Constitution Jokes

by | Sep 17, 2020 | Dads, Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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  1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes about the Constitution.
  2. Say what you want about the 1st amendment…
  3. I got caught with a copy of the Constitution… I swear I read it for the articles.
  4. I’m not sure I can tell you word-for-word what the 2nd Amendment is… But I’ll take a shot at it!
  5. I went to the NRA and told them the 2nd Amendment is worthless… They were triggered.
  6. Maybe I should join Planet Fitness! I’ve been told I have a Supreme Court figure… No appeal.
  7. Is it a coincidence that the 18th amendment of the US Constitution outlawed alcohol while the 21st made it legal again?
  8. Constitution Jokes: When we had a school trip to an aviary on Independence Day, we noticed that the ducks were given a certain inalienable right. Turns out, they had a duck-leration of independence.
  9. Constitution Jokes: What did the Constitution say to the Bill of Rights?… “You complete me!”
  10. I was in the middle of a lake in a canoe with my girlfriend when suddenly the boat sprang a leak. We had to decide whether to try & get the boat back to shore or abandon ship. We had a real row v. wade debate that day.
  11. If the 2nd Amendment were a religion, what kind of chairs would their churches have?… Pew pews.
  12. I asked my history teacher what he’d do if the 1st Amendment was abolished… He couldn’t say.
  13. The Second Amendment: If you are against the 2nd amendment… you could get fired.
  14. The gyms must remain open… The Constitution guarantees freedom of the press!
  15. I can’t believe the high school & college girls can’t wear tank tops at school, it totally violates the Second Amendment… Don’t they have a right to bare arms?
  16. Why did the Constitution go to the gym?… It doesn’t need to go. It is already ironclad.
  17. With all the political debate raging in the U.S. right now, I thought it would be constructive to briefly review the first article in the Constitution. It’s “the.”
  18. Between the First Amendment’s freedom of assembly & the Eighth Amendment’s no cruel & unusual punishment, the US Constitution is basically saying “some assembly required, battery not included.”
  19. What did the Constitution say to the interrogator?… “I was framed!”
  20. How was George Washington able to be so healthy?… He had a strong constitution!
  21. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe teach me the Constitution?
  22. What’s the first amendment in Super Mario’s constitution?… Freedom of Peach.
  23. My wife and I hung a copy of the US Constitution in our house… We call it the decoration of independence.
  24. The 13th amendment makes it illegal to buy people as they aren’t property… Apparently, government officials don’t apply.
  25.  I was watching Mysteries at the Museum with my 8-year old daughter when they showed the quills used to write the Declaration of Independence, Constitution & Bill or Rights. My daughter said, “that makes them the founding feathers, dad.” I’ve never been so proud.
  26. Where was the Bill of Rights signed?… On the bottom!
  27. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me how an amendment is added to the Constitution?
  28. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me how many amendments there are to the U.S. Constitution? (27 amendments)
  29. What’s the first amendment in Georgia’s Constitution?… Freedom of Peach. (Georgia Jokes)
  30. Did you hear they passed a law banning ice cream?… Don’t worry, it was ruled un-cone-stitutional!
  31. “The Constitution says I have the right to bear arms,” I told the officer and he said, “Where’s the rest of the bear?”
  32. Why did Yogi like the second amendment?… Because he loved his bear arms.
  33. What did Thomas Jefferson do before signing the Declaration of Independence?… He did a pre-ramble.
  34. How does this make sense? “All men are created equal.” BUT “Slaves are worth 3/5ths of a human.
  35. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust a to learn about the Constitution by completing an ICivics activity.
  36. Gee I sure hope the rioters in DC don’t do anything to the IRS building at 1111 Constitution Ave. NW, Washington, DC 20224.
  37. What’s a bird’s favorite amendment?… Freedom of SCREECH!
  38. If George Washington, Ben Franklin, James Madison and Alexander Hamilton play D&D… do they roll for constitution?
  39. What do you call ducks that have been a part of U.S. History?… The Bill Of Rights!
  40. There’s an amendment in #America for people to wear T-shirts… I call it “The Right To Bare Arms.”
  41. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about the Constitution?
  42. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Constitution joke?
  43. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe teach me the the 1st 10 amendments to the Constitution?
  44. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the the 1st 10 amendments to the Constitution?
  45. My son asked why I climbed above the Constitution… I said that I wanted to be above the law.
  46. Similarities and differences between the Canadian and Chinese constitution… Both have freedom of speech but only one has freedom after speech
  47. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Constitution knock knock jokes.
  48. The constitution is biased… It has far more rights than it does lefts.
  49. Why did the hunter cut off the grizzly bear’s arms? Because according to the 2nd amendment…..the hunter has the right to bear arms.
  50. My wife’s dad just beat me in a race to read the entire constitution… I got quite far, but he’s farther in law.
  51. Okay, Jokes Over… Bring Back The Constitution.
  52. What are the first three words of the Constitution of the Vatican?… We the papal…
  53. Americans love frozen fruit so much, they wrote it into the constitution… The 1st amendment is the right to freeze peach.
  54. Maybe if we all emailed the Constitution to each other… …the NSA will finally read it.
  55. My daughter asked why I climbed above the Constitution… I said that I wanted to be above the law.
  56. What #dance was very popular in 1776?… Indepen-dance.
  57. Grandson: “Grampa, how do you know so much about the Constitution?” Grampa: “I was there when it was written.”
  58. What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?… A bald beagle!
  59. What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell?… Abraham Stinkin
  60. What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?…. Ape Lincoln!
  61. Why was Abraham Lincoln barn in a log cabin?… Because it was too cold to be born outside!
  62. Why did Abe Lincoln grow a beard?… He wanted to look like that guy on the five-dollar bill.
  63. Why did Lincoln wear a tall, black hat?… To keep his head warm!
  64. Why did they call Lincoln “Honest Abe”?… Because that’s what it said on all his campaign buttons.
  65. Was General Washington a handsome man?… Yes, he was George-eous!!
  66. Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?…. Because he couldn’t lie.
