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Google Search “Ides of March Jokes”
- March Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Ides of March jokes.
- If you time travel to visit Julius Caesar. He thinks you are from the future. He asks you, “How do I die?”… You reply with: “Surrounded by friends.”
- An Ides of March joke… I’ll take a stab at that.
- What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?… The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
- Commemorating the Ides of March… Was Julius Cesar the first Holey Roman Emperor?
- Crayon Jokes: Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?… He wanted to Mark Anthony.
- For dinner tonight, don’t forget to stab your Caesar salad 23 times… Today is the Ides of March.
- Basketball Jokes for the Ides of March: Sunday March 15th, 2026: Selection Sunday falls on the Ides of March. People want an Ides of March March Madness joke… I’ll take a stab at that.
- Mardi Gras Jokes: What did Caesar eat at the Mardi Gras?… Etouffee.
- August Jokes: Caesar was famously killed on the Ides of March, but he wasn’t expecting the attack until August 2. His final words embodied his dismay over the scheduling confusion: “8/2, Brute…”
- March Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… Augustus was a Roman statesman and military leader who was the first emperor of the Roman Empire, reigning from 27 BC until his death in AD 14.
- How do you make any salad into a Caesar Salad?… Stab it twenty three times!
- What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?… Roman noodles.
- Pizza Jokes: How are you celebrating the Ides of March?… Pizza from Little Caesars!
- March Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the month of the Ides of March?
- Donut Jokes: Celebrate the Ides of March with a donut. In fact…Eat two, Brute.
- Why was Shakespeare denied a drink at a pub?… He was bard!
- March, marching orders… find us some more Ides of March jokes.
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe explain to me the significance of the Ides of March?
- What did Romans use to cut a string?… Caesars!
- Why is it called a Caesar Salad?… Because Caesar ruled the romaines.
- What was the name of the emperor’s penguin?… Julius Freezerrr.
- How do you cut ancient Rome in half?… With a pair of Caesars.
- March Knock Knock Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good the Ides of March knock knock jokes?
- March Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the date of the Ides of March.
- March 15th is The Ides of March. Do you know what time it officially starts?… “At two”
- Who refereed a tennis match between Julius Caesar and Mark Anthony?… The Roman Umpire!
- Baseball Jokes: Who officiated a baseball game between Julius Caesar and Mark Anthony?… The Roman Umpire!
- Softball Jokes: Who officiated a softball game between Julius Caesar and Mark Anthony?… The Roman Umpire!
- Pizza Jokes: I just bought pizza at the grocery store… I didn’t think Little Caesars was appropriate on the Ides of March
- Pizza Jokes: What is the unofficial restaurant of the Ides of March?… Little Caesars!
- What did Caesar eat at the Mardi Gras?… Etouffee!
- Donut Jokes: Celebrate the Ides of March with a donut. In fact… Eat two, Brute.
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Ides of March knock-knock joke?
- March Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about the Ides of March?
- Which famous Roman suffered from hay fever?… Julius Sneezer.
- Can February, March? … No, but April, May!
- What do you get when a samurai crosses swords with a Roman dictator?… A Caesar salad.
- Why is everyone so tired on April 1?… Because they’ve just finished a long, 31 day March!
- What did Brutus say on March 15th?… “I’ll just take a Caesar salad, please.”
- Why did Julius Caesar hate salads?… They always came with too many knives.
- What is a Roman’s favorite type of music?… Stab-ilized rock.
- “Beware the Ides of March!” — Or, as I call it, a Tuesday with extra stabbing.
- This Brutus will be sinking his knife into a Caesar Salad today.
- Happy Ides of March! Don’t get stabbed.
- Why was Caesar so bad at sharing?… He didn’t want anyone else taking a stab at it.
- March 15th: The only day it’s acceptable to ask if your friend is going to backstab you.
- What’s a dictator’s favorite date?… Not this one.
- Sunday Jokes: March 15th, 2026: “Beware the Ides of March!” — Or, as I call it, a Sunday with extra stabbing.
- Monday Jokes: “Beware the Ides of March!” — Or, as I call it, a Monday with extra stabbing.
- Tuesday Jokes: “Beware the Ides of March!” — Or, as I call it, a Tuesday with extra stabbing.
- “Beware the Ides of March!” — Or, as I call it, a Wednesday with extra stabbing.
- Thursday Jokes: “Beware the Ides of March!” — Or, as I call it, a Thursday with extra stabbing.
- Friday Jokes: “Beware the Ides of March!” — Or, as I call it, a Friday with extra stabbing.
- Saturday Jokes: “Beware the Ides of March!” — Or, as I call it, a Saturday with extra stabbing.
- Why did Caesar buy a salad spinner?… Because he was tired of being stabbed in the romaine!
- What did Brutus say to Caesar on the 15th of March?… “Hey, can you lend me a hand? Or maybe 23 of them?”
- What’s the best way to invite Caesar to a party?… Send him a “stab-safe” RSVP.
- Why did the Soothsayer get bad Yelp reviews?… Everyone told him to “Beware the Ides of March,” but he just wouldn’t shut up about it.
- What is Julius Caesar’s favorite type of music?… “Et Tu, Brute” Metal.
- How does Caesar celebrate his birthday?… He keeps his friends close… and his enemies closer (to his back).
- What did Caesar say after his friend gave him a sweater?… “Beware the threads of March.”
- Why did Caesar hate going to the gym?… Too many people wanted to do lunges with him.
- Ides of March Jokes: