Principal Jokes

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We love principals and this page is near and dear to our hearts. We will work to make this a great page for all the amazing principals in the world.

May Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best principal jokes.
Prom Jokes: Students going to prom: Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Dewey….Dewey who?… Dewey have to take a breathalizer at the prom?
Dad Jokes: Son: Dad. Tomorrow is a small get-together at school. Dad: Small gathering? How small is it? Son: Only me…you…and the principal.
Custodian Jokes: A school had a problem. Girls used lipstick in the bathroom & kissed the mirror. Maintenance removed the prints. This continued. The principal called the girls to the bathroom to demonstrate the cleaning. He dipped a squeegee in the toilet & cleaned the mirror. No More problem!
Custodian Jokes: A new principal was checking over his school on the first day. Passing the stockroom, he was startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for the arrival of students the next day. The school where he had been a Principal the previous year had used a check-out system only slightly less elaborate than that at Fort Knox. Cautiously, he asked the school’s long time Custodian, “Do you think it’s wise to keep the stock room unlocked and to let the teachers take things without requisitions?” The Custodian looked at him gravely… “We trust them with the children, don’t we?”
Mother’s Day Jokes: Mother: “Why are you home from school so early?” Son: “I was the only one who could answer a question.” Mother: “Oh, really? What was the question?” Son: “Who threw the eraser at the principal?”
Math Jokes: Why did average get sent to the principal’s office… He was being mean.
Boy: “Isn’t the principal a dummy!” Girl: “Say, do you know who I am?” Boy: “No.” Girl: “I’m the principal’s daughter.” Boy: “And do you know who I am?” Girl: “No,” Boy: “Thank goodness!” (Boy walks away.)
A principal notices a Post-It on a locker. “Jocks! This small change in diet can boost your physique FOREVER! Head to the gym to find out how!” Puzzled, he pulls it off and continues down the hall. Just a few lockers down, another catches his eye. “Hey goth girls! Tired of dark eyeliner that just runs all day? One simple trick will fix it! Find out in the gym!” “OK, I’ll bite,” the principal chuckles to himself. He walks to the gymnasium, pushes open the door…and immediately gets stuck. He looks down and sees the floor covered with super-glue. He looks around and sees several students in the same situation: cheerleaders, jocks and others desperately trying to free themselves. Outraged, he removes his shoes to unstick himself and races around the school until he finds a kid placing a note, this time aimed at math geeks, on yet another locker. He slaps the note out of his hand and shouts, “Quit posting clique-bait everywhere!”
Our school library is so quiet you can hear a pin drop and if it does; the pin will be sent to the principal’s office.
The phone rang in the principal’s office. Principal: Hello? Caller: Umm yes hi, my son won’t be coming to school today because he’s got the flu. Principal: OK and who may I ask is speaking? Caller: Umm my dad.
Where does the architecture school’s principal send bad students?… To the suspension bridge.
Teacher: Every day this week, I’ve had to send you to the principal. What do you have to say about this? Student: I’m relieved that today is the last day of school!
What is the difference between a principal and a train?… The principal says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew.”
Book Jokes: Any book with George Washington’s writing in it is worth thousands of dollars… Any book with my writing in it is worth two weeks of detention.
What faculty member was friends with all the students?… The princi-pal.
Teacher Jokes for May: Teachers give lessons. Principals give announcements.
Coffee Jokes: The principal told the teacher, “We need discipline.” The teacher replied, “We need coffee.”
Our school librarian is very strict. She’ll send you to the principal’s office for thinking too loudly.
Teachers give quizzes. Principals give speeches.
Easter Jokes: What do you call an Easter Bunny who gets kicked out of school?… Egg-spelled.
St. Patrick’s Day Jokes: “My principal is an Irishman.” ….”Oh, really?” …. “No, O’Reilly!”
I was in a food fight at school & accidentally hit the principal with a stale cafeteria bun… He had me charged; assault with a breadly weapon.
All will be revealed…. if you listen to the school morning announcements.
Why did the principal cross the playground?… To catch the student skipping class.
