Lobster Jokes

by | Sep 20, 2025 | Latest News

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  1. Why don’t lobsters share?… They’re shellfish.
  2. Lobster Pun: The lobster said it’d be hard for him to retire… as he was tide to his company. 
  3. Why did the lobster join the Navy?… To become a navy-claw officer!
  4. Divorce Jokes: Why did the lobster and the shrimp get a divorce?… They were two shellfish.
  5. What do you call a lobster with a nutcracker?… A castration crustacean.
  6. Waiter, waiter, this lobster’s only got one claw. It must have been in a fight, sir. Then bring me the winner.
  7. How does a lobster answer the phone?… Shello?
  8. Lobster Pun: Since the crustacean was late for work every day… She lobster job.
  9. What is a Lobster’s favorite shot in tennis?… The “lob” of course! (101 Sports Jokes)
  10. If you cross a telephone and a lobster what will you get?… Snappy talk.
  11. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best lobster
  12. What do you call a lobster that’s afraid of tight spaces?… Claw-strophobic.
  13. Why did the lobsterman bring crayons to the Lobsterfest?… So he could draw butter. 
  14. Today I stopped at this Maine roadside stand that said “Shrimp Tails: $2”. So I paid my $2 & the guy said, “Once upon a time there was this lobster… 
  15. I was at a Legal Seafoods last night and I asked the waiter, “How do you prepare the lobster?” He said, “We just tell him the truth, man. This is the end of the line.” 
  16. Weren’t you a professional lobster fisherman?… Yes, but it seems that living on my net income was harder than I thought beforehand. 
  17. What passengers were happy that the tTitanic sank?… The lobsters in the kitchen. 
  18. In which part of the bread factory do lobsters work?… The crust station. 
  19. Maine: We’re Really Cold… But We Have Cheap Lobster.  
  20. Why don’t lobsters share?… They’re shellfish.  
  21. What’s the difference between a Greyhound terminal in New Jersey and a voluptuous Maine lobster?… One’s a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean.  
  22. Why did the Maine lobster blush?… It saw the ocean’s bottom. 
  23. What happened when a Maine fisherman was late to work?… She lobster job! 
  24. What did the lobster fisherman say when he found his crate empty on the wharf?… “There a-piers to be a problem.” 
  25. There are no hipster #lobsters… In a Maine stream!
  26. Why did the lobster take such a long time to learn just the basics of the English alphabet? Probably because he spent a lot of years at C. 
  27. Have you heard about the #lobster who started going to the gym?… It pulled a mussel.
  28. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about lobsters? 
  29. What is a Lobster’s favorite shot in tennis?… The “lob” of course! 
  30. I was a professional lobsterman… but I couldn’t live on my net #ncome. 
  31. What did the confused lobster ask when he didn’t understand?… Can you please be a little more #pacific? 
  32. What #music does a lobster listen to?… Bisque-o. 
  33. Why are lobsters bad at relationships?… Too shellfish.  
  34. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good lobster knock-knock joke? 
  35. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good lobster knock knock jokes?
  36. Why is a lobster a bad spouse?… Too shellfish.  
  37. What is the perfect name for a pet lobster?… Clawde. 
  38. What do #lobsters drink in the morning?… Clawfee. 
  39. Where does a lobster keep its clothes?… In the clawset. 
  40. Did you hear about the fight at Red Lobster?… Four fish were battered! 
  41. Hey @GreyhoundBus! Where do #crabs and #lobsters park their public transport vehicles?… At the Bustacean.  #NationalLobsterDay
  42. What did the husband lobster say to his wife when they were arguing?… I don’t think I sea it quite that way.”  #NationalLobsterDay #lobsters #oceans #marriage
  43. Why is the lobster wearing seashells?… She was shore they were current-ly trending.  #NationalLobsterDay #lobsters #oceans #fashion
  44. Why did the little lobster start wearing fancy clothes to the posh pier school? She did it out of pier pressure.  #NationalLobsterDay #lobsters #oceans #fashion #PeerPressure
  45. What did the ocean say to the lobster when they saw each other?… Nothing, it just waved.  #NationalLobsterDay #lobsters #oceans 
  46. Top 10 #Police #jokes! http://www.mytowntutors.com/police-jokes-for-kids/
  47. Who brings presents to lobsters?… #Santa Claws!   #NationalLobsterDay #Summer #lobsters #ChristmasCountdown
  48. .If you bring lobster to class, you better share… Or else it would be shellfish.  #NationalLobsterDay #Summer #lobsters
  49. Have you heard about the lobster that rode a sea mammal into battle?… He did it on porpoise.  #NationalLobsterDay #Summer #lobsters
  50. Waiter, this lobster’s only got 1 claw. It must have been in a fight, sir. Then bring me the winner.   @LobstertruckDC #NationalLobsterDay
  51. If you cross a telephone and a lobster what will you get?… Snappy talk. #NationalLobsterDay
  52. Why did the lobsters like working at the Red Lobster? Probably because it gets them out of their shells. 
  53. Why did the lobster eat his meal at such an early time? Because the food at the restaurant was served based on a first-come, first surfed basis. 
  54. Did you hear about the lobster that did not know he won an award at the school festival? He did, but he just didn’t realize his tidal. 
  55. What is the first thing that parent lobsters teach their children lobsters? It’s that they should not allow a turtle stranger in their homes or premises. 
  56. Have you heard about the lobster that ran out into the cold weather without its shell? All the other lobsters thought that he was cray-sea. 
  57. Did you know that all lobsters are very sail-ective eaters? They only go for s-pacific foods. 
  58. What did the lobster suggest when none of his friends could decide what they wanted to eat? He stepped up and told them, “Water boat having some tofu curry for dinner.” 
  59. What would you call a marine crustacean who’s the gangster of the sea? The mobster lobster.
  60. What do you call a lobster who won’t share with others? Shellfish! 
  61. Where do lobsters and crabs go when they have to catch their trains? They all go to King’s Crustation.
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  63. Waiter, waiter, this lobster’s only got one claw. It must have been in a fight, sir. Then bring me the winner.
  64. If you cross a telephone and a lobster what will you get?… Snappy talk.