
Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a good joke? … It might crack up!
What can be seen in the middle of the months ‘April’ and ‘March’, that cannot be seen in the beginning or end of either month?… the letter “r.”
Massachusetts Jokes: If you’re wicked smaht… You go to Harvard!
Prom Jokes: What did the swordfish say to the marlin on prom night?… Looking sharp!
April 22nd: Earth Day Jokes: How do trees get on the internet?… They log in.

May Jokes

Spring Jokes
May 4th: May the 4th be with You
May 10th: Mothers’ Day Jokes
May 25th: Memorial Day Jokes

May Day Jokes: Did you hear Ted Danson AKA Sam “May Day” Malone is the spokesperson for May Day?
I asked my elementary principal when her birthday was and she said March 1st… I have been marching for half an hour now, and she still hasn’t told me.
May 3rd: Kentucky Derby Jokes The Kentucky Derby is very romantic. The horse hugs the rail, the jockey puts his arms around the horse, and you kiss your money goodbye.
May 4th: May the 4th Be With You What a great week! May is the best month! May 3d is the Kentucky Derby. May the Fourth is Star Wars Day…. Cinco De Mayo and Revenge of the Sixth! All in the 1st week!
May 5th: Cinco De Mayo Jokes I was trying to think of a bad joke for Cinco De Mayo…. But all of mine are 5/5.
May 5th: Revenge of the Fifth: How long has Anakin Skywalker been evil?… Since the Sith Grade.
Nurses Week: The nurse walked into the busy doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, the invisible man is here.” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I can’t see him.”
Nurses Week: Why do nurses go to art school?… In case they have to draw blood.
Kentucky Jokes: I was surprised when a friend said he’ll work at KFC right after high school graduation.. Out of curiosity, I asked him why. All he said was, “It’s on my bucket list.”
May 10th Mother’s Day Jokes: What did the digital clock say to its mother?… “Look, Ma! No hands!”
Massachusetts Jokes: What is the Pope’s state in America?… “Mass”achusetts.
Pope Jokes: What is the Pope’s favorite college in America?… “Mass” Maritime.
Pope Jokes: Pope Leo XIV is a Chicago Cubs fan… He hates the Cardinals.
Mailman Jokes: What did the envelope say to the stamp?… Stick with me, and we’ll go places!
May 15th Endangered Species Day: All joking aside, what should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
May 15th Chocolate Chip Day: My grandmother bakes chocolate chip cookies the fastest… It literally takes her nana-seconds.Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best May jokes.
May 17th Preakness Stakes Jokes: In honor of the Preakness Stakes: Horse Racing is very romantic. The horse hugs the rail, the jockey puts his arms around the horse, and you kiss your money goodbye.
2025 Preakness Stakes Jokes: Who is a an English teacher’s favorite race horse of all time?… Journalism.
What’s Up Norm? Top 10 Lines From Norm Peterson: Coach:”What’s shaking, Norm?” Norm: “All four cheeks and a couple of chins.”
Lacrosse Jokes: Why did the defensive lacrosse player cross the playground?… To get to the other slide.
Navy Jokes: Navy captain: “Change your course, 10 degrees W” Seaman 1st Class: “Change yours 10 degrees E” Navy captain annoyed: “I’m a Navy captain. Change your course.” Seaman 1st Class: “You must change your course, sir.” Navy captain: “I’m an aircraft carrier..” Seaman 1st Class: “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”
World Turtle Day: Turtle Jokes What do you get if cross a Turtle with a Giraffe?… A Turtle-Neck Jokes for the Last Day of School:
School Sign on the Last Day of School: Dear Parents, Tag your it! Love the Teachers.
Lacrosse Jokes: Maryland Jokes: You’re from Maryland?… Please tell me all you know about lacrosse and crabs.
Indy 500 Jokes: What don’t Indianapolis 500 drivers eat before a big race?… In case they get indy-gestion.
May 26th Memorial Day Jokes: A nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about Memorial Day Weekend. “We live in a great country. We should be happy that we are all free.” A little boy came walking up to her. He stood with his hands on his hips & said. . . .“I’m not free. I’m 4.” High School Graduation Jokes:
High School Graduation: where the tassel was worth the hassle!
Army Jokes: A recruiter asks an octopus if he wants to join the Army… The octopus says no thanks I’m army enough as it is.
Graduation Jokes:Duke Basketball Jokes: Duke graduates have trouble spelling “Krzyzewski.” UNC graduates have trouble spelling “Smith.” (North Carolina Jokes & Grammar Jokes)
Prom Jokes: What did the band member use before going to the prom?… A tuba toothpaste!

