Jaws Jokes

by | May 31, 2025 | Dads, Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Jaws shark jokes!
  2. Amity Island Summer PSA: Just remember, you’ll never need a bigger boat if you don’t go to the ocean.
  3. Amity Island Summer PSA: A friendly reminder: Sharks live in the ocean… Year-round.
  4. #1 Amity Island AirBNB: Summer rental, 3 rooms, outdoor shower, ocean view WITH A POOL!
  5. Amity Island Summer PSA There’s a little-known but foolproof defense against sharks… Sharks will only attack you if you’re wet. 
  6. Friday the 13th Jokes: What happens when Friday the 13th falls during the same month as the 50th Anniversary of Jaws… It is JAWsome!
  7. Bruce, the Jaws shark: “Where’s my bloody dinner?”
  8. Christmas Jokes: Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?… Santa Jaws!
  9. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Otto… Otto who?… Otto get a bigger boat.
  10. Jaws was such an epic movie. Do you know which country had the craziest fans?… Finland.
  11. Swimming Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Otto… Otto who?… Otto be careful of swimming on Amity Island.
  12. If they made movie starring the Loch Ness Monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?… Loch Jaws! 
  13. Music Jokes: Who is the favorite musical group of the Jaws shark?… Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band.
  15. What did the millennial say when his friend played jaws on the piano?… That low key gave me chills.
  16. I started downloading Jaws the other day… But after one megabyte, my computer died.
  17. On Amity Island, what’s it called when one thing makes something else happen?… Jaws and effect.
  18. Where’s the first place Bruce, the shark from Jaws visited after filming the movie?…  Finland. 
  19. How did the Royal Family get to Martha’s Vineyard for the 50th Anniversary of Jaws… The Island Queen.
  20. Amity Island Summer PSA: A new study shows sharks only bite those who swim in the ocean. Researchers advise not swimming there. 
  21. Knock knock?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who… Canoe tell me what Amity means? (friendship)
  22. Knock knock?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who… Canoe tell me the name the girl who was eaten in the opening scene of Jaws? (Chrissie Watkins)
  23. Knock knock?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who… Canoe tell me the name the boy who was eaten in Jaws? (Alex Kintner)
  24. What do you call the mushy stuff stuck between Bruce, the Jaws shark’s teeth?… Pippet!
  25. Knock knock?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who… Canoe tell me the name the dog in Jaws? (Pippet)
  26. What do you call the mushy stuff stuck between Bruce, the Jaws shark’s teeth?… Chrissie Watkins!
  27. How was Jaws able to sneak up on people while they were swimming?… Wouldn’t they hear the tuba?
  28. Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a Jaws Great White Shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on! 
  29. If you watch Jaws backwards it’s the heartwarming story of a shark that helps physically-challenged people put their lives back together.
  30. What happened when Bruce, the Jaws shark got famous?… He became a starfish! 
  31. Why are Bruce, the Jaws shark, hard to trust?… He tells Great White lies. 
  32. Knock knock?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who… Canoe name the scariest summer movie that was released in 1975? (Jaws)
  33. What do you call a gymnast swimming in the waters of Amity Island?… A balanced breakfast.
  34. Bruce, the Jaws shark swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So in a triathlon, it would be all come down to who is the better cyclist.
  35. Knock knock?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who… Canoe name the director of Jaws? (Steven Spielberg)
  36. What is Bruce, the shark from Jaws, favorite song?… No-fin compares to you by Sinead O’Connor.
  37. What is Bruce, the shark from Jaws, favorite Jimmy Buffet song?… Fins.
  38. What was the most requested Jimmy Buffet song at the 50th Anniversary of Jaws?… Fins.
  39. Knock knock?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who… Canoe name the composer for Jaws? (John Williams)
  40. What did the shark say to the marlin at 50th Anniversary of Jaws?… Lookin’ Sharp. 
  41. What do Bruce, the shark from Jaws, have on their toast?… Mermalaid.   
  42. What is Bruce, the shark from Jaws, favorite sandwich?… A peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich
  43. Where was the Jaws sharks originally from?… Finland. 
  44. Marine biologists were baffled by why Jaws would always swim away after chomping off swimmers’ legs. Turns out he’s lack toes intolerant.
