4th of July Jokes

My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest Blogs for Education, Parents, Travel, Tutoring, Sports, Music and College.

Google Search “4th of July Jokes”

July Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best July 4th jokes.
July Knock Knock Jokes: How come there’s no Knock Knock joke about America?… Because freedom rings.
Tea Jokes & Boston Jokes: America: Hey England, Happy Fourh of July! England: Where’s the T? America: Threw it in the Boston Harbor!
Fireworks Jokes: July 4th PSA: On one hand fireworks are a lot of fun. On the other hand I only have 2 fingers.
World Cup Soccer Jokes: With America’s 250th Anniversary, was there any doubt the US Soccer team would still be playing after the 4th of July?
What dance was very popular in 1776?…Indepen-dance!
Fireworks Jokes: Most people enjoy a day off on the 4th of July except fire… Fire works on the 4th of July.
Teacher: “More than 250 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student: “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!”
Star Wars Jokes: What did Luke Skywalker say on Independence Day?… May the Fourth be with you!
Dad Jokes: What treat do dads like on the 4th of July?… POPsicles.
Music Jokes: What band is on every 4th of July playlist?… America.
America 250 Jokes: Free… a great band to headline America’s 250th celebration.
America 250 Jokes: Free… a band that should be on every 250th America playlist.
Music Jokes: Free… a band that should be on every 4th of July playlist.
What’s the best rated flag?… The US, it has fifty stars!
Tea Jokes: Since 1776… America has been sipping on liber-tea.
Why shouldn’t there be knock-knock jokes on the 4th of July?… Because freedom rings.
Do they have a 4th of July in England?…Yes. That’s how they get from the 3rd to the 5th.
Knock Knock Jokes for the American Revolution: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Nota… Nota who?… Not America because freedom rings!
July Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Abby… Abby who?… Abby 4th of July!
What is the best sport to play on July 4th?… Flag football.
Every 4th of July, America sends Britain a locket with a little tiny picture of the United States in it. They want to remind the crown that America is still in da pendant.
Basketball Jokes for July: What NBA basketball player would be a great spokesperson for the 4th of July?… Enes Freedom.
What American holiday can you never trust?… The 4th of Ju – LIE!
Music Jokes: What Phil Collins song is dedicated to fireworks on the 4th of July?… In the Air Tonight.
Music Jokes: What band to trees listen to on the 4th of July?… Spruce Springsteen and the Tree Street Band.
Boston Jokes: HAPPY FOURH OF JULY Looking for the T?… It’s in Boston Harbor.
Ghost Jokes: On July 4th, what did the ghost say?… Red, white, and boo!
What beverage do you drink on the 4th of July?… Liber – TEA!
Dad Jokes: “Don’t light those fireworks!” Dad exploded on the 4th of July.
Do you love Inde – pun – dance day puns?
A nursery school teacher told her class about the 4th of July. “We live in a great country. We should be happy that we are all free.” At this, a little boy marched up to her from the back of the class, put his hands on his hips and said angrily, “I’m not free. I’m four.”
Happy Ind -pun- dance Day!
Flag Day Jokes: Knock knock… Who’s there?… Razor… Razor who?… Razor flag, it’s Independence Day!
There was one little boy in the teacher’s class who really struggled to learn. One day the teacher asked him who signed the Declaration of Independence, and of course he didn’t know. The teacher asked him every day for a week but still he couldn’t give the right answer. Finally, in desperation, she called the boy’s father to come and see her. She said to him, “Your boy won’t tell me who signed the Declaration of Independence.” The father said to his son, “Come here, boy, and sit down.” The boy duly did as he was told and then his dad said to him, “Now if you signed that stupid thing, just admit it so we can get out of here.”
Flag Day Jokes: What do you get when you cross Captain America with the Hulk?… The Star-Spangled Banner.
Mailman Jokes: What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?…The Americans licked the British.
What did King George think of the American colonists?…He thought they were revolting!
Do not let the fact that today is July 4th distract you… From the fact that England blew a 13 colony lead.
Fireworks Jokes: I was afraid I might fail my fireworks exam… But I passed with flying colors.
Tea Jokes: What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?… Liberty!
Do you know why Americans never knock?… Because freedom rings.
What do the moon and the Founding Fathers have in common?… Both have been through revolution.
