Labor Day Jokes

by | Aug 28, 2025 | Latest News | 0 comments

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  1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Labor Day jokes.
  2. Farming Jokes: Happy Labor Day…. Oh wait… we live on a farm. Never mind!
  3. Did you hear the joke about Labor Day?… It doesn’t work for me!
  4. If a train station is where the train stops, and a bus station is where the bus stops… What is a work station?
  5. I love Labor Day… What other day do you get to celebrate work without actually doing any?
  6. My first job was in an orange juice factory, but I couldn’t concentrate on the same old boring rind… so I got canned.
  7. Baseball Jokes: I wanted to earn a little extra money being a baseball umpire… but my home plate was full.
  8. My archaeologist co-worker tried to blackmail me the other day… Turns out he got a lot of dirt on me.  
  9. How do lifeguards get paid?… With sand dollars.
  10. Why is Indiana Jones sad?… Because his career is in ruins. 
  11. Barber Jokes: I wanted to be a barber… but I just couldn’t cut it.
  12. I was a masseur for a while… but I rubbed people the wrong way.
  13. September Jokes for Teachers: How many teachers work in your school?… About half.
  14. Earth Day Jokes: I’m trying to start a chewing gum recycling company… I just need a little help getting it off the ground. 
  15. Dog Jokes: How do dog catchers get paid?… By the pound.
  16. Pirate Jokes: What’s a pirate’s second favorite job?… an arrrrrrchitect!
  17. Gymnastics Jokes: Help Wanted: Gymnastics Teacher Needed To Work Sat-Wed. Must be flexible. 
  18. Lord of the Rings Jokes: Employee: Gandalf once said ‘A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.’ Boss: You’re still fired! 
  19. Maine Tourist: “Nice little town, so old & quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.”
  20. Here’s to hopefully having jobs when we return from Labor Day Weekend.
  21. I manufactured calendars… but my days were numbered.
  22. September Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me the date of Labor Day this year? 
  23. 101 Dr. Seuss Jokes: What was Dr. Seuss’ mom’s job?… She was a Ma Seuss. 
  24. Fireworks Jokes: Bullets and fireworks are the only things that do their job after they’ve been fired.
  25. Teacher Jokes for September: I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my principal, my faculties, and my class.
  26. Navy Jokes: I thought about joining the Navy to be on a submarine… But I changed my mind, I had a sinking feeling about that career path.
  27. Navy Jokes: A cool job that sounds lame: Building boats for the Navy… You’d be a subcontractor. 
  28. Tree Jokes: I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it… so they gave me the axe.
  29. I don’t really like working as a waiter… But hey, at least it puts food on the table.
  30. Baseball Jokes: This really was supposed to be a joke! Why did the MLB baseball manager get fired?… for stealing signs. 
  31. Graduation Jokes: I used to get into fights at the drop of a hat. Which is probably why I got fired from my job as a graduation photographer. 
  32. Grandparent Jokes: My grandpa always says, “When one door closes, another opens.” He was a good man, but a lousy cabinet maker. 
  33. From the moment I became an archaeologist… my career was in ruins.
  34. Music Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me the footwear Jimmy Buffet wore to his Labor Day Weekend Show?  
  35. Boss: “You’re an hour late!” Guy who is about to invent daylight savings time: “Haven’t you heard?” 
  36. September Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust a to go back to college. It is Labor Day Weekend. 
  37. I quit working for Nike… I just couldn’t do it anymore.
  38. Movie Jokes: I tried being a movie extra… but it wasn’t my scene.
  39. My career at the stationery company isn’t going anywhere.
  40. Retirement Jokes: I stopped doing handyman work… I couldn’t live on a fixed income.
  41. I got laid off from the unemployment office and still had to show up the next day.
  42. I have some jokes about unemployed people… but none of them work.
  43. After all those years working as a limousine driver… I don’t have much to chauffeur it.
  44. Dad Jokes: Father: Do you know, most people don’t have to work today, because it’s Labor Day. Son: If people are not working, shouldn’t we call today ‘No-Labor Day?’
  45. Pizza Jokes: Wood fired pizza?… How’s pizza gonna get a job now? 
  46. Dad Jokes: What does your father do for a living?… He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half. I four half-sisters and a half-brother.
  47. I wasn’t feeling fulfilled as a phlebotomist… All my work was in vein.
  48. Flag Day Jokes: I almost got a job at a bullring but ultimately decided against it… There were too many red flags. 
  49. Navy Jokes: I became a chef after I left the Navy… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. 
  50. Oklahoma Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Canoe?… Canoe Who?… Canoe you name America’s Biggest Labor Day Party! (Rocklahoma)
  51. Why did the employee get fired from Pepsi?… They found Coke in his system.
  52. Music Jokes: What is an iron worker’s favorite band?… Steely Dan. 
  53. I just lost my job as a psychic… I did not see that coming.
  54. My job is selling houses in places like Narnia, Middle Earth, Neverland, Oz and Wonderland… I’m a Not Real Estate Agent. 
