Ocean Jokes

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June Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes about oceans.
Shark Jokes: Summer PSA: A friendly reminder: Sharks live in the ocean. YEAR-ROUND!
Rhode Island Jokes: What would be a great location for the World Oceans Day Concert?… Rhode Island. It is the Ocean State.
Navy Jokes: What is the only question on the entrance exam to the U.S. Navy?… “Oh say, can you sea?”
Pirate Jokes: What is a pirate’s favorite letter?…. Most people think it’s the ‘R’rrrr, but really it’s the ‘C’ they love.
Doctor Jokes: The worst thing about sea sickness?… It comes in waves!
Summer Jokes: Summer…. Happiness comes in waves.
U2 Jokes: Every Breaking Wave by U2… A must include song for any World Ocean Day playlist.
American Revolution Jokes: Why did the British cross the Atlantic in the 1770s?… To get to the other tide!
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?… Sanka.
Homecoming Jokes: I went to an ocean themed homecoming dance… It was a whale of a time.
Camping Jokes: The seaside camping trip was so boring that one day the tide went out and never came back.
Barber Jokes: What kind of hair do oceans have?… Wavy!
Navy Jokes: What grades do you need to join the Navy?… 7 C’s.
Shrimp Jokes: Recent studies have shown that several species of shrimp have randomly died while migrating to other seas or oceans… I guess they were accident prawn.
Whale Jokes: What did the ocean say to students on the Whale Watching field trip?…Nothing. He waved.
One day the amount of plastic in the ocean will be irreversible… That will be the last straw.
What is the difference between a dog & a marine biologist?… One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
Did you hear the joke about the ocean?…Nevermind, its too deep for you.
Music Jokes: Who would be a great artist for a World Ocean Day concert?… Billy Ocean.
Navy Jokes: Why did the Navy ship blush?… Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
Navy Jokes: What’s a Navy cook’s favorite spice?… Sea-soning!
Shrimp Jokes: Why did the shrimp cross the ocean?… To get to the other tide!
American Revolution Jokes: Why did the colonists go to the ocean?… To sea freedom.
How does the ocean floor stay up-to-date on the news?…. By following current events, of course.
Beach Boys Jokes: What is the snack the Beach Boys bring to the beach?… Salt Water Taffy.
Who keeps the oceans clean?… Mermaids.
Ocean walks into a bar. Bartender says “why so blue?”
How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
Can you call the ocean something else?… Shore.
How does the ocean pay its water bill?… With sand dollars!
A lobster reported a crime to the police… They asked him to be more Pacific.
June Jokes for Teachers: Why did the sailor go to school?… To improve his sea-minus to a sea-plus!
Lobster Pun: The lobster said he was going to dive into the pot of boiling water, and everybody thought he was cray-sea.
Why did the teacher dive into the ocean?… She wanted to test the water!
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?… Drop it a line!
What did the magician say to the fisherman?… Pick a cod, any cod.
Why is the sea so strong?… Because it has a lot of mussels!
What’s a sailor’s favorite type of movie?… A sea-quel!
How do you cut a wave in half?… Use a sea saw.
What are the only notes Christopher Columbus can sing?… High C’s
Where does an octopus sleep?… On the seabed!
What kind of candy would a drowning person like to have?… A lifesaver!
What has no beginning, end or middle & touches every continent?… The Ocean.
What is Gollum’s favorite bird?… A smea-gull.
The Cape Cod seaside summer camp we visited last summer was so boring that one day the tide went out and never came back.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?… All the sailors were marooned.
What would you find on a haunted beach?… A sand-witch!
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on!
What did the fish get on his math test?… A sea plus.
What does the ocean use to clean its clothes?… Tide!
Why do officers love the ocean?… It’s their wave of life.
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about oceans?
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good ocean knock-knock joke?
What did Cinderella wear when she went swimming in the ocean?… Glass flippers.
A BOOK NEVER WRITTEN: “A Marine Biologist’s Office” by D.O. Shun.
Do you know where fishes work?… The Offish!
What does the ocean use to clean its clothes?… Tide!
What does the ocean’s favorite college football team?… Either Alabama #RollTide or the Tulane Green Wave.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?… Because otherwise, they’d fall into the boat!
Why did the manta ray want to talk to the diver?… He wanted to have a manta-man conversation.
How do you know if someone is a PADI Instructor?… Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
Why did the scuba diver bring a mop?… To clean up the sea floor!
Why should the scuba diver get the job over the other candidate?… Because they can work under pressure!
