Christmas Tree Jokes
- December Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Christmas jokes.
- Music Jokes: What is the best Christmas present in the world?…. A broken drum, you can’t beat it!
- Why does Santa have 3 gardens?… So he can ho-ho-ho!
- Psychology Jokes: Why did Santa go to a psychiatrist?… He no longer believed in himself.
- The World’s Best Basketball Jokes: What is Santa’s favorite basketball play?… the give and “GO GO GO!”
- Grandparent Jokes: My grandparents go to church with me for Christmas Mass. Halfway through the service, Grandpa leans over and whispers Nana “I’ve just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?” Nana replies, “Put a new battery in your hearing aid.”
- How does Santa pay the elves?… Jingle bills!
- Wizard of Oz Jokes: Who visits the Munchkins on Christmas?… The Wizard of Claus.
- Christmas Wreath Jokes: Which famous person do you get when you make a wreath out of $100 bills?… Aretha Franklin.
- 2024 NBA Finals: What is Derrick White’s favorite Christmas song?… All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.
- Jaws Jokes: Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?… Santa Jaws!
- Psychology Jokes: What do you call a student who is afraid of Santa Claus?…. Claustrophobic.
- Lord of the Rings Jokes: I’m going to a Lord of the Rings themed Xmas party… I’m going to eat and be Merry!
- New York Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Irish band that sings the Fairy Tale of New York?… The Pogues.
- New York Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the New York Christmas song by the Pogues?… The Fairy Tale of New York.
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the most popular Bruce Springsteen Christmas songs?
- Why did Rudolph get a bad report card?… Because he went down in history.
- Hockey Jokes: Last Christmas my parents got me a pair of flip flops with matchbox cars glued to the bottom… Cheap Skates.
- Brownie Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Bacon… Bacon who?… Bacon brownies for Christmas!
- Thanksgiving Jokes: What did the Thanksgiving turkey say to the Christmas ham?… It’s nice to meat you!
- Lord of the Rings Jokes: I’m throwing a hobbit Christmas party… It’s just a little get-together!
- Cookie Jokes: Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?… He was feeling crummy.
- What is the difference between the alphabet and the Christmas alphabet?…The Christmas alphabet has no L (noel)
- Navy Jokes: What do you get when you cross a sheep, a warship, and a father?… A fleece navy dad.
- Snowman Jokes: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?… Frostbite
- Cookie Jokes: What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?…A cookie sheet!
- Snow Jokes: Where do Santa Claus and the elves keep their money?… In a snow bank.
- If an athlete gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?… Missile Toe.
- Psychology Jokes: What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?… Claustrophobic.
- Elves use what kind of money?… Jingle bills!
- What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery?… Welfy
- Reindeer Jokes: Where would a reindeer go to find her lost tail?… ”Re-tail” store.
- Reindeer Jokes: Which reindeer has the cleanest antlers?… Comet!
- Reindeer Jokes: How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?…He looks at his calen-”deer”!
- Music Jokes: Which elf was the best singer?… ELFis Presley.
- Why the turkey was asked to join the band by elves?… because he had the drum sticks!
- Snowman Jokes: What is for lunch on Christmas Day for snowmen?… Icebergers!
- Snowman Jokes: How do snowmen travel around?… By icicle!
- Snowman Jokes: How does one snowman greet another snowman?…. Ice to meet you.
- Snowman Jokes: What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?… Brrrr- itos.
- Snowman Jokes: What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?… Cold cash!
- Snowman Jokes: Where does a snowman keep his money?… In a snow bank.
- Psychology Jokes: What do call a tutor who is afraid of Santa Claus?….Claustrophobic.
- Psychology Jokes: What do call a teacher who is afraid of Santa Claus?….Claustrophobic.
- Christmas Eve Jokes: What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve?… Halo there!
- Police Jokes: If Santa Claus is crossed with a detective then you would get what?… Santa Clues!
- Cereal Jokes: What is the snowman’s breakfast?…Frosted flakes!
- Snowman Jokes: Where the snowman does dances on?… A snow ball!
- Snowman Jokes: What snowmen wear on the Christmas Eve?…Ice caps.
- When Santa doesn’t move then what he should be called?… Santa Pause.
- World Geography Jokes: How do sheep in Mexico greet Merry Christmas?… Fleece Navidad!
- Music Jokes: What kind of music does elves like best?… ”Wrap” music!
- How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?… A merry Christmas to ewe.
