Boston Marathon Jokes

by | Apr 13, 2016 | Education, Find a tutor, Latest News, Massachusetts, Moms, Parents, tutoring

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Google Search “Boston Marathon Jokes”

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Boston Marathon jokes.
  2. Patriots Day Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you believe in 2026 it was the 130th Boston Marathon.
  3. Do you want to hear a joke about the Boston Marathon?…. Never mind… I’ll never finish it.
  4. Boston Celtics Jokes: The #1 Day in Boston Sports… Marathon Monday… The Red Sox at Fenway… The Celtics and Bruins in the playoffs… and the oldest marathon with the top runners in the world!
  5. Music Jokes: 2026 Boston Marathon = A Meatloaf Marathon: “Two out of three ain’t bad.” A Celtics playoff win over the 76ers. A Red Sox win over the Detroit Tigers. A Bruins loss to the Sabres.
  6. 2026 Boston Marathon: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Kenya… Kenya who?… Kenya believe both the men’s (John Korir, Kenya) and women’s winner (Sharon Lokedi of Kenya) are back-to-back champions?
  7. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me about the “Scream Tunnel” at the Boston Marathon?
  8. New England Jokes: Although the world is more accepting, I refuse to accept some races… That Boston Marathon is awful, with Heartbreak Hill and the New England weather.
  9. Warning: Police are on the lookout for an overweight man who did not pay his entrance fee to the Boston Marathon… He is believed to be still on the run.
  10. I’m never again donating a dime to any charity raising funds for finishing the Boston Marathon… They just take the money and run.
  11. What is the #1 marathon for cardiologists?… The Boston Marathon. They love Heartbreak Hill.
  12. Top 10 Kentucky Derby Jokes: The Kentucky Derby is the “Run for the Roses.” The Boston Marathon on April 19, 1976 with temperatures approaching 100 degrees… was the “Run for the Hoses.”
  13. Boston Marathon runners with bad footwear… suffer the agony of defeat.
  14. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me the name of the Boston Marathon mascot?… Spike.
  15. Patriots’ Day Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you name the Massachusetts holiday that coincides with the Boston Marathon?
  16. Music Jokes: What music is blaring at the most difficult part of the Boston Marathon?… Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers at Heartbreak Hill. Stevie Nicks can be heard singing “Stop Dragging My Heart Around.”
  17. 2026 Boston Marathon: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe believe there were runners from all 50 states and 120+ countries?
  18. What is the worst US city to run a marathon?… Boston. It is the height of pollen season and it is in Mass “Achoo” setts.
  19. Book Jokes: A Boston Marathon book never written: “The Boston Marathon” by Will E. Makit.
  20. 2026 Boston Marathon: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Kenya… Kenya who?… Kenya believe John Korir (Kenya) won back-to-back Boston Marathons AND set a course record.2:01:52?
  21. 2026 Boston Marathon: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… #Kenya… Kenya who?… Kenya believe the top 4 finishers in women’s division for the Boston Marathon are from the SAME country?
  22. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Kenya… Kenya who?… Kenya name the country with great marathon runners that often win the Boston Marathon?
  23. Where do cardiologists like to watch the Boston Marathon?… Heartbreak Hill.
  24. College Jokes: Where do recently dumped college students go to watch the Boston Marathon?… Heartbreak Hill.
  25. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you draw me the Boston Marathon mascot?
  26. What should you say to someone running in the Boston Marathon from Ireland?… Irish you luck.
  27. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me when the Boston Marathon updated the mascot?…. The Boston Athletic Association (B.A.A.) unveiled a redesigned logo for the Boston Marathon in June 2024, featuring an updated, forward-facing unicorn mascot named “Spike.”
  28. I don’t win marathons because I’m lucky… I win because I take public transportation, just take like Rosie Ruiz.
  29. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you name the first EVER wheelchair division champion for the Boston Marathon?… Bob Hall (1978).
  30. I watch the Boston Marathon every year with my best friend. This year his girlfriend decided to join us, but she just couldn’t understand why we were laughing…. It was a running joke.
  31. Travel Guest Blogs: What is the #1 #hotel for runners of the Boston Marathon?… Heartbreak Hotel.
  32. The 1976 Boston Marathon was so hot… It was “The Run for the (water) Hoses.“
  33. I was watching the Boston Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed as a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought:…”This’ll be interesting.”
