Top 500 Labor Day Jokes

by | Sep 1, 2026 | College, Dads, Latest News, School Jokes

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  1. September Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Labor Day jokes.
  2. Farming Jokes: Happy Labor Day…. Oh wait… we live on a farm. Never mind!
  3. Daylight Savings Jokes: Boss: “You’re an hour late!” Guy who is about to invent daylight savings time: “Haven’t you heard?” 
  4. Gymnastics Jokes: Help Wanted: Gymnastics Teacher Needed To Work Sat-Wed. Must be flexible. 
  5. Archaeology Jokes: My archaeologist co-worker tried to blackmail me the other day… Turns out he got a lot of dirt on me.
  6. Earth Day Jokes: I got a  job at a paperless office… Everything was great until I needed to use the bathroom.
  7. Earth Day Jokes: I’m trying to start a chewing gum recycling company… I just need a little help getting it off the ground. 
  8. Did you hear the joke about Labor Day?… It doesn’t work for me!
  9. I quit working for Nike… I just couldn’t do it anymore.
  10. Dad Jokes: What does your father do for a living?… He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half. I four half-sisters and a half-brother.
  11. I went to a hockey store and asked an employee if they had any cheap skates. They sent me to the manager’s office. 
  12. There’s no training to be a garbage man… You just pick it up as you go along.
  13. Dog Jokes: How do dog catchers get paid?… By the pound.
  14. Flower Jokes: Why did the bees go on strike?… Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers!
  15. Shark Jokes: The shark is out of work right now, but don’t worry… he’s collecting workers’ chomp. 
  16. I have some jokes about unemployed people… but none of them work.
  17. Flag Day Jokes: I almost got a job at a bullring but ultimately decided against it… There were too many red flags. 
  18. Barber Jokes: I wanted to be a barber… but I just couldn’t cut it.
  19. Jimmy Buffett Jokes: Knock knockout?… Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe tell me the type of footwear Jimmy Buffett sings about wearing for the Labor Day Weekend show?… (Hush Puppies)
  20. Monday Jokes: I love Labor Day… What other day do you get to celebrate work without actually doing any?
  21. Prom Jokes: After all those years working as a limousine driver… I don’t have much to chauffeur it.
  22. I got laid off from the unemployment office and still had to show up the next day.
  23. Career Ideas: Learn About Your Next Job My first job was in an orange juice factory, but I couldn’t concentrate on the same old boring rind… so I got canned.
  24. Tree Jokes: What is a lumberjack’s favorite month?… Sep-timber!
  25. Solar Eclipse Jokes: This past week I made a couple bucks selling fake eclipse glasses I’m not to worried though… those suckers will never see me again.
  26. I used to be a professional bowler… I’ll spare you the details.
  27. Pizza Jokes: Wood fired pizza?… How’s pizza gonna get a job now? 
  28. Graduation Jokes: I used to get into fights at the drop of a hat. Which is probably why I got fired from my job as a graduation photographer. 
  29. Chocolate Chip Cookie Jokes: I tried to start an online Chocolate Chip Cookie store… But I accidentally deleted all my cookies.
  30. I’m thinking about working search and rescue… They’re always looking for people.
  31. Pirate Jokes: What’s a pirate’s second favorite job?… an arrrrrrchitect!
  32. Bacon Jokes: Why was the meat packer arrested?… For bringing home the bacon. 
  33. 101 Elephant Jokes: Why did elephants form a union… They work for peanuts. 
  34. How do lifeguards get paid?… With sand dollars.
  35. I wanted to be a professional poker player… but it wasn’t in the cards.
  36. Working at the call center was not for me… I don’t answer to anyone.
  37. Shark Jokes: A pirate and a sailor were exchanging stories. The sailor pointed to the pirate’s peg leg and asked, “How did you get that?” The pirate said, “Aye, I wrestled a shark and lost me leg.” The sailor pointed to the pirate’s hook and asked, “How did you get that?” The pirate said: “Aye, I fought Red Beard’s crew and lost me hand.” The sailor pointed to the pirate’s eye patch and asked, “How did you get that?” The pirate said, “Aye, a bird came by and left droppings in me eye.” The sailor said, “That’s not as impressive as the other two. …” “Aye,” the pirate answered. “It was me first day with the hook.”
  38. Milk Jokes: My friend got fired from his cow milking  job because of his erratic behavior… He was a danger to himself and udders. 
  39. My job is selling houses in places like Narnia, Middle Earth, Neverland, Oz and Wonderland… I’m a Not Real Estate Agent.
  40. Geography Jokes: What’s the best part about working in Switzerland?… I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
  41. In honor of Earth Day, I’m sending all of my work-related emails to my “recycle” folder. 
  42. From the moment I became an archaeologist… my  career was in ruins.
  43. Labor Day Jokes: I wasn’t feeling fulfilled as a phlebotomist… All my work was in vein.
  44. Grandparent Jokes: My grandpa always says, “When one door closes, another opens.” He was a good man, but a lousy cabinet maker. 
