Earth Day Jokes

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Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Earth Day jokes.
All joking aside, what should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Rare Earth… a great band for Earth Day.
What makes the Earth so great?… It’s well-rounded.
How many climate skeptics does it take to change a lightbulb?… None. They’d rather live in the dark.
What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles?… UCLA.
Earth is so calming… it keeps me grounded.
This Earth Day I decided I would become more environmentally conscious… So I’m starting to recycle jokes.
My teacher wanted me to come up with a set of steps that we could use to save the environment … So I created an Al Gore-ithm.
In honor of Earth day, I’m sending all of my work-related emails to my “recycle” folder.
Why are recycle bins optimistic?… Because they’re full of cans.
If the Earth was an apartment… we wouldn’t be getting our deposit back.
What did the mother worm say to the little worm who was late?… “Where in earth have you been?”
I have an obsession with wind farms… I’m a huge fan.
Take care of Earth… There’s no planet B.
What do you call leprechauns who collect aluminum cans, used newspapers and plastic bottles?… “Wee-cyclers!”
How much trash do you have to throw in the ocean to make a new country?… None, just some tea.
I wanted to throw an Earth Day party… but I forgot to planet.
Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets?… Polly, Ethel and Ian.
What’s a tornado’s favorite game?… Twister!
What do you call it when worms take over the world?… Global worming!
How do trees get on the internet?… They log in. (Arbor Day Jokes)
Son: “Dad, can you explain what a solar eclipse is?” Dad: “No sun.”
If you live in an igloo, what’s the worst thing about global warming?… No privacy!
What kind of hair do oceans have?… Wavy! (Ocean Jokes)
How do you cut a wave in half?… Use a sea saw.
What did Obi Wan Kenobi say to the tree?… May the Forest be with you. (Star Wars Jokes for Kids)
If I ride my bike twice … does that count as RE-CYCLING?
What did the limestone say to the geologist?… “Don’t take me for granite.”
Where does a killer whale go for braces?… The orca-dontist. (Dentist Jokes for Kids)
What did one lightening bolt say to the other lightening bolt?… You’re shocking!
How can you tell the ocean is friendly?… It waves. (Ocean Jokes for Kids)
How do hurricanes see?… With one eye!
How do trees promote the pledge to protect the Earth?… By handing out leaf-lets.
Why don’t you pay for dead batteries?… They’re free of charge.
What does a cloud wear under his pants?… Thunderwear!
What kind of bow can’t be tied?… A rainbow!
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters only to dolphins?… It only has 1 customer, but at least it serves a porpoise. (Dolphin Jokes)
What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber! (September Jokes)
What did the ground say to the earthquake?… You crack me up!
What happens when it rains cats and dogs?… You have to be careful to not step in a poodle! (Animal Jokes for Kids)
Why does a Time Magazine survey state only 85% of Americans think global warming is happening?… The other 15 percent work for the oil industry!
Where do saplings go to learn?… Elementree school.
Why are people always tired on Earth Day?… Because they just finished a long March. (Funny Jokes for Each Month)
Did you hear about the power plant that was bad for the environment all year?… He got coal for Christmas.
What does a tree drink?.. Root Beer!
What did Cinderella wear when she went swimming in the ocean?… Glass flippers!
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?… Because they spend years at C! (Pirate Jokes for Kids)
What is a good ice breaker question for dating?… Anything on Global Warming.
When was our world born?… On its B-Earth-Day!
What kind of plant grow on your hand?… Palm tree. (Top Biology Jokes)
What does the Earth say to other planets of the Solar System?… “You guys have no life.”
What did one volcano say to the other volcano?… I lava you!
What falls in winter but never gets hurt?… Snow.
Why is grass so dangerous?… Because it’s full of blades.
What has no beginning, end or middle & touches every continent?… The Ocean.
What is the Texas state slogan?… Oils well that ends well.
