July Jokes

My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest
Blogs for Education, Parents, Travel, Tutoring, Sports, Senior Living, Music and College.

Google Search “July Jokes”

July 1st Canada Day: World Cup 2026: July 1st, 2026: What a Canada Day!! Canada is hosting the World Cup AND has advanced to the Round of 16!!!.
- July 1st National Postal Worker Day: What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?… The Americans licked the British.
- Heat Wave Jokes: Music Jokes: #1 Rap Concert for a Heat Wave?… Ice T & Ice Cube.
- December Jokes: Don’t June know it’s August?… I can’t December.
- Dad Jokes: I just asked my dad what his favorite part about being a teacher is. He responded with June, July, and August
- Mom Jokes: I just asked my mom what her favorite part about being a teacher is. She responded with June, July, and August.
- Grandparent Jokes: I just asked my grandfather what her favorite part about being a teacher is. He responded with June, July, and August.
- Grandparent Jokes: I just asked my grandmother what her favorite part about being a teacher is. She responded with June, July, and August.
- Winter Jokes: I bought a winter jacket at the store last July I got a really good deal because I bought it before it was cool.
- Fall Jokes: My friend just asked me why I’m wearing my sweatshirt in July I told him I’m a trendsetter, I wear sweatshirts before it’s cool.
- Doctor Jokes: The doctor has given me two months to live. I’ve chosen June and December because I like summer but don’t want to miss Christmas.
- Christmas Jokes: People ask how I’m so prepared for Christmas. It’s easy I had all presents wrapped and hidden in the attic since July. My partner is going to love her loaf of bread.
July 2nd: How many seconds are there in one year?… 12! January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
American Revolution Jokes: What dance was very popular in 1776?…Indepen-dance! (Top 10 4th of July Jokes)
July 4th: 4th Of July Jokes: How come there’s no Knock Knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings.
July 5th: National Bikini Day Jokes: How do men exercise on the beach?… By sucking in their stomach every time they see a bikini!
- Top 10 World Cup Soccer Jokes: No Way!!!… Norway advanced to the Quarterfinals for the 1st time in history on July 5, 2026, defeating Brazil 2-1.
Fireworks Jokes: This is ridiculous. It’s July 6th and people are still setting off fireworks. One almost caught our Christmas decorations on fire.
July 7th World Chocolate Day: Chocolate Jokes:
Hurricane Season:Top 10 Hurricane Jokes: Hurricanes are very… depressing.
Top 10 Dinosaur Jokes
American Revolution Jokes: What was the Patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War? … Chicken Catch-a-Tory!
July 10th National French Fry Day: French Fry Jokes:
- July 10, 2026: 2026 World Cup Soccer Jokes: Biology Jokes: World Cup Soccer is the only sport that’s not a game of inches… It’s a game of feet.
Tea Jokes: America: Hey England, Happy Fourh of July! England: Where’s the T? America: Threw it in the Boston Harbor!
Hurricane Season: Hurricanes are very… depressing.
July 13th, 1985: Music Jokes: What 1985 concert do all ghosts HATE?… Live Aid.
- Friday the 13th Jokes For July: What is Jason Voorhees’ favorite restaurant?… TGIF-13. (Thank God It’s Friday the 13th!)
July 14th Bastille Day Jokes: I was telling a great joke about the importance of the guillotine in the French Revolution… But it didn’t really land…. I guess execution really is key!
- Halloween Jokes: July 14th Bastille Day… The unofficial start to “scary treats” Halloween candy season.
- World Cup Soccer Jokes: France playing in the World Cup semifinal ON BASTILLE DAY 2026… Tres Bien!
- MLB All-Star Game: Baseball Jokes: Masters Jokes: Rory McIlroy has a new appreciation for baseball… He loves the Grand Slam.
July 15th, 2026 National Hot Dog Day: What is the best way to enjoy a hot dog?… Relish it.
Pirate Jokes: Who are pirates cheering for in the 2026 World Cup Final?… Ahrr-gentina.
Superman Jokes: Superman never needed a chaperone on field trips as a kid…. he already had super vision.
July 19th, 2026: National Ice Cream Day: Ice Cream Jokes: Watermelon Jokes: Ice Cream Flavors honoring Richard Nixon… ‘ImPeachments & Cream’ and ‘Watermelon-Gate.’
July 20th National Moon Day: Moon Jokes: Astronaut Jokes: What did Neil Armstrong say when no one laughed at his moon jokes?… “I guess you had to be there.”
July 21, 2026 National Junk Food Day: Top 10 Junk Food Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best junk food jokes.
RIP July 22, 2025 Music Jokes: Psychology Jokes: What song is on every psychiatrist’s playlist?… Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne. Music Jokes: Psychology Jokes: What song is on every psychiatrist’s playlist?… Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne. RIP July 22, 2025
- July 22nd (22/7) is Pi Approximation Day. Pi Day Jokes
July 20th – July 26th Shark Week Discovery Channel: I would like to see a Great White Shark before I die… Just not right before I die.
