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Google Search “American Revolutionary War Jokes”
- Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best American Revolution jokes.
- How come there’s no Knock Knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings.
- What dance was very popular in 1776?… Indepen-dance!
- The history teacher in Massachusetts said his lessons were Revolutionary!
- What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?… Liberty!
- What was the Patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War? … Chicken Catch-a-Tory!
- British people say that we as Americans go overboard with the 4th of July…. When really the only thing that went overboard was their tea.
- What do you call a Boston Tea Party joke?… A brew-ha-ha!
- Father William, the old priest, made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names. Father William jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states. One lad raised his hand and said, Yes sir, but in those days there were only 13 states.
- What did King George think of the American colonists?… He thought they were revolting!
- Teacher: “More than 250 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student: “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!”
- Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?… Yeah, it cracked me up!
- What do you call a patriot who’s always on time?… A minute man.
- What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?… The Americans licked the British.
- What ghost haunted King George III?… The spirit of ‘76!
- Which flag is the most highly rated?… The American flag. It has 50 stars!
- Why did the colonists always carry a pencil?… They wanted to draw their own conclusions!
- What did one flag say to another during the Revolution?… “Let’s wave goodbye to tyranny!”
- The Fourth of July weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. “We live in a great country,” she said. “One of the things we should be happy about is that, in this country, we are all free.” One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said. . . .“I’m not free. I’m four.”
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you name the Massachusetts holiday that coincides with the Boston Marathon? (Patriots Day)
- What are the most patriotic flowers?… Yankee Doodle Dandylions.
- Why was George Washington such a good general?… He never lost his head in battle—literally or figuratively!
- Why did Paul Revere ride his horse at midnight?… Because the horse wanted to be a night mare.
- Why did the colonists love gardening?… They were always planting seeds of rebellion!
- Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?… On the bottom!
- Why were the first Americans like ants?… They lived in colonies.
- Do they have a 4th of July in England?… Of course. That’s how they get from the 3rd to the 5th. (4th of July Quiz)
- What did the Liberty Bell say to the British?… You can’t bell-ieve we’re free
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Ray… Ray who?… Raymember the founding father’s on Independence Day!
- How did American colonists’ dogs protest against England?… The Boston Flea Party.
- Where did General Washington put his armies?… In his sleevies!
- What is Uncle Sam’s favorite snack?… Fire crackers.
- What was General Washington’s favorite tree?… The infan-tree.
- Why was tea so important to the American Revolution?… Because it brewed up some serious change!
- What did Luke Skywalker say on Independence Day?… May the fourth be with you!
- “If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn’t have declared their independence from it.” Stephen Colbert
- On July 4th, what did the ghost say?… Red, white, and boo!
- Who has to work on the 4th of July?… Fire works.
- What was all the rage at the Colonists’ Cotillion of 1776?… Doing the Indepen-dance.
- Why did the firecracker go to the hair salon?… It needed to trim its bangs.
- What did King George think of the American colonies?… He thought they were revolting!
- Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?… At the bottom!
- What’s the most patriotic drink?… Liber-tea, of course.
- What’s the official snack of the Declaration of Independence?… Poppycorn.
- Teacher: “How did the Founding Fathers decide on our country’s flag?” Student: “I guess they took a flag poll!”
- Why did the British soldiers go to therapy?… They couldn’t handle the constant “tea”-sing from the American patriots!
- What was the most popular dance move in the colonies in 1776?… The Indepen-dance!
- What kind of tea did the colonists throw into Boston Harbor?… Liberty tea!
- A little boy just couldn’t learn. One day his teacher asked him who signed the Declaration of Independence. He didn’t know. For almost a week she asked him the same question every day, but still he couldn’t come up with the right answer. Finally, in desperation, she called the boy’s father to her office. “Your boy won’t tell me who signed the Declaration of Independence,” she complained. “Come here, son, and sit down,” the dad said to the boy. “Now if you signed that crazy thing, just admit it so we can get out of here!” (Top Teacher Jokes)
- What do you call a tea party that turns into a revolution?… A brew-ha-ha!
- Teacher: “Who wrote: Oh say, can you see?” Student: “An eye doctor?” (Top Teacher Jokes)
- The Boston Tea Party was a real brew-ha-ha!
- What was Thomas Jefferson’s favorite dessert?… Monti jello
- How did Thomas Jefferson feel after writing the Declaration?… Like he’d penned his best work.