What is the strongest creature in the ocean?… A mussel! (Sports Jokes for Kids)
What’s the difference between weather and climate?… You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate.
What do worms leave round their baths?… The scum of the earth!
A climate scientist and a climate change denier walk into a bar. The denier says, nice to see you. The climate scientist says, nice to CO2.
Where do crabs & lobsters catch their trains?… Kings Crustacean.
Why couldn’t the flower ride its bike?… It had lost its petals.
Mom: “You shouldn’t always lounge around so lazily on the couch!” Son: “I’m doing something for the environment — I’m saving energy!
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?… Because they dropped out of school.
What did the teaching tree do when on Earth Day?… He took a leaf of absence.
What did the flower say after it told a joke?… I was pollen your leg.
What is the best way to learn more about spiders that live in the rainforest?… Check out their web site!
Where do bees go to celebrate Earth Day?… Beejing and Sting-apore.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on! (Shark Jokes for Kids)
What happened to the leaf when he was caught cheating during the Earth Day quiz?… He was disqua-leaf-ied.
Knock knock… Who’s there on Earth Day?… Tree… Tree who?… Have a tree-rific day!
How do leaves go to the Earth Day party?… They use an autumn-mobile.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?… Because they dropped out of school.
What do trees feel on Earth Day?… Re-leaf.
Why are Tree Huggers bad at playing cards?… They like to avoid the flush.
Why did the farmer plant a seed in his pond?… He was trying to grow a water-melon.
Which fish is the most famous in the ocean?… The star fish! (Top Animal Jokes for Kids)
Why did the sun go to school?… To get brighter. (Top College Jokes for Kids)
What is a shark’s favorite game?… Swallow the leader! (Shark Jokes for Kids)
What did one firefly say to the other?… Got to glow now!
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?… It was feeling green! (Fall Jokes)
What did the tree wear to the pool party?… Swimming trunks! (Summer Jokes for Kids)
Do bees fly in the rain?… Not without their yellow jackets!
Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Lettuce… Lettuce who?… Lettuce in, it’s hot outside!
What do you call a rooster that crows every morning?… An alarm cluck!
What did the little tree say to the big tree?… Leaf me alone!
What’s the biggest moth in the world?… A mammoth!
Why is the mushroom always invited to parties?… Because he’s a fungi.
Why did the gardener plant light bulbs?… She wanted to grow a power plant.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?… Because she expected some change in the weather.
How do Republicans plan on fighting record high temperatures?… By switching from Fahrenheit to Celsius!
What snack do the bees buy on April 22nd?… Beescuits!
What does Earth get on Earth Day?… A birthday quake!
What is a blue whale’s favorite James Bond Film?… Licence to Krill.
Where does seaweed look for a job?… In the ‘Kelp-wanted’ ads.
What does the bee say to the flower on Earth Day?… “Hey bud!”
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?… Drop it a line!
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?… Pier pressure.
Why do tornadoes zigzag?… They’re dizzy.
What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean?… Nothing, it just waved!
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?…Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Do you know where fishes work?… The Offish! (Top Animal Jokes for Kids)
What did the beach say to the wave?… “Long tide, no sea.”
“I didn’t know it was Earth Day… I’m usually in the dark on it…”
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?… All the sailors were marooned.
What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?… It gets wet.
What did one wave say to the other wave?… Nothing. It just waved.
What happened to the shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?…It got lockjaw. (Shark Jokes for Kids)
What did the environmentalists get when he sat down too long on a melting iceberg?… Polaroid.
What’s a honey bee’s favorite gift for Earth Day?… A Bee-gonia.
What does a mermaid wear to maths lessons?… An algae-bra
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?…The Codfather.
Why did the lobster blush?… Because the sea weed.
“I’m vegan, by the way,” says a vegan. “Oh, probably out of your love for animals?” a friend replies. “No, out of plant hatred, pure plant hatred!”
