Lord of the Rings Jokes

by | Jul 28, 2020 | Dads, Education, Latest News, School Jokes, Uncategorized | 0 comments

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Google Search “Lord of the Rings Jokes”

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Lord of the Rings jokes. 
  2. I would tell some good Lord of the Rings jokes… But all the good ones ara-gone! 
  3. I went to an Apple Store and set up alarms on all of the phones…. I was Lord of the rings! 
  4. Lord of the Rings Life Lesson: Man puts ring on finger, slowly goes insane! 
  5. What is Gandalf’s favorite band?… The Eagles!
  6. How did Frodo Baggins know when his neighbor had died?… He read it in the Hobbituary.
  7. Did you know that all of the Hobbit films were recorded in L.A.?… Yeah, you could tell by the Smaug.
  8. Check out the Movie Review for The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning jewelry.
  9. Why did the Lord of the Rings author got kicked out of the movie theater… He was Tolkien all the way through!
  10. I was once obsessed with “The Lord of the Rings”. The books, the movies, the collectables, everything… Finally I was able to kick the hobbit. 
  11. What does Gandalf say when he wants to go shopping?… One ring to rule the mall! 
  12. The Hobbit pinball machine is AMAZING… It doesn’t accept any coins though, only a Tolkien.
  13. I like it when people call me Precious… It has such a nice ring to it!
  14. Robert de Niro is playing the lead role in the upcoming movie about “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy. The movie is called “You Tolkien to me?” 
  15. I’ve been reading ‘Lord Of The Rings’ and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life… Must be the same ring I put on when I got married.
  16. Do you think Daniel Radcliffe could ever play a hobbit?… No, but Elijah Would! 
  17. How did the hobbit ruin the boxing match?… He tried to destroy the ring! 
  18. Why did the Best Man go to Mount Doom?… Because he was the Ring-bearer! 
  19. I’m throwing a hobbit Christmas party… It’s just a little get-together!
  20. My teacher must really like Lord of the Rings… Whenever I ask about my grades she just says “You shall not pass!”
  21. Why don’t you ask a hobbit for money?… Because they’re always a little short.
  22. Dancing trees?… Now that’s ENT-ertainment. 
  23. A human, an elf and an orc walk into a bar…The Hobbit laughs and walks under it! 
  24. I’m going to a Lord of the Rings themed Xmas party… I’m going to eat and be merry! 
  25. Why are Hobbit doors round?… If you ate seven meals a day you’d need round doors too! 
  26. What do you call a movie about a gangster hobbit?… Yolo Swaggins and the Fellowship of the Bling. 
  27. Hobbits are really good people… they don’t look down on anyone. 
  28. Why should you try to be nice to a hobbit?… Because he’s got a short temper.
  29. Where do Hobbits ride horses?… At the Frodeo. 
  30. Which Lord of the Rings character has no toys to play with?… Legoless! 
  31.  What did Gandalf say when an onion tried to cross the bridge?… You shallot pass! 
  32. What time did Tolkien finish Lord of the Rings?… At elven o’clock! 
  33. What do you call a chubby hobbit?… Low Fat. 
  34. I belong to a Lord of the Rings Society, and we have a secret sign… It is a Tolkien gesture.
  35. What do you call a hobbit eating at KFC?… Lord of the Wings.
  36. Hey, Gandalf! What’s your favorite kind of insect?… FLY, YOU FOOLS! 
  37. I bought myself a 6 ft boomerang with Lord of the Rings characters on it… It’s really hard to Frodo! 
  38. What do you call a balrog wearing earmuffs?… Anything you want – it can’t hear you! 
  39. How do you cross a troll bridge in MiddleEarth?… You use J.R.R. tokens! 
  40. What is the best book to read in autumn?… Gourd of the Rings.
  41. What was Frodo at Aragorn and Arwen’s wedding?… The Ring-bearer! 
  42. What do you call a Lord of Rings fan with a sprained ankle?… A hobblit.
  43. Why was Gandalf hunched over and stressed out?… He was short-staffed! 
  44. Bruce Willis has been cast to play the lead role in the upcoming Lord of the Rings sequel… Old Hobbits Die Hard. 
  45. What is Gollum’s favorite bird?… A smea-gull. 
  46. What do you call a wizard who can hit a white ball with a club?… Cangolf! 
  47. My dad set up a booth at a Renaissance Fair where people can dress up as Frodo from Lord of the Rings exclusively… It was his Frodo-Booth. 
