Lawyer Jokes

by | Aug 1, 2024 | Dads, Latest News, School Jokes

  1. Valentine’s Day Jokes: Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed, “guess who?”… A divorce lawyer.
  2. Shark Jokes: What did the shark plead in court?… Gill-ty. 
  3. When is a World Cup soccer player like a judge?… When he sits on the bench.
  4. Preakness Stakes Jokes: The Hell We Did… the unofficial horse of the county jail.
  5. Shrimp Jokes: What do you call a shrimp that always gets injured?… Accident prawn.
  6. U2 got sued over copyright and didn’t have money to afford a lawyer. The ACLU stepped in for free and they won the case. It was pro Bono.  
  7. What kind of lawyers praise U2?… Pro Bono lawyers.
  8. A British songwriter is suing U2, claiming that the band stole one of his songs. Though I don’t like the songwriter’s chances, because his lawyer is working Pro Bono. 
  9. Lawyer Jokes: I was going to sue U2 for stealing one of my songs But I found out my lawyer was pro-bono.      
  10. Softball Jokes: What is the difference between softball and law?… In baseball, if you’re caught stealing, you’re out.
  11. I tried to get a lawyer pro bono but found it impossible… Every one I contacted hated U2.    
  12. Lawyer Jokes: I don’t get why all these people praise lawyers just for being U2 fans… Suddenly they’re special for taking on Pro-Bono cases?      
  13. Lawyer Jokes: What was U2’s lawyer’s hourly rate?… Nothing, he was pro-Bono      
  14. Lawyer Jokes: Lawyers must be pretty big fans of the legendary Irish rock band U2… Almost all of them go on about all the pro-Bono things that they do.   
  15. U2 Jokes: I’ve heard that U2 has never paid legal any legal fees… Their lawyers all work pro-Bono.   
  16. Why didn’t Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyer’s heart?… Because even Cupid can’t hit a target that small
  17. Did you hear about the lawyer who refused to represent U2 in court?… He didn’t want to work pro-Bono. 
  18. Lawyer Jokes: My lawyer is a U2 fan… So he was glad to represent them in a court case pro Bono.
  19. Lawyer Jokes: Having U2 as a client would be the worst… All the work is pro bono.      
  20. Lawyer Jokes: My friend who absolutely loves U2 just passed the BAR exam… He says everything he does now will be Pro Bono.
  21. Did you hear that the band U2 gave away a free concert?… Apparently, the crowd was very Pro Bono.  
  22. My lawyer dumped me after I said I hated U2…. He was working under a Pro Bono agreement.     
  23. Grinch Jokes: Why couldn’t the Grinch steal Christmas?… Because of the Santa clause. 
  24. Music Jokes: What do a harmonica and a lawsuit have in common?… Everyone is relieved when the case is closed. 
  25. How did the hot dog get the job despite having a criminal record?… It was a misde-wiener.
  26. Why is the Grinch seeking out a contract lawyer?… To help get rid of the Santa Clauses.
  27. Spaghetti Jokes: A restaurant served me soggy spaghetti… So I put in a re-straining order.