Dog Jokes

My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest Blogs for Education, Parents, Travel, Tutoring, Sports, Music and College.

• All State Jokes
• Civil War jokes
• Top 10 Dog Jokes & 101 Dog Jokes
• Dog Jokes:

Google Search “Dog Jokes”

1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best dog jokes.
2. Camping Jokes: First dog: Where do fleas go camping? Second dog: Search me! 
3. These dog jokes are FUR real funny!!!
4. What is the difference between a man and a dog?… A man wears trousers, a dog pants.
5. Bee Jokes: What’s more amazing than a talking dog?… A Spelling Bee.
6. We love Dog Man… Dav Pilkey should be the official author of National Dog Day.
7. My dog’s not fat… he’s just a little Husky.
8. Two men are walking through a graveyard with their dogs. One man turns to the other and says ‘Morning’ The other man replies ‘No, just walking the dog.”
9. Grady the Greyhound would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
10. What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?… His bark was much worse than it’s bite!
11. Book Jokes: Hush puppies… the unofficial dog of the American Library Association.
12. What’s a dog’s favorite mode of transportation?… A waggin’!
13. My dog accidentally ate sandpaper… it was rough.
14. What kind of dog does Dracula have?… A bloodhound! 
15. Labor Day Jokes: How do dogcatchers get paid?… By the pound.
16. My friend says her dog will retrieve a ball over a mile away… but that sounds far-fetched to me.
17. Music Jokes: Who Let the Dogs Out by The Baha Men… The unofficial song of National Dog Day.
18. Which breed of dog is the quietest?… A hush puppy!
19. Butler Blue IV would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
20. What kinds of outdoor markets do dogs despise?… Flea markets.
21. Book Jokes: Which breed of dog is the favorite of librarians?… A hush puppy!
22. The secret to life is to handle every situation like a dog: If you can’t play with it, eat it or bury it, just pee on it and walk away.
23. Pizza Jokes: What’s a dog’s favorite kind of pizza?… Pupperoni.
24. Teacher Jokes for August: Why did the dog do so well in school?… He was the teacher’s pet.
25. Navy Jokes: The US Navy will start to equip all their subs with emotional support dogs. After a lot study, they decided on Dachshunds… They will be subma-weiners. 
26. Book Jokes: Have you read the book Raising Dogs?… No? You should it’s a pup-up book.
27. Music Jokes: Three Dog Night… The unofficial band of National Dog Day.
28. My dad adopted a dog from the local blacksmith… As soon as he got home, he made a bolt for the door.
29. How is a dog and a marine biologist alike?… One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
30. I love my dog, but he does have one glaring fault… He can’t hold his licker.
31. Tree Jokes: What trees are dogs most afraid of?… Redwoods, they have the biggest bark.
32. I thought I was getting a guard dog… but I’ve come to realize I’ve just gotten a louder doorbell.
33. How did the dog get from Boston to New York?… He took a Greyhound.
34. What kind of car does a dog drive?… A Fur-rari.
35. Why should you be careful when it rains cats and dogs?… Because you might step in a poodle.
36. Baseball Jokes: Bob didn’t believe that Fred’s dog could talk. So Fred asked his dog, “What’s on top of a house?”…“Roof,” the dog barked. Bob wasn’t convinced. So Fred asked the dog how sandpaper feels….“Rough.” He still wasn’t convinced. “O.K., who was the greatest baseball player of all time?” Fred asked the dog….“Ruth.” With that, Bob walked away, shaking his head in disbelief. The dog turned to Fred and asked: “Was it Hank Aaron?”
37. Why did the family take their dog to the watchmaker?… It had ticks!
38. Egg Jokes: What do dogs eat for breakfast?… Pooched eggs.
39. Hot Dog Jokes: What do you call a dog with a fever?… A hot dog. 
40. College Jokes: What do dogs get after they graduate from obedience school?… Their masters.
41. Where should you go if your dog is missing?… The lost and hound.
42. Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?… He always wanted to get a long little doggy.
