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Google Search “Army Jokes”
- American Revolution Jokes: What was General Washington’s favorite tree?… The infan-tree.
- American Revolution Jokes: Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?… Laughayette.
- Tea Jokes: Why did the British army wear red coats?… So they could blend in with their tea stains!
- Tea Jokes: The British army loved tea… but they couldn’t handle our revolu-tea-on!
- What are the two main rules in the Army?… 1. The commanding officer is always right. 2. If the commanding officer is not right, see #1.
- The Continental Army didn’t need Wi-Fi—they had great connections with France.
- Why did George Washington’s troops go to the forest?… To have a tree-mendous victory.
- Why did the American soldiers bring their own snacks to battle during the American Revolution?… Because they didn’t want to go “continental” breakfast!
- Why was George Washington such a good general?… He never lost his head in battle—literally or figuratively!
- A recruiter asks an octopus if he wants to join the Army… The octopus says no thanks I’m army enough as it is.
- When I lost my rifle, the army charged me $255.99.. That’s why in the navy, the captain goes down with the ship.
- A lot of people assume pirates prefer to be in the navy. But actually they prefer the arrrrrrrrmy.
- Where does the General put his armies?… In his sleevies!
- What are the two main rules in the Army?… 1. The commanding officer is always right. 2. If the commanding officer is not right, see #1.
- What did you do before becoming a dentist?… “I was in the #rmy… I was a drill sergeant.”
- Army soldiers can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the Navy can fathom it.
- What’s the best job for babies in the Army?… The Infantry.
- I became a chef after I left the Army… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran.
- What month do all army troops hate?… March.
- Why was the army sergeant mad when his son brought home a perfect score on his math test?… His son spent more time dividing than conquering.
- Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?… He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
- What do army guys say if they forget Memorial Day?… Ah, shoot!
- What do you call a high-ranking soldier who hates recycling?… General Waste.
- What did the Army commander say to his troops?… March 4th!
- Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Army?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself!
- Why do volleyball players want to join the army?… For the chance to gain some experience in the service.
- What was the name of the worm army?… The Apple Corps.
- Did you hear about the popcorn that joined the army?… They made him a kernel.
- How is Tigger like a sergeant in the army?… They both wear stripes.
- What do army guys read on Memorial Day?… A magazine.
- A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church. Pastor: “What are you looking at?” Boy: “All those names. Who are they?” “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. Pastor: They are those who died in the service.” Boy: “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?”
- Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings!
- Soldiers in Heaven: A little boy asked his mother during the Memorial Day Parade: “Mamma, don’t soldiers ever go to heaven?” “Of course they do!” protested his mother. “What makes you ask?” “There are so many soldiers with beards but I never saw any pictures of angels with beards.” he replied The mother responded “Oh, that’s because most vets who go to Heaven get there by a close shave.”
- Teacher: “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student: “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole #army!”
- Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?… Laughayette!
- Did you hear about the#artist in the Continental #Army?… He was a Yankee doodler!
- A Great American Book Never Written: “The Parts of the National Anthem” by Homer D. Brave.
- My great-grandfather fought with Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the French & my father fought with the Americans…. Your relatives couldn’t get along with anyone, could they?
- Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Army jokes.
- What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?… Absent without leaf.
- Where does the King Charles keep his armies?… In his sleevies!
- Did you know you can’t eat ice cream in the Air Force?… Apparently you get arrested for desserting. #dessert
- What do you call a house with an icecream sundae on top?… Beats me… “Desserted!”
- Why did the soldier stuff himself with ice cream? He was a desserter.
- An ice cream, a creme brulee, and a slice of cheesecake joined the army, but they abandoned their fellow soldiers on their first deployment They are wanted for dessertion. (Memorial Day Knock Knock Jokes)
- Where do American soldiers go to get a haircut?… They go to the Hair Force.
- There was a bad accident at the Aemy base… A jeep ran over a bag of popcorn and killed two kernels.
- What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moomorial day. (Cow Jokes)