Alaska Jokes

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1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Alaska jokes.
2. Prom Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Alaska… Alaska who?… Alaska her to the prom if you think she will say yes. 
3. Camping Jokes: Teacher: Where did your sister go camping? Student: Alaska. Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself. 
4. June Jokes: Alaska has its own capital!… Did Juneau that? 
5. Culturally no one in Alaska dates in the winter. When asked why, one Alaskan replied, “We try, but it’s hard to break the ice.” 
6. Dad: What’s the capital of Alaska? Me: Juneau. Dad: No, I don’t. That’s why I’m asking you.
7. Police Jokes: The day after his wife vanished in a kayaking accident, a man from Anchorage, opened his door to find two serious-looking Alaska State Troopers standing before him. “Sir we regret to inform you that we have news regarding your wife,” one trooper began. “Tell me! Did you find her?” the husband blurted out, anxiously. The troopers exchanged glances. One spoke, “We have some bad news, some good news, and some fantastic news. Which would you like to hear first?” Bracing himself, a pale husband responded, “Give me the bad news.” The trooper said, “I’m sorry, sir, but we recovered your wife’s body in Kachemak Bay this morning.” “Oh no!” gasped Wilkens. After a moment, he gathered himself and asked, “So, what’s the good news?” The trooper explained, “Well, when we brought her up, she had 12 twenty-five-pound king crabs, and six large Dungeness crabs attached to her. We’re confident you’re entitled to a share of the catch.” Stunned, Wilkens asked, “If that’s the good news, then what’s the fantastic news?” With a straight face, the trooper replied, “We’re pulling her up again tomorrow.”
8. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island… but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
9. Book Jokes: What is Alaska’s official state novel?… “Fifty Shades of Grey.“
10. Why did the glacier in Alaska go to therapy?… It had a meltdown. (Psychology Jokes)
11. What did the Bering Sea say to the coast of Alaska?… Nothing, it waved! (Ocean Jokes)
12. What do you get from an Alaskan cow?…  Ice Cream! (Ice Cream Jokes)
13. In Alaska, where it gets very cold, pi is only 3.00. As you know, everything shrinks in the cold. They call it Eskimo pi.
14. Where is the best place to dock your fishing boat in Alaska?… “Anchor” age. 
15. If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?…. Idaho, Alaska! 
16. Why do they have so many Taco Bells in Anchorage?… Because Alaskans love brrrrrrrritos.
17. Alaska Pun: Seafood in Alaska is the reel thing. 
18. Alaska Pun: Denali ain’t just a river in Egypt.
19. Alaska Pun: I always feel Whittier in Alaska.
20. Summer Jokes: Teacher: Where did your mom go for her summer vacation? Student: Alaska. Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself. 
21. I went to a fancy restaurant in Alaska. The waiter asked me if I wanted my steak rare, medium, or well done. I said “Doesn’t matter, it’ll be frozen by the time I get it.“
22. Earthquake Jokes: Hi nice to meet you, did you hear the news of the Alaskan earthquake?… Sorry, that is not a good icebreaker.
23. Did you hear the joke about Denali (Mount McKinley 20,310 feet)?… You won’t get over it. (A Guide to Alaska’s Grandest Mountains)
24. Cat Jokes: What do you call an Alaskan cat on ice?… Purr-ma-frost.
25. “It’s important to remember your survival training when hiking in Alaska… Run like hell and hope your faster than your friend!”
26. Fishing Jokes: Why do Alaskans go fishing?… For the Halibut.
27. A female’s perspective on dating in Alaska… The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
28. You might be an Alaskan if… You have four seasons: 1. Almost Winter 2. Winter 3. Still Winter 4. Construction 
29. Tree Jokes: How do you know your Alaskan?… You know which leaves make good toilet paper! 
30. Fishing Jokes: What do you call a fish from Alaska with no eyes?… FSH.
31. Fishing Jokes: Why did the Halibut blush?… Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
32. College Jokes: Teacher: Where did your mom go to college? Student: Alaska Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself. 
33. Why couldn’t the Anchorage school district buy enough buses for children?… Because they had to buy the Zambonis first! (Hockey Jokes)
34. Alaska Pun: May the North be with you.
35. What did Delaware to the basketball game?… Idaho, Alaska. Maybe her New Jersey.
36. Florida Jokes: What did the Alaskan say when he won the lottery?… “Time to move to Florida.“
37. Elementary School Jokes: Teacher: Where did your mom go to elementary school? Student: Alaska Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself. 
38. Middle School Jokes: Teacher: Where did your mom go to middle school? Student: Alaska Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself. 
39. Where do Alaska fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Kenai River. (Top 10 Fishing Rivers in Alaska)
40. A male’s perspective on dating in Alaska… The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
41. Nobody in Alaska dates during the winter… hard to break the ice.
42. Texas Jokes: How do you tick off a Texan obsessed with being the biggest?… Slice Alaska in two, and watch ’em drop to third.
