101 American Revolution Jokes

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1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best American Revolution jokes.
2. How come there’s no Knock Knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings.
3. What dance was very popular in 1776?… Indepen-dance!
4. The history teacher in Massachusetts said his lessons were Revolutionary!
5. What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?… Liberty!
6. What was the Patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War? … Chicken Catch-a-Tory!
7. British people say that we as Americans go overboard with the 4th of July…. When really the only thing that went overboard was their tea.
8. What’s the most patriotic drink?… Liber-tea, of course.
9. What do you call a Boston Tea Party joke?… A brew-ha-ha!
10. Father William, the old priest, made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names.  Father William jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states. One lad raised his hand and said, Yes sir, but in those days there were only 13 states.
11. What did King George think of the American colonists?… He thought they were revolting!
12. Teacher: “More than 250 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student: “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!”
13. Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?… Yeah, it cracked me up!
14. What is the weight of freedom?… A washing-ton
15. What did a patriot put on his dry skin?… Revo-lotion!
16. What sport is played on Independence Day?… American Flag Football.
17. What did King George think of the American colonies?… He thought they were revolting!
18. What do you call a patriot who’s always on time?… A minute man.
19. What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?… The Americans licked the British.
20. What ghost haunted King George III?… The spirit of ‘76!
21. What did Luke Skywalker say on Independence Day?… May the fourth be with you!
22. Which flag is the most highly rated?… The American flag. It has 50 stars!
23. Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?… Laughayette.
24. What was General Washington’s favorite tree?… The infan-tree.
25. Why did the colonists always carry a pencil?… They wanted to draw their own conclusions!
26. What did one flag say to another during the Revolution?… “Let’s wave goodbye to tyranny!”
27. The Fourth of July weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. “We live in a great country,” she said. “One of the things we should be happy about is that, in this country, we are all free.” One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said. . . .“I’m not free. I’m four.”
28. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you name the Massachusetts holiday that coincides with the Boston Marathon? (Patriots Day)
29. What are the most patriotic flowers?… Yankee Doodle Dandylions.
30. Why was George Washington such a good general?… He never lost his head in battle—literally or figuratively!
31. How is a person who never gets sick like the United States of America?… They both have great constitutions.
32. What did Benjamin Franklin say when he invented bifocals?… Now I can see both sides of the argument!
33. How do you describe a Massachusetts historian?… Someone who always “Mass-ters” the subject!
34. Why did the colonists go to the ocean?… To sea freedom.
35. What did Samuel Adams say to his beer?… You’re the ‘ale’-iance we need.
36. Why did Paul Revere ride his horse at midnight?… Because the horse wanted to be a night mare.
37. Why did the colonists love gardening?… They were always planting seeds of rebellion!
38. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?… On the bottom!
39. Why were the first Americans like ants?… They lived in colonies.
40. Do they have a 4th of July in England?… Of course. That’s how they get from the 3rd to the 5th. (4th of July Quiz)
41. Teacher: “How did the Founding Fathers decide on our country’s flag?” Student: “I guess they took a flag poll!”
42. What did the Liberty Bell say to the British?… You can’t bell-ieve we’re free.
43. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Ray… Ray who?… Raymember the founding father’s on Independence Day!
44. Which famous person do you get when you make a wreath out of $100 bills?… Aretha Franklin.
45. Why did the British soldiers go to therapy?… They couldn’t handle the constant “tea”-sing from the American patriots!
46. What march would you play at a jungle parade?… “Tarzan Stripes Forever!”
47. How did American colonists’ dogs protest against England?… The Boston Flea Party.
48. Where did General Washington put his armies?… In his sleevies!
49. What is Uncle Sam’s favorite snack?… Fire crackers.
50. Why was the Boston Tea Party so popular?… Because it was steeped in history!
51. Why was tea so important to the American Revolution?… Because it brewed up some serious change!
52. What was Thomas Jefferson’s favorite dessert?… Monti jello
53. “If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn’t have declared their independence from it.” Stephen Colbert
54. Why did Benjamin Franklin feel shocked when he discovered electricity?… He had a real “current” event!
55. What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?…Tea-shirts.
56. On July 4th, what did the ghost say?… Red, white, and boo!
57. Who has to work on the 4th of July?… Fire works.
58. Why did the British cross the Atlantic?… To get to the other tide!
59. What was all the rage at the Colonists’ Cotillion of 1776?… Doing the Indepen-dance.
60. Why did the firecracker go to the hair salon?… It needed to trim its bangs.
61. What do you call an AWESOME American drawing by a child?… A Yankee Doodle Dandy!
62. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?… At the bottom!