- Christmas Eve Jokes: What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?… Black mail!
- How do elves greet each other?… “Small world, isn’t it?”
- What do elves learn in schools?… the “elf”-abet!
- World Geography Jokes: What nationality is Santa?… North Polish!
- What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?… Crisp Cringle!
- Ghost Jokes: What did the ghost say to Santa?… We’ll have a boo Christmas without you!
- Cat Jokes: What do you call a cat at the beach during Christmastime?… Sandy Claws!
- Cereal Jokes: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?… Snowflakes!
- Why was Santa’s little helper sad?… He had low elf esteem!
- What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?… Ribbon Hood
- Christmas Eve Jokes: What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?… It’s Christmas, Eve!
- December Jokes: What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?… The letter “D!”
- Cat Jokes: Who delivers cat’s Christmas presents?… Santa Paws!
- Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney?… Because it soots him!
- Snowman Jokes: What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?…Chill out.
- Teacher Jokes for December: What does Jack Frost like best about school?… Snow and tell.
- Reindeer Jokes: Knock, knock…Who’s there?…Olive…Olive, who?…Olive the other reindeer.
- Book Jokes: A Christmas book never written: “What Did I Do Wrong THIS Year?” by Kole N. Stocking.
- Snowman Jokes: What did one snowman say to the other snowman?… Do you smell carrots?
- Snow Jokes: Knock Knock…Who’s there?… Snow… Snow who?… Snow business like show business!
- Grandparent Jokes: A kids grandparents visit over the holidays go to church for Christmas Mass. Halfway through the service, the grandpa leans over and whispers in his wife’s ear, “I’ve just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?” The Grandma replies, “Put a new battery in your hearing aid.”
- Knock Knock…Who’s there?…Avery…Avery who?…Avery merry Christmas!
- Knock Knock…Who’s there?…Mary… Mary who?… Mary Christmas!
- Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?… Because the angel had said, “No L!”
- Labor Day Jokes: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?… You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
- Reindeer Jokes: What do reindeer say before telling a joke?… This one will sleigh you!
- Reindeer Jokes: Why is a reindeer like a gossip?… Because they are both tail bearers!
- Reindeer Jokes: Why do reindeer wear fur coats ?… Because they would look silly in plastic macs!
- Reindeer Jokes: How do you make a slow reindeer fast?… Don’t feed it!
- Reindeer Jokes: Where do you find reindeer?… It depends on where you leave them!
- Snowman Jokes: What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?… She gave him the cold shoulder!
- What’s an ig?… An eskimo’s home without a loo!
- Snow Jokes: What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?… A snowball!
- Snowman Jokes: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?… You wake up wet!
- Snowman Jokes: What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?… Frost bite!
- Cow Jokes: How do you call an Eskimo cow?… An Eskimoo!
- Snow Jokes: What’s white and goes up?… A confused snowflake!
- What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?… A Christmas Quacker!
- Reindeer Jokes: Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?… Rude-olph!
- Cow Jokes: What do cows say at Christmas?… MOOey Christmas!
- Christmas Tree Jokes: Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?… They are always dropping their needles.
- Why do mummies like Christmas so much?… Because of all the wrapping!
- What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?… Santa Claus.
- Music Jokes: What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?… Christmas Corals!
- How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?… Nothing, it was on the house!
- Cookie Jokes: What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?… Santa’s burps!
- Cookie Jokes: What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?… Santa’s farts!
- Music Jokes: What Christmas carol is a favorite of parents?… Silent Night.
- Snowman Jokes: What do you call a snowman in the summer?… A puddle!
- Reindeer Jokes: What does Santa clean his sleigh with?… Comet.
- Snowman Jokes: What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?… An ice burger with chili sauce.
- Why is Santa so good at karate?… Because he has a black belt!
- Why did the candy cane cross the road?… Because it wanted to get a licking!
- What kind of bug hates Christmas?… A humbug.
- World Geography Jokes: What two countries should the chef use when he’s making Christmas dinner?… Turkey and Greece.
- Jaws Jokes: Who gives presents to baby sharks?… Santa Jaws.
- What’s white, red and blue at Christmas time?… A sad candy cane!
- Doctor Jokes: What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?… Tinsilitis!
- What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?… “Looks like rain, dear.”
- Christmas Tree Jokes: What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?… “Aren’t you tired of hanging around?”
- What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?… Jungle bells, Jungle bells…
- What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?… Krisp Cringle.