Teachers keep pencils sharp. Principals keep rules sharper.
March 1st: I asked my elementary principal when her birthday was and she said March 1st… I have been marching for half an hour now, and she still hasn’t told me.
What do you call a principal without students?… Happy!
Top U.S. Principals: What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?…. “I can’t control my pupils!”
Being sent to the Principal’s office is no joke… unless it is because of these funny jokes about principals!
What did the inflatable principal say to the inflatable student who bought a pin to the inflatable school?… Not only have you let me down, you’ve also let the school down but, above all, you’ve let yourself down.
What did the cheerleader say when the principal gave her detention?… Bring It On.
What did the picture in the principal’s office say to the wall?… I was framed!
Dog Jokes: Where do you put smart hot dogs?….On honor rolls!
Why did the student bring a map to the principal’s office?… To find a way out!
High School Jokes: When is a high school theater clumsy?… When the curtain falls.
Why did the clock go to the principal’s office?… For tocking too much!
Why did the school principal keep a whistle in his pocket?… In case he needed to blow off some steam!
Why did the educator leave the teaching profession?… Because he tried being a teacher, but soon lost his principal, faculties, and class.
How do principals stay cool during a high school athletic contest?…They sit near the fans!
What do you call a principal without teachers?… Happy!
What do you do if a principal rolls her eyes at you?…. Pick them up and roll them back to her!
Why did the principal always carry a mirror with him?… So he could reflect on his decisions!
Did students laugh when the principal fell on the ice?… No, but the ice cracked up.
What did one plate say to the other plate in the school cafeteria?… Lunch (dinner, or breakfast) is on me!
What’s the difference between a sauna and the principal’s office?… It’s less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving a sauna.
Why did the little rectangle get sent to the principal’s office?… He said a square word.
What do you call a principal who forgets his teachers’ names?… Absent-minded.
What did one classroom wall say to the other?… Hey, let’s meet in the corner.
Why are fish so smart?… They travel in schools!
Why did the school principal always have a compass in their pocket?… Because they wanted to make sure the school was always headed in the right direction!
What did the school principal say to the student who kept telling jokes in class?… I’m giving you a pun-ishment!
A son comes home from school and hugs his mother crying He says: I don’t want to go back to school and I’ll give you two reasons why. The mother says: Ok, what are your reasons? Son: All the kids hate me and all the teachers hate me. Mother: You’re going to go back to school, and I’ll give you one reason why. Son: Yeah? Mother: You’re the Principal.
High School Graduation Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you take the high school diploma, shake the principal’s hand.
Why was Harry Potter sent to the principal’s office?… Because he was cursing in class!
Jokes for the 1st Day Of School: ”One morning a mother was trying to wake up her son. “Wake up now! It’s the first day of school, You don’t want to be late.” “I don’t want to go to school,” the son replied. His mother said, “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to school.” “Okay. One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.” “Not good enough,” the mother replied.“Fine,” the son said. “Then you give me two good reasons why I SHOULD go to school.” “One, you’re 50 years old. Two, you’re the principal of the school.”
Principal: Sorry to call you in, but your son set the school on fire. Parents: Arson? Principal: Yes, your son.
What happened when the principal tied everyones laces together?… They went on a class trip.
Why did the tree sent to the principal?… For being knotty!
The principal once gave the teacher a mirror. “To reflect on your teaching,” he said.
My principal wasn’t going to celebrate Leap Day… But he decided to jump on the band wagon.
The interim principal said he was acting… but nobody gave him an award.
Friday Jokes: Teacher: I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week. What do you have to say for yourself? Student: I’m glad it’s the Friday!
The student wanted cupcakes, but the principal only served detention.
When the principal cooks, the soup is always “Soup-erintendent” level.
The principal’s motto?… “No skipping class, only hop to success.”
Teachers bring homework, principals bring pressure.
Teachers mark tests, principals mark punishments.
Why did the teacher call the principal “princi-pal”?… Because he wanted a buddy at work.
Teachers plant seeds, principals control the garden.