What do you call a scuba diving cow?… A “moo-rine” biologist!
Why don’t skeletons get their PADI Deep Diver Speciality certification?… They don’t have the guts!
Why did the scuba diver cross the ocean?… To get to the other tide!
How do divers communicate?… They use speech bubbles!
Why don’t scuba divers get good grades at school?… Because they are always below C level.
What did the ocean say to the scuba diver?… Nothing, it just waved.
Where’s the most dangerous place for divers?… Anemone territory.
What dive sites cause the most fear in divers?… Nervous wrecks.
What is a scuba diver’s favorite instrument?… The bass.
What do you call a scuba diver who knows about marine life?… An o-fish-ionado.
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
What did the letter B say in the summertime?… “I do love to be beside the C.”
My favorite ocean?… Let’s just say I don’t have a Pacific favorite.
Did you hear about her prom-ocean?… Sorry, can’t work today.
I’m a little tide down at the moment.
There’s no-fin better than a beach.
You don’t like the sea?… Well, beach to their own.
Buoy oh buoy, what a wonderful day!
Swim in that?… Are you squidding me?
I’ve got a remedy for your seasickness; it’s called a pocean!
What is a scuba diver’s favorite game?… Hide and sea-k.
Why didn’t the lobster share its food?… It was too shell-fish.
How does seaweed answer the telephone?… “Hello, how can I kelp you?”
Which sea bird is the most optimistic?… A peli-can.
Why did the shrimp have to leave the party?… Because it was krilling the vibe.
Where do clams go to borrow money?… The prawn broker.
I can never get my boat to stay put!… I need anchor management.
What did the whale say when it scored a lucky goal?… “That was a fluke.”
Were those catfish?… Or just purr-maids?
Why can’t fish learn the alphabet?… Because they spend forever at C.
Where do whales go when they’re bankrupt?… To the loan shark.
What did the shark say to the whale?… “What are you blubbering about?”
What is a blue whale’s favorite James Bond movie?… License to Krill.
Why do fish swim in schools?… Because they can’t walk.
Why are fish so easy to weigh?… Because they have their own scales.
Where do fish keep their money?… In a riverbank.
What do you call a fish with no eye?… A f-sh.
What did the shark plead in the murder case?… Not gill-ty.
Who is the most famous shark writer?… William Sharkspeare.
What do you call a shark in a bad mood?… Grumpy Gills!
Why are sharks hard to trust?… They tell great white lies.
Where would a shark go on holiday in Europe?… Finland, of course.
Who delivers presents to sharks on Christmas?… Santa-Jaws!
What is a shark’s favorite sandwich?… Peanut butter and jellyfish.
What kind of sharks do you find at a construction site?… Hammerheads!
What did one shark say to the other?… “There’s some-fin special about you!”
What did the mother shark say to its daughter?… “Don’t use that sharkastic tone with me!”
What do a shark and a computer have in common?… They both have mega-bites.
Why do sharks swim in saltwater?… Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Why don’t sharks like eating clownfish?… They taste funny.
What is a shark’s favorite hobby?… Anything they can sink their teeth into.
What’s a shark’s favorite fast food order?… A quarter flounder and French fries.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters only to dolphins?… It only has 1 customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?… Pier pressure.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good ocean knock knock jokes?
Two wind turbines sit in the ocean, one turns to the other and says “What music do you listen to? I like pop myself.” The other turbine says “I’m a massive heavy metal fan!”
Where do goldfish go on vacation?… Around the globe!
4th of July Jokes: What’s a red, white, and blue jellyfish’s favorite holiday?… Independence Day, of course—because it’s jelly for freedom!
What crashes onto the shore on very small beaches?…. Micro-waves
What did one tide pool say to the other tide pool?… Show me your mussels.
Why did the lobster blush?… It saw the ocean’s bottom.
What’s the most romantic ship?… Courtship.
Do you know why they use knots instead of miles in the ocean?… Because they’ve got to keep the ocean tide.
Why did the physicist throw the stop sign into the ocean?… He was studying sign waves.
Did you hear the results of the game between the beach and the ocean?… It’s tide.
What did the beach say to the wave?… “Long tide, no sea.”
How is the student’s grade like going on vacation?… It was at C level.
I went to an ocean themed graduation party… It was a whale of a time.
How much trash do you have to throw in the ocean to make a new country?… None, just some tea!
What does a hockey game and an airboat have in common?… Loud fans.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls?… Because they’re shellfish!