  55. Milk Jokes: My friend got fired from his cow milking job because of his erratic behavior… He was a danger to himself and udders. 
  56. What do you call a door to door bicycle salesman?… A Peddler! 
  57. Why was the meat packer arrested?… For bringing home the bacon. 
  58. My boss told a joke during our zoom call today… It wasn’t even remotely funny.
  59. I’m thinking about working search and rescue… They’re always looking for people.
  60. The shark is out of work right now, but don’t worry… he’s collecting workers chomp. 
  61. Why did elephants form a union… They work for peanuts. 
  62. In honor of Earth Day, I’m sending all of my work-related emails to my “recycle” folder. 
  63. Most people enjoy a day off on Labor Day except fire… Fire works on the Labor Day Weekend.
  64. Chocolate Chip Cookie Jokes: I tried to start an online Chocolate Chip Cookie store… But I accidentally deleted all my cookies.
  65. My buddy founded a canoe business that’s really taking off. I had the same idea… but I missed the boat. 
  66. I tried working at the IRS… but it was too taxing.
  67. I used to be a professional bowler… I’ll spare you the details.
  68. My coworkers tell me I’m condescending… That means I talk down to people.
  69. There’s no training to be a garbage man… You just pick it up as you go along.
  70. Chocolate Chip Cookie Jokes: My annual performance review says I lack “passion & intensity,” guess management hasn’t seen me alone with a big plate of chocolate chip cookies! 
  71. Tree Jokes: Tree trimmers do such a fantastic job… They should take a bough. 
  72. I was considering working for Uber… but I don’t have the drive.
  73. I tried working in a car muffler factory… but that was exhausting.
  74. “It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose your own.” Harry S. Truman
  75. Pasta Jokes: I just got fired from the pasta factory… I made a fusili mistakes. 
  76. Why is it so difficult to work at an apple pie factory?… Because they have such a high turnover rate! 
  77. Doctor Jokes: What job has you asking people to pick their noses?… Plastic surgeon.
  78. Labor Day PSA: On one hand fireworks are a lot of fun. On the other hand I only have 2 fingers.
  79. Doctor Jokes: Why do the employees get sick on Labor Day Weekend?… Weekend immune system.
  80. Why did the bees go on strike?… Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers! 
  81. What do nuclear plants serve their workers for the Labor Day cookout?… Fission Chips. 
  82. Skiing Jokes: I thought taking a job as a ski instructor would be great… But it really went downhill fast.
  83. What do construction workers do at Labor Day parties?… Raise the roof. 
  84. Donut Jokes: I tried working in a donut shop… but I soon got tired of the hole business.
  85. Psychology Jokes: I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because it was a sew-sew job, de-pleating and de-pressing.
  86. Geography Jokes: What’s the best part about working in Switzerland?… I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
  87. Teacher Jokes for September: What did the custodian say when he jumped out of the closet?… Supplies!
  88. What do you call a magician who’s lost his magic?… Ian.
  89. I’ve been working 25/7 to come up with a joke about day light savings time. 
  90. How does Santa pay the elves?… Jingle bills!
  91. What did you do before becoming a dentist?… “I was in the army… I was a drill sergeant.” 
  92. My Labor Day is shaping up to be busier than any work day this year.
  93. Two workers decided to get married right after Labor Day… The wedding guests said their union was beautiful. 
  94. Working at the call center was not for me… I don’t answer to anyone.
  95. Ice Cream Jokes: I have a lactose intolerant friend who sells ice cream for a living. He can’t take it… but he can dish it out. 
  96. Hot Dog Jokes: Why did the disgruntled hot dog vendor quit his job?… He just didn’t relish it. 
  97. How did the dental hygienist land a job?… By word of mouth. 
  98. I liked my job as a bank teller… until I lost interest.
  99. I thought about becoming a witch… so I tried that for a spell.
  100. If Wonder Woman and Spiderman went into business together… Would they call it Amazon Web Services?
  101. My wife tells me I talk in my sleep all the time, but I’m skeptical… Nobody at work has mentioned it.
  102. Earth Day Jokes: I got a job at a paperless office… Everything was great until I needed to use the bathroom.
  103. Navy Jokes: Working for the Navy pays just enough to stay afloat.
  104. Psychology Jokes: Why did the can crusher quit this job?… It was soda pressing.
  105. Lobster Jokes: Lobster Pun: The lobster said it’d be hard for him to retire… as he was tide to his company. 
  106. I am aspirin’ to be a professional pharmacist. 
  107. I used to own a paper company… but it folded.
  108. I wanted to be a professional poker player… but it wasn’t in the cards.
  109. Cinco De Mayo Jokes: Taco chefs earn a meager celery, cumin home beat, they just want to read the pepper, and spend a little thyme with the kids.