  67. Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed!
  68. How did George Washington speak to his army?…. In general terms.
  69. What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?… George Washingtoon!
  70. Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone?…They’re both on the (s)cent!
  71. What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger?…. Babe Lincoln
  72. What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?… Presidentures!
  73. The student I climbed above the Constitution… he wanted to be above the law.
  74. Teacher: “John, do you know Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?” Student: “No, Miss Frump. I thought he lived in Washington!”
  75. Someone should tell the Trump and his party that the Constitution isn’t a bible… You can’t pick & choose which parts you want to obey.
  76. Why couldn’t Hillary Clinton keep up her US presidential campaign?… She was let down by a weak Constitution.
  77. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust a to celebrate Constitution Day by completing an ICivics activity.
  78. How did George Washington survive being shot so many times in war and duels?… He put all of his points into Constitution.
  79. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust a to learn about the Constitution by completing an ICivics activity.
  80. Three guys are about to be executed. One’s a lawyer, one’s a priest, and one’s an engineer. They bring out the lawyer first, put him under the guillotine, and pull the lever, but the blade gets stuck halfway down. The lawyer goes, “Ah-ha! By pulling the lever, you have technically carried out the execution, which according to the sentence you can only do once. Trying again would constitute double jeopardy, which is unconstitutional. You have to let me go.” Intimidated by this, the executioner frees him. They bring out the priest next, put him under the guillotine. Again the blade gets stuck. The priest cries, “A miracle! God has reached down and spared my life. This is a sign that I am under His protection. You must free me at once, or incur the divine wrath.” The executioner, a simple but God-fearing man, lets him go. Finally they bring out the engineer. The executioner pulls the lever once again, and once again the blade stops halfway down. The engineer turns on his back and stares up at the guillotine, muttering under his breath. After a minute he calls the executioner over, points up at the mechanism, and says, “Well, there’s your problem right there…”
  81. Did you hear about the mass shooting at the circus?… A dyslexic clown got confused about the 2nd Amendment and armed the bears.
  82. A District Court judge, a Circuit Court judge, and a Supreme Court justice are sitting at a bar The District Court judge says, “I interpret the Constitution the way I read it.” The Circuit Court judge says, “I interpret the Constitution the way it’s written.” The Supreme Court justice says, “The Constitution isn’t anything, until I interpret it.”
  83. The Second Amendment of the Constitution affords me the right to wear short sleeve shirts to work… The right to bare arms.
  84. Why do the republicans defend the 2nd amendment so hard?… They need it to shoot themselves in the foot.
  85. Armenian Radio This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “We are told that the communism is already seen at the horizon.” Then, what is a horizon?” We’re answering: “Horizon is an imaginary line which moves away each time you approach it.” And another one for good measure. This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is the difference between the Constitutions of the USA and USSR?” Both guarantee freedom of speech.” We’re answering: “Yes, but the Constitution of the USA also guarantees freedom after the speech.”
  86. Why do January 6 deniers never last very long in Dungeons & Dragons campaigns?… They always fail their Constitution checks.
  87. Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day . . . Teach a man to phish and he’ll create a constitutional crisis using hacked emails and kompromat.
  88. Albert Einstein once said: “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”… He was probably talking about the 18th Amendment.
  89. Why did the teen wear a tanktop to school?… Because the constitution says you have the right to bear arms.
  90. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 1st amendment?
  91. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 2nd amendment?
  92. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 3rd amendment?
  93. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 4th amendment?
  94. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 5th amendment?
  95. What does the Vatican City’s constitution have in common with the constitution of the United States?… Both are by the papal, for the papal.
  96. My wife caught me looking at a copy of the Constitution yesterday. I said, “Honey, I’m only reading it for the Articles.”
  97. A brief primer on the articles of the U.S. Constitution… It’s “the.”
  98. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 6th amendment?
  99. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 7th amendment?
  100. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 8th amendment?
  101. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 9th amendment?
  102. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 10th amendment?
  103. The Second Amendment of the Constitution affords me the right to wear short sleeve shirts to work. The right to bare arms.
  104. Con is the opposite of pro, and con is bad. So if we want to turn the constitution into something better, then we should change it to…
  105. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 11th amendment?
  106. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 12th amendment?
  107. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 13th amendment?
  108. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 14th amendment?
  109. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 15th amendment?
  110. I’m glad I have my 2nd Amendment right to bear arms… Otherwise, I’d have been amputated at birth.
  111. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 16th amendment?
  112. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 17th amendment?
  113. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 18th amendment?
  114. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 19th amendment?
  115. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 20th amendment?
  116. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 21st amendment?
  117. Donald Trump tweeted the he wants to resign today. But it was a typo… He tweeted moments later he wants to re-sign the U.S Constitution with only his name on it.
  118. Why did so many people dislike the constitution?… It was too negative, they should have changed con to pro.
  119. A couple of policeman tried to arrest me for wearing a pair of humongous bear gloves… I told them to check the Second Amendment.
  120. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 22nd amendment?
  121. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 23rd amendment?
  122. Pamela Karlan during Impeachment Hearing: The Constitution says there can be no titles of nobility, so while the president Trump can name his son Barron, he can’t make him a baron.
  123. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 24th amendment?
  124. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 25th amendment?
  125. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 26th amendment?
  126. What is a Republican’s favorite Choose Your Own Adventure?… The U.S. Constitution.
  127. Many Saudi women are fans of the Second Amendment… They would like a right to bare arms.
  128. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain the 27th amendment?

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