Boston Jokes: What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?… Tea-shirts.
Pennsylvania Jokes: Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?…Yeah, it cracked me up!
Ocean Jokes: What’s a red, white, and blue jellyfish’s favorite holiday?… Independence Day, of course—because it’s jelly for freedom!
World Geography Jokes: Independence Day is the day that Americans proudly wave their American flags that were made in China.
New England Patriots Jokes: What is George Washington’s favorite football team?… The New England Patriots.
July Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Sadie… Sadie, who?… Sadie Pledge of Allegiance — it’s Independence Dayl!
Ghost Jokes: Why was King George III scared?… Because he was haunted by the spirit of ’76.
Do other countries also have the 4th of July?… Sure! It’s the next day after the 3rd of July and before the 5th.
South Dakota Jokes: If something goes wrong with the 4th of July celebration at Mt. Rushmore… It will be a monumental disaster!
Fireworks Jokes: Food, Family, Fourth of July, and Fireworks… The four best F words ever!
Fireworks Jokes: What do Major League Baseball pitchers and TSA agents have in common?… Fireworks go off in the sky if they do their job incorrectly.
Since it’s the Fourth of July… let’s indepen-dance the night away!
How did the unexpected guest greet his grilling host at the July 4th barbeque?… “Fancy meat-ing you here.”
Why were the first Americans like ants?… They lived in colonies.
What was the Patriots favorite food in the Revolutionary War? … Chicken Catch-a-Tory!
Fireworks Jokes: I’m good at fireworks displays… I’ve got a flare for it.
Bacon Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Bacon… Bacon who?… Bacon cake for Independence Day.
Music Jokes: Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe sing the National Anthem on Independence Day?
“LaborDay is a glorious holiday because your child will be going back to school the next day. It would have been called Independence Day, but that name was already taken.” Bill Dodds
George Washington Jokes: What was General Washington’s favorite tree?… The infan-tree.
Hobbit Jokes: I’m throwing a 4th of July hobbit party… It’s just a little get-together.
What did Thomas Jefferson do before signing the Declaration of Independence?… He did a pre-ramble.
Book Jokes: A Great American Book Never Written: The Parts of the National Anthem by Homer D. Brave.
Which letter is the coolest every 4th of July?… An Iced T.
Why do tea company employees like the Fourth of July so much?… They love to celebrate liber-tea!
World Geography Jokes: 4th of July… The only time of the year Americans say the day and month in the correct order.
Book Jokes: Best American Battle Book Never Written: “American Victories” by Norman D. Beech.
Flag Day Jokes: What do you find when you see the Hulk holding the American flag?… The Star-Spangled Banner.
What does a patriot use on his dry skin?… A Revo-lotion.
How do most Americans spend 4th of July weekend?… Stuck in traffic.
The nerve of some people! Here it is, July 8th and idiots are outside shooting off fireworks. They almost burned down my Christmas decorations.
Fireworks Jokes: What should people never eat on July 4th?… Fire crackers.
What do you eat on the 5th of July?… Independence Day old macaroni salad.
What’s the favorite type of exercise on the Fourth of July?… The Freedom Run—everyone loves to celebrate by running away from the British!
Knock knock!… Who’s there?… Tarzan… Tarzan who?… Tarzan stripes forever!
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Gladys.…Gladys who?… Gladys the 4th of July.
What do you call a can that has the patriotic spirit on the 4th of July?… A Merry can!
How do pandas stay cool on Independence Day?… They use bear conditioning.
Snowman Jokes: What do you call a snowman on the 4th of July?… A puddle.
Hot Dog Jokes: Why did the hot dog go to the 4th of July party?… Because it heard it was buns of fun.
Knock! Knock!… Who is there?… Teddy!… Teddy who?… Teddy (today) is the 4th of July!
“Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?”… “On the bottom!”
Dog Jokes: How did American colonists’ dogs protest against England?… The Boston Flea Party.
Ghost Jokes: What did the ghost wear on the 4th of July?… Red, White, and BOO!
Art Jokes: Did you hear about the artist in the Continental Army?… He was a Yankee doodler.
What do children treat their fathers to on the 4th of July?… Pops-icles.
Fireworks Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Omelette… Omelette who?… Omelette Daddy light the fireworks.