  45. Why did the employee get fired from Pepsi?… They found Coke in his system.
  46. Where does a majority of a hockey player’s salary come from?… The tooth fairy. 
  47. September Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me the date of Labor Day this year? 
  48. I just lost my job as a psychic… I did not see that coming.
  49. I manufactured calendars… but my days were numbered.
  50. September Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust a to go back to  college. It is Labor Day Weekend. 
  51. I was a masseur for a while… but I rubbed people the wrong way.
  52. My buddy founded a canoe business that’s really taking off. I had the same idea… but I missed the boat. 
  53. Bike Jokes: What do you call a door to door bicycle salesman?… A Peddler! 
  54. My boss told a joke during our zoom call today… It wasn’t even remotely funny.
  55. Why do hockey players work in bakeries during the off season?… They’re great at icing the cakes! 
  56. Navy Jokes: I became a chef after I left the Navy… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. 
  57. Most people enjoy a day off on Labor Day except fire… Fire works on the Labor Day Weekend.
  58. I tried working at the IRS… but it was too taxing.
  59. Cinco De Mayo Jokes: If today is Cinco de Mayo, what is tomorrow ?… Lieo de Bosso.
  60. Here’s to hopefully having jobs when we return from Labor Day Weekend.
  61. Tree Jokes: Tree trimmers do such a fantastic job… They should take a bough. 
  62. 101 Dr. Seuss Jokes: What was Dr. Seuss’ mom’s job?… She was a Ma Seuss. 
  63. Oklahoma Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Canoe?… Canoe Who?… Canoe you name America’s Biggest Labor Day Party! (Rocklahoma)
  64. Tree Jokes: I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it… so they gave me the axe.
  65. I don’t really like working as a waiter… But hey, at least it puts food on the table.
  66. I want to open a milk factory and name the company “Legend”… It’ll be “Legend-Dairy.” 
  67. Music Jokes: What is an iron worker’s favorite band?… Steely Dan. 
  68. Mailman Jokes: I quit my new job as a mailman when they handed me my first letter to deliver. I looked at it and thought… “This isn’t for me.”
  69. Massachusetts Jokes: Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources officer asked a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “and what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, fourteen paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years? Say, a red Corvette?” The engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow!! Are you kidding?” The interviewer replies, “Yeah, but you started it.”
  70. Stranger Things Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe tell me Hopper’s famous line about mornings at work?
  71. Why didn’t Jason wear his hockey mask for Halloween?… Because you don’t wear white after Labor Day. 
  72. Fireworks Jokes: Bullets and fireworks are the only things that do their  job after they’ve been fired.
  73. I was considering working for Uber… but I don’t have the drive.
  74. How do you like working as a tailor?… It’s so-so.
  75. Labor Day PSA: On one hand fireworks are a lot of fun. On the other hand I only have 2 fingers.
  76. Chocolate Chip Cookie Jokes: My annual performance review says I lack “passion & intensity,” guess management hasn’t seen me alone with a big plate of chocolate chip  cookies! 
  77. I had to quit working as an elevator repairman… I couldn’t handle all the ups and downs.
  78. I got burned out working as a fireman.
  79. Music Jokes: What is the unofficial song of the Bricklayers Union?… Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd.
  80. Solar Eclipse Jokes: If the eclipse glasses I sold you don’t work… see me after, and I’ll give you a refund.
  81. Shark Jokes: What did the hammerhead’s boss say when he did a good job?… “You nailed it!”
  82. I didn’t get the job in Australia because I was un-koala-fied.
  83. They called him the king of the dentists because he specialized in crowns. 
  84. Skiing Jokes: I thought taking a job as a ski instructor would be great… But it really went downhill fast.
  85. I tried working in a car muffler factory… but that was exhausting.
  86. Baseball Jokes: I wanted to earn a little extra money being a baseball umpire… but my home plate was full.
  87. Mailman Jokes: Did you hear about the mailman who walked out on the job?… He abandoned his post. 
  88. Kentucky Derby Jokes: How does a cowboy get a stallion to do odd  jobs around the farm?… Pay him under the stable.
  89. Donut Jokes: I tried working in a donut shop… but I soon got tired of the hole business.
  90. “It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose your own.” Harry S. Truman
  91. Pasta Jokes: I just got fired from the pasta factory… I made a fusili mistakes. 
  92. I’ve been working 25/7 to come up with a joke about day light savings time. 
  93. How does Santa pay the elves?… Jingle bills!
  94. Whenever Autumn comes around, I like to walk around and collect the colorful leaves… It sounds better than saying I’m a street sweeper.
  95. Why did the track athlete take the day off on Labor Day?… She needed to run some errands. 
  96. Teacher Jokes for September: I thought about being a history teacher… but I couldn’t see a future in it. 
  97. How did the dental hygienist land a job?… By word of mouth. 
  98. Happy Labor Day to all the moms out there… We appreciate everything you went through! 
  99. Navy Jokes: Working for the Navy pays just enough to stay afloat.
  100. What do you call a snake that works for the Government?… A Civil Serpent. 
  101. Plumber Jokes: Why was the plumber depressed?… His career was going down the toilet.
  102. Mailman Jokes: I got a job with the Postal Service so I could tell people I’m a mail escort.
  103. Cape Cod Jokes: Where does seaweed look for a job?… In the ‘Kelp-wanted’ ads.
  104. Jokes for the 1st Day of School: Teachers always seem happy on the 1st day of school. That’s because they’re getting paid to be there. We kids have to do it for free.
  105. Spiderman Jokes: Guess which Avenger paid the least taxes this year?… Spiderman, because his entire income was net income.
  106. My coworkers tell me I’m condescending… That means I talk down to people.
  107. What did you do before becoming a dentist?… “I was in the army… I was a drill sergeant.” 
  108. What do nuclear plants serve their workers for the Labor Day cookout?… Fission Chips. 
  109. Why is it so difficult to work at an apple pie factory?… Because they have such a high turnover rate! 
  110. Doctor Jokes: What job has you asking people to pick their noses?… Plastic surgeon.
  111. Doctor Jokes: Why do the employees get sick on Labor Day Weekend?… Weekend immune system.
  112. What do construction workers do at Labor Day parties?… Raise the roof. 
  113. Two workers decided to get married right after Labor Day… The wedding guests said their union was beautiful. 
  114. Psychology Jokes: I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because it was a sew-sew  job, de-pleating and de-pressing.