- Did you hear about the fire cracker’s Christmas party?… It was a BANG!
- Christmas Tree Jokes: What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?… Pineapple.
- What is the cleanest reindeer called?… Comet.
- How do you know when Santa’s in the room?… You can sense his presents.
- Christmas Eve Jokes: What comes before Christmas Eve?… Christmas Adam!
- Teacher Jokes for December: Why did Jimmy’s grades drop after the holidays?… Because everything was marked down!
- Snow Jokes: Knock knock… Who’s there? … Snow… Snow who? …. Snow use. I forgot my name again!
- Knock knock…Who’s there?… Irish... Irish who? … Irish you a Merry Christmas!
- Knock knock... Who’s there? … Mary and Abbey... Mary and Abbey who? … Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!
- Christmas Tree Jokes: Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Christmas Tree jokes.
- Basketball Jokes for Christmas: What is a basketball player’s favorite Christmas song?… “Oh Christmas Three, Oh Christmas Three!”
- Music Jokes: What is the #1 requested Christmas Tree song by the Vince Guaraldi Trio?… “O Tannenbaum (O Christmas Tree)”
- Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?… It needed to be trimmed.
- Grinch Jokes: How does the Grinch measure Christmas Trees?… In grinches.
- Reindeer Jokes: What do reindeer use to decorate their Christmas trees?… Horn-aments.
- Did you hear the joke about the Christmas Tree?… It is really sappy!
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the date of National Christmas Tree Day?
- What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?… “Aren’t you tired of hanging around?”
- Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?… They are always dropping their needles.
- How did the Christmas tree get in trouble?… It was knotty.
- My Dad was a Christmas tree salesman…. Before he started work he always got himself spruced up.
- What’s another name for an artificial Christmas Tree?… Faux fir.
- How do Christmas trees get their email?… They log-on.
- Where do young trees learn to become Christmas trees?… In elementree school.
- Why are Christmas trees more noticeable on Christmas?… They have more presence.
- What month do Christmas trees hate most?… Sep-timber!
- How did the two rival Christmas trees get along?… They signed a peace tree-ty.
- Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite rock band?… Spruce Springsteen & the Tree Street Band.
- What did one Christmas tree decoration say to the other?… Let’s hang out!
- Why does a fully decorated Christmas Tree weigh less than a non decorated one?… Because it’s lighter.
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Candy.… Candy who?… Candy canes hanging on the Christmas tree.
- Why do Christmas trees make such wonderful pets?… They have a great bark, but wooden bite.
- How can you identify a Christmas tree?… By its bark!
- Which Canadian city is a favorite vacation spot for Christmas trees?… Montreeal.
- How can Christmas trees grow so big?… When they get enough rein, deer.
- Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist?… It needed a root canal.
- Why don’t Christmas trees every pollute?… They are ever green.
- What was the fitness trainer best at during the Christmas season?… Trimming the tree!
- How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?… He was hooked on trees his whole life.
- Why did the Christmas tree get in trouble with the umpire?… Too much pine tar on his bat!
- Why do Christmas Trees have trouble sewing?… They can’t stop dropping their needles!
- What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm?… May the forest be with you.
- What do a Christmas Tree an out-going president have in common?… Both will be out in January.
- Where would you find a Christmas tree?… Between a Christmas two and a Christmas four!
- What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?… Ornamints.
- What kind of coats do Christmas trees wear?… Fir.
- What do you get when you eat Christmas ornaments?… Tinsel-itis!
- A book never written: “How to Decorate a Tree” by Orna Ment.
- What city did the Christmas tree want to move to?… Garland.
- What do they sing to Christmas trees at their retirement parties?… Fir he’s a jolly good fellow, fir he’s a jolly good fellow.
- Why didn’t the Christmas tree perform well on it’s algebra test?… It got stumped by the problems.
- Which former president planted the most Christmas trees?… Wood-row Wilson!
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Dishes… Dishes who?… Dish is a nice place to put a Christmas tree.
- Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?… Because the present’s beneath them.
- What happens to Christmas trees on Valentine’s Day?… They get all sappy.
- What did one Christmas tree say to the other Christmas tree?… “I wish Christmas would last forever because there would be no Sep-timber!
- What was the Christmas tree’s favorite thing about Star Trek?… The Captain’s log.
- What was the Christmas tree’s favorite shape?… A treeangle.
- What did the Balsam Fir say when he was picked up from the tree farm?… Christmas be my lucky day!