43. Teacher Jokes for August: Why are conjunctions dogs’ favorite parts of speech?… Dogs love buts.
44. Why did the poor puppy chase his own tail?… He was trying to make both ends meet!
45. New York Jokes: What is the puppy’s favorite city?… New Yorkie!
46. What type of market should you NEVER take your dog?… A flea market!
47. Watermelon Jokes: What do you call a dog that herds watermelons?… A Melon Collie.
48. Book Jokes: Dog Man… The unofficial book of National Dog Day.
49. Halloween Jokes: What’s a dog’s favorite trick to do on Halloween?… Play dead.
50. American Revolution Jokes: Which Founding Father is a dog’s favorite?… Bone Franklin.
51. American Revolution Jokes: What do you get when you cross a patriot with a dog?… A Yankee poodle dandy!
52. Halloween Jokes: How did the little Scottish puppy feel when he saw a monster?… Terrier-fied! 
53. Heaven forbid you forget to feed your dog… he’ll hound you about it all day.
54. Walking Jokes: What did one flea say to the other?… Should we walk or take a dog?
55. Black Friday Jokes: What was the special offer at the pet store this week?… Buy 1 Dog get 1 Flea!
56. Music Jokes: What is a dog’s favorite instrument?…  A trombone.
57. Psychology Jokes: What do you call a large dog that meditates?… Aware wolf. 
58. Barber Jokes: What kind of dog likes taking a bath every day?… A shampoo-dle.
59. Navy Jokes: Which breed of dog is most common in the Navy?… The aircraft terrier. 
60. Hot Dog Jokes: What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua?… A hot, diggety dog.
61. Police Jokes: What did the police officer do when he saw a dog giving birth on the side of the road?… Gave her a ticket for littering.
62. What did the Dalmatian say when he finished dinner?… That hit the spot.
63. Field Trip Jokes: Did you hear about the canine school that took a field trip to the flea circus?… They stole the show!
64. Field Trip Jokes: What dog keeps the best time on a field trip?…A watchdog.
65. Teacher Jokes for August: What did the dog say to its teacher when it forgot its homework?… “My owner ate my homework.”
66. What do you call a dog that licks an electrical socket?… Sparky.
67. Who is the most famous doggy magician in history?… Houndini.
68. College Jokes: Why did the dog go to grad school?… To become a bark-chitect.
69. What do you call a frozen dog?… A pupsicle.
70. What’s a dog’s favorite type of workout?… Pawlates!
71. Tree Jokes: What did the dog say to the tree?… Bark.
72. Cat Jokes: What did the cat say to the dog?…Check meow-t!
73. Cat Jokes: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?… A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! 
74. Music Jokes: What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog?… Dingo Starr!
75. What do you call a zoo with no animals except for one dog?… A shih tzu.
76. I tried to trick my dog into eating a healthy snack… but he didn’t bite.
77. College Football Jokes: UGA would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
78. Raining cats and dogs is one thing, but you know the weather is really bad when you see it reindeer.
79. Why was the tree drooling?… It was a dogwood. 
80. Doctor Jokes: What do a call a dog that sneezes?… A-choo-wawa.
81. College Football Jokes: What’s a dog’s favorite position to play in football?… Golden receiver.
82. What’s a dog’s favorite mode of transportation?… A covered waggin’!
83. What happened when the puppy went to the flea circus?… He stole the show!
84. What kind of dog can jump as high as a tall building?… Any kind. A building can’t jump!
85. Winter Jokes: What do you call a dog that’s playing outdoors in winter?… A chili dog.
86. Psychology Jokes: What did the therapy dog say to her client?… “That’s ruff.”
87. What do you get a dog for its birthday?… Pupcakes!
88. Navy Jokes: What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?… A petticoat!
89. What’s the best way to stop your dog from barking in the front yard?… Put him in the backyard.
90. Why did the dog go to the bank?… To make a de-paws-it.
91. College Football Jokes: Why didn’t the dog want to play football?… It was a boxer.
92. What do you call a dog crossed with a calculator?… A best friend you can always count on!
93. Psychology Jokes: Why were the fleas depressed?… Their whole town was going to the dogs.
94. What did the mommy dog say to the baby dog at bedtime?… “Hush, puppy!”
95. Hot Dog Jokes: What do you give a dog with a fever?… Ketchup! Everyone knows that’s the best thing to put on a hot dog.