  115. Navy Jokes: I thought about joining the Navy to be on a submarine… But I changed my mind, I had a sinking feeling about that  career path.
  116. I love being a maze designer… I get completely lost in my work.
  117. Teacher Jokes for September: What did the custodian say when he jumped out of the closet?… Supplies!
  118. Can you still “work it” on Labor Day? 
  119. Why did the Hobbit get a job at Burger King?… He wanted to be “Lord of the Onion Rings.” 
  120. Why are bees good at job interviews?… Because they know all of the buzz-words. 
  121. I am aspirin’ to be a professional pharmacist. 
  122. New England Patriots Jokes: Why is Tom Brady against raising the federal minimum wage?… He doesn’t want things to get too inflated.
  123. Plumber Jokes: Why was the plumber depressed?… His career was going down the toilet.
  124. Space Force Jokes: So I decided to join the Space Force today… I immediately got promoted because I have apparently been a space cadet for most of my life.
  125. Dad Jokes: Father: Do you know, most people don’t have to work today, because it’s Labor Day. Son: If people are not working, shouldn’t we call today ‘No-Labor Day?’
  126. What do biologists wear to work on Casual Friday?… Genes.
  127. Ice Cream Jokes: I have a lactose intolerant friend who sells ice cream for a living. He can’t take it… but he can dish it out.
  128. What do you call a magician who’s lost his magic?… Ian.
  129. I liked my job as a bank teller… until I lost interest.
  130. Grandparent Jokes: What did grandma say about her career as a young girl?… “I worked at the shoe showroom, and then they gave me the boot.”
  131. I got a job as a pencil sharpener… I would tell you about it but you wouldn’t get the point. 
  132. My Dad was a Christmas tree salesman…. Before he started work he always got himself spruced up. 
  133. I started working as a plumber… Now my whole career is in the toilet.
  134. Buck Moon Jokes: What is an investor’s favorite full moon?… The “Buck” Moon!
  135. What do you call a guitar that never finishes a job?… a quitar! 
  136. Navy Jokes: A cool job that sounds lame: Building boats for the Navy… You’d be a subcontractor. 
  137. Dog Jokes: I recently got hired as a USPS mailman. I was really excited about it, but my dog wouldn’t talk to me for a week afterwards!
  138. Presidents’ Day Jokes: Which U.S. president got the job online?… Abraham LinkedIn.
  139. Retirement Jokes: I stopped doing handyman work… I couldn’t live on a fixed income.
  140. Movie Jokes: I tried being a movie extra… but it wasn’t my scene.
  141. Teacher Jokes for September: I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my principal, my faculties, and my class.
  142. Pancake Jokes: My successful pancake business was recently shut down… Someone tipped off the police that I was selling them hot.
  143. How do pumpkins get to work?… Autumn-mobiles.
  144. March Madness Basketball Jokes: Filling out an office pool for March Madness is the most work I have done in the office since last March.
  145. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me the history of Labor Day? 
  146. What did the farmer say to his workers on Labor Day?… “I don’t carrot all, take the day off and lettuce celebrate!” 
  147. Maine Tourist: “Nice little town, so old & quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.”
  148. Indiana Jones Jokes: Why is Indiana Jones sad?… Because his career is in ruins. 
  149. My career at the stationery company isn’t going anywhere.
  150. 2 bankers went to a taqueria & ordered 2 drinks. Then they produced tacos from their briefcases & started to eat! The waiter was concerned & told them, “You can’t eat your own tacos!” The bankers looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders & then exchanged tacos.
  151. 1st worker: “I am still tired from all the CrossFit this morning.” Co-worker: “It’s pronounced ‘Croissant’ and you ate 4 of them.”
  152. My  career at the stationery bike company isn’t going anywhere.
  153. Lord of the Rings Jokes: I’m throwing a Labor Day hobbit party… It’s just a little get-together! 
  154. Now that I’ve gotten into astronomy… my whole career is looking up.
  155. If a train station is where the train stops, and a bus station is where the bus stops… What is a work station?
  156. Psychology Jokes: Why did the can crusher quit this  job?… It was soda pressing.
  157. My Labor Day is shaping up to be busier than any work day this year.
  158. Hot Dog Jokes: Why did the disgruntled hot dog vendor quit his job?… He just didn’t relish it. 
  159. I thought about becoming a witch… so I tried that for a spell.
  160. If Wonder Woman and Spiderman went into business together… Would they call it Amazon Web Services?
  161. My wife tells me I talk in my sleep all the time, but I’m skeptical… Nobody at work has mentioned it.
  162. Lobster Jokes: Lobster Pun: The lobster said it’d be hard for him to retire… as he was tide to his company. 
  163. I used to own a paper company… but it folded.
  164. How does a pencil hire workers?… He appoints them. 
  165. I kneaded dough… so I got a job as a baker.
  166. I keep trying to start an airline… but it never takes off.
  167. Why did the elephants go on strike?… They work for peanuts.
  168. My local pizza place is struggling to stay afloat…They really knead the dough! 
  169. Why was the ghost so tired?… He worked the graveyard shift. 
  170. Which Star Wars character works at a restaurant?… Darth Waiter! 
  171. Cinco De Mayo Jokes: Taco chefs earn a meager celery, cumin home beat, they just want to read the pepper, and spend a little thyme with the kids.
  172. Second Amendment: If you are against the second amendment… you could get fired. 
  173. Why should pirates work for FedEx?… They have the fastest ships in the shipping business. 
  174. Our computers went down at work today, so we had to do everything by hand. It took me 15 minutes to shuffle the cards for solitaire.