  110. Now that I’ve gotten into astronomy… my whole career is looking up.
  111. Why was the ghost so tired?… He worked the graveyard shift. 
  112. Cinco De Mayo Jokes: The taco chef hasn’t turned up to work for a week…. He has a bad queso Covid. 
  113. Teacher Jokes for September: I thought about being a history teacher… but I couldn’t see a future in it. 
  114. Why did the Summer Camp counselor quit his job?… Because it was always in tents! 
  115. Hot Dog Jokes: She got fired from her job as a hot dog vendor because she put her hair in a bun. 
  116. Why didn’t Jason wear his hockey mask for Halloween?… Because you don’t wear white after Labor Day. 
  117. Our computers went down at work today, so we had to do everything by hand. It took me 15 minutes to shuffle the cards for solitaire.
  118. I keep trying to start an airline… but it never takes off.
  119. I got fired after one day on the bomb squad… but I had a blast.
  120. Why did the Minion give up work?… The hours were just too Gru-eling.
  121. I love being a maze designer… I get completely lost in my work.
  122. I never set my clock back for Daylight Savings… it’s the only day of the year that I’m early to work.
  123. “I’m a firm believe in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.” Thomas Jefferson
  124. Why did the electrician stay home on Labor Day?… He needed to recharge his batteries. 
  125. Lord of the Rings Jokes: I’m throwing a Labor Day hobbit party… It’s just a little get-together! 
  126. Why are bees good at job interviews?… Because they know all of the buzz-words. 
  127. Teacher Jokes for September: “Labor Day is a glorious holiday because your child will be going back to school the next day. It would have been called Independence Day, but that name was already taken.” Bill Dodds 
  128. Summer Jokes: What is Labor Day?… A celebration that the pressure to lose weight for the summer is finally over. 
  129. I tried to start an online bakery… But I accidentally deleted all my cookies. 
  130. Lobster Jokes: Lobster Pun: Since the crustacean was late for work every day… she lobster job.
  131. Grandparent Jokes: What did grandma say about her career as a young girl?… “I worked at the shoe showroom, and then they gave me the boot.”
  132. I want to open a milk factory and name the company “Legend”… It’ll be “Legend-Dairy.” 
  133. Getting a divorce is like getting fired from a job you’ve hated for years. 
  134. My boss made me go into the office on Labor Day. Halfway through the day, he came in to check up on me and caught me having a beer.  He said to me, “You can’t drink while you’re working.”  I said, “Oh, don’t worry – I’m not working.” 
  135. The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.
  136. I was a maze designer. It didn’t work out… I got lost in my own work. 
  137. Why was the cross-eyed math teacher fired on the 1st day of school?… She lost control of her pupils. 
  138. They called him the king of the dentists because he specialized in crowns. 
  139. I became a chef after I left the army… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. 
  140. Why did the camp ranger quit his job?… Because it was always in tents!
  141. Why did the track athlete take the day off on Labor Day?… She needed to run some errands. 
  142. Why do we have Labor Day in September?… Because May Day was already taken!
  143. How did the tree get the job?… It had the right qua-leaf-ications. 
  144. My local pizza place is struggling to stay afloat…They really knead the dough! 
  145. Why should pirates work for FedEx?… They have the fastest ships in the shipping business. 
  146. Why did the Hobbit get a job at Burger King?… He wanted to be “Lord of the Onion Rings.” 
  147. Why shouldn’t you go into business with a watermelon?… They’re seedy. 
  148. I’m staying in bed all day… It’s Lay-bor Day.
  149. Why was the lamp store open only on weekends?… Business was light.
  150. There’s nothing to do on La-bore Day.
  151. I get plenty of exercise at work – I’m always jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
  152. I started working as a plumber… Now my whole career is in the toilet.
  153. Do pigs celebrate La-boar Day?
  154. How many people work in your company?… About half.
  155. I wish I made enough money from my labor to be able to afford a Labor Day vacation.
  156. How do you like working as a tailor?… It’s so-so.
  157. I always tell new hires, “Don’t think of me as your boss but as a friend who can fire you.”
  158. What do biologists wear to work on Casual Friday?… Genes.
  159. Do you know what they say about a clean desk?… It’s a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
  160. These funny Labor Day jokes are on a fixed income.
  161. Working on a ship pays just enough to stay afloat.
  162. Hard work pays off in the future… laziness pays off now.
  163. I kneaded dough so I got a job as a baker.
  164. I had to quit my job at the helium factory… I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.
  165. I started my business with nothing… and I still have most of it.
  166. Sure I’m willing to work longer hours at work… As long as they’re lunch hours.
  167. To err is human… To blame it on someone else shows management potential.
  168. I had to quit working as an elevator repairman… I couldn’t handle all the ups and downs.
  169. I got burned out working as a fireman.
  170. I didn’t get the job in Australia because I was un-koala-fied.
  171. Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.