96. What do you get if you cross a gold puppy with a telephone?… A golden receiver!
97. American Revolution Jokes: What do you get if you cross a patriotic American with a small curly-haired dog?… Yankee Poodle.
98. Walking Jokes: Why did the boy name his dog Ten Miles?… So he could tell his gym teacher he walked Ten Miles every day.
99. What do you call a dog with a Rolex?… A watch dog.
100. Pizza Jokes: What’s a dog’s favorite type of pizza?… Pupperoni and snausage!
101. What did the snowman name his pet dog?… Frost, because he bites.
102. College Jokes: What did the dog do when he graduated from obedience school?… He had a paw-ty!
103. Biology Jokes: Why didn’t the puppy speak to his foot?… Because it’s not polite to talk back to your paw! 
104. Psychology Jokes: What do you call it when a stressed dog goes shopping?… Re-tail therapy.
105. Music Jokes: I’ve taught my dog to bark along to ‘Sweet Caroline’… He’s a bit of a ruff Diamond…
106. Hot Dog Jokes: Why did the pooch sit in the shade?… He was a hot dog!
107. What happened when the girl took her dog to a flea circus?… He stole the show!
108. Egg Jokes: What is a dog’s favorite breakfast?… Pooched eggs and pupcakes.
109. What kind of dog should you get if you’re always late?… A watchdog!
110. What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel with a poodle and a rooster…? A cockerpoodlepoo!
111. What does my puppy and my phone have in common?… They both have collar I.D.
112. What is the fastest dog in the world?… A Labraghini.
113. What do you do if a dog chews your dictionary?… Take the words right out of his mouth!
114. Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?… He kept seeing spots!
115. Which dog breed is guaranteed to laugh at all of your jokes?… A Chi-ha-ha!
116. Doctor Jokes: Dogs can’t operate MRI machines… but they’re great at running Lab reports.
117. A three-legged dog limps into a saloon and yells, “Listen up! I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