43. Why do they have so many Taco Bells in Anchorage?… Because Alaskans love brrrrrrrritos. (Burrito Jokes)
44. Hamburger Jokes: What do Alaskans order at McDonalds?… Icberg-ers and fries. 
45. Police Jokes: What does the Alaska police say in an interrogation?… Alaska questions here!
46. What sort of pudding roams wild in the Alaska?… Moose.
47. Most Alaskans don’t keep their money in greedy banks… they keep it in Fairbanks.
48. If the Ninja Turtles moved to Alaska… they’d live in Seward.
49. Alaska Pun: There’s no place like Nome.
50. Alaska Pun: It’s never a moose-take to come to Alaska.
51. Alaska Pun: I can’t a-fjord a trip to Alaska right now.
52. Alaska Pun: I like big halibuts and I cannot lie.
53. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. Agulukpak River. (Top 10 Fishing Rivers in Alaska)
54. Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Alaska Anchorage library?… Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
55. Alaska Tourist: “Have you lived in Alaska all your life?” Alaska Local: “No, not yet.”
56. Alaska Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Alaska Local: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.”
57. What do you call fifty penguins in Alaska?… Lost….Really Lost! (penguins live in Antarctica) 
58. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the governor from Alaska?
59. What do you call a dishonest cat at the The Alaska Zoo?… Lion.
60. Alaska Pun: It’s hard to be crabby when the food is so good.
61. Alaska Pun: A trip to Alaska is very a-moose-ing.
62. What do you get when you drive quickly through Alaska?…  A vice presidential nomination. 
63. High School Jokes: Teacher: Where did your mom go to high school? Student: Alaska Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself. 
64. Police Jokes: This is the Alaska State Police… Where were you during the night of November 14th to February 12th? 
65. Alaska Tourism Bear Warning
66. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Alaska?
67. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Alaska knock-knock joke?  
68. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Alaska knock knock jokes? 
69. You might be an Alaskan if… You learned to swim indoors. 
70. What do Alaskans order at McDonalds?… Icberg-ers with chili sauce. 
71. What did Alaska see?… Same thing Arkansas.
72. How many Alaskans does it take to change a lightbulb?… None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man! 
73. How do Alaskans get a great upper body workout?… By shoveling their driveways! (Winter Jokes)
74. What did Dela ware to the Iditarod?… I don’t know but Alaska. (Iditarod Jokes)
75. Why did the Alaskan get frost bite?… He was walking around brrrrrrrfooted.
76. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Alaska Turnpike! 
77. Why should Alaskan’s be excited about Russia holding the 2018 World Cup?… Because if you have eyes like Sarah Palin you can watch the games from home!
78. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe the state flower of Alaska?
79. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe the state bird of Alaska?
80. What is the tallest building in Alaska ?… Alaska Public Library of course, it has the most stories!
81. Why did Alaska disband its water polo team?… All the horses drowned.
82. What is the Alaskan Inuits ancient approximation for the mathematical term “pi”?… Eskimo Pi! 
83. Why is “The Wave” banned in Alaska Airlines Center?… Two fans drowned last year.
84. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the two senators from Alaska?
85. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the U.S. Representatives from Alaska?
86. The art teacher in Alaska always said, “Draw your own conclusions, but don’t color outside the lines!”
87. Why do Alaska students excel in science?… Because they always experiment with their learning!
88. The chemistry teacher in Alaska had a great reaction to student questions… they always ignited curiosity!
89. The biology class in Alaska was so lively… it really had a cell-ebration going on!
90. Why do folks in Alaska go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?… The sign said “17 and under not admitted.”
91. What do Alaskans sing when they get excited?… Who let the sled dogs out! (Dog Jokes)
92. Masters Jokes: Hole #4 What do you get when you cross a florist, an Alaskan fisherman and an apple… Flowering Crab Apple! 
93. What’s the capital of Alaska?”… “Juneau”… “No, I don’t, that’s why I’m asking.”  
94. You might be an Alaskan if… You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car. 
95. You might be an Alaskan if… You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. 
96. Why couldn’t the Anchorage school district buy enough buses for children?… Because they had to buy the Zambonis first! 
97. Why did the fisherman want to go fishing in Alaska?… Just for the halibut.  
98. What sort of pudding roams wild in the Alaska?… Moose. 
99. What did Delaware to the basketball game?… Idaho, Alaska Maybe her NewJ ersey. 
100. What is the most common food in Alaska?… Brrrrrrrgers! 
101. How do Alaskans get a great upper body workout?… By shoveling their driveways! 
102. How many Alaskan Huskies does it take to change a light bulb?… At least 16. They have to go to Nome for the light bulb and they can’t go alone. 
103. Why do Alaska golfers always carry around two pairs of pants?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
104. Why do Alaska golfers always carry around two shirts?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
105. Why do Alaska golfers always carry around two pairs of socks?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
106. Why do Alaska love sunrises?… Because it means the world has one more day to see how great Alaska is.
107. How do you know if Sarah Palin is having marriage troubles?… She sends her husband hunting with Dick Cheney! 
108. You might be an Alaskan if… You can’t imagine life without duct tape!
109. You might be an Alaskan if… You’ve hit a pothole and totaled your car. 
110. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have 100 Alaska jokes?
111. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have 101 Alaska jokes?
112. Alaska Pun: I don’t know, but Alaska
113. Alaska Pun: We’ll be burning up like Northern Lights
114. Why is Sarah Palin not a hockey mom?… Because she did a poor job telling her daughters about “keeping players out of the crease!” 
115. Why do Alaskans have TGIF on their shoes?… Toes Go In First! 
116. How do you get a man in Alaskan to do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes..
117. What do you call an Alaskan in a BCS bowl game?… A referee. 
118. What are the best four years of an Alaskans life?… Third grade