  172. I told a joke during our zoom call today… It wasn’t even remotely funny.
  173. I never became professional badminton player?… I was too high strung. 
  174. Why are trees the best networkers?… They’re constantly branching out! 
  175. The corn stalk decided to change careers… He went into a completely different field. 
  176. Sunglasses manufacturers and Hitmen have something in common… They are both into shady business. 
  177. Second Amendment: If you are against the second amendment… you could get fired. 
  179. Whenever Autumn comes around, I like to walk around and collect the colorful leaves… It sounds better than saying I’m a street sweeper.
  180. I used to be a professional butt model… It was my carear.
  181. Tree Jokes: What is a lumberjack’s favorite month?… Sep-timber!
  182. Tree Jokes: What is an aborist’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber!
  183. I recently got fired as an architect… An earthquake came and the building collapsed because it wasn’t stabilized and I said it wasn’t my fault. 
  184. I wanted to join the Navy… But that ship has sailed… I’ll sea myself out.   
  185. Why did the computer programmer take the day off on Labor Day?… Because he needed a byte to eat!  
  186. Why did the artist take the day off on Labor Day?… He needed to brush up on his skills. 
  187. I went to a hockey store and asked an employee if they had any cheap skates. They sent me to the manager’s office. 
  188. If I had a dollar every time a customer complained about the price of cinema food… I could almost afford a small popcorn. 
  189. Weren’t you a professional lobsterman?… Yes, but it seems that living on my net income was harder than I thought beforehand. 
  190. I got a job as an astronomer… My career was looking up. 
  191. Why did Grandma leave the job at the glue factory?… She could not stick with it.
  192. Why did the librarian take Labor Day off?… She needed to book some fun into her schedule. 
  193. Why did the tiler want to work on Labor Day?… Fear of missing grout. 
  194. Freddy Krueger got a job offer to clean mirrors… He took it because it’s something he can see himself doing. 
  195. The Labor Day holiday means I get my unemployment check a day late. 
  196. Why is the archeologist depressed?… Because his career is in ruins.
  197. Why did the  elephants go on strike?… They work for peanuts.
  198. How does a pencil hire workers?… He appoints them. 
  199. Why do hockey players work in bakeries during the off season?… They’re great at icing the cakes! 
  200. I’m about to lose my job in the Navy unless I make some drastic changes… I have to take a course in anchor management. 
  201. I was fired from the ice cream factory… just because I refused to work on a sundae. 
  202. Why did the scarecrow win an award?… Because he was outstanding in his field. 
  203. In which part of the #bread factory do lobsters work?… The crust station. 
  204. I was offered a job at the local ice cream shop but I turned it down. I don’t like working on sundaes. 
  205. Happy Labor Day to all the moms out there… We appreciate everything you went through! 
  206. What do you call a guitar that never finishes a job?… a quitar! 
  207. 7-year old niece: Is Aunty having her baby today?… Because you said today is Labor Day! 
  208. You know, I used to be a teacher, but found out I didn’t have enough class… 
  209. My Dad was a Christmas tree salesman…. Before he started work he always got himself spruced up. 
  210. I got a job as a pencil sharpener… I would tell you about it but you wouldn’t get the point. 
  211. Why did the Summer Camp director quit his job?… Because it was always in #tents!
  212. Which Star Wars character works at a restaurant?… Darth Waiter! 
  213. Why did the company hire a lacrosse player?… They needed help cutting corners.  
  214. There’s a new serial killer in town who works at the bakery… They call him Bready Kruger. 
  215. What did the construction worker and pregnant lady have in common?… They were both in labor. 
  216. What do you say to an ice cream who just got promoted?… Cone-gratulations! 
  217. Where does a majority of a hockey player’s salary come from?… The tooth fairy. 
  218. Can you still “work it” on Labor Day? 
  219. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me the history of Labor Day? 
  220. What did the farmer say to his workers on Labor Day?… “I don’t carrot all, take the day off and lettuce celebrate!” 
  221. My coworker was fired on Leap Day, apparently he picked the wrong time to jump off the deep end. 
  222. Why did the insurance agent take the day off on Labor Day?… She needed to insure her own well-being. 
  223. Did you hear about the tree that had to take time off of work in autumn?… It was on paid leaf. 
  224. My Dad used to work all day grinding up tree bark and branches… He was always a chipper guy. 
  225. Why can’t #carpenters play hockey?… They always gets nailed to the boards. 
  226. Why do figure skaters work in bakeries when they retire?…They’re great at icing cakes.
  227. Why do giraffes make bad bosses?… Because they can’t see eye-to-eye with their employees! 
  228. My dear old grandmother always used to say the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach…. That’s why she lost her job as a cardiac surgeon. 