- Why did the Christmas tree book an appointment at the hair salon?… For a trim.
- What do scientists decorate at Christmas?… A chemis-tree!
- Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… Pudding… Pudding who?… Pudding up the Christmas tree!
- What did Santa say to the elves about their tree-decorating skills?… You need to spruce it up!
- Why did the Christmas tree visit the hospital?… Because it was feeling green.
- Who’s a Christmas tree’s favorite action-hero actor?… Spruce Willis.
- Why did the Christmas tree apply for a new job?… It wanted to branch out.
- What did the Christmas tree do after it’s bank closed?… It started his own branch.
- Why did the Christmas tree go to decorating school?… So it could spruce up the forest.
- How can you get down from a Christmas tree?… You can’t… down comes from ducks.
- Why can’t Christmas trees sew?… They always drop their needles.
- Why was the Christmas tree’s friend so sad?… It was a weeping willow.
- What was the Christmas tree’s favorite subject in high school?… Treegonometree.
- What gets one year older when it rings?… A Christmas tree.
- What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?… “Quit hanging around.”
- What do you call a Christmas tree in a bad mood? A sour-fir. What did the Christmas tree say when it started sound-sleeping?… “I’m pine-ing for rest.”
- Why are Christmas trees bad at telling jokes?… Their punchlines fall flat.
- Why did the ornament fall off the tree?… It couldn’t hang.
- Why did the Christmas tree go to therapy?… It had too many needles on its conscience.
- Why was the Christmas tree bad at driving?… It kept barking up the wrong side of the road.
- Why did the Christmas tree get promoted?… It had great roots in the company.
- How did the Christmas tree do in the talent show?…. It sleighed the audience.
- What’s a Christmas tree’s favorite workout?… Plank pose.
- How many Christmas trees can you plant in the ground?… All of them.
- What do Christmas trees get when they go numb?… Pines and needles!
- Why didn’t the Christmas tree perform well on its algebra test?… It got stumped by all the questions!
- What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree?… Christmas chopping!
- What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad?… A pineApple!
- What did one Christmas tree say to another?… Lighten up!
- Why do Christmas trees make such great receivers in football?… They have sticky fingers.
- Which type of Christmas tree is green, has a trunk and leaves?… A Christmas tree going on vacation.
- What do ornaments do on Christmas trees…. Not much, they just hang out.
- Which month of the year don’t Christmas trees like?… Sep-timber.
- How did the boy cut down the Christmas tree without going near it?… He saw it with his own two eyes.
- Why was the Christmas tree hosting the awards show?… He really knew how to present.
- How are Christmas trees like blockbuster movies?… They both have stars.
- What did the Jedi say to the Christmas tree?… May the forest be with you.
- What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree?… Been nice gnawing you.
- What is the most frustrating thing about being a Christmas tree?… Having so many limbs and not being able to walk.
- How can you tell if you have a girl Christmas tree?… Look for the tree skirt.
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Angel… Angel who?… Angel on top of my Christmas tree.
- Knock knock… Who’s there?… Atch… Atch who?… Bless you – are you allergic to Christmas trees?
- How was the Christmas tree like a clumsy seamstress?… They both drop needles.
- What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?… Pineapple.
- Why are there so many Christmas trees at the North Pole…. BeClaus, why not?
- What’s as big as a Christmas tree but is lighter than a feather?… It’s shadow.
- How many Christmas trees can you plant on an empty farm?… One, because then the farm isn’t empty anymore.
- Why did the Christmas tree go to the doctor?… It was feeling green.
- What do Christmas tree’s wear at the pool?… Swim trunks.
- How do Christmas trees make their feeling heard?… They O-pine.
- Why couldn’t the Christmas tree stand up?… Because a Christmas tree doesn’t have legs.
- How many pine cones grow on a Christmas tree?… All of them.
- What looks like half a Christmas tree?… The other half.
- What do you call it when Christmas tree’s boycott something?… A Christmas tree stand.
- Which side of a Christmas tree has the most needles?… The outside.
- Why did the boy put ice cream under the Christmas tree?… To go with the pine cones.
- Music Jokes: What is the #1 requested Christmas Tree song?… “O Tannenbaum (O Christmas Tree)”
- Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite rock singer?… Spruce Springsteen.
- What was Santa’s favorite subject at school?… Chemist-tree.
- Reindeer Jokes: How do you turn a Christmas tree into a reindeer?… You put on HORNaments!
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?… Frostbite.