What’s red, white, blue, and green?… A patriotic pickle.
Flag Day Jokes: Best War of 1812 Book Never Written: The Star- Spangled Banner by Jose Kanusee.
Fireworks Jokes: What did one firecracker say to the other firecracker?…My pop’s bigger than your pop.
Pirate Jokes: What is a pirate’s favorite firework?… M-80.
Fireworks Jokes: Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe light some more fireworks?
Fireworks Jokes: What did the firecracker shout on the 4th of July?… Red, white, and boom!
Civil War Jokes: Why is Abraham Lincoln considered the least guilty American President?… Because he is in a cent.
South Dakota Jokes: When it comes to national monuments, less and less people are visiting Mount Rushmore… Sadly, I think they just take it for granite.
Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe join us for the 4th of July picnic?
Fireworks Jokes: Why should you research fireworks before you buy them?… To get the best bang for your buck!
Donut Jokes: American donuts… glazed, powdered and raspberry-filled; now how’s that for freedom of choice?… Homer Simpson
St. Patrick’s Day Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Irish… Irish who?… Irish you a Happy 4th of July!
George Washington Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… July?… July who?… July you will not be like George Washington.
Boston Jokes: Where would you look if you want to find T?… In the Boston harbor.
What do you get if you cross a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?… Yankee Poodle.
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Kisses… Kisses who?… Kisses your special day America.
What do you call an American who eats pastries on the 4th of July?… A pastry-otic.
Which colonists told the most jokes?… Punsylvanians!
Teacher: “True or False? The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia.”Student: “False. It was written in ink.”
What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware?… “Get in the boat, men!”
Did you hear about the angry firework?… He was so mad, he exploded!
What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say on Independence Day?… May the fourth be with you!
What did Yoda say on Independence Day?… May the fourth be with you!
Why did the British cross the Atlantic?… To get to the other side.
Where do birds stay over the Fourth of July?… Someplace cheep.
Besides the U.S.A., what other countries have July 4?… All of them.
Why is July a calendar’s favorite month?… Because it’s hot.
Why did the baker work on Independence Day?… He kneaded the dough.
The past, present and future went to see fireworks… It was tense.
How many skeletons were at the fireworks?… None. No body went.
Did you hear about the two boats that fell in love on the Fourth of July?… It was a total row-mance.
What’s the best way to put a baby firework to sleep?… You rocket.
What’s the best way to make a hotdog stand for Independence Day?… Take away its chair.
Did you hear about the man who’s afraid of Fourth of July picnics?… He’s a basketcase.
What do cows do on the Fourth of July?… Watch moo-vies.
Did you hear about the flower that was excited about the Fourth of July?… It wet its plants.
Why did the pony ask for a glass of water during the fireworks?… It was a little horse.
What’s the best thing to serve with cheese on the Fourth of July?… Firecrackers.
Did you hear about the car that took a nap on Independence Day?… It was tired.
My boss told me to have a good Fourth of July… So I didn’t go to work.
I was going to tell a sodium joke in honor of the Fourth of July… Then I thought, “Na.”
Why did the rabbit stay home on Independence Day?… It was having a bad hare day.
What causes dry skin after swimming on the Fourth of July?… A towel.
Did you hear about the kidnapping on Independence Day?… They woke him up.
Where do sheep go on the Fourth of July?… The Baaa-hamas.
What does everyone like to eat on the fourth of July?… It’s fire-crackers.
What do you get when you cross a duck and a rocket?… A firequacker.
Why did the watch go to the beach on the Fourth of July?… It needed to unwind.
What’s the best way to pass a test on the Fourth of July?… Study your spark notes.
How do bees travel on July Fourth?… They take the buzz.
Why was the broom late to the Fourth of July party?… It over-swept.
Did you hear about the sheep that fell down a hill while watching fireworks?… It was a lambslide.
Why can’t you skip out on the Fourth of July barbecue?… It would be a missed-steak.
Why doesn’t fire take a day off on the 4th of July?… Because fire works.
What do ghosts say on Independence Day?… “Three cheers for the red, white and boo!”
What’s a firecracker’s favorite snack?… Pop-corn!
What kind of witch goes to the beach on the Fourth of July?… A sandwich.
Where did George Washington keep his armies?… In his sleeves.