What did the principal say about the gum stuck under desks?… “That’s a sticky situation.”
Why did the recycling bin get sent to the principal’s office?… It was caught throwing paper planes.
Movie Jokes: What happened when the naughty Minion got sent to the principal’s office?… He went bananas!
Principal: “I’ve just had a rock thrown through my window, are you responsible?” Student: “No, I’m irresponsible. That’s why I threw it.”
Badminton Jokes: Where did badminton go?… To the principal’s office he was a bad!
Jokes for the Last Day of School: Why did the echo get detention on the last day of school?… It kept answering back!
I hate school and got caught skipping the other day… My principal said, “Walk normal next time.”
Custodian Jokes: Why did the principal marry the custodian?… Because he swept her off her feet!
Knock Knock…. Who’s there?…. Irish!… Irish Who?…. Irish you were a better principal.
Do leprechauns make good middle school principals?…. No way! They’re very short-tempered!
Do #leprechauns make good middle school secretaries? …. Sure, they’re great at shorthand!
A group of vaping college students is called a smog…. A group of vaping middle school students is called down to the principal’s office.
Principal Jokes:
Are people jealous of the Irish principals?… Sure, they’re green with envy!
My principal doesn’t allow guns in school… …So I had to put on a long sleeve shirt.
Who is a teacher’s best friend at school?… The princi-pal!
I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my principal, my faculties, & my class.
Why did the boy look at each & every one of the animal crackers before eating them.?… Because his mother told him not to eat them if the “seal” was broken.
What is the most popular summer dessert for principals in Georgia?… Peach pi.
Which month do principals complain the least?… February because it has fewer days.
What faculty member was friends with all the seniors?… The princi-pal.
Which friend do #students never see over #summer #vacation?… Their princi-PAL.
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about principals?
Why are fish so smart?… They #travel in schools!
Principal: I’ve had to see you every day this week. What do you have to say for yourself? Student: I’m glad it’s the last day of school!
What do get when you cross one middle school principal with a high school principal?… You should not do that; principals don’t like to be crossed, ever!
What can you say about people who drop out of school?… They have no principals or class.
Why did the principal panic during the teacher’s strike?… Because he was losing control of his faculties.
Who is the students’ best friend at school?… The princi-pal!
What did the principal say to the student after he trashed the boys’ bathroom?… “URINALot of trouble!”
Principal: We will only have a half-day of school staff meetings this morning… Teachers: Yay!!!! Principal: Then we will have the other half this afternoon.
Why did the principal bring clam chowder to school?… For the Soup-erintendent.
What did the school principal say to the student who brought a cat to school?… “You’ve got to be kitten me, right?”
Have you heard the joke about the school sidewalk? … It’ll crack you up!
Why did the school principal bring a broom to the school dance?… Because they wanted to sweep everyone off their feet!
Why did the school principal enroll in a cooking class?… Because they wanted to learn how to always stay cool under pressure!
Why did the school principal bring a flashlight to the classroom?… Because they wanted to illuminate the path to success!
Where does a principal put smart hot dogs?… On honor rolls!
What did the school principal say to the student who was caught skipping class?… You really need to hop to it and get back to learning!
Why did the school principal always carry a pencil sharpener?… Because they believed in staying sharp at all times!
What did the school principal say to the student who broke the window?… You’ve really shattered my expectations!
Why did the principal go to the bakery?… Because he wanted to meet the “roll” models!
Why did the principal always have an umbrella with them?… Because they knew how to weather any storm in the school!
Why did the school principal become a magician?… Because he wanted to make problems disappear!
Principal: How can we keep the school clean? Student: By staying at home.
Why did the chicken go to the principal’s office?… It used fowl language!
What did one principal’s office wall say to the other?… Hey, let’s meet in the corner.
Why did the principal marry the janitor?… Because he swept her off her feet!
Thanksgiving Jokes: Why did the turkey get suspended?… For using fowl language.
Thanksgiving Jokes: Why did the Turkey get sent to the principal’s office?… For using fowl language.
Why was the hamburger bun sent to the principal’s office?… He was being a bad roll model.