  229. 2 bankers went to a taqueria & ordered 2 drinks. Then they produced #tacos from their briefcases & started to eat! The waiter was concerned & told them, “You can’t eat your own tacos!” The bankers looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders & then exchanged tacos.
  230. Why did the baker stop making donuts, cakes & cupcakes?… He was fed up with the hole business! 
  231. This Labor Day, take comfort in the knowledge that the pressure to have fun this summer is finally off.
  232. When I grow up I want to be a veterinarian then go into the army, and become a veteran so I can become…A Vet Vet. 
  233. I called the local #gym asking if they can train me to do gymnastics. They said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I’m free Monday, Tuesday, and Friday.” 
  234. Why didn’t the government pay attention to the issues of the local workers who worked in caves on Labor Day?… They considered them miner issues. 
  235. Why has a dentist’s job gotten so much easier?… Because all the kids are flossing all the time now! 
  236. On one hand, I should be more focused on my job as a shark feeder at Sea World. On the other h. . . AARGH!!! 
  237. Why did the man go into the pizza business?… He wanted to make some dough. 
  238. As I have gotten older & wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays and of course retirement.” Tom Goins 
  239. What do #coffee shop workers say on Monday?… Well, it’s back to the old grind! 
  240. What job did #SpiderMan apply for on Indeed?… Web developer.  
  241. Why did the #lawnmower stop working on Labor Day?… It was tired of getting pushed around. 
  242. Why don’t comedians celebrate Labor Day?… They’re always working on their jokes! 
  243. What happened when a Maine fisherman was late to work?… She lobster job. 
  244. Why do #construction crews on Mt. Rushmore have such a hard time figuring out who the boss is?… Because it’s covered with foremen. 
  245. What do you call a snake that works for the Government?… A Civil Serpent. 
  246. Why did the mathematician take the day off on Labor Day?… She needed to factor in some relaxation time.
  247. Why did the musician take the day off on Labor Day?… He needed to rest his keys. 
  248. What did the out of work rat write on his cardboard scrap?… Don’t mind pressing a lever for food. 
  249. How’s the fireworks business?… Booming!!
  250. I’m good at fireworks displays… I’ve got a flare for it. 
  251. Why did the firefighter take Labor Day off?… He needed to extinguish his stress. 
  252. 1st worker: “I am still tired from all the CrossFit this morning.” Co-worker: “It’s pronounced ‘Croissant’ and you ate 4 of them.”
  253. Previously a baker, I struggled to make enough dough. Now, as a watermelon farmer, the business is thriving and juicy.
  254. Why did the plumber take Labor Day off?… He needed to drain the stress out of his system. 
  255. What happened to the gun at summer camp?… He got FIRED!
  256. I thought about being a history major, but I couldn’t see a future in it.
  257. Why did the robot take the day off on Labor Day?… He needed to recharge his batteries. 
  258. Why did the tree have to go to work every day this fall?… Because he couldn’t get any autumn leaves.
  259. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you take me to a Labor Day Cookout? 
  260. Daylight Savings Time: I can’t believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in. 
  261. I got thrown out of the cinema for throwing popcorn at the back of people’s heads… I also lost my job behind the popcorn counter. 
  262. Why were the police on a lookout for the maze designer?… He had gotten lost in his own work.
  263. Why did the mechanic take Labor Day off?… He needed to oil up his engine and recharge his batteries. 
  264. What month should you never ask to the work #overtime?… “NO” vember. 
  265. How do they hire Super Bowl #referees?… With stilts. 
  266. Why did the lifeguard take Labor Day off?… He needed a day to shore up his energy and catch some rays.
  267. Why did the carpenter take time off on Labor Day?… He needed to hammer out his vacation plans. 
  268. What did the pilot say when he hadn’t studied for his big airlines exam?… I’m just going to wing it.
  269. My successful pancake business was recently shut down… Someone tipped off the police that I was selling them hot. 
  270. Getting a job in the Arctic in the winter is great! Why?…  When the days  get short, you only have to work a 30 minute work week. 
  271. In college I interned for a company that sold vaults… I really treasured my time. 
  272. Ski Pun: I used to be a professional ski athlete… It just went downhill from there. 
  273. Why did the #andscaper take Labor Day off?… He needed to mow down his stress. 
  274. Why did the dentist take #LaborDay off?… She needed to floss her mind. 
  275. Why can’t croissant dough hold a steady job?… Because it’s always getting baked.
  276. Why did the #chef take the day off on #LaborDay?… Because he needed to knead his dough. 
  277. Why did the #mailman take the day off on #LaborDay?… He needed to deliver himself from exhaustion. 
  278. Weren’t you a professional #lobster #fisherman?… Yes, but it seems that living on my net income was harder than I thought beforehand. 