  48. How many quarters does it take to play the Lord of the Rings pinball game?… None, it takes Tolkiens!
  49. What is the Witch-king’s favorite book?… The Grapes of Wraith!
  50. I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday… I ran 26 miles dressed up as Frodo Baggins! 
  51. Why can’t you stop making Frodo gnome garden statues?… Because it’s so hobbit forming! 
  52. Three movies are a bit much for The Hobbit… They seem to be really dragon it out! 
  53. Why did they come out with a Lord of the Rings movie?…The fans were Baggins for it.
  54. Hand. Hand. River. Dirt. Gollum. Hobbits. Pockets. Pockets. Finger. Envelope. Fire. Hand. Neck. Neck. Finger. Hobbits. Neck. Neck. Neck. Pocket. Finger. LAVA… The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, from the perspective of the ring 
  55. What did the drunken little hobbit say when he bumped into the wizard?… Saruman, I didn’t see you standing there!
  56. Why was Frodo the best burglar?… Because he was always up to Mordor.
  57. I want to make a Lord of the Rings themed metal band called Nightmare on Helm’s Deep. 
  58. What do you call a Hobbit with a healthy appetite?… Lord of the Onion Rings! 
  59. Why did the Hobbit set his iphone to vibrate?… He was afraid the ring would give him away!
  60. What happens when Sam pulls Gandalf’s finger for a second time?… Gandalf released Morwen.
  61. Why was it so hard to storm Sauron’s lair?… Because no matter how many you opened it, there was always Mor dor!
  62. What is an accountant’s favorite Lord of the Rings movie?… The Return of the King.
  63. Gandalf was very unhappy at work… He couldn’t find his staff! 
  64. What do you call Legolas, RobinHood, and Katniss Everdeen when they’re leaving?… Dep-archers!
  65. Why did Frodo read The Lord of the Rings 1,001 times?… Because it was hobbit-forming!
  66. How did the hobbit ruin the boxing match?… He tried to destroy the ring!
  67. How many times does an elf laugh at a joke?… One time, when he hears it. How many times does a hobbit laugh at a joke? .. Twice, once when he hears it, once when he finally gets it. How many times does a dwarf laugh at a joke?… Three times. Once when he hears it, once when it’s explained to him, and once when he finally gets it.
  68. I would like make another Lord of the Rings joke… but all the best ones Aragorn.
  69.  Why did Frodo Baggins put his phone on silent?… He was tired of the ring! 
  70. How many Hobbits does it take to change a lightbulb?… None – there are no lightbulbs in Middle-earth! 
  71. Who’s going to agree to play Frodo in the Lord of the Rings movies?… Elijah Would. 
  72. An Elf, a Dwarf, hobbit, and a Wizard walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, a joke?” 
  73. What would Gandalf have said if The Lord of the Rings played in a supermarket instead of Middle-Earth?… One ring to rule the mall. 
  74. Why is Gandalf’s cupcake shop so successful?… Because he has a magical staff. 
  75. Lego Lord of the Rings was a definitive moment for Tolkien fans… Up to that point they had been Legoless! 
  76. Why did the Hobbit get a job at Burger King?… He wanted to be “Lord of the Onion Rings.”
  77. Why did the Dwarves leave Erebor?… They didn’t like the pollution – there was too much Smaug!
  78. The best films of all time Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit trilogies… Now that’s what I’m Tolkien about.
  79. We think we might name our child Precious… It has such a nice ring to it!
  80. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Lord of the Rings? 
  81. My English teacher used to quote The Lord of the Rings to us… She used to say “you shall not pass.” 
  82. A friend told me that the Lord of the Rings was a terrible series I said “You don’t know what you’re Tolkien about.”
  83. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Lord of the Rings knock-knock joke? 
  84. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Lord of the Rings knock knock jokes?
  85. Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre?… He was Tolkien all the way through.
  86. Who did Saruman get married to?… Sarugirl.
  87. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Lord of the Rings jokes.
  88. Lord of the rings must be about marriage… Because when you put the ring on, you disappear.
  89. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Lord of the Rings?
  90. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Lord of the Rings knock-knock joke?
  91. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Lord of the Rings knock knock jokes?
  92. My English teacher used to quote lord of the rings to us… She used to say “you shall not pass.”
  93. Orlando Bloom was only paid $175,000 for his role as Legolas in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. One might say he was definitely not an Elf made millionaire.
  94. I started walking around without any shoes, and it became a sort of hobbit.
  95. I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday… I ran 26 miles dressed up as Gandalf!
  96. It’s a hobbit… I watch the Lord of the Rings movie.
  97. What do you call the wraith king?… A ring leader!
  98. My wife is the biggest “Lord of the Rings” fan. Every night I hear her Tolkien in her sleep.
  99. I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday…. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Bilbo Baggins!