My daughter was born this morning, July 4th… It’s the day I lost my independence.
What should you give a dog for July 4th?… Ear muffs.
Why is Miley Cyrus so popular on the Fourth of July?… Because she always throws the best Party in the #USA!
What is a pyrotechnics expert’s favorite 4th of July treat?… Pop-sicles!
Knock!… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah who?… Noah good place to watch the town fireworks?
The fireworks display over the Statue of Liberty didn’t go off this year… The press is calling it a monument-al disaster!
Since 1776… America has been sipping on liber-tea.
I can’t believe people are letting fireworks off in October!… It’s scared the dog so badly he’s knocked the Christmas tree over.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Olive… Olive who?… Olive the 4th of July!
Which founding father is a dog’s favorite?… Bone Franklin.
Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?… Laughayette.
How is a healthy person like the United States?…They both have good constitutions!
Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?… Because it was too heavy to carry!
Did you hear about the fire cracker’s 4th of July party?… It was a BANG!
Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe march in the Independence Day parade?
Last year I blew all my fingers off on the 4th of July, and now my friends say they don’t trust me…. They say they can’t count on me.
What does the Liberty Bell stand for?… It certainly can’t sit down.
Independence Day is the day married men celebrate something they once had… Freedom
What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?…The Battle of Bonkers Hill.
Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in NY Harbor?…Because she can’t sit down.
Whenever the dogs decide to have a 4th of July party, they choose to go for a bone-fire.
Why were the first Pennsylvania settlers like ants?…Because they lived in colonies.
What rock group has four members who just stay still and never sing?… Mount Rushmore.
Where did George Washington get his hatchet?… From a chopping mall.
Little Tommy’s father gives him $50 to buy some fireworks for new year. When he returns, they try a couple but none of them worked. “Tommy, where did you get these fireworks? None of them work””Strange, when I was on my way back, I tried them all and they worked just fine” (Fireworks Jokes)
Great American Political Book Never Written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks.
The United States is a free country where every man can do as his wife pleases.
Did you hear about the boy who broke into a fireworks factory?… The police let him off!
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?… Hey! You stole my thunder.
May your 4th of July fireworks cause less personal injury than your 4th of July alcohol consumption.
An Immigration Book Never Written: “Coming to America” by Anita Greencard.
What’s red, white and blue?… Our flag, of course. And a sad candy cane!
What’s red, white, blue and green?… A seasick Uncle Sam.
What is Uncle Sam’s favorite snack?… Fire crackers
What’s red, white, black and blue?… Uncle Sam falling down the stairs.
What do John Cena and 4th of July fireworks in Alaska have in common?… Can’t see ’em.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a 4th of July knock-knock joke?
How is a flag like Santa Claus?… They both hang out at the pole!
Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Bacon… Bacon who?… Bacon a cake for America’s Birthday.
What happened when the Declaration of Independence was kept in the National Museum?… It became the decoration of Independence.
The 4th of July is the day that Americans celebrate their freedom… by sitting trapped in traffic jams for hours.
Where do American soldiers go to get a haircut?… They go to the Hair Force.
Knock knock… Who’s there?… Shelby… Shelby who?… Shelby glad to celebrate the 4th of July with fireworks!
Last 4th of July I remember watching the fireworks on the TV… In hindsight, that probably wasn’t the best place to light them.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Howard… Howard who?… Howard you like to go see the fireworks?
Why is America happy on July 4th?… Because it got a divorce from Britain.
What’s the Difference Between February 14th and July 4th?… There isn’t any, at least to me, because they’re both Independence Day.
Why do Americans celebrate Independence Day on the 4th of July?… Because it’s the day Will Smith saved the Earth from the aliens.
What did the tourists say when leaving the Statue of Liberty?… Keep it Torch!
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about the 4th of July?
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Ray… Ray who?… Raymember the founding father’s on Independence Day!
Teacher: What are the last words of “The Star-Spangled Banner”?… Student: “Play ball!”
What do you eat on July 5th?… Independence Day old Pizza.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Hop… Hop who?… Hoppy 4th of July!
The police have arrested two men for stealing batteries and fireworks…. They charged one and let the other one off!
Where is the Capital of Washington, D.C.?… Well there is one at the beginning and two at the end.
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke for the 4th of July?