Why are principals fond of fish?… Because they travel in schools!
The visiting church school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class who broke down the walls of Jericho. Little Johnny replies that he does not know, but it definitely is not him. The supervisor, taken aback by this lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident. The principal replies that he knows little Johnny as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them, if little Johnny said that he did not do it, he as principal is satisfied that it is the truth. Even more appalled the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole story. After listening he replies: “I cannot see why you are making such a big issue out of this; we will get three quotations and fix the damned wall.” 39. In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, “Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests.” Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it. “Well, said Mr. Johnson, I was looking over your test and the question was, ‘Who was our first president?’, and the little girl that sits next to you, Mary, put ‘George Washington,’ and so did you.” “So, everyone knows that he was the first president.” “Well, just wait a minute,” said Mr. Johnson. “The next question was, ‘Who freed the slaves?’ Mary put Abraham Lincoln and so did you.” “Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that,” said Johnny. “Wait, wait,” said Mr. Johnson. “The next question was, ‘Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase?’ Mary put ‘I don’t know,’ and you put, ‘Me neither’.”
What did the school principal say to the student who brought a cat to school?… “You’ve got to be kitten me, right?”
Why did the school principal bring a ruler to the dance?… Because they wanted to measure the moves of the students!
Why did the principal go to the bakery?… Because he wanted to meet the “roll” models!
What did the school principal say to the student who was caught skipping class?… “You really need to hop to it and get back to learning!”
What did the school principal say to the student who broke the window?… “You’ve really shattered my expectations!”
Why was the school principal always carrying a bat?… Because he believed in striking a balance between discipline and fun!
What did the principal say to the loaf of bread?… You’re toast!
Why did the school principal join the circus?… Because they wanted to be the “ring leader” of education!
Why did the school principal bring a ladder to the faculty meeting?… Because they wanted to reach new heights in education!
Why did the principal bring a giant pencil to school?… Because they wanted to make a big point!
Why did the principal bring a dictionary to the school dance?… Because they wanted to make sure everyone was on the right page!
What did the school principal say to the absent-minded teacher?… “You’re not just teaching, you’re missing the point!”
Why did the school principal carry a thermometer all the time?… Because they wanted to be the coolest principal in town!
Why did the school principal always carry a ruler?… To measure up to the high standards they set for their school!
Why did the school principal always carry a pencil behind his ear?… In case he needed to draw attention to something important!
Why did the principal eat his homework?… Because he wanted to show the students that it was easy to digest information!
Why did the principal hire a circus performer?… They wanted someone who could juggle all the different responsibilities!
Why was the math teacher always afraid of the school principal?… Because he could never figure him out!
Why did the principal bring a ladder to the school?… Because he heard the students were really high achievers!
What did the school principal say to the math teacher?… “You’re always counting on me!”
Why did the principal fire the cross-eyed teacher?… Because she couldn’t control her pupils?
What happened when the principal tied everyones laces together?… They went on a class trip. Principal: How can we keep the school clean? Student: By staying at home.
What did the picture in the principals office say?.. I was framed.
What’s the difference between a Kia and the principal’s office? It’s less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal’s office.
One day there was a kid who was asked to recite the first four letters of the alphabet by his teacher. So he went home and asked his brother the first letter. He said “SHUT UP! I’M ON THE PHONE!” Then he asked his Mom the second letter. She said “Yes!” Then he asked his Dad the third letter. He said “Kentucky Fried Chicken!!!” Then he asked his cousin the fourth and final letter. “In a big fat car! In a big fat car! In a big fat car! So he went to school. The teacher asked him, “Tell me the first four letters in the alphabet.” So he said “SHUT UP! I’M ON THE PHONE!” ” Young man, do I need to take you to the principal? “Yes!” So he went to the principal. The principal said. “Who do you think you are?!” “Kentucky Fried Chicken!!!” “And, how are you getting away with this?!” “In a big fat car! In a big fat car!”
My principal tried stand-up comedy at the assembly. The joke fell flat like a broken pencil sharpener.

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