  34. 2012 Boston Marathon & 2025 Boston Marathon: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you name the only brothers to win the Boston Marathon?… Wesley Korir and his younger brother John Korir are the first brothers to win the Boston Marathon. Wesley Korir won the 2012 Boston Marathon, and thirteen years later, John Korir won the 2025 Boston Marathon.
  35. Do you know what would be a great theme song for One Boston Day?… ONE by U2. Boston loves U2 and U2 loves Boston.
  36. Why can’t you take a nap during the Boston Marathon race?… Because if you snooze, you loose!
  37. What do Boston Marathon runners do when they forget something?… They jog their memory.
  38. 2025 Boston Marathon: Kenya believe the top two women’s runners were from the SAME country?
  39. 2025 Boston Marathon: Kenya believe Sharon Lokedi broke the Boston Marathon women’s course record by 2 minutes and 30 seconds.
  40. 2025 Boston Marathon: Kenya believe Sharon Lokedi won her 1st Boston Marathon AND broke the course record by 2 minutes and 30 seconds.
  41. How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run the Boston Marathon?… They’ll tell you.
  42. Did you hear about the Boston Marathon race between the lettuce & the tomato?… The lettuce was a “head” & the tomato was trying to “ketchup”
  43. If Boston Marathon runners get athlete’s foot what do astronauts get?… Mistletoe?
  44. 2024 Boston Marathon: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you believe the 2024 Boston Marathon Women’s finish?… Hellen Obiri battled until the end to beat Sharon Lokedi.
  45. I don’t win marathons because I’m lucky… I win because I’m driven.
  46. Did you hear about the Boston Marathon runner who ran for 3 hours but only moved 2 feet?… He only had 2 feet!
  47. I did a Hobbit marathon yesterday…. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Bilbo Baggins!
  48. What do you get when you run behind a car?… EXHAUSTED.
  49. Last year I entered a marathon. The race started and immediately I was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing. The guy who was in front of me, second to last, was making fun of me. He said, “Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?” I replied, “You really want to know?” Then I dropped out of the race.
  50. The Boston Marathon is a great event… but it really gets me running in circles!
  51. What does a runner drink when she is in last place?… Ketchup.
  52. Why couldn’t the dog run in the Boston Marathon?… He wasn’t a part of the human race!
  53. What does the men’s winner of the Boston Marathon lose?… His breath.
  54. What does the women’s winner of the Boston Marathon lose?… Her breath.
  55. What does the wheelchair winner of the Boston Marathon lose?… Her breath.
  56. How does the Grinch complete the Boston Marathon?… grinch by grinch.
  57. I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday… I ran 26 miles dressed up as Gandalf!
  58. I did a Hobbit marathon yesterday…. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Frodo Baggins!
  59. What does the women’s wheelchair winner of the Boston Marathon lose?… Her breath!
  60. I did a Hobbit marathon yesterday…. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Samwise Gamgee!
  61. How do crazy Boston Marathon runners go through the forest?… They take the psycho path.
  62. Who is the fastest runner of all time?… Adam, because he came 1st in the human race!
  63. How do you know you’re a dedicated runner?… When your treadmill has more miles on it than your car.
  64. How do you know when you’ve married a running enthusiast?… When you have more running clothes than regular clothes in your laundry pile.
  65. What do you get when you run in front of a car?… TIRED
  66. What do you call a competitive runner who just broke up with his girlfriend?… Homeless.
  67. What kind of running shoes are made from banana skins?… Slippers.
  68. Why did the marathon runner end up in jail?… For resisting a rest.
  69. I kept telling a pun to the passersby during a marathon… It was a running joke.
  70. My friend Ty came in first in the Beijing marathon, but he wasn’t given the gold medal. The Chinese refuse to recognize Ty won.
  71. Is it really that wrong to hate an entire race?… I just find marathons waaaaay too long to enjoy any part of them.
  72. Training for a marathon can be hard work… But it’ll be good for you in the long run.
  73. I’m like a cross between a marathon runner and a sprinter… I can jog short distances.
  74. How do you know if someone runs marathons?… Don’t worry, they’ll tell you!
  75. I’m binge-watching this show and they keep doing bits about marathons… Guess it’s some sort of running joke.
  76. Abebe Bikila famously won the 1960 Olympic marathon while running barefoot… Do you think his opponents tasted defeat?
  77. Why did the runner from Boston break up with his girlfriend?… He said she was too “slow” for his fast-paced lifestyle!
  78. Me, to the cop: You can’t arrest me. I have a marathon to run today! Cop: Stop playing the race card!