  100. What do you call Legolas, Robin Hood, and Katniss Everdeen when they’re leaving?… Dep-archers.
  101. I would make another Lord of the Rings pun, but… all the good ones Aragorn.
  102. Good study hobbits require a frodo-graphic memory.
  103. I couldn’t enter Sauron’s lair… there was always one Mordor to go through.
  104. Nine bees made their way to Mordor… It was the fellowship of the Sting.
  105. What do you call a hobbit party?… A little get together.
  106. What do you call a hobbit that eats junk food?… Lord of the Onion Rings.
  107. Why was Gandalf always smoking that pipe?… Because he had a bad Hobbit!
  108. What do you need to play the new Lord of the Rings pinball game?… Tolkiens.
  109. Why did the hobbit go to McDonalds?… To get a second breakfast.
  110. I would make another Lord Of the Rings joke, but all the good ones Aragorn.
  111. What do you call a dark lord that works at KFC?… Lord of the Wings
  112. What did Frodo say when he saw the trees dancing?… That’s ENT-ertainment!
  113. How many quarters does it take to play the new Lord of the Rings arcade game?… None… it only takes Tolkiens!
  114. Why are most hobbits great guys?… Because they do not look down on people.
  115. Why did Frodo read The Lord of the Rings 50 times?… Because it was hobbit-forming!
  116. What did Borimir say to the Rolling Stones?… Have you not heard? One does not simply rock into Mordor!
  117. For my son’s birthday, I got him a copy of “The Lord of the Rings”, but he wasn’t too happy. He thought it was a Tolkien gesture.
  118. One ring rules your life, it slowly destroys you, and sometimes, death seems easier than continuing on.
  119. I used to be addicted to Lord of the Rings… But then I kicked the hobbit.
  120. I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses. They’re calling it The Two Tires.
  121. How did the hobbit ruin the wrestling match?… He tried to destroy the ring!
  122. How did the hobbit ruin the MMA match?… He tried to destroy the ring!
  123. What did Frodo say when he saw the elves dancing?… It must be Christmas time.
  124. What’s wrong with staying up late to watch Lord of the Rings movies?… It’s a bad hobbit.
  125. What is the difference between Sauron and The Easter Bunny?… Nobody knows, no one has seen either one.
  126. My wife woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
  127. Did you hear about the kid who lost his lord of the rings LEGO set?… He was LEGO less.
  128. I hear that Legolas from the Lord of the Rings had an older brother, but he died before Legolas was born. His name was Legofirst.
  129. What do you call it when you misplace your Lego Lord of the Rings mini figures?… A Lego Legolas Loss.
  130. My husband woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
  131. The Elves in The Lord of Rings look down upon anyone who is different from them. It’s pretty messed up, they’re so arrow minded.
  132. My boyfriend woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
  133. My girlfriend woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
  134. My son woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
  135. My daughter woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
  136. Why is ‘The Lord of the Rings’ so long?… Because no one ever stops Tolkieng.
  137. My father woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
  138. My mother woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
  139. What’s a leap year baby’s favorite movie?… “The Lord of the Leap Rings!”
  140. Doctor! At night in my bed I keep saying lines from The Lord of The Rings That’s ok, you’re just Tolkien in your sleep
  141. My grandmother woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
  142. My grandfather woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
  143. I keep reciting all of Lord of The Rings in bed My wife says I need to do something about Tolkien in my sleep.
  144. My math teacher used to quote lord of the rings to us She used to say “you shall not pass.”
  145. Did you know The Lord of Rings could have come out a lot earlier?… Only problem was no one knew what the writer was Tolkien about
  146. There weren’t a lot of hobbits in the first Lord of the Rings books. They were just Tolkien characters.
  147. In the Lord of the Rings you always have to make reservations at the restaurant. Because one does not simply walk in.
  148. Tolkien typed the entire Lord Of The Rings using only two fingers. That must have been Mordor.
  149. My Son asked me if the Santa’s Elves were the same Elves from Lord of the Rings I said grow up Son, you’re 42 years old.
  150. Went to see my doctor today about a problem. I keep reading Lord of the Rings over and over again She told me not to worry. Its just force of hobbit!
  151. So I was watching Lord of the Rings with my dad… When I mentioned Legolas he asks, “so did he lose both his legs?”
  152. Your mama is so ugly… she has the breath of an Orc, the face of a Dwarf, and the feet of a Hobbit.

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