- What do you call an AWESOME American drawing by a child?… A Yankee Doodle Dandy!
- What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?…Tea-shirts.
- What is the weight of freedom?… A washing-ton
- What did a patriot put on his dry skin?… Revo-lotion!
- What sport is played on Independence Day?… American Flag Football.
- What did Samuel Adams say to his beer?… You’re the ‘ale’-iance we need.
- Why did the colonists go to the ocean?… To sea freedom.
- Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?… Laughayette.
- What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?… A bald beagle!.
- What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware?…”Get in the boat, men!”
- Why was eagle hunting prohibited in America?… Because it was ill-eagle.
- What would you get if you crossed Washington’s home with nasty insects?… Mt. Vermin!
- What cat said, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”?… Paw Revere.
- Why did the British cross the Atlantic?… To get to the other tide!
- What’s big, cracked, and carries your luggage?… The Liberty Bellhop!
- What march would you play at a jungle parade?… “Tarzan Stripes Forever!”
- Why was the Boston Tea Party so popular?… Because it was steeped in history!
- How do you know if a burger is patriotic?… It’s got that American cheese!
- What did the American colonists say to British soldiers during the American Revolution?… We’re revolting!
- Which Founding Father is a dog’s favorite?… Bone Franklin.
- My great, great, great grandfather was a soldier and a patriot and in order to treat his wounds and scars, revo-lotion.
- Why was King George III so bad at math?… Because he couldn’t count on his colonies!
- Why did George Washington’s troops go to the party?… To have a revolution-ary time.
- When we had a school trip to an aviary on Independence Day, we noticed that the ducks were given a certain inalienable right. Turns out, they had a duck-leration of independence.
- Why did King George III bring a ladder to the battle?… He wanted to take a high ground.
- What did King George think of the Boston Tea Party?… He thought it was just a “tea-rrible” idea!
- How is a person who never gets sick like the United States of America?… They both have great constitutions.
- What did Benjamin Franklin say when he invented bifocals?… Now I can see both sides of the argument!
- How do you describe a Massachusetts historian?… Someone who always “Mass-ters” the subject!
- Why was the Minuteman always calm under pressure?… He knew how to take things one “minute” at a time!
- How did the Massachusetts colonists stay warm during winter?… They had a lot of “Mass” appeal with their cozy blankets!
- Why did Benjamin Franklin feel shocked when he discovered electricity?… He had a real “current” event!
- What did the Revolutionary leader say at the meeting?… “Let’s ‘concord’ our differences and move forward!”
- What did Paul Revere say at the Boston Tea Party?… “The British are coming, and they’re bringing crumpets!”
- What kind of tea did the American colonists really want?… Liberty.
- What did they serve at the Boston Tea Party after all that throwing?… A refreshing cup of freedom!
- Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?… Because he couldn’t lie!
- Why did Benjamin Franklin fly his kite?… To get a shocking view of the British.
- What did the American colonists say to the British tea?… Leaf us alone.
- Since it’s the fourth of July… let’s indepen-dance the night away!
- Why didn’t the skeleton fight in the American Revolution?… Because he didn’t have the guts!
- Why did the Sons of Liberty hate playing cards during the American Revolution?… Because every time they saw a King or a Queen, it reminded them of taxation without representation.
- What did one American flag say to the other flag?….. Nothing. It just waved!
- What has four legs, a shiny nose, and fought for England?… Rudolph the Redcoat Reindeer! (Christmas Trivia & Christmas Jokes)
- Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?… Because the horse was too heavy to carry!
- Why did the American colonists always bring a ladder to the revolution?… Because they wanted to rise to the occasion!
- What is the best sport to play on July 4th?… Flag football.
- What’s a revolutionary’s favorite drink?… Tea with a side of liberty!
- What gives birds certain inalienable rights?… The Ducklaration of Independence.
- What do you get if you cross a patriotic American with a small curly-haired dog?… Yankee Poodle.
- Why did John Adams go to the doctor?… He had a bad case of independence-itis.
- What’s red, white and blue?… Our flag, of course. And a sad candy cane! (Top Christmas Jokes)
- What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington?… One has a bill on his face; the other has his face on a bill!
- What quacks, has a bill and shouldn’t be trusted?… Beneduck Arnold.
- What’s red, white, black and blue?… Uncle Sam after a boxing match.