  79. I guess my nose is training for a marathon… It’s been running since morning..
  80. I’d hate to run a marathon… They just look so hard to organise.
  81. I’m training for a marathon with my friend. Every day when we hit the trails he tells me the same thing, and it always makes me laugh. It’s a running joke.
  82. We’re always making fun of our friend who threw up during a marathon… It’s a running gag.
  83. Seriously, do not mess with a marathoner… They run the streets.
  84. Is this a bad time to say that I really like certain races and absolutely hate others?… The hundred metres dash is my favorite. The marathon is awful.
  85. I didn’t run a marathon in 2018…. I didn’t run a marathon in 2019… I didn’t run a marathon in 2020. I’ve never run a marathon in my life. This is a running joke.
  86. Why didn’t the programmer win a marathon?… He had a runtime error.
  87. “I’m thinking of running a marathon again.” I told my friend. “You’ve run a marathon before?” she asked, with an air of admiration. I said, “No, but I’ve thought about it.”
  88. What is a marathon runner doing when he starts a marathon in Russia that ends in Finland?… Russian to Finnish.
  89. So there was a marathon in Sweden that went all the way to the Еastern border. I guess you could say the race ended at the Finnish line.
  90. When is the best time to run a marathon?.. During Lent. That’s when you fast.
  91. Why did the marathon runner sprint at the start of the race?… His pacemaker was malfunctioning.
  92. What did the Jamaican say after winning the barefoot marathon?… “Da trill of victory always betta dan de agony of de feet!”
  93. I was thinking of running a marathon. But I think it might be too difficult getting all the roads closed and providing enough water for everyone.
  94. Did you hear about the man that won the marathon?… He was Russian.
  95. I met a guy from the Middle East after a marathon. I asked him if he walked it. No, he said… Iran.
  96. Wish me luck in the Boston Marathon today. I managed a respectable 3 hours, 12 minutes, last year… This year, I will try to beat that but I usually get bored and end up turning over to watch something else…
  97. I have started eating McDonalds after deciding to run the Boston Marathon… I need some fast food.
  98. I treat everyday like I’m running the Boston Marathon tomorrow… I rest, don’t run and load up on carbs.
  99. My friends won’t stop teasing me for giving up in a marathon after only 1 mile… I’ve become a running joke.
  100. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
  101. What do you call a free treadmill?… Outside.
  102. Why do marathon runners go jogging early in the morning?… They want to finish before their brain figures out what they’re doing.
  103. I forgot my first marathon joke…I need something to jog my memory!
  104. Did you hear about the man who finished the marathon in under two hours?… He was Russian!
  105. Why should you eat McDonald’s before a marathon?… You’ve gotta have some fast food!
  106. How did the lawyer with the leg injury still manage to win the marathon?…He had the power of a torn knee!
  107. Did you hear about the marathon runner who was afraid of speed bumps on the road?… He’s slowly getting over it!
  108. Why are snowmen so bad at marathons?… They just can’t warm up!
  109. What do you call it when a stand-up comedian has a lot of bits about marathons in his set?… A running joke!
  110. Did you hear about the marathon runner who did the race barefoot?… She suffered the agony of de-feet!
  111. Where does the Helsinki Marathon end?… At the Finnish line!
  112. Why was the DJ disqualified from the marathon?… He kept changing tracks!
  113. What’s the best time to run a marathon?… Lent, because then you fast!
  114. Training for a marathon is very big commitment… But it’s worth it in the long run!
  115. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell how many miles the Boston Marathon is?
  116. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe what town starts the Boston Marathon?
  117. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the name of the father-son team that ran the Boston Marathon?
  118. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the course record for the Boston Marathon Men’s division?
  119. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the course record for the Boston Marathon Women’s division?
  120. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the course record for the Boston Marathon Men’s wheelchair division?
  121. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the course record for the Boston Marathon Women’s wheelchair division?

Honorable Mentions:

  1. If twenty monkeys run after one banana, what time is it?… Twenty after one!
  2. Why do dogs run in circles?… Because its hard to run in squares!
  4. Why did the vegetarians stop running cross country?… They didn’t like meets!
  5. What race is never run?… A swimming race.
  6. What do a dentist and a track coach have in common?… They both use drills!