  45. Bruce, the shark from Jaws, has been out of work for some time now, but don’t worry… he’s collecting workers’ chomp. 
  46. Knock knock?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who… Canoe name the author of the book Jaws was based on? (Peter Benchley)
  47. Knock knock?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who… Canoe tell me the name of the marine biologist from the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute? (Matt Hooper)
  48. Knock knock?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who… Canoe tell me the name of the actor who played the marine biologist from the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute? (Richard Dreyfuss)
  49. What is Bruce, the Jaws shark, 2nd favorite movie?… Shaw-shark Redemption!
  50. What What is Bruce, the Jaws shark, favorite James Joyce novel?… FINnegan’s wake.
  51. Knock knock?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who… Canoe tell me the name the college of the drunk boy who is last scene with girl who was eaten in the opening scene of Jaws? (Trinity)
  52. Why can’t Bruce, the Jaws shark read?… He is not part of a school.
  53. News just in of an Amity Island honeymooner killed in a shark attack. The man had been married very recently… A police spokesman said “Fortunately the man did not suffer too much as he had only been married 5 days.”
  54. What does Bruce, the shark from Jaws put on his toast?… Buh-tah. Buh-tah. Buh-tah tah-tah
  55. Why wasn’t the woman from Amity Island afraid when she saw a shark while she was swimming in the water?… Because it was a man-eating shark! 
  56. Did you hear how they found out the girl Jaws attacked had dandruff?… They found her head & shoulders on the beach.
  57. Bruce, the shark from Jaws sure is athletic—he’s been working on his a-gil-ity! 
  58. #1 requested song for the Jaws 50th Annivesary?… Fins by Jimmy Buffet.
  59. The French remake of “Jaws” has a surprise ending… “Fin”
  60. Other than Jaws, what’s a shark’s favorite movie?… Shaw-shark Redemption!
  61. Who’s Bruce, the Jaws shark’s favorite Star Wars character?… Chewbacca! 
  62. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Jaws? 
  63. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Amity Island? 
  64. Being a dentist was useful professionally… It opened up a lot of jaws.
  65. Where was Bruce, the shark from Jaws, favorite opening for the movie?…  Finland.
  66. What song does Bruce, the shark from Jaws sing while hunting for food?… Don’t Stop Bleedin’! 
  67.  What’s does Bruce, the Jaws shark like to say in agreement?… De-fin-itely. 
  68. What’s a Bruce, the Jaws shark’s favorite TV show?… Shark Tank!
  69. Where do Bruce, the Jaws shark, go to make it big as a country singer ?… Gnashville.
  70. What was Chief Brody’s kid’s excuse for not having his homework?… “The shark ate it!”
  71. What did Bruce, the Jaws shark say to the whale?… What are you blubbering about?  
  72. What advice did Bruce, the Jaws shark give his son?… “Go take a bite out of life!” 
  73. What is Bruce, the Jaws shark favorite card game?… Go fish.
  74. How do Bruce, the shark from Jaws, start his day?… He drinks jaw-va.
  75. What does Bruce, the Jaws shark, order at McDonalds?… A quarter flounder with cheese!
  76. What did Bruce, the Jaws shark, get on his marine biology test?… A sea-minus.
  77. What do you call the mushy stuff stuck between Bruce, the Jaws shark’s teeth?… a skinny dipper!
  78. When Bruce, the Jaws shark who got married?… He was hooked for life.
  79. I went to a Halloween party dressed as Bruce, the Jaws shark…. The novelty is wearing a little fin!
  80. What’s Bruce, the Jaws shark favorite bible story?… Noah’s shark! 
  81. What do Bruce, the Jaws shark and a computer have in common?… They both have megabites!
  82. Why did the octopus beat Bruce, the Jaws shark, in a fight?… Because the octopus was well armed! 
  83. What do you get when you cross Frosty the Snowman with Bruce, the shark from Jaws?… Frost bite
  84. What do you call an acrobat swimming in the waters of Amity Island?… A balanced breakfast.
  85. What did Bruce, the Jaws shark say to the other after eating a clown fish??… ‘Not only does it look funny, but it tastes funny too.’ 