118. Why do dogs float?… Because they’re good buoys!
119. What’s a dog’s favorite kind of store?… Re-tail.
120. Police Jokes: What do you call a great dog detective?… Sherlock Bones!
121. Who is the puppy’s favorite comedian?… Growlcho Marx!
122. Dogs are terrible with boundaries…. instead of standing up for themselves, they just roll over.
123. Music Jokes: What did the dog install in his car to impress all his friends?… A subwoofer!
124. College Football Jokes: Bully would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
125. College Football Jokes: Smokey X would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
126. College Football Jokes: Reveille would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
127. Hot Dog Jokes: What is the only kind of dog you can eat?… A hot dog!
128. What kind of dog chases anything red?… A Bulldog!
129. Black Friday Jokes: How do dogs pay for their shopping?… They scan the bark codes.
130. Which dog breed absolutely LOVES living in the city?… A New Yorkie!
131. How do fleas travel from place to place?… By itch-hiking!
132. Prom Jokes: Why did the dog skip the prom?… Because he had two left feet.
133. Homecoming Jokes: Why did the dog skip the Homecoming Dance?… Because he had two left feet.
134. What’s a dog’s favorite mode of transportation?… A station waggin’!
135. Why did the puppy cross the road?… To get to the “barking” lot!
136. What happens when it rains cats and dogs?… You can step in a poodle!
137. What did the dog say to the flea?… Stop bugging me!
138. Labor Day Jokes: What’s a dog’s ideal job?… Barkeology. 
139. Tree Jokes: Why was the cat scared of the tree?… Because of its bark.
140. Tree Jokes: Why do dogs make the best arborists?… Because they are experts in bark.
141. What’s a dog’s favorite mode of transportation to the beach?… A red waggin’!
142. What do you call a dog magician?… A labracadabrador.
143. What do puppies and story tellers have in common?… They both have tails!
144. Where do dogs go after their tails fall off?… The re-tail store.
145. College Football Jokes: Jonathan the Husky would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
146. College Football Jokes: Handsome Dan would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
147. College Football Jokes: Jack the Bulldog would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
148. What’s the friendliest thing in the world?… A wet dog.
149. Music Jokes: What do you call a dog with a surround sound system?… a Sub-woofer.
150. Doctor Jokes: What’s the medical diagnosis for owning too many dogs?… A doggy roverdose.
151. What’s a herding dog’s favorite game?… Hide and sheep.
152. Why are there no losers in a Dachshund race?… They’re all weiners.
153. What kind of dog never throws anything away?… A hoarder collie.
154. American Revolution Jokes: What’s red, white, blue, and almost as ugly as a dog?… A revolutionary warthog!
155. What do you call a cold dog?… A Chilli Dog.
156. What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?… That hit the spots!
157. What kind of dog likes taking a bath?…a shampoodle!
158. I refuse to take my dog on road trips anymore… He can be such a bark seat driver.
159. Skeleton Jokes: What did the skeleton say to the puppy?… boneappetite.
160. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?… Because they have two left feet.
161. Bee Jokes: What do you get when you cross a racing dog with a bumblebee?… A greyhound buzz!
162. Cemetery Jokes: Why do puppies bury bones in the ground?… Because you can’t bury them in trees!
163. Music Jokes: What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy?… “I must throw that doggie out the window!”
164. What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?… A collie-flower!
165. Why do puppies wag their tails?… “Because no one else will do it for them!”
166. What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?… “Well, doggone!”
167. Why did the dog need help on his Pros and Cons chart?… He was CON-fused!
168. What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?… A friend you can count on.
169. Did you hear about the dog who couldn’t stop talking like a horse?… It was a dog and pony show.
170. What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?…  The collie wobbles!
171. What do you call a black Eskimo dog?… A dusky husky!
172. When does a dog go “moo”?… When it is learning a new language!
173. What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?… It barked with de-light!
174. What happens when a dog chases a cat into a geysur?…It starts raining cats and dogs.
175. What is a dog’s favorite sport?…Formula 1 drooling! 
176. Why did the dog wear white sneakers?… Because his boots were at the menders!
177. What is a dog’s favorite food?… Anything that is on your plate!
178. What kind of dog sounds like you can eat it?… A sausage dog!
179. What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah?… A dog that chases cars – and catches them! 
180. Napping Jokes: Where did the dog fall asleep?… In the barking lot.
181. What time is it when ten dogs chase a cat?… Ten After One.
182. Why can’t dogs work the DVD remote?… Because they always it the Paws button!
183. Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?… Because all he ever said was “Rough, Rough”
184. What is a dog’s favorite flower?… Anything in your garden!
185. What’s a dog favorite hobby?… Collecting fleas!
186. How does a dog stop a video?… By pressing the paws button.
187. Where do you put barking dogs?… In a barking lot.
188. What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?… A chili dog on a bun! 
189. Why did the dog stay in the shade?… Because he did not want to turn into a hot dog.
190. Tree Jokes: Why did the dog bury himself in the back yard?… Cause you can’t grow a tree without bark.
191. Tree Jokes: What do you do when your dog goes missing in the forest?… Put your ear to a tree and listen for the bark.
192. Why did the dog cross the road twice?… He was trying to fetch a boomerang!
193. What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?… Cockerpoodledoo!
194. What do you call a sheepdog’s tail that can tell tall stories?… A shaggy dogs tale!
195. I asked my dog what’s that thing on top of the house?… And the he said “Roof Roof.”
196. Tree Jokes: Tree: Do you like bark? Dog: What do you think? I bark every day of my life.
197. What do you get when you cross a frog and a dog?… A croaker spaniel!
198. What’s a dog’s favorite dessert?… Pupcakes!
199. What did the dog say when he sat on some sandpaper?… That’s ruffffffff!!
200. Dalmatian say after his meal?… “That hit the spots!”
201. If you want your dog to stop digging up your garden… all you have to do is take away his shovel.
202. I’m deeply attached to about five people … and 400 dogs on the internet I’ve never met.