  175. What do coffee shop workers say on Monday?… Well, it’s back to the old grind! 
  176. What job did SpidervMan apply for on Indeed?… Web developer.  
  177. Why did the lawnmower stop working on Labor Day?… It was tired of getting pushed around. 
  178. You know, I used to be a teacher, but found out I didn’t have enough class… 
  179. I never became professional badminton player?… I was too high strung.
  180. Why was the cross-eyed math teacher fired on the 1st day of school?… She lost control of her pupils. 
  181. Teacher Jokes for September: “Labor Day is a glorious holiday because your child will be going back to school the next day. It would have been called Independence Day, but that name was already taken.” Bill Dodds 
  182. Cinco De Mayo Jokes: The taco chef hasn’t turned up to work for a week…. He has a bad queso Covid. 
  183. Why did the Summer Camp counselor quit his job?… Because it was always in tents! 
  184. Hot Dog Jokes: She got fired from her job as a hot dog vendor because she put her hair in a bun. 
  185. I got fired after one day on the bomb squad… but I had a blast.
  186. The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.
  187. My dear old grandmother always used to say the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach…. That’s why she lost her job as a cardiac surgeon. 
  188. How’s the fireworks business?… Booming!!
  189. Why can’t carpenters play hockey?… They always gets nailed to the boards. 
  190. I recently got fired as an architect… An earthquake came and the building collapsed because it wasn’t stabilized and I said it wasn’t my fault. 
  191. Why did the tiler want to work on Labor Day?… Fear of missing grout. 
  192. In  college I interned for a company that sold vaults… I really treasured my time. 
  193. I was fired from the ice cream factory… just because I refused to work on a sundae. 
  194. I was a maze designer. It didn’t work out… I got lost in my own work.
  195. The corn stalk decided to change  careers… He went into a completely different field. 
  196. Why did the Minion give up work?… The hours were just too Gru-eling.
  197. Why do we have Labor Day in September?… Because May Day was already taken!
  198. I never set my clock back for Daylight Savings… it’s the only day of the year that I’m early to work.
  199. “I’m a firm believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.” Thomas Jefferson
  200. Why did the electrician stay home on Labor Day?… He needed to recharge his batteries. 
  201. Summer Jokes: What is Labor Day?… A celebration that the pressure to lose weight for the summer is finally over. 
  202. I tried to start an online bakery… But I accidentally deleted all my  cookies. 
  203. I wanted to join the Navy… But that ship has sailed… I’ll sea myself out.   
  204. Sunglasses manufacturers and Hitmen have something in common… They are both into shady business. 
  205. Lobster Jokes: Lobster Pun: Since the crustacean was late for work every day… she lobster job.
  206. The shark is out of work right now, but don’t worry… he’s collecting workers chomp. 
  207. Getting a divorce is like getting fired from a job you’ve hated for years. 
  208. My boss made me go into the office on Labor Day. Halfway through the day, he came in to check up on me and caught me having a beer.  He said to me, “You can’t drink while you’re working.”  I said, “Oh, don’t worry – I’m not working.” 
  209. I became a chef after I left the army… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. 
  210. Why did the camp ranger quit his job?… Because it was always in tents!
  211. Where do pumpkins hold meetings?… In the gourdroom.
  212. Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.
  213. How did the tree get the job?… It had the right qua-leaf-ications. 
  214. Why shouldn’t you go into business with a watermelon?… They’re seedy. 
  215. Why did the computer programmer take the day off on Labor Day?… Because he needed a byte to eat!  
  216. Why was the lamp store open only on weekends?… Business was light.
  217. I get plenty of exercise at work… I’m always jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
  218. I wish I made enough money from my labor to be able to afford a Labor Day vacation.
  219. I always tell new hires, “Don’t think of me as your boss but as a friend who can fire you.”
  220. These funny Labor Day jokes are on a fixed income.
  221. Christmas Jokes: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?… You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
  222. Working on a ship pays just enough to stay afloat.
  223. One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.  However, the only person to get his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.
  224. What do you call Santa when he’s on break?… Santa pause.
  225. I had to quit my job at the helium factory… I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.
  226. I started my business with nothing… and I still have most of it.
  227. Sure I’m willing to work longer hours at work… As long as they’re lunch hours.
  228. To err is human… To blame it on someone else shows management potential.
  229. I told a joke during our zoom call today… It wasn’t even remotely funny.
  230. Why are trees the best networkers?… They’re constantly branching out! 
  231. I used to be a professional butt model… It was my carear.
  232. Tree Jokes: What is an aborist’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber!
  233. Why did the artist take the day off on Labor Day?… He needed to brush up on his skills. 
  234. If I had a dollar every time a customer complained about the price of cinema food… I could almost afford a small popcorn. 
  235. Weren’t you a professional lobsterman?… Yes, but it seems that living on my net income was harder than I thought beforehand. 
  236. In which part of the bread factory do lobsters work?… The crust station. 
  237. I got a  job as an astronomer… My  career was looking up. 
  238. What do you call a sick co-worker?… Staff infection. 
  239. Why did Grandma leave the job at the glue factory?… She could not stick with it.
  240. Why did the librarian take Labor Day off?… She needed to book some fun into her schedule. 
  241. Freddy Krueger got a job offer to clean mirrors… He took it because it’s something he can see himself doing. 
  242. The Labor Day holiday means I get my unemployment check a day late. 
  243. Why is the archeologist depressed?… Because his career is in ruins.
  244. I’m about to lose my job in the Navy unless I make some drastic changes… I have to take a course in anchor management. 