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Zits… Zits who?… the 4th of July. Let’s celebrate!
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell knock-knock jokes?
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good 4th of July knock knock jokes?
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke for Independence Day
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke for July 4th?
While I was cleaning my house for the 4th of July party, I decided to put all my old dolls against the grill. I was just making a barbie-que.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Bacon… Bacon who?… Bacon cupcakes for Independence Day. .
The food we ate on the 4th of July picnic was not that good. The barbecue was bad, but the sausages were the wurst.
The only bakery I loved for the 4th of July was selling pastries with stars and stripes… Others were just un-pastry-otic.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good 4th of July knock-knock joke?
How was the at the Fourth of July picnic?… The hot dogs were bad, but the brats were the wurst!
Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… Justin!… Justin who?… Justin time for Independence Day!
What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?… A fire cracker (Funny Animal Jokes for Kids & Firecracker Jokes for Kids)
Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We promise to find the best 4th of July knock knock jokes! (4th of July Jokes)
What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?… The Fodder of Our Country! (Cow Jokes for Kids)
What can you use to light fireworks?… Well, fire works. (Fireworks Jokes)
Where did our first president keep his mice?… Mount Vermin!
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good 4th of July knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
What is read, white, blue, and black?… Uncle Same after a boxing match. (Boxing Jokes)
What’s red, white, blue, and green?… A patriotic turtle! (Turtle Jokes for Kids)
What do you call an AWESOME American drawing by a child?… A Yankee Doodle Dandy.
Why couldn’t George Washington fall asleep?… He could not lie.
What did one flag say to the other flag?…..Nothing. It just waved! (Flag Day Jokes for Kids)
What was Thomas Jefferson’s favorite dessert?…Monti jello.
I placed a small picture of America in a locket this 4th of July. Now, it is truly in-da-pendant.
During the 4th of July party for dogs, one dog said to another, “Dear hot dog, you are really so barbie-cute.
Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?… They’re both cracked. (Easter Jokes for Kids)
What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington?… One has a bill on his face; the other has his face on a bill! (Funny Animal Jokes for Kids)
What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country?… Beneduck Arnold.
An iPhone and a firework were arrested on the 4th of July. One was charged and the other was let off. (Police Jokes & New Year’s Eve Jokes)
What did the flag do when it lost its voice?… It just waved. (Flag Day Jokes)
Bullets and fireworks are the only things that do their job after they’ve been fired. (Labor Day Jokes)
What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1772?… The Boston Flea Party. (Dog Jokes for Kids)
What does a dragon eat for a snack?… Firecrackers. (Dragon Jokes)
What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?… Dino-mite! (Dinosaur Jokes & Fireworks Jokes)
What did the fuse say to the firecracker?… Let’s get together and “pop it like its hot.” (Fireworks Jokes)
A pyrotechnic expert friend of mine lost his job after the fireworks didn’t go off in the right sequence. (Labor Day Jokes)
What does the firecracker usually eat?… Pop-sicles.
What is the weight of freedom?… A washing-ton.
What happens when the firework sequence gets muddled?… They’re bang out of order! (Fireworks Jokes)
What do you call a duck who likes watching fireworks?… A firequacker. (Duck Jokes)
Turning grandpas ashes into fireworks… Call it going out with a bang.
Who loves singing the patriotic song that starts with, “Oh say, can you see?” An optometrist
Why did the duck say, “Bang”?… He was a fire-quacker. (Fireworks Jokes)
What is the name of the cat who said, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”?… Paw Revere.
What has four legs, a very shiny nose, and has fought for the England?… Rudolph the Redcoat Reindeer!
When the firecrackers heard that they had the freedom to do fireworks, they were relieved.
What did the fuse say to the firecracker?… Lets get together and “pop it like its hot.” (Fireworks Jokes)
What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?… A fire cracker. (American Revolutionary War Jokes / Bird Jokes / Fireworks Jokes)
What is large, cracked, and transports your luggage?… The Liberty Bellhop!