What did the Alien’s report on intelligent life on Earth say?… “There is no intelligent life down there. They still believe that taxing people who produce things will lower their planet’s temperature.”
What happens when you throw a red rock in the Black Sea?… It sinks to the bottom.
What did the shark plead in the murder case?…Not gill-ty. (Shark Jokes for Kids)
“Got arrested by cops for celebrating Earth Day and switching off all plugs… Shouldn’t have done it in a hospital I guess.”
How many climate skeptics does it take to change a lightbulb?… None. It’s too early to say if the light bulb needs changing.
What does seaweed say when it’s stuck at the bottom of the sea?… “Kelp! Kelp!”
What does the sun drink out of?… Sunglasses.
Why did the worm cross the ruler?… To become an inchworm.
What is a cetacean’s favorite TV show?… Whale of fortune.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?… The prawn broker.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?… Because one good tern always deserves another.
A salmon walks into a vegetarian restaurant and the waiter says, “Sorry, we don’t serve fish.”
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?… Show me your mussels. (Sports Jokes for Kids)
Why don’t oysters give to charity?… Because they’re shellfish!
Which bus crossed the Atlantic Ocean?… Christopher ColumBUS. (Columbus Day Jokes)
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?… Because one good tern always deserves another. (Bird Jokes)
Where do crabs & lobsters catch their trains?… Kings Crustacean. (Lobster Jokes)
What puts the white lines on the ocean?… An ocean liner.
How do oil companies deal with with oil spills?… Slick lawyers.
Why do fish swim in salt water?… Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Why did the algae & the fungus get married?… They took a lichen to each other (although, unfortunately, their marriage is now on the rocks)
What lies between a good recycler and a bad recycler?… Oregon.
Algae A (to Algae B): “How are things?”Algae B: “Good thanks; business is blooming.”
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?… A nervous wreck.
Where do you calculate the mass of a cetacean?… At a Whale-Weigh Station.
Why did the seawater keep walking around in circles?… Because it was gyred.
What did one flat-fish parasite say to the other at the end of their date?… “Your plaice or mine?”
How can you amplify a pirate’s DNA?… PC Arghhh.
I do not have cobwebs in the apartment — they are eco-dream catchers!
Teacher: As a result of Global warming, our next generation will not be able to see tigers. So what do we do? Student: So what? We never complain that we didn’t get to see Dinosaurs.
“Is the planet round or flat?… Neither, it is screwed.”
What do you call the seagulls that live by the Bay?… Bagels.
Why did the dog bury himself in the backyard on Earth Day?… Because you can’t grow a tree without bark.
What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?… Foul weather.
Which bird suffers a lot from air pollution?… Puffin
Why are people tired on April 22nd?… Because they just finished March.
People sometimes wonder why “Flat-Earth Day” only comes once a year. The scientific answer is that it occurs once every revolution that the Sun orbits the Earth.
Why were the climate change deniers disappointed that I got an ice cream cake for Earth Day?… Because it melted.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?… It was feeling green.
Why was the cucumber mad?… Because it was in a pickle.
What do you get when you cross an environmentalist with direct action?… Arrested.
Why are Vegans increasing Global warming?… Vegans eat plants. Plants reduce CO2. CO2 causes Global warming.
Where did the lightning bolt propose?… Cloud 9.
What did the tornado say to the washing machine?… Want to go for a spin?
“What gives that I don’t have a carbon footprint?”… “I drive everywhere.”
How does the old tree let the others know about throwing an Earth Day party?… Through a teleafone.
If trees sent wifi signals, people would plant more of them… Too bad they only produce this oxygen stuff.
What kind of people are fed up with people who litter?… Animals.
“I have an obsession with wind farms.” “Really?” “Yes. I’m a huge fan.”
“Us celebrating Earth Day is like an abusive spouse getting their wife flowers on Mother’s Day. Its all nicely nice right now, but you know she’s still getting drilled for something later.”

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