  245. Why did the scarecrow win an award?… Because he was outstanding in his field. 
  246. I was offered a job at the local ice cream shop but I turned it down. I don’t like working on sundaes. 
  247. 7-year old niece: Is Aunty having her baby today?… Because you said today is Labor Day! 
  248. Why did the Summer Camp director quit his job?… Because it was always in tents!
  249. Why did the company hire a lacrosse player?… They needed help cutting corners.  
  250. There’s a new serial killer in town who works at the bakery… They call him Bready Kruger. 
  251. What did the construction worker and pregnant lady have in common?… They were both in labor. 
  252. What do you say to an ice cream who just got promoted?… Cone-gratulations! 
  253. Next time you see a roofer… Look up to them.
  254. What happened to the gun at summer camp?… He got FIRED!
  255. Dr. Seuss Jokes: Today I learned that Dr. Seuss’ mom was a pioneer in physiotherapy… Ma Seuss.
  256. How do we know that soccer referees are happy?…. Because they whistle while they work.
  257. Little League World Series Jokes: Boerne, Texas… the unofficial Little League team of Labor Day.
  258. Why did the jockey bring a briefcase to the track?… He heard there would be a lot of horse business.
  259. Baseball Jokes: This really was supposed to be a joke! Why did the MLB baseball manager get fired?… for stealing signs.
  260. Doctor Jokes: Why do the employees get sick on Labor Day Weekend?… Weekend immune system.
  261. Lord of the Rings Jokes: Why did the Balrog get a job at the circus?… He was a “fire”-breather!
  262. Lobster Jokes: Lobster Pun: Since the crustacean was late for work every day… She lobster job.
  263. Meatball Jokes: Why was the meatball so calm?… It knew how to meat deadlines!
  264. Lord of the Rings Jokes: Why did the Balrog get a job at the barbecue joint?… He knew how to “heat” things up!
  265. Pilgrim Jokes: Why didn’t the Pilgrim want to make the bread?… It’s a crummy job.
  266. Lord of the Rings Jokes: Why did Legolas open a bakery?… He wanted to share his “elf”-made pastries!
  267. Labor Day Jokes: Why did the Winter Solstice get promoted?… Because it was at its peak performance!
  268. Lord of the Rings Jokes: Why did the Balrog get a job at the circus?… He was a “fire”-breather!
  269. Labor Day Jokes: Why did the Summer Solstice get promoted?… Because it was at its peak performance!
  270. Lord of the Rings Jokes: Why is Gandalf’s cupcake shop so successful?… Because he has a magical staff. 
  271. Lord of the Rings Jokes: Why is Gandalf’s bakery shop so successful?… Because he has a magical staff. 
  272. Lord of the Rings Jokes: Why is Gandalf’s restaurant so successful?… Because he has a magical staff. 
  273. Lord of the Rings Jokes: Why did Legolas become a motivational speaker?… He always hit the “target!”
  274. Cinco De Mayo Jokes: What is the similarity between Labor Day and Cinco de Mayo?… Only one, both are not celebrated by the Mexicans. 
  275. Lord of the Rings Jokes: Why did the orc start a vineyard?… He wanted to make “blood-red” wine!
  276. Lord of the Rings Jokes: Why did the Balrog get a job at the bakery?… Because he’s a real “flame” master!
  277. Jaws Jokes: Bruce, the shark from Jaws, has been out of work for some time now, but don’t worry… he’s collecting workers’ chomp. 
  278. September Jokes for Teachers: How many teachers work in your school?… About half.
  279. Lord of the Rings Jokes: Employee: Gandalf once said ‘A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.’ Boss: You’re still fired! 
  280. My coworker was fired on Leap Day, apparently he picked the wrong time to jump off the deep end. 
  281. Why did the insurance agent take the day off on Labor Day?… She needed to insure her own well-being. 
  282. Did you hear about the tree that had to take time off of work in autumn?… It was on paid leaf. 
  283. My Dad used to work all day grinding up tree bark and branches… He was always a chipper guy. 
  284. Why do figure skaters work in bakeries when they retire?…They’re great at icing cakes.
  285. Why do giraffes make bad bosses?… Because they can’t see eye-to-eye with their employees! 
  286. Why did the baker stop making donuts, cakes & cupcakes?… He was fed up with the hole business! 
  287. This Labor Day, take comfort in the knowledge that the pressure to have fun this summer is finally off.
  288. When I grow up I want to be a veterinarian then go into the army, and become a veteran so I can become…A Vet Vet. 
  289. I called the local gym asking if they can train me to do gymnastics. They said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I’m free Monday, Tuesday, and Friday.” 
  290. Why didn’t the government pay attention to the issues of the local workers who worked in caves on Labor Day?… They considered them miner issues. 
  291. Why has a dentist’s  job gotten so much easier?… Because all the kids are flossing all the time now! 
  292. On one hand, I should be more focused on my job as a shark feeder at Sea World. On the other h. . . AARGH!!! 
  293. Why did the man go into the pizza business?… He wanted to make some dough. 
  294. As I have gotten older & wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays and of course retirement.” Tom Goins 
  295. Why don’t comedians celebrate Labor Day?… They’re always working on their jokes! 
  296. What happened when a Maine fisherman was late to work?… She lobster job. 
  297. Why do construction crews on Mt. Rushmore have such a hard time figuring out who the boss is?… Because it’s covered with foremen. 
  298. Why did the mathematician take the day off on Labor Day?… She needed to factor in some relaxation time.
  299. Why did the musician take the day off on Labor Day?… He needed to rest his keys. 
  300. What did the out of work rat write on his cardboard scrap?… Don’t mind pressing a lever for food. 
  301. I’m good at fireworks displays… I’ve got a flare for it. 
  302. Why did the firefighter take Labor Day off?… He needed to extinguish his stress. 
  303. Previously a baker, I struggled to make enough dough. Now, as a watermelon farmer, the business is thriving and juicy.