  279. Why you gotta be #jalapeño in my #business?… I’m #nacho sure I want to #taco bout it.
  280. Why did the baker open a #tortilla factory?… For the extra dough!
  281. Why do managers never go bowling with their employees?… Because they are afraid of them striking.
  282. Why did the #teacher take the day off on #LaborDay?… She needed to grade herself on her time management skills. 
  283. Why did the #scientist take the day off on #LaborDay?… She needed to experiment with some fun! 
  284. Why did the dentist take the day off on #LaborDay?… He needed to brush up on his relaxation skills. 
  285. Why did the #chef take the day off on #LaborDay?… She needed to #cook up some fun. 
  286. Why did the #gardener take the day off on #LaborDay? He needed to plant himself on the couch. 
  287. Why did the #astronaut take the day off on #LaborDay?… He needed to take a giant leap into #relaxation. 
  288. Why did the banker take the day off on #LaborDay? She needed to deposit some #relaxation time in her schedule. 
  289. Why did the #lawyer take the day off on #LaborDay?… He needed to argue his case for #relaxation. 
  290. Word-of-mouth was how I got my job at the dentist’s office. 
  291. My business selling #palm #trees wasn’t a success… People thought I was offering them a shady deal. 
  292. Why did the #police officer take the day off on #LaborDay?… She needed to patrol her own well-being. 
  293. What do you get when you cross #LaborDay with a #frog?… A day off that really #jumps!  s
  294. I’m so #tired from #working, I could #sleep through #LaborDay! 
  295. I don’t always take time off #work, but when I do, it’s for #LaborDay. 
  296. How do you know if your #boss is a #vampire?… They hate sunlight and love to suck the life out of #labor! 
  297. What did the big flower say to the little #flower on Labor Day? “You need to branch out and take a day off!” 
  298. What do you call a #pizza maker who works on #LaborDay?… A slice of life! 
  299. How do you know people who write instructions for places like #IKEA must be in good shape?… All that manual labor. 
  300. Why was the tunnel worker unhappy on Labor Day?… Because he was working with a boring machine. y
  301. What do you call a sick co-worker?… #Staff infection. 
  302. Why did the stand-up comedian’s joke on Labor Day didn’t work out?… Guess it was because he was preoccupied. 
  303. Why are #elephants always so broke?… They work for #peanuts.
  304. Why did the #elephants leave the #circus?… They work for #peanuts.
  305. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe pick up some #pizza on your way home from #work? 
  306. I never became professional #pickleball player?… I was too high strung. 
  307. How do they hire a #NBAdraft pick?… With stilts. 
  308. What do hamburger workers say on Monday morning?… Well, it’s back to the old grind! 
  309. What should Apple gift their employees on Labor Day?… Windows since they work in the dark.
  310. What do you call a group of sleeping union workers on Labor Day?.. A napkin! 
  311. What can you expect from the FEMA float at #MardiGras this year?… No one knows, it’s not expected ’til labor day!
  312. Why shouldn’t people with a mean attitude become #masseurs?… Nobody wants to be rubbed the wrong way. 
  313. What month should you never ask to the work the clock at a #basketball game?… “NO” vember.  r
  314. What’s a drill team?… A group of dentists who work together. 
  315. What did the #sun say to the #moon on the day of the solar #eclipse?… “Looks like it’s my night off.”
  316. Have you ever been to a #hotdog factory?… No, I haven’t #sausage a place.
  317. #Dentists practice the trade by going through many drills. 
  318. What do you get when you cross Labor Day with a potato?… A day to rest and hash out your problems. 
  319. How do ice-cream flavors get promoted?… By selling out! 
  320. What’s an electrician’s favorite ice cream flavor? Shock a lot. 
  321. Who has the most dangerous job in #Transylvania?… #Dracula’s dentist!  #dentists #LaborDay
  322. Why was the scarecrow awarded the best employee on International Workers’ Day?… He was out-standing in his field.
  323. Why did the #nurse take Labor Day off?… She needed to take a break and check her pulse. 
  324. How did the apple tree get the #job?… It had the right qua-leaf-ications.
  325. Why isn’t the #squirrel hard at #work collecting acorns at the oak #tree?… She called in #sick and went to the beech. 
  326. Why did the #zookeeper refuse to work the elephant enclosure?… The work kept piling up. 
  327. More companies should launch products on #AprilFoolsDay… so that if they aren’t well-received, they can say it was just a #prank. 
  328. Why did the office worker take Labor Day off?… He needed a day to file away his stress. 
  329. What did the elephant do to unwind after work?… He watched ele-vision! 
  330. My wife came home from work yesterday and was raging about her boss. She said to me, “I’m never going to work for that man again!.” I asked her, “Why, what did he say to you?”  She said, “You’re fired.”