- I tried to make a joke about the Liberty Bell… but it cracked up.
- Why don’t firefighters get the Fourth of July off?… Because fire works.
- How did the unexpected guest greet his grilling host at the July 4 barbeque?… “Fancy meat-ing you here.”
- Which flag has the highest Yelp rating?… The U.S. flag. It has 50 stars!
- What should people never eat on July 4th?… Fire crackers.
- What do the American flag and a sad candy cane have in common?… They’re both red, white and blue.
- Why shouldn’t there be knock-knock jokes on the 4th of July?… Because freedom rings.
- Why did the American soldiers bring their own snacks to battle during the American Revolution?… Because they didn’t want to go “continental” breakfast!
- George Washington never told a lie… except about how bad the winter at Valley Forge was.
- Which colonists told the most jokes?… Punsylvanians!
- Which letter is the coolest every 4th of July?… An Iced T.
- Why did the American colonists go to the mountains?… To have a peak performance.
- Why did Thomas Jefferson bring a pillow to the Continental Congress?… He wanted to have a soft declaration.
- Why did the colonists throw tea in the harbor?… Because it was brew-tal taxation!
- What did George Washington say when crossing the Delaware?… “Row, row, row your boat… quietly.”
- What treat do dads like on the 4th of July?… POPsicles.
- Why did Paul Revere ride at midnight?… He wanted to avoid the morning rush hour!
- What do you call a person who can’t get enough of American Revolution history?… A Revoluti-nut!
- Why did George Washington’s troops go to the forest?… To have a tree-mendous victory.
- Which famous person do you get when you make a wreath out of $100 bills?… Aretha Franklin.
- Why did the liberty bell go to therapy?… Because it had some serious cracks in its life!
- What do you call a revolution where everyone brings their own tea bags?… A brew-haha!
- Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?… They’re both cracked. (Top 10 Easter Jokes)
- Why were the first Pennsylvania settlers like ants?… Because they lived in colonies.
- What did Paul Revere say at the end of his historic ride?… I’ve got to get a softer saddle!
- What famous pig signed the Declaration of Independence?… John Hamcock!
- What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?… A fire cracker.
- What did the Patriots say to the British?… “You’re taxing our patience!”
- Who loves singing the patriotic song that starts with, “Oh say, can you see?”… An optometrist
- What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country?… Beneduck Arnold.
- Why did the colonists refuse to drink British tea?… They found it too taxing!
- Did you hear about the artist in the Continental Army?… He was a Yankee doodler.
- Teacher: True or False? The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia. Student: False. It was written in ink. (Top Teacher Jokes)
- How did the colonists react when they heard about the Stamp Act?… They licked it off and sent it back to England!
- Why did the hot dog go to the 4th of July party?… Because it heard it was buns of fun.
- Why did the colonists throw tea into the harbor?… Because they wanted to steep their independence!
- Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the post office?… To send a revolution-ary letter.
- Why did King George III go to therapy?… He had a tax-ing problem.
- What did George Washington say to his dentist?… I cannot tell a lie, I have a toothache.
- Why did the Continental Army excel at math?… They knew how to handle their “revolutions!”
- What’s the favorite type of exercise on the Fourth of July?… The Freedom Run—everyone loves to celebrate by running away from the British!
- What did Paul Revere say to his fellow riders?… Let’s horse around.
- Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the post office?… To send a revolution-ary letter.
- Why did King George III go to therapy?… He had a tax-ing problem.
- What do you call a British soldier who loves tea?… A loyalist steeped in tradition!
- What did George Washington say to his spies?… Keep it on the down ‘low’.
- Why did the minute men bring their watches to battle?… So they could be on time for freedom!
- What did one colonist say to the other during the Boston Tea Party?… “This is steep!”
- The American Revolution wasn’t just about freedom… it was also a major tea spill.
- What’s red, white, blue and green?… A seasick Uncle Sam.
- Why did the American eagle land on the dollar bill?… Because it’s a bird of prey.
- What do you get when you cross a patriot with a dog?… A Yankee doodle dandy!
- Teacher: “Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?” Student: “I think it was Thomas Jeffer’s son.”
- The British army loved tea… but they couldn’t handle our revolu-tea-on!
- Why didn’t the colonists invite King George to their tea party?… Because he always brought too much baggage!