Why does Uncle Sam wear red, white and blue suspenders?… To hold up his pants. (4th of July Jokes)
What did the dog say when it saw the firework go off?… Nothing, dogs can’t talk! (Dog jokes & Fireworks Jokes)
What’s a firework’s favorite food?… Bangers and mash! (Fireworks Jokes)
I can’t believe people are letting fireworks off in October!… It’s scared the dog so badly he’s knocked the Christmas tree over. (October Jokes & Fireworks Jokes)
Police arrested two kids yesterday… one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other off. (Police Jokes & (ireworks Jokes)
Last year I took a visual design class……and our final exam was to design a fireworks display. I passed with flying colors. (College Jokes & Fireworks Jokes)
I’m throwing a 3rd of July hobbit party… It’s just a little get-together. (101 Lord of the Rings Jokes)
I hide photos on my computer of meI hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named Fireworks and vacuums so my dog won’t find them. (Dog Jokes & Fireworks Jokes)
A battery and a firework were arrested. One was charged, the other let off. (Police Jokes & Fireworks Jokes)
Why are fireworks so cool?… It’s cause they’re lit.
“My brother swallowed a box of firecrackers.” Friend: “Is he all right now?”…. “I don’t know. I haven’t heard the last report.”
I launched my own clothing line this week…. I knew I shouldn’t have lit the fireworks near the washing.
Did you hear about the fire cracker’s Christmas party?… It was a BANG!
Did you hear about the fire cracker’s Christmas Eve party?… It was a BANG!
Police arrested two kids yesterday one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other off.
What do you call a firework that’s not very impressive?… Ok boomer.
What do you get if you mix ducks with fireworks?… Firequackers.
What do you get if you cross a stegosaurus with a firework?… Dino-myte! (Dinosaur Jokes)
Why should you never watch fireworks on the TV?… Because it’s a dangerous place to light them!
The nerve of some people! Here it is, July 8th and idiots are outside shooting off fireworks. They almost burned down my Christmas decorations.
What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?… A fire cracker.
What did the fuse say to the firecracker?… Lets get together and “pop it like its hot.”
Did you hear about the fire cracker’s Christmas Eve party?… It was a BANG!
Last year I blew all my fingers off on the 4th of July, and now my friends say they don’t trust me…. They say they can’t count on me.
Did you hear about the fire cracker’s 3rd of July party?… It was a BANG!
I’m good at 3rd of July firework displays… I’ve got a flare for it.
Who has to work on the 3rd of July.… Fire works on the 3rd of July.
Did you hear about the fire cracker’s 3rd of July party?… It was a BANG!
Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah who?… Noah good place to watch the 3rd of July fireworks?
Hey @YorkshireTea @bostonteaship! #America: Hey #England, Happy Fourh of July! England: Where’s the T? America: Threw it in the #Boston harbor! #
Teacher: What are the last words of “The Star-Spangled Banner”?… Student: “Play ball”?
Hey @originalnathans! How was the at the #FourthofJuly #picnic?…The hot dogs were bad, but the brats were the wurst!
Bullets and #fireworks are the only things that do their job after they’ve been fired.
Hey @Duracell! The police have arrested two men for stealing batteries and fireworks…. They charged one and let the other one off!
Little Johnny’s father gives him $50 to buy some fireworks for new year. When he returns, they try a couple but none of them worked”Johnny, where did you get these fireworks? None of them work””Strange, when I was on my way back, I tried them all and they worked just fine”
Did you hear about the boy who broke into a fireworks factory?… The police let him off!
What did 1 #American flag say to the other flag?… Nothing. It just waved!
What is Uncle Sam’s favorite snack?… Fire crackers
What do you call an AWESOME #American drawing by a child?… A Yankee Doodle Dandy!
A #Immigration Book Never Written: “Coming to #America” by Anita Greencard.
What’s red, white & blue?… Our flag, of course. And a sad candy cane!
Great #American Political Book Never Written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks.
What’s the difference between a duck & George Washington? 1 has a bill on his face; the other has his face on a bill!
What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?…A fire cracker
What was Thomas Jefferson’s favorite dessert?…Monti jello
What’s red, white, blue and green?… A seasick Uncle Sam
Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?… They’re both cracked.
Why did the duck say, “Bang”?…He was a fire-quacker.
What do you call an #American revolutionary who draws cartoons?…Yankee Doodler.
What do you call a can that has the patriotic spirit on the 4th of July?… A Merry can!
What did Luke Skywalker say on July 4th?… May the Fourth Be With You!

Submit a Comment

Recent Posts

Archives