bonus jokes

Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing and such?… At the Darth Maul, of course. (Top 10 Star Wars Jokes)
What did the rancor say after he ate a Wookiee?… Chewie! (Top 10 Star Wars Jokes)
What is a jedi’s favorite toy?… A yo-yoda (Top 10 Star Wars Jokes)
What do you call a pirate droid?… Argh2-D2 (Teach Like a Pirate is a great book for teachers!) (Top 10 Star Wars Jokes)

June Jokes

June 1st: 1st Day of Hurricane Season: Hurricanes are very… depressing.
What comes at the start of June?… J.
June 3rd National Egg Day: Would you like to hear an egg yolk… I have a dozen of them.
June 4th National Cheese Day: What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops?… Swiss! (Cheese Jokes)
Alaska Jokes: Alaska has its own capital!… Did Juneau that?
Donut Jokes: Friday June 6th, 2025 National Donut Day. Hole-y Moley! That donut pun was a-glaze-ing! 🍩
June 7th, 2025 National Trails Day: Hiking Jokes: I just made a hiking playlist for National Trails Day! It consists of Peanuts, Eminem, California Raisins and The Cranberries… I call it my Trail Mix. (California Jokes / Music Jokes / Hiking Jokes / Peanut Jokes)
June 8th, 2025: World Ocean Day Ocean Jokes: Jaws Jokes: Summer PSA: A friendly reminder: Sharks live in the ocean. Year-round.
Who is June’s favorite TV mom?… Beaver’s Mom June Cleaver!
Why is a traffic light red?…You would be red too if you were changing in front of people all day. (180 School Jokes)
What do prisoners use to call each other?… Cell phones. (180 School Jokes)
Friday the 13th Jokes: Friday the 13th, June 2025: What happens when Friday the 13th falls on the 75th Anniversary of Jaws… It is JAWsome!
June 14th Flag Day Jokes: Best War of 1812 Book Never Written:… “The Star- Spangled Banner” by Jose Kanusee.
June 15th Father’s Day Jokes Alaska Jokes: Dad: What’s the capital of Alaska? Me: Juneau. Dad: No, I don’t. That’s why I’m asking you.
When Flag Day follows Friday the 13th…. Should we raise a red flag?
June 17th Bunker Hill Day: What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?… The Battle of Bonkers Hill.
Jaws Jokes: Amity Island Summer PSA: Just remember, you’ll never need a bigger boat if you don’t go to the ocean.
Jaws Jokes: Amity Island Summer PSA: A friendly reminder: Sharks live in the ocean… Year-round.
June 20th Summer Solstice: Well, today is gonna be a long day…… What with the summer solstice and all…..
Jaws Jokes: #1 Amity Island AirBNB: Summer rental, 3 rooms, outdoor shower, ocean view WITH A POOL!
Jaws Jokes: Amity Island Summer PSA There’s a little-known but foolproof defense against sharks… Sharks will only attack you if you’re wet.
Heat Wave Jokes: #1 Rap Concert for a Heat Wave?… Ice T & Ice Cube.
Arizona Jokes: So a man from Arizona dies and goes to hell… When he gets there he asks Satan for a blanket.
Heat Wave Jokes: How hot is it?… Hot water now comes out of both taps.
NBA Draft: 2025 NBA Draft: June 25th, 2025… Flagg Day in Newport, ME.
NBA Draft: June 25th, 2025…. Cooper Flagg was the Maine attraction at the 2025 NBA Draft.
Don’t Harper on it… the Spurs made a great choice at #2.
Heat Wave Jokes: How hot is it?… It is so hot, the cows are giving evaporated milk.
What do you get from a pampered cow?… Spoiled milk. (180 School Jokes)
What comes at the end of June?… E.

Joke of the Day: 365 Family-Friendly Jokes

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