- What’s the American Revolution’s favorite type of music?… Rock and roll—it was all about breaking free!
- Why did the colonists wear tea-shirts to the Boston Tea Party?… Because they wanted to make a “brew-tiful” statement!
- What do you call an American revolutionary who draws cartoons?… Yankee Doodler.
- Great American Political Book Never Written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks. (Top Presidents’ Day Jokes)
- What did the Statue of Liberty say to the New Year’s Eve ball?… “You’re looking a little down tonight!”
- What did the British say when they heard about the Boston Tea Party?… “This is a steep price to pay!”
- How did the colonists feel after throwing all that tea away?… They were feeling a bit “brewed” up!
- Why was everyone so excited about the Boston Tea Party?… It was the original “tea-rrific” event!
- Why did the American flag go to school?… To show its true colors!
- What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?… The Battle of Bonkers Hill.
- What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?… The Fodder of Our Country!
- What did the colonist say when he found a great deal on tea?… I’m Boston this bargain!
- Why did Patrick Henry bring a turkey to the revolution?… To have a fowl temper.
- Why did the colonists throw so much tea overboard?… They wanted to make a splash for independence!
- What did King George think of the Boston Tea Party?… He thought it was just a “tea-rrible” idea!
- Why did everyone want to be at the Boston Tea Party?… Because it was a real “tea-rrific” time!
- How did the colonists celebrate after the Boston Tea Party?… With a big “brew-haha” bash!
- What do you eat on the 5th of July?… Independence Day old macaroni salad.
- Why did the American Revolution feel like a sitcom?… Because there were plenty of “Liberty” episodes!
- What’s red, white, blue, and almost as ugly as a dog?… A revolutionary warthog!
- What’s red, white, blue, and green?… A patriotic pickle.
- What is red, white, blue, and yellow?… A star-spangled banana.
- Why did the colonists love their new country?… Because it was in-dependable.
- Why did the American flag break up with the British flag?… It felt like they were just going in circles.
- How did the colonists feel about taxes?… They found them very taxing!
- Why did the British army wear red coats?… So they could blend in with their tea stains!
- What’s a revolutionary’s favorite dessert?… Independence pie!
- What did the British soldiers say when they lost the war?… “This is just tea-rrible!”
- What’s the most patriotic dessert?… Apple pie—because it’s made in the USA!
- My great-grandfather fought with Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the French and my father fought with the Americans…. Your relatives couldn’t get along with anyone, could they?
- Why was the American flag always so happy?…. Because it had so many stars in its eyes!
- What do you call a loyalist who loves puns?… A loyal pun-dit!
- What did George Washington say when he crossed the Delaware River? “I’m going to make this crossing great again!”
- What do you call a well-informed Massachusetts resident?… A Mass-ive history buff!
- Why did the Boston tea party never run out of drinks?… Because they had plenty of “brew”-tality!
- Why did George Washington chop down the cherry tree with his hatchet?… Because his mom wouldn’t let him use the chainsaw.
- Teacher: “What do you know that has stars and stripes?” Student: “A movie about a zebra!” (Top Teacher Jokes)
- Why did Thomas Jefferson go to the library?… To declare his love for books.
- What did Washington say as he crossed the Delaware?… ”Next time I’m going to reserve a seat!”
- The British thought they’d win the war… but the colonists gave them the independence treatment.
- Paul Revere’s horse was always ahead of the curve… he knew when to hoof it.
- How did the British respond to the American Revolution?… With tea-rritory loss!
- What did one tea bag say to another during the protest?… “Let’s steep this thing up!”
- What do you call a British soldier who can’t stop telling jokes?… A pun-dit!
- The British didn’t expect the revolution to go viral… they should’ve read the Declaration of Independence’s terms and conditions.
- What did George Washington say to his spies?… Keep it on the down ‘low’.
- What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1772?… The Boston Flea Party.
- How did Benjamin Franklin feel about discovering electricity?… Shocked, of course
- Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?… At the chopping mall.
- What did Paul Revere say to his horse?… Giddyup, we have a revolution to start.
- What did the American flag say to the British flag?… I’ve got stars in my eyes for freedom!
- Why was the American Revolution like a basketball game?… Because the Americans were always “shooting” for independence!
- What rooster signed the Declaration of Independence first?… John Hancock-a-doodle-doo.
- What’s red, white, blue, and green?… A patriotic turtle!