  304. Why did the plumber take Labor Day off?… He needed to drain the stress out of his system. 
  305. I thought about being a history major, but I couldn’t see a future in it.
  306. Why did the robot take the day off on Labor Day?… He needed to recharge his batteries. 
  307. Why did the tree have to go to work every day this fall?… Because he couldn’t get any autumn leaves.
  308. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you take me to a Labor Day Cookout? 
  309. Daylight Savings Time: I can’t believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in. 
  310. I got thrown out of the cinema for throwing popcorn at the back of people’s heads… I also lost my job behind the popcorn counter. 
  311. Why were the police on a lookout for the maze designer?… He had gotten lost in his own work.
  312. Why did the mechanic take Labor Day off?… He needed to oil up his engine and recharge his batteries. 
  313. What month should you never ask to the work overtime?… “NO” vember. 
  314. How do they hire Super Bowl referees?… With stilts. 
  315. Why did the lifeguard take Labor Day off?… He needed a day to shore up his energy and catch some rays.
  316. Why did the carpenter take time off on Labor Day?… He needed to hammer out his vacation plans. 
  317. What did the pilot say when he hadn’t studied for his big airlines exam?… I’m just going to wing it.
  318. My successful pancake business was recently shut down… Someone tipped off the police that I was selling them hot. 
  319. Getting a job in the Arctic in the winter is great! Why?…  When the days get short, you only have to work a 30 minute work week. 
  320. Ski Pun: I used to be a professional ski athlete… It just went downhill from there. 
  321. Why did the landscaper take Labor Day off?… He needed to mow down his stress. 
  322. Why did the dentist take Labor Day off?… She needed to floss her mind. 
  323. Why can’t croissant dough hold a steady job?… Because it’s always getting baked.
  324. Why did the chef take the day off on Labor Day?… Because he needed to knead his dough. 
  325. Why did the mailman take the day off on Labor Day?… He needed to deliver himself from exhaustion. 
  326. Weren’t you a professional lobster fisherman?… Yes, but it seems that living on my net income was harder than I thought beforehand. 
  327. How many people work in your company?… About half.
  328. Why you gotta be jalapeño in my business?… I’m nacho sure I want to taco bout it.
  329. Why did the baker open a tortilla factory?… For the extra dough!
  330. Why do managers never go bowling with their employees?… Because they are afraid of them striking.
  331. Why did the teacher take the day off on Labor Day?… She needed to grade herself on her time management skills. 
  332. Why did the #scientist take the day off on Labor Day?… She needed to experiment with some fun! 
  333. Why did the dentist take the day off on Labor Day?… He needed to brush up on his relaxation skills. 
  334. Why did the #chef take the day off on Labor Day?… She needed to cook up some fun. 
  335. Why did the #gardener take the day off on Labor Day? He needed to plant himself on the couch. 
  336. Why did the #astronaut take the day off on Labor Day?… He needed to take a giant leap into #relaxation. 
  337. Why did the banker take the day off on Labor Day? She needed to deposit some #relaxation time in her schedule. 
  338. Why did the #lawyer take the day off on Labor Day?… He needed to argue his case for #relaxation. 
  339. Word-of-mouth was how I got my  job at the dentist’s office. 
  340. My business selling palm trees wasn’t a success… People thought I was offering them a shady deal. 
  341. Why did the police officer take the day off on Labor Day?… She needed to patrol her own well-being. 
  342. What do you get when you cross Labor Day with a frog?… A day off that really jumps! 
  343. I’m so tired from working, I could sleep through Labor Day! 
  344. I don’t always take time off work, but when I do, it’s for Labor Day. 
  345. How do you know if your boss is a vampire?… They hate sunlight and love to suck the life out of labor! 
  346. What did the big flower say to the little #flower on Labor Day? “You need to branch out and take a day off!” 
  347. What do you call a pizza maker who works on Labor Day?… A slice of life! 
  348. How do you know people who write instructions for places like #KEA must be in good shape?… All that manual labor. 
  349. Why was the tunnel worker unhappy on Labor Day?… Because he was working with a boring machine. 
  350. Why did the stand-up comedian’s joke on Labor Day didn’t work out?… Guess it was because he was preoccupied. 
  351. Why are elephants always so broke?… They work for peanuts.
  352. Why did the elephants leave the circus?… They work for peanuts.
  353. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe pick up some pizza on your way home from work? 
  354. I never became professional pickleball player?… I was too high strung. 
  355. How do they hire a NBA draft pick?… With stilts. 
  356. What do hamburger workers say on Monday morning?… Well, it’s back to the old grind! 
  357. What should Apple gift their employees on Labor Day?… Windows since they work in the dark.
  358. What do you call a group of sleeping union workers on Labor Day?.. A napkin! 
  359. What can you expect from the FEMA float at Mardi Gras this year?… No one knows, it’s not expected ’til labor day!
  360. Why shouldn’t people with a mean attitude become masseurs?… Nobody wants to be rubbed the wrong way. 
  361. What month should you never ask to the work the clock at a basketball game?… “NO” vember. 
  362. What’s a drill team?… A group of dentists who work together. 
  363. What did the sun say to the moon on the day of the solar eclipse?… “Looks like it’s my night off.”
  364. Have you ever been to a hot dog factory?… No, I haven’t sausage a place.
  365. Dentists practice the trade by going through many drills. 
  366. What do you get when you cross Labor Day with a potato?… A day to rest and hash out your problems. 
  367. How do ice-cream flavors get promoted?… By selling out! 
  368. What’s an electrician’s favorite ice cream flavor?… Shock a lot. 
  369. Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania?… Dracula’s dentist!