  86. The Jaws shark only did one movie and has not worked since, but don’t worry… he’s collecting workers’ chomp. 
  87. Who is the Bruce, the Jaws shark,’s favorite 1950s film actor?… Shark Hudson
  88. What is Bruce, the Jaws shark. two most favorite words?… Man overboard.
  89. Bruce, the Jaws shark will eat anything and everything…. Especially people who use the ocean as a bathroom.
  90. What is Bruce, the shark from Jaws’s favorite programming language?… Jaw-va.
  91. What’s Bruce, the Jaws shark’s favorite meal?… Fish and ships.
  92. Bruce, the Jaws shark: “Where’s my bloody lunch?”
  93. What’s Bruce, the Jaws shark’s favorite breakfast food?… A jellyfish filled donut.
  94. Why did Bruce, the Jaws shark, cross the reef?… To get to the other tide! 
  95. What did Bruce, the Jaws shark, get on his marine biology test?… A sea-plus.
  96. Why didn’t Bruce, the shark from Jaws, want to fight the octopus?… Because he knew he was well-armed! 
  97. Bruce, the Jaws shark: “Where’s my bloody breakfast?”
  98. How do you make Bruce, the shark from Jaws, laugh?… Tell a whale of a tale. 
  99. I would like to see a Great White Shark before I die… But not right before I die. 
  100. I went to a Halloween party dressed as the Jaws shark…. The novelty is wearing a little fin!
  101. What candy must a shark with braces avoid?… Jaw-breakers! 
  102. Why is the Jaws shark hard to trust?… He tell Great White lies. 
  103. What did the Jaws get on his marine biology test?… A sea-minus. 
  104. Three things I want to do before I die: #1 Swim next to a Great White Shark! 
  105. What is a shark’s favorite song?… No-fin compares to you by Sinead O’Connor. 
  106. Shark Pun: Go ahead and mako my day. 
  107. Why did Jaws cross the reef?… To get to the other tide! 
  108. Why do the Jaws shark have teeth?… For eating porpoises.
  109. What text should have appeared when Jaws ended?… Fin.
  110. Did you hear about the supremely proper way the Englishman greeted the master fisherman from Jaws?… It was ‘ello, Quint!
  111. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Jaws knock-knock joke? 
  112. How does Bruce, the shark from Jaws stay up all night?… They drink jaw-va. 
  113. What’s the Habsburg Dynasty’s favorite movie?… Jaws
  114. How does the Jaws shark start his day?… Jaw-va.

Honorable Mention

  1. How does a shark chef announce that the food is ready?… “Hot off the gill!”
  2. What does a hammerhead shark call a headache?… A hammering head.
  3. Shark Pun: You’ve got me between a rock and a shark place.
  4. What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?… Shark Trek! 
  5. What does a shark eat for dinner?… Whatever it wants!
  6. There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is… Personally, I think it’s the sea.
  7. If a shark approached you at sea, you can gently push it away only twice… Once with each hand.
  8. Shark Pun: That shark attack really made a splash in the headlines, huh?
  9. Why don’t sharks like fast food?… Because they can’t catch it! (Fast Food Jokes) 
  10. Where do sharks go on summer camp?… Finland! 
  11. What’s a shark’s favorite food?… A jellyfish filled donut. 
  12. What is a shark’s favorite game?… Swallow the leader! 
  13. What was the shark’s favorite movie?… Eating Nemo!
  14. What do yuppie sharks like to drink?… Jaw-va
  15. What’s a shark’s favorite coffee shop?… Shark-bucks.
  16. What does a snow shark give you?… Frost bites.
  17. What did the shark say to the surfer?… Come on in, the water’s fine!
  18. What did one shark say to the other after an awkward moment?… Whale, that was weird. 
  19. Shark Pun: There’s no-fin I wouldn’t do for you.
  20. What was the sharks favorite B-52s song?… Love Shark.
  21. How do you throw a shark out of a bar?… You cast it out. (Beer Jokes)
  22. What is the Great White Shark’s favorite candy?… The Jaw-Breaker!
  23. What did the shark say when something amazing happened?… JAWESOME!
  24. Who’s Iron Man’s alter-ego in the sea world? Tony Shark.
  25. Why do sharks not like oysters?… They’re shellfish. 
  26. What did the hammerhead shark say to his drinking buddies?… I’m hammered. 
  27. What lie will a shark always tell a human?… I promise to take just one bite.
  28. Pretend you are on a boat surrounded by sharks. How do you survive?… You stop pretending!
  29. What does a shark like to watch on tv?…Anything but Flipper.
  30. What happens when you cross a great white shark with a cow fish?…  I don’t know…but I wouldn’t want to #milk it! 
  31. What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?… As far away as possible.
  32. How does a shark greet a fish?… Pleased to eat you!
  33. Why did the shark cross the #GreatBarrierReef?… To get to the other TIDE!
  34. What did the shark plead in the murder case?… Not gill-ty! 
  35. What does a dentist say to his shark patients?… Let’s see those chompers.
  36. Where do sharks go on summer camp?… Finland! 
  37. What did the great white shark say to the cliff jumper?… Don’t worry, I’ll catch you.
  38. What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish? “This tastes a little funny…” 
  39. What did the shark say to the spear fisherman?… Please, spear me the pain! 
  40. If a shark is after you, what should your feed it?… Jawbreakers! 
  41. Which body part are mermaids scared of?… Jaws! (Movie Jokes)
  42. How did the hammerhead tell his #mom he did on his test?… He nailed it! 
  43. ​​Shark Pun: How do sharks greet one another?… Water you up to, mate? 