- What did the Massachusetts flag say to the American flag?… Nothing. It waved! (Top Flag Day Jokes)
- What did King George III say when he heard about the Boston Tea Party?… I guess they really don’t like our brew!
- Why did the American colonists go to the mountains?… To have a peak performance.
- The Continental Army didn’t need Wi-Fi—they had great connections with France.
- Why don’t we celebrate King George’s birthday?… He didn’t want to lose the party.
- Why was George Washington a great leader?… He always knew how to cross the Delaware without a hitch!
- What do you call a snowman on the 4th of July?… A puddle.
- What’s a red, white, and blue jellyfish’s favorite holiday?… Independence Day, of course—because it’s jelly for freedom!
- What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?… Because she can’t sit down.
- Why did the British soldiers hate playing cards during the American Revolution?… Because every time they saw a King or a Queen, it reminded them of the colonists!
- Why does Uncle Sam wear red, white and blue suspenders?… To hold up his pants.
- Food, Family, Fourth of July, and Fireworks… The four best F words ever!
- What did the little firecracker say to the big firecracker?… Hi, Pop!
- Why did the British soldiers wear red coat?… So they could hide in the tomatoes.
- Who gave the liberty Bell to Philadelphia?… A duck family, Because it had a qwack in it!
- Why did the American Revolution soldiers only fight in open fields?… Because they didn’t want to be “corn-nered” by the British!
- What would you get if you crossed a colonial hairpiece with a teepee?… A powdered wigwam!
- Why did the American colonists want liberty?… Because they couldn’t handle the tea-rrible taxes!
- Why did George Washington chop down the cherry tree?… Because it was a “root” cause of his honesty!
- How is the American flag like Santa Claus?… They both hang out at the pole! (Christmas Trivia & Christmas Jokes)
- Why did the colonists throw their tea into the harbor?… Because they couldn’t hold their tea!
- What are the two main rules in the Army?… 1. The commanding officer is always right. 2. If the commanding officer is not right, see #1
- Why did the colonists throw so much tea overboard?… They wanted to make a splash for independence!
- What would you get if you crossed an idiot with Yankee Doodle?… Yankee Doofus!
- What’s a Revolutionary War soldier’s favorite type of music?… Anything with a good “beat!”
- Why did everyone love attending Revolutionary War reenactments?… Because they were always full of action and drama!
- Why did the British soldiers wear red?… To make the colonists see red.
- Why did the Boston tea party get out of hand?… Because everyone was just trying to brew up some fun!
- Why did the British army always lose battles in the American Revolution?… They couldn’t handle all the colonial puns!
- Why did the British wear red?… So they could always stop—drop—and retreat.
- What did the American flag say to the other flag?… Nothing, it just waved.
- What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?… Dino-mite!
- Why was the math book sad about history class?… It knew it couldn’t count on the past!
- “My brother swallowed a box of firecrackers.” Friend: “Is he all right now?”…. “I don’t know. I haven’t heard the last report.”
- What did one firecracker say to the other?… My pop’s bigger than yours!
- Why did the bald eagle start a business?… Because he wanted to soar to new heights!
- What’s the American motto at the beach?… “Liberty, freedom, and sunscreen for all!”
- Why did the bald eagle apply for a job?… Because it needed to make some soaring income!
- Why did the fireworks fail their math test?… They were too busy exploding with excitement!
- Why did the American bald eagle go to the barber?… Because it wanted a new haircut.
- How do most Americans spend 4th of July weekend?… Stuck in traffic.
- How did the Revolutionary War soldier keep his spirits up?… He always found a way to keep things patri-otic!
- Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?… Right at the bottom of the page.
- Which American colonists told the most riddles?… Puns-ylvanians.
- How do pandas stay cool on Independence Day?… They use bear conditioning.
- Why did the American flag go to school?… To get its stripes in history.
- What did one flag say to another during the American Revolution?… “I’m really flagging, can you give me a hand?”
- What do fireworks eat at a picnic?… Hot dogs and hamburgers, of course!
- What’s red, white, black and blue?… Uncle Sam falling down the stairs.
- Why did the American flag go to the doctor?… Because it had a few stripes.
- What do you call a lazy American?… A couch potato.
- What’s red, white, blue and a little green? Uncle Sam when he’s sea sick.
- What do you call an American who loves to eat?… A foodie from the USA.