Summer Olympics Jokes: XXXIV Summer Olympics: Knock… Who’s there?… Woo… Woo, who?… Who are you cheering for in the LA Summer Olympics?
July 4th PSA: On one hand fireworks are a lot of fun. On the other hand I only have 2 fingers.
July 26th, 1775: American Revolution Jokes: What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?… The Americans licked the British.
Full Moon Jokes: What kind of underwear should you wear during a full moon?… Fruit of the Moon!
July 29th, 2026: Full Buck Moon: What Jersey should you wear to the Buck Moon?… Giannis Antetokounmpo “The Greek Freak!”
- July 29, 2026 is the Full Buck Moon… It also is the official start of Halloween Candy Season.
Shark Jokes: If you thought swimming with dolphins was expensive, you should try swimming with sharks …. It cost me an arm and a leg!
Canada Day Jokes: There are two seasons in Canada – winter and July. Hence the celebrations on July 1st.
World’s Shortest July Poem: Goodbye July!
Shark Jokes: If you thought swimming with dolphins was expensive, you should try swimming with sharks …. It cost me an arm and a leg!
August Jokes: Is today really August?… Or are Julying to me?
Music Jokes: Psychology Jokes: What song is on every psychiatrist’s playlist?… Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne. RIP July 22, 2025
Shark Jokes: Why are some sharks hard to trust?… They tell Great White lies.
Shark Jokes: Summer PSA: A friendly reminder: Sharks live in the ocean… Year-round.
Shark Jokes: How can you tell if two sharks are friends?… They act chummy with one another.
Jaws Jokes: #1 Amity Island AirBNB: Summer rental, 3 rooms, outdoor shower, ocean view WITH A POOL!
2026 World Cup Soccer Jokes: How often does the Belgium Soccer team reach the World Cup Quarterfinals?… Once in a Blue Moon.
Shark Jokes: What does a shark eat for dinner?… Fish and ships!
Pirate Jokes: What’s that new summer pirate movie rated?…It’s rated ARRRRRR!
- Full Buck Moon: Oh deer… did you miss the Buck Full Moon.
Watermelon Jokes: When do you go at red and stop at green?… When you’re eating a watermelon.
What comes at the end of July?… Y.
Amazon Prime Day Jokes: Who are the 1st five numbers to make a purchase on “Prime” Day?… 2,3,5,7,11.
Can someone please tell where July went?
Why don’t firefighters get the Fourth of July off?… Because fire works.
Summer Jokes: Where do sharks go on summer vacation?… Finland!
Camping Jokes: Did you hear about the camping trip?… It was in – tents (intense)!
What did one flag say to the other flag?…..Nothing. It just waved! (Top 10 4th of July Jokes)
Constitution Jokes: How is a healthy person like the United States?… They both have good constitutions!
“Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?”… “On the bottom!”
What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?…The Battle of Bonkers Hill.
What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?…Tea-shirts.
July 14th Bastille Day:
What month can you never trust?… July (get it Ju LIE!)
What did the beach say as the tide came in?… Long time no sea.
Baseball Jokes: Did you hear the joke about the baseball?… It will leave you in stitches!
The seaside resort we visited last summer was so boring that one day the tide went out and never came back.
Where does a ship go when it’s sick?… To the DOCK!
Best Summer Vacation Book Never Written: “Where to Stay on Vacation” by Moe Tell.
Which month is most likely to commit perjury?… July (get it Ju LIE!)
Why did the summer school teacher wear sunglasses?…. Because her class was so bright!
Bee Jokes: How do bees get to summer school?… By school buzz.
Civil War Jokes: Why didn’t the Confederate soldier want to go to the baseball game?… He heard the Yankees were playing.
Who has to work on the 4th of July?… Fire. Fire works.
What do you call witches who live on the beach?… Sandwitches!
What do sheep do on sunny days?… Have a baa-baa-cue.
How do you prevent a Summer cold?… Catch it in the Winter!
Where did the sheep go on vacation?… The Baa-hamas!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls?… Because they’re shellfish.
Why can’t basketball players go on summer vacation?… They’d get called for traveling!
What did one tide pool say to the other tide pool?… Show me your mussels.
Where did Tarzan go on summer vacation?… Hollywood and Vine.
What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? – It gets wet.
What holds the sun up in the sky?… Sunbeams.
Swimming Jokes: What race is never run?… A swimming race.
What did the ocean say to the sailboat? – Nothing it just waved.
First dog: Where do fleas go for summer vacation? Second dog: Search me!
July Jokes & Top Summer Jokes
July 13th: National French Fry Day: What day do potatoes hate the most?… Fry-day!
July 16th: National Ice Cream Day: What do you get from an Alaskan cow?… Ice Cream
July 19th: National Hot Dog Day: Did you see the movie about the hot dog?… It was an Oscar Wiener.
July 21st: National Junk Food Day: What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?…. A Candy Baa (Animal Jokes for Kids)

Recent Posts

Archives