  44. What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?… An animal that talks your head off. (Bird Jokes)
  45. What does a shark call a surfboard?… A serve board.
  46. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good shark knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  47. Hey @TimmyTrumpet! What happens when you cross a great white shark with a #trumpet fish?… I don’t know…but I wouldn’t want to play it! 
  48. What sharks are the shortest?… Ground sharks.
  49. How do sharks greet the day?… With the saying “time to rise and tide.”
  50. What should you do if you see a shark?… Swim far, far away
  51. Sharks only attack because no one will look them straight in the eye.
  52. What did the 18-year-old shark ask his parents when they kicked him out of the reef?… Why are you casting me out? 
  53. Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?… A jellyfish, that’s a no-brainer.
  54. What did the Daddy shark say to the kid shark?… Watch that sharkasm, young man!
  55. If you see a tuna being chased by a dozen sharks what time is it?… Twelve after one.
  56. What do you call a shark in a bad mood?… Grumpy gills.
  57. How does a shark plead in court?… Gill-ty.
  58. Female Shark: What do you want to dinner? Male Shark: Finny you should ask, I wanted to see if you’d like to catch a bite somewhere.
  59. What’s a shark’s favorite game?… Hide and go eat.
  60. What did the man say to his wife at the beach?…
  61. Let’s prey the sharks are sleeping while we’re swimming… Let’s prey the sharks are sleeping while we’re swimming. (Napping Jokes)
  62. What’s a shark’s favorite event to attend?… The carnival!
  63. Don’t trust sharks—they’ll spill your sea-crets.  
  64. What did the shark say when he bit the fishing line?… “I’m hooked!”
  65. What’s a great white’s favorite tune?… Dun-uh. Dun-uh. Dun-u
  66. What did the shark say after eating a clown fish?… This tastes a little funny! How does a shark family get a vacation started?… By setting the wheels in ocean. (Travel Guest Blogs)
  67. Shark Pun: Stay jaws-itive. 
  68. Save a boat. Ride a shark. It’s more eco-friendly
  69. Shark Pun: No-fin compares to you, dear. 
  70. What did the shark say to his wife during a fight?… You’re just being jaw-matic.
  71. What did the shark say when he was accused of hitting his brother?… Not gill-ty!
  72. What did the shark get when he traveled to the Arctic Ocean?… Frostbite. 
  73. What do fish like to dress up as for Halloween?… Goblin sharks.
  74. What do you call a dapper shark?… So-fish-dicated.
  75. Did you hear about the aquarium owner?… His shark was worse than his pike.
  76. Shark Pun: Gangster shark to human: Shark my words, you’re a dead man.
  77. What was the last word of the shark movie?… Fin. 
  78. How do sharks find things online? They surf the fin-ternet. 
  79. Why was the shark so funny?… He had great shark-asm. 
  80. No wonder that shark doesn’t have any friends—it’s a loan shark. 
  81. Shark Pun: What did the mom shark say to her mouthy son?… Don’t get sharky, son.
  82. What types of sharks are the shadiest sharks?… Card sharks.
  83. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a shark?… Frost bite! 
  84.  I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark… When I woke up I realized it was just a bream! 
  85. What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?… Peanut butter and jellyfish! 
  86. Shark Pun: This makome off as a surprise, but I don’t bite. 
  87. Shark Pun: There’s some-fin special about you.
  88. Shark Pun: Stay jaw-some. 
  89. Shark Pun: Don’t de-bait me. You won’t win this bite. 
  90. Shark Pun: If you can be fin-tastic, always be fin-tastic.
  91. Shark Pun: How does a shark express disappointment?… Jaw, man! 
  92. What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter sandwiches?… Jellyfish.
  93. Who delivers Christmas presents to baby sharks?… Santa Jaws!
  94. What do sharks eat for dessert?… Octo-pie. 
  95. Why does Cupid always make so much money at the casino?… Because he’s a Valentine’s Card Shark.
  96. Why did the shark throw his clock out the window?… He wanted to see time fly!
  97. What type of shark do you find at a building site? Hammerhead sharks! 
  98. What do you call a solitary shark?… A “lone” (loan) shark.
  99. Hangry sharks make the worst ocean floaties!
  100. Shark Pun: I chews you.
  101. What kind of sharks make the best pog players?… Slammerheads!
  102. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Otto… Otto who?… Otto be careful of #sharks.  #SharkWeek #SharkWeek2024
  103. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Carmi… Carmi who?… Carmi get me from the shark.