What kind of candy would a drowning person like to have?… A lifesaver!
Where do goldfish go on vacation?… Around the globe!
What does the ocean use to clean its clothes?… Tide
Why did the lobster blush?… It saw the ocean’s bottom.
What kind of horse is good at swimming?… A seahorse!
I went to an ocean graduation themed party… It was a whale of a time.
What do you call an ocean full of tacos?… Flotilla.
What did the fisherman say when his fishing line got tangled?… Something a-piers to be wrong…
Why did the whale cross the road?… To get to the other tide!
How did the ocean say hello to the sun after the eclipse?… It waved.
What did the ship say when he was accused of speeding through the port?… I did knot.
Which is the thirstiest ocean on the planet?… The Gulp of Mexico.
Why did the fish blush?… Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
A BOOK NEVER WRITTEN: “Different Types of Lockers” by Dave E. Jones.
A BOOK NEVER WRITTEN: “A Perfect Day for Sailing” by Wynn Dee.
“Pass me the shellfish,” he said crabbily.
How did the ocean say hello to the sun?… It waved
Why are pirates called pirates?… Just because they arrrrr!
What do mussels do on their birthdays?…They shell-ebrate!
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?.. Aye matey!
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?… Cliff!
What is a pirate’s favourite letter?… ARR!
Did you hear about the martial artists who fought on the beach?… They faced off in sand-to-sand combat.
Why are octopuses good in a war?… They’re well armed!
Watermelon Jokes: What do the Elves call their friends living by the sea?… Watermellons.
Where do fish sleep?… On the sea bed!
What’s the best thing to give a seasick monster?… Plenty of room!
How to pirates get to the airport?… They rent a cARRR!
Why are pirates great singers?… They hit the high Cs!
What do sea monsters eat?… Fish and ships!
What do you do with a sick boat?…. Bring it to the dock!
Boat puns are *ferry* funny!
What did the ocean say to the pirate?… Nothing—it just waved!
There arrrr plenty more funny pirate jokes where that came from!
Why did the crab cross the beach?… To get to the other tide!
What did the sand say when the tide came back in?… Long time, no sea!
Know why they use knots instead of miles in the ocean?… Because they’ve got to keep the ocean tide.
Which fish is the most famous in the ocean?… The star fish!
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?… They spend years at C!
Where does a killer whale go for braces?… The orca-dontist.
Navy Jokes: Why did the sailor keep a starfish as a pet?… For some stellar company.
What is the strongest creature in the ocean?… A mussel!
Which bus crossed the Atlantic Ocean?… Christopher ColumBUS.
Why did the algae & the fungus get married?… They took a lichen to each other (although, unfortunately, their marriage is now on the rocks)
What is a cetacean’s favorite TV show?… Whale of fortune.
What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?… It gets wet.
What happens when you throw a red rock in the Black Sea?… It sinks to the bottom.
What did one wave say to the other wave?… Nothing. It just waved.
What puts the white lines on the ocean?… An ocean liner.
Why don’t oysters give to charity?… Because they’re shellfish!
Why did the lobster blush?… Because the sea weed.
Where do crabs & lobsters catch their trains?… Kings Crustacean.
What does a #mermaid wear to maths lessons?… An algae-bra.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?… The prawn broker.
What is a blue whale’s favorite James Bond Film?… Licence to Krill.
Where does seaweed look for a job?… In the ‘Kelp-wanted’ ads.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?… A nervous wreck.
A salmon walks into a vegetarian restaurant and the waiter says, “Sorry, we don’t serve fish.”
What does seaweed say when it’s stuck at the bottom of the sea?… “Kelp! Kelp!”
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?… Because one good tern always deserves another.
Where do you calculate the mass of a cetacean?… At a Whale-Weigh Station.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?… The Codfather.
What happened to the shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?… It got lockjaw.
What did the shark plead in the murder case?… Not gill-ty.
Algae A (to Algae B): “How are things?”Algae B: “Good thanks; business is blooming”
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?…Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?… Because they dropped out of school.
Why did the seawater keep walking around in circles?… Because it was gyred.
What did one flat-fish parasite say to the other at the end of their date?… “Your plaice or mine?”
How can you amplify a pirate’s DNA?… PC Arghhh.
What did the Bering Sea say to the coast of Alaska?… Nothing, it waved!
What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean?… Nothing, it just waved!
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?… All the sailors were marooned.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?… Because one good tern always deserves another.

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