  370. Why was the scarecrow awarded the best employee on International Workers’ Day?… He was out-standing in his field.
  371. Why did the nurse take Labor Day off?… She needed to take a break and check her pulse. 
  372. How did the apple tree get the job?… It had the right qua-leaf-ications.
  373. Why isn’t the squirrel hard at#work collecting acorns at the oak tree?… She called in sick and went to the beech. 
  374. Why did the zookeeper refuse to work the elephant enclosure?… The work kept piling up. 
  375. More companies should launch products on April Fools Day… so that if they aren’t well-received, they can say it was just a prank. 
  376. Why did the office worker take Labor Day off?… He needed a day to file away his stress. 
  377. What did the elephant do to unwind after work?… He watched ele-vision! 
  378. My wife came home from work yesterday and was raging about her boss. She said to me, “I’m never going to work for that man again!.” I asked her, “Why, what did he say to you?”  She said, “You’re fired.”
  379. The taco chef hasn’t turned up to work for a week…. He has a bad queso the #lu. 
  380. What do you call a group of union workers on Labor Day?… A day of rest-olution! 
  381. Why did the electrician take the day off on Labor Day?… He needed to rewire his brain.
  382. Being unemployed has really helped to lower my carbon footprint. 
  383. I never became professional tennis player?… I was too high strung.
  384. Whom did the electrician union invite on Labor Day weekend event?… AC/DC!
  385. Did my wife tell you about a Labor day joke?… It didn’t work for her.
  386. Which engineers were the most friendliest at the Labor Day BBQ?… Of course, civil engineers.
  387. Teacher: Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory? Middle School Student: I don’t know. Why? Teacher: Because you can’t concentrate! 
  388. What should you not think about on Labor Day?… That the next holiday is Thanksgiving.
  389. What did the hammerhead’s boss say when he did a good  job?… “You nailed it!”
  390. I think I want to quit my real estate job. I’d rather clean mirrors for a living…. It’s just something I can see myself doing.
  391. What can you use to light fireworks?… Well, fire works.
  392. How do you make a taco stand?… You take away it’s chair.
  393. There’s nothing to do on La-bore Day.
  394. Who invented Daylight Saving Time?… A guy who was an hour late to work one day.
  395. If all #wealth is gained through #labor… why is it that the wealthy never have to do any? 
  396. What happened to the pottery at summer camp?… He got fired! 
  397. If a monster’s working week begins on a Moan Day, when does it end?… On a Fright day. 
  398. I thought about being a middle school history teacher… but I couldn’t see a future in it. 
  399. A pyrotechnic expert friend of mine lost his job after the fireworks didn’t go off in the right sequence. 
  400. The best way to celebrate Labor Day is by filing for unemployment.
  401. Why can’t cookie dough hold a steady job?… Because it’s always getting baked. 
  402. As soon as the 2017 inauguration is over, I’m getting a position on Trump’s ethics committee… I’m not political, I just need some quiet time alone.
  403. The date is 20 January 2017. Donald Trump has just been sworn in as President. He walks to the mic for his inauguration speech. He looks at Obama and says “You’re Fired!”
  404. Vladimir Putin has announced that he will be resigning as the President of Russia in January… He Putin his two month notice.
  405. I thought about being an elementary school history teacher… but I couldn’t see a future in it. 
  406. Why are hot dogs angry?… They are always getting roasted.
  407. Why did the teacher take Labor Day off?… She needed a break from grading all those papers.
  408. What job did the Cat in the Hat have at the circus?… Acrocat.
  409. What’s an unemployed person’s favorite cookie?… Pooreo’s.
  410. What’s the hardest trick in skateboarding?… Getting a job.
  411. Daughter: Is Auntie having her baby today? Mother:  Why did you think she is about to give birth? Daughter:  Because you said today was Labor Day!
  412. Grandpa: “I used to have an origami business.” Grandson: “What happened to it?” Grandpa: “It folded!”
  413. Why was the pregnant woman worried?… She’d told her husband it was Labor day and instead of coming to the hospital, he’d gone straight home!
  414. I got a job as a banker. I quit on the first week of his new job… I just didn’t have a lot of interest in it.
  415. Why did the astrologer not choose to become a historian when he was in high school?… He didn’t see a future in that field.
  416. Most people enjoy a day off on the 4th of July except fire… Fire works on the 4th of July.
  417. A worker was annoyed about only being allowed to use his left arm during work… He didn’t want to give up his rights.
  418. I am really excited about buying my first broom for my job as a cleaner… I was finally in the in-dust-ry.
  419. This Labor Day let’s salute American corporations for keeping the Chinese gainfully employed.
  420. The best day at work will never be as good as your worst day surfing.
  421. What do lawyers wear to work on Labor Day?… A lawsuit.
  422. Why did ancient Egyptians have a hard time recruiting laborers?… It was a pyramid scheme.
  423. What is Hercules’ favorite holiday?… Labor Day.
  424. What is a pregnant woman’s favorite holiday?… Labor Day. 
  425. What do you call a lazy kangaroo on Labor Day?… A pouch potato!
  426. Why did the union refuse to march on Labor Day?… They needed a day off.
  427. I had a terrible Labor Day weekend.  My wife was in a horrible car crash and lost her left leg and left arm.  She’s all right now.