  104. What is a shark’s favorite smell?… Human blood.
  105. What do sharks serve their guests at parties?… A sharkcuterie.
  106. Did you know that geese kill more humans than sharks each year?… To be fair, it’s really hard for geese to kill sharks.
  107. What do you call a shark that’s always singing?… A tuneful shark
  108. What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?… Edward Scissorfins.
  109. What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts?… Shark absorbers.
  110. Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?… Professional courtesy. 
  111. I’ve just seen a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center… I think it must be a busking shark.
  112. What is a shark attack survivor’s favorite coffee?… Half-caf.
  113. I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks… I’d better watch my ass.
  114. What did the shark say to the plate of sushi?… Pleased to eat you!
  115. What is the difference between a cucumber and a shark attack?… One is a pickle you can make, the other is a pickle you can’t escape.
  116. Why can’t sharks play flutes properly?… Because they don’t have a tuna.
  117. My friend is a real shark in the business world… He made a killing in Fin-Tech.
  118. Why’d the fish swim right into the bull shark’s mouth?… He was a dumb bass.
  119. Why do sharks eat underwater internet cables?…They were advised to have more fiber in their diet.
  120. Did you hear about the pregnant woman bit by a shark?… She hopes it’s a buoy.
  121. Why do Crips like swimming in the ocean?… Because sharks can smell Blood from far away.
  122. Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a Chatham Great White Shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on!
  123. Which sharks would you find at a construction site?… Hammerhead sharks.
  124. What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter sandwiches?… Jellyfish.
  125. What happens when you cross a great white shark with a cow fish?…  I don’t know…but I wouldn’t want to milk it!
  126. What happens when you cross a great white shark with a trumpet fish?… I don’t know…but I wouldn’t want to play it!
  127. If they made movie starring the Loch Ness Monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?… Loch Jaws
  128. What do you can the mushy stuff stuck between a great white’s shark teeth?…       Slow swimmers.
  129. If a shark is after you, what should your feed it?… Jawbreakers
  130. If you see a tuna being chased by a dozen sharks what time is it?… Twelve after one.
  131. Which sharks do you find in heaven?… Angel sharks.
  132. Who is the most famous shark writer?… William Sharkspeare
  133. What kind of shark is always gambling?… A CARDSHARK
  134. What is a sharks favorite sci-fi show?… Shark Trek
  135. What do you call a solitary shark?… A “lone” (loan) shark
  136. Why don’t sharks like fast food?… Because they can’t catch it!
  137. What did the shark say to the whale?… What are u blubbering about?
  138. What doe a shark like to watch on tv?…Anything but Flipper!
  139. What was the shark’s favorite James Joyce novel?… A: FINnegan’s wake
  140. What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”… An M.C. Hammerhead.
  141. Why did the shark throw his clock out the window?… He wanted to see time fly!
  142. Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?… To get to the other TIDE
  143. What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?… an animal that talks your head off.
  144. How do you make a shark laugh?… Tell a whale of a tale.
  145. Who is the shark communitys favorite 1950s film actor?… Shark Hudson
  146. What do yuppie sharks like to drink?… Jaw-va
  147. What was the nerd shark’s favorite programming language?… Jaw-va
  148. What does a snowshark give you?… Frost bites.
  149. Whats the Great White Sharks favorite candy?… The Jaw-Breaker!
  150. What did one shark say to the other after eating a clown fish??… ‘Not only does it look funny, but it tastes funny too.’
  151. What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?… Peanut butter and jellyfish!
  152. How did the crazy shark become normal again?…lectro shark therapy
  153. What did the shark say when something amazing happened?… JAWESOME
  154. What should you do if you see a shark?… Swim far, far away!
  155. What does a shark eat for dinner?… Whatever it wants!
  156. What did the shark plead in the murder case?… Not gill-ty!
  157. Where are sharks from?… Finland.
  158. Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?… Santa Jaws!
  159. What was the marine biologist’s kid’s excuse for not having his homework?… “My shark ate it!

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