  331. The #taco #chef hasn’t turned up to work for a week…. He has a bad queso the #flu. 
  332. What do you call a group of union workers on Labor Day?… A day of rest-olution! 
  333. Why did the electrician take the day off on Labor Day?… He needed to rewire his brain.
  334. Being #unemployed has really helped to lower my carbon footprint. 
  335. I never became professional tennis player?… I was too high strung.
  336. Whom did the #electrician union invite on Labor Day weekend event?… AC/DC!
  337. Did my wife tell you about a Labor day joke?… It didn’t work for her.
  338. Which #engineers were the most friendliest at the Labor Day BBQ?… Of course, civil engineers.
  339. Teacher: Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory? Middle School Student: I don’t know. Why? Teacher: Because you can’t concentrate! 
  340. What should you not think about on Labor Day?… That the next holiday is Thanksgiving.
  341. What did the hammerhead’s boss say when he did a good job?… “You nailed it!”
  342. I think I want to quit my real estate job. I’d rather clean mirrors for a living…. It’s just something I can see myself doing.
  343. What can you use to light fireworks?… Well, fire works.
  344. How do you make a taco stand?… You take away it’s chair.
  345. Who invented Daylight Saving Time?… A guy who was an hour late to work one day.
  346. If all #wealth is gained through #labor… why is it that the wealthy never have to do any? 
  347. What happened to the pottery at summer camp?… He got fired! 
  348. If a monster’s working week begins on a Moan Day, when does it end?… On a Fright day. 
  349. I thought about being a #middleschool #history #teacher… but I couldn’t see a future in it. 
  350. A pyrotechnic expert friend of mine lost his job after the fireworks didn’t go off in the right sequence. 
  351. The best way to celebrate Labor Day is by filing for unemployment.
  352. Why can’t cookie dough hold a steady job?… Because it’s always getting baked. 
  353. As soon as the 2017 inauguration is over, I’m getting a position on Trump’s ethics committee… I’m not political, I just need some quiet time alone.
  354. The date is 20 January 2017. Donald Trump has just been sworn in as President. He walks to the mic for his inauguration speech. He looks at Obama and says “You’re Fired!”
  355. Vladimir Putin has announced that he will be resigning as the President of Russia in January… He Putin his two month notice.
  356. I thought about being an elementary school history teacher… but I couldn’t see a future in it. 
  357. Why are hot dogs angry?… They are always getting roasted.
  358. Why did the teacher take Labor Day off?… She needed a break from grading all those papers.
  359. What job did the Cat in the Hat have at the circus?… Acrocat.
  360. What’s an unemployed person’s favorite cookie?… Pooreo’s.
  361. What’s the hardest trick in skateboarding?… Getting a job.
  362. Daughter: Is Auntie having her baby today? Mother:  Why did you think she is about to give birth? Daughter:  Because you said today was Labor Day!
  363. Grandpa: “I used to have an origami business.” Grandson: “What happened to it?” Grandpa: “It folded!”
  364. Why was the pregnant woman worried?… She’d told her husband it was Labor day and instead of coming to the hospital, he’d gone straight home!
  365. I got a job as a banker. I quit on the first week of his new job… I just didn’t have a lot of interest in it.
  366. Why did the astrologer not choose to become a historian when he was in high school?… He didn’t see a future in that field.
  367. Most people enjoy a day off on the 4th of July except fire… Fire works on the 4th of July.
  368. A worker was annoyed about only being allowed to use his left arm during work… He didn’t want to give up his rights.
  369. I am really excited about buying my first broom for my job as a cleaner… I was finally in the in-dust-ry.
  370. This Labor Day let’s salute American corporations for keeping the Chinese gainfully employed.
  371. The best day at work will never be as good as your worst day surfing.
  372. What do lawyers wear to work on Labor Day?… A lawsuit.
  373. Why did ancient Egyptians have a hard time recruiting laborers?… It was a pyramid scheme.
  374. What is Hercules’ favorite holiday?… Labor Day.
  375. What is a pregnant woman’s favorite holiday?… Labor Day. 
  376. What do you call a lazy kangaroo on Labor Day?… A pouch potato!
  377. Why did the union refuse to march on Labor Day?… They needed a day off.
  378. I had a terrible Labor Day weekend.  My wife was in a horrible car crash and lost her left leg and left arm.  She’s all right now.