  428. What do you call a group of workers who refuse to take a break on Labor Day?… Workaholics! 
  429. What do you get when you cross Labor Day with a golfer?… A day to tee off and relax. 
  430. How do ice-creams get to work?… The ice-cream van!
  431. What did the businesswoman say?… We’re in bees-ness now!
  432. What did the painter say to the wall on Labor Day? “Let’s take a break and enjoy the day off!” 
  433. Why did the painter take Labor Day off?… He needed to brush up on his relaxation skills.
  434. What do you call a factory worker who takes a day off? Unemployed on Labor Day! 
  435. Why did the grilled cheese sandwich maker get promoted?… He did a really gouda  job at work.
  436. What is tomorrow if today is Cinco de Mayo?… Lieo de Boss
  437. The medicine factory was so quiet on Labor Day… you could hear a cough drop.
  438. I took a job as an upholsterer… but I never recovered.
  439. Lawyer Jokes: How did the hot dog get the job despite having a criminal record?… It was a misde-wiener.
  440. I studied to become a doctor… but I didn’t have enough patients for the job.
  441. I became a Velcro salesman… but I couldn’t stick with it.
  442. I worked in a shoe factory, but I just didn’t fit in. They thought I was a loafer, and I got the boot.
  443. If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end… it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
  444. I tried my hand at a professional  career in tennis, but it wasn’t my racket… I was too high strung.
  445. Buck Moon Jokes: What is a banker’s favorite full moon?… The “Buck” Moon!
  446. I was a pilot, but tended to wing it, and… I didn’t have the right altitude.
  447. If today is labor day… how many babies were born?
  448. I became a personal trainer in a gym… but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
  449. I thought about being a historian… but I couldn’t see a future in it.
  450. Cape Cod Jokes: Where do Cape Cod fish work?… The Offish!
  451. I tried being a fireman… but I suffered burnout.
  452. I asked a little girl do you know why we get out of school for Labor Day? She was very enthusiastic to say “It is a time when all the mommies of the world go into labor.”
  453. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company…. but the work was just too draining
  454. I worked at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
  455. Why are locksmiths open on Labor Day?… They are key workers.
  456. I became a baker, but it wasn’t a cakewalk, and I couldn’t make enough dough… They fired me after I left a cake out in the rain.
  457. Why did the calendar factory worker get fired?… He took Labor Day off.
  458. Chocolate Chip Cookie Jokes: I’m making a cookie brand called NIT (new incredible taste). It will be shaped like a chocolate chip cookie and will contain a fortune on the bottom… FortuneNIT for you.
  459. I was an electrician, but I found the work shocking and revolting, so they discharged me.
  460. I turned to farming… but I wasn’t outstanding in my field.
  461. Since I became a lumberjack I have cut down 2,854 #trees… I know this because every time I cut one down I keep a log.
  462. I took a job as an elevator operator. The job had its ups and downs… then I got the shaft.
  463. I sold origami… but the business folded.
  464. I took a job at UPS… but I couldn’t express myself.
  465. Why did the submarine get a promotion?… It knew how to dive right into problems.
  466. I became a banker, but I lacked interest and maturity, and finally withdrew from the job.
  467. I was a professional fisherman… but I couldn’t live on my net income.
  468. So I’ve retired, and I find I’m a perfect fit for this job!
  469. Summer Solstice Jokes: Why did the Summer Solstice get promoted?… Because it was at its peak performance!
  470. Did you hear the joke about Labor Day?… It works for me!
  471. Why don’t comedians tell jokes about Labor Day?… They don’t work.
  472. Why aren’t boys born on Labor Day?… There’s no male delivery.
  473. When is Labor Day?… About 9 months after Father’s Day.
  474. Lord of the Rings Jokes: Why was Gandalf hunched over and stressed out?… He was short-staffed! 
  475. Labor Day Jokes: Why did the bald eagle start a business?… Because he wanted to soar to new heights!
  476. Dog Jokes: Why did the dog go to grad school?… To become a bark-chitect.
  477. Dog Jokes: What’s a dog’s ideal  job?… Barkeology. 
  478. Labor Day Jokes: Why did the bald eagle apply for a job?… Because it needed to make some soaring income!
  479. What day are the most babies are born?… Labor Day.
  480. I thought about being a history teacher, but I couldn’t see a future in it. (Top Social Studies Jokes)
  481. I tried my hand at a professional career in racquetball, but it wasn’t my racket. I was too high strung.
  482. I tried my hand at a professional career in table tennis, but it wasn’t my racket. I was too high strung. 
  483. My mother was scared for me when I joined the Navy. It makes sense, my father was a telegraph operator in the navy and he got lost at C.
  484. Hard work pays off in the future… laziness pays off now.
  485. Lord of the Rings Jokes: Gandalf was very unhappy at work… He couldn’t find his staff! 
  486. Lord of the Rings Jokes: What do you get when Gandalf and Bilbo are your network engineers?… A Tolkien Ring Network. 
  487. Lord of the Rings Jokes: What is an accountant’s favorite Lord of the Rings movie?… The Return of the King.
  488. Music Jokes: What is a florist’s least favorite band?… Badflower.
  489. Little League World Series Jokes: Which 2025 Little League World Series team was a favorite of arborists?… Brain TREE.
  490. Boston Red Sox Jokes: What do the Boston Red Sox and lawn furniture have in common?… They both fold and end up in the cellar after Labor Day!
  491. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have so many Labor Day Jokes?
  492. I’m staying in bed all day… It’s Lay-bor Day.
  493. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have so many Labor Day Jokes?
  494. Do pigs celebrate La-boar Day?
  495. Do you know what they say about a clean desk?… It’s a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
  496. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have so many Labor Day Jokes?
  497. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have so many Labor Day Jokes?
  498. Why did Gandalf turn down a job offer?… Because he was looking for more “wizardly” benefits!
  499. Why did the hobbit start a gardening business?… He had a “green” thumb and a golden “ring!”