63. What’s the official snack of the Declaration of Independence?… Poppycorn.
64. What was the most popular dance move in the colonies in 1776?… The Indepen-dance!
65. What kind of tea did the colonists throw into Boston Harbor?… Liberty tea!
66. Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?… Because he couldn’t lie!
67. I tried to make a joke about the Liberty Bell… but it cracked up.
68. What would you get if you crossed Washington’s home with nasty insects?… Mt. Vermin!
69. A little boy just couldn’t learn. One day his teacher asked him who signed the Declaration of Independence. He didn’t know. For almost a week she asked him the same question every day, but still he couldn’t come up with the right answer. Finally, in desperation, she called the boy’s father to her office. “Your boy won’t tell me who signed the Declaration of Independence,” she complained. “Come here, son, and sit down,” the dad said to the boy. “Now if you signed that crazy thing, just admit it so we can get out of here!” (Top Teacher Jokes)
70. My great, great, great grandfather was a soldier and a patriot and in order to treat his wounds and scars he used revo-lotion.
71. What quacks, has a bill and shouldn’t be trusted?… Beneduck Arnold.
72. Why did the American colonists always bring a ladder to the revolution?… Because they wanted to rise to the occasion!
73. What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1772?… The Boston Flea Party.
74. Which Founding Father is a dog’s favorite?… Bone Franklin.
75. Why did John Adams go to the doctor?… He had a bad case of independence-itis.
76. Why didn’t the skeleton fight in the American Revolution?… Because he didn’t have the guts!
77. What kind of tea did the American colonists really want?… Liberty.
78. Why did the colonists throw tea in the harbor?… Because it was brew-tal taxation!
79. Why don’t firefighters get the Fourth of July off?… Because fire works.
80. Why did King George III bring a ladder to the battle?… He wanted to take a high ground.
81. What did King George think of the Boston Tea Party?… He thought it was just a “tea-rrible” idea!
82. When we had a school trip to an aviary on Independence Day, we noticed that the ducks were given a certain inalienable right. Turns out, they had a duck-leration of independence.
83. How do you know if a burger is patriotic?… It’s got that American cheese!
84. What do you call a tea party that turns into a revolution?… A brew-ha-ha!
85. Did you hear about the artist in the Continental Army?… He was a Yankee doodler.
86. Teacher: “Who wrote: Oh say, can you see?” Student: “An eye doctor?” (Top Teacher Jokes)
87. The Boston Tea Party was a real brew-ha-ha!
88. What did the Patriots say to the British?… “You’re taxing our patience!”
89. Since it’s the Fourth of July… let’s indepen-dance the night away!
90. What did the American colonists say to the British tea?… Leaf us alone.
91. Why was King George III so bad at math?… Because he couldn’t count on his colonies!
92. What’s big, cracked, and carries your luggage?… The Liberty Bellhop!
93. Great American Political Book Never Written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks. (Top Presidents’ Day Jokes)
94. How did Thomas Jefferson feel after writing the Declaration?… Like he’d penned his best work.
95. What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?… A bald beagle!.
96. What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware?…”Get in the boat, men!”
97. What treat do dads like on the 4th of July?… POPsicles.
98. What did the Revolutionary leader say at the meeting?… “Let’s ‘concord’ our differences and move forward!”
99. What did Paul Revere say to his horse?… Giddyup, we have a revolution to start.
100. What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?… The Battle of Bonkers Hill.
101. What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?… The Fodder of Our Country!