  379. What do you call a group of workers who refuse to take a break on Labor Day?… Workaholics! 
  380. What do you get when you cross Labor Day with a golfer?… A day to tee off and relax. 
  381. How do ice-creams get to work?… The ice-cream van!
  382. What did the businesswoman say?… We’re in bees-ness now!
  383. What did the painter say to the wall on Labor Day? “Let’s take a break and enjoy the day off!” 
  384. Why did the painter take Labor Day off?… He needed to brush up on his relaxation skills.
  385. What do you call a factory worker who takes a day off? Unemployed on Labor Day! 
  386. Why did the grilled cheese sandwich maker get promoted?… He did a really gouda job at work.
  387. What is tomorrow if today is Cinco de Mayo?… Lieo de Boss
  388. The medicine factory was so quiet on Labor Day… you could hear a cough drop.
  389. I took a job as an upholsterer… but I never recovered.
  390. Lawyer Jokes: How did the hot dog get the job despite having a criminal record?… It was a misde-wiener.
  391. I studied to become a doctor… but I didn’t have enough patients for the job.
  392. I became a Velcro salesman… but I couldn’t stick with it.
  393. One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.  However, the only person to get his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.
  394. I worked in a shoe factory, but I just didn’t fit in. They thought I was a loafer, and I got the boot.
  395. If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end… it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
  396. I tried my hand at a professional career in tennis, but it wasn’t my racket… I was too high strung.
  397. Buck Moon Jokes: What is a banker’s favorite full moon?… The “Buck” Moon!
  398. I was a pilot, but tended to wing it, and… I didn’t have the right altitude.
  399. If today is labor day… how many babies were born?
  400. I became a personal trainer in a gym… but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
  401. I thought about being a historian… but I couldn’t see a future in it.
  402. Cape Cod Jokes: Where do Cape Cod fish work?… The Offish!
  403. I tried being a fireman… but I suffered burnout.
  404. I asked a little girl do you know why we get out of school for Labor Day? She was very enthusiastic to say “It is a time when all the mommys of the world go into labor.”
  405. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company…. but the work was just too draining
  406. I worked at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
  407. Why are locksmiths open on Labor Day?… They are key workers.
  408. I became a baker, but it wasn’t a cakewalk, and I couldn’t make enough dough… They fired me after I left a cake out in the rain.
  409. Why did the calendar factory worker get fired?… He took Labor Day off.
  410. Chocolate Chip Cookie Jokes: I’m making a cookie brand called NIT (new incredible taste). It will be shaped like a chocolate chip cookie and will contain a fortune on the bottom… FortuneNIT for you.
  411. I was an electrician, but I found the work shocking and revolting, so they discharged me.
  412. I turned to farming… but I wasn’t outstanding in my field.
  413. Since I became a lumberjack I have cut down 2,854 #trees… I know this because every time I cut one down I keep a log.
  414. I took a job as an elevator operator. The job had its ups and downs… then I got the shaft.
  415. I sold origami… but the business folded.
  416. I took a job at UPS… but I couldn’t express myself.
  417. Why did the submarine get a promotion?… It knew how to dive right into problems.
  418. I became a banker, but I lacked interest and maturity, and finally withdrew from the job.
  419. I was a professional fisherman… but I couldn’t live on my net income.
  420. So I’ve retired, and I find I’m a perfect fit for this job!
  421. Buck Moon Jokes: What is an investor’s favorite full moon?… The “Buck” Moon!
  422. Summer Solstice Jokes: Why did the Summer Solstice get promoted?… Because it was at its peak performance!
  423. Did you hear the joke about Labor Day?… It works for me!
  424. Why don’t comedians tell jokes about Labor Day?… They don’t work.
  425. Why aren’t boys born on Labor Day?… There’s no male delivery.
  426. When is Labor Day?… About 9 months after Father’s Day.
  427. Lord of the Rings Jokes: Why was Gandalf hunched over and stressed out?… He was short-staffed! 
  428. Labor Day Jokes: Why did the bald eagle start a business?… Because he wanted to soar to new heights!
  429. Dog Jokes: Why did the dog go to grad school?… To become a bark-chitect.
  430. Dog Jokes: What’s a dog’s ideal job?… Barkeology. 
  431. Labor Day Jokes: Why did the bald eagle apply for a job?… Because it needed to make some soaring income!
  432. What day are the most babies are born?… Labor Day.
  433. I thought about being a history teacher, but I couldn’t see a future in it. (Top Social Studies Jokes)
  434. I tried my hand at a professional career in racquetball, but it wasn’t my racket. I was too high strung.
  435. I tried my hand at a professional career in table tennis, but it wasn’t my racket. I was too high strung. 
  436. My mother was scared for me when I joined the Navy. It makes sense, my father was a telegraph operator in the navy and he got lost at C.
  437. Lord of the Rings Jokes: Gandalf was very unhappy at work… He couldn’t find his staff! 
  438. Lord of the Rings Jokes: What do you get when Gandalf and Bilbo are your network engineers?… A Tolkien Ring Network. 
  439. Lord of the Rings Jokes: What is an accountant’s favorite Lord of the Rings movie?… The Return of the King.
  440. Music Jokes: What is a florist’s least favorite band?… Badflower.
  441. Little League World Series Jokes: Which 2025 Little League World Series team was a favorite of arborists?… Brain TREE.

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