Alaska Jokes

by | Jan 3, 2026 | Latest News | 0 comments

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  1. Alaska Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Alaska jokes.
  2. Police Jokes: The day after his wife vanished in a kayaking accident, a man from Anchorage, opened his door to find two serious-looking Alaska State Troopers standing before him. “Sir we regret to inform you that we have news regarding your wife,” one trooper began. “Tell me! Did you find her?” the husband blurted out, anxiously. The troopers exchanged glances. One spoke, “We have some bad news, some good news, and some fantastic news. Which would you like to hear first?” Bracing himself, a pale husband responded, “Give me the bad news.” The trooper said, “I’m sorry, sir, but we recovered your wife’s body in Kachemak Bay this morning.” “Oh no!” gasped Wilkens. After a moment, he gathered himself and asked, “So, what’s the good news?” The trooper explained, “Well, when we brought her up, she had 12 twenty-five-pound king crabs, and six large Dungeness crabs attached to her. We’re confident you’re entitled to a share of the catch.” Stunned, Wilkens asked, “If that’s the good news, then what’s the fantastic news?” With a straight face, the trooper replied, “We’re pulling her up again tomorrow.”
  3. Doctor Jokes: I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island… but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
  4. Book Jokes: What is Alaska’s official state novel?… “Fifty Shades of Grey.“
  5. Prom Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Alaska… Alaska who?… Alaska her to the prom if you think she will say yes. 
  6. Alaska Pun: There’s no place like Nome.
  7. Pi Jokes: In Alaska, where it gets very cold, pi is only 3.00. As you know, everything shrinks in the cold. They call it Eskimo pi.
  8. Fishing Jokes: Where is the best place to dock your fishing boat in Alaska?… “Anchor” age. 
  9. Psychology Jokes: Why did the glacier in Alaska go to therapy?… It had a meltdown.
  10. June Jokes: Alaska has its own capital!… Did Juneau that? 
  11. Culturally no one in Alaska dates in the winter. When asked why, one Alaskan replied, “We try, but it’s hard to break the ice.” 
  12. Alaska Pun: Seafood in Alaska is the reel thing. 
  13. Police Jokes: This is the Alaska State Police… Where were you during the night of November 14th to February 12th? 
  14. Why do they have so many Taco Bells in Anchorage?… Because Alaskans love brrrrrrrritos.
  15. Camping Jokes: Teacher: Where did your sister go camping? Student: Alaska. Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself. 
  16. Alaska Tourism Bear Warning: “You don’t have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun the others.”
  17. Dad Jokes: Dad: What’s the capital of Alaska? Me: Juneau. Dad: No, I don’t. That’s why I’m asking you.
  18. What do you get when you drive quickly through Alaska?…  A vice presidential nomination. 
  19. A female’s perspective on dating in Alaska… The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
  20. A male’s perspective on dating in Alaska… The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
  21. Ocean Jokes: What did the Bering Sea say to the coast of Alaska?… Nothing, it waved!
  22. Alaska Pun: I always feel Whittier in Alaska.
  23. Summer Jokes: Teacher: Where did your mom go for her summer vacation? Student: Alaska. Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself. 
  24. I went to a fancy restaurant in Alaska. The waiter asked me if I wanted my steak rare, medium, or well done. I said “Doesn’t matter, it’ll be frozen by the time I get it.“
  25. Did you hear the joke about Denali (Mount McKinley 20,310 feet)?… You won’t get over it. (A Guide to Alaska’s Grandest Mountains)
  26. Texas Jokes: How do you tick off a Texan obsessed with being the biggest?… Slice Alaska in two, and watch ’em drop to third.
  27. Ice Cream Jokes: What do you get from an Alaskan cow?…  Ice Cream! (Ice Cream Jokes)
  28. Delaware Jokes: What did Dela ware to the Iditarod?… I don’t know but Alaska.
  29. Earthquake Jokes: Hi nice to meet you, did you hear the news of the Alaskan earthquake?… Sorry, that is not a good icebreaker.
  30. Alaska Pun: It’s never a moose-take to come to Alaska.
  31. Alaska Tourist: “Have you lived in Alaska all your life?” Alaska Local: “No, not yet.”
  32. If the Ninja Turtles moved to Alaska… they’d live in Seward.
  33. Delaware Jokes: Mississippi lent Missourie her New Jersey. What will Delaware?… Idaho, Alaska.
  34. If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?…. Idaho, Alaska! 
  35. Alaska Pun: Denali ain’t just a river in Egypt.
  36. Hockey Jokes: Why couldn’t the Anchorage school district buy enough buses for children?… Because they had to buy the Zambonis first!
  37. Most Alaskans don’t keep their money in greedy banks… they keep it in Fairbanks.
  38. Fishing Jokes: Why do Alaskans go fishing?… For the Halibut.
  39. Cat Jokes: What do you call an Alaskan cat on ice?… Purr-ma-frost.
  40. Hiking Jokes: “It’s important to remember your survival training when hiking in Alaska… Run like hell and hope you are faster than your friend!”
  41. You might be an Alaskan if… You have four seasons: 1. Almost Winter 2. Winter 3. Still Winter 4. Construction. 
  42. How do you know if Sarah Palin is having marriage troubles?… She sends her husband hunting with Dick Cheney! 
  43. Tree Jokes: How do you know your Alaskan?… You know which leaves make good toilet paper! 
  44. Fishing Jokes: What do you call a fish from Alaska with no eyes?… FSH.
  45. Fishing Jokes: Why did the Halibut blush?… Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
  46. College Jokes: Teacher: Where did your mom go to college? Student: Alaska Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself. 
  47. Why should Alaskan’s be excited about Russia holding the 2018 World Cup?… Because if you have eyes like Sarah Palin you can watch the games from home!
  48. Alaska Pun: May the North be with you.
  49. What did Delaware to the basketball game?… Idaho, Alaska. Maybe her New Jersey.
  50. Florida Jokes: What did the Alaskan say when he won the lottery?… “Time to move to Florida.“
  51. Where do Alaska fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Kenai River. (Top 10 Fishing Rivers in Alaska)
  52. Alaska Pun: I like big halibuts and I cannot lie.
  53. Alaska Pun: I can’t a-fjord a trip to Alaska right now.
  54. What did Alaska see?… Same thing Arkansas.
  55. Why do they have so many Taco Bells in Anchorage?… Because Alaskans love brrrrrrrritos.
  56. Hamburger Jokes: What do Alaskans order at McDonalds?… Icberg-ers and fries. 
  57. Police Jokes: What does the Alaska police say in an interrogation?… Alaska questions here!
  58. What sort of pudding roams wild in the Alaska?… Moose.
  59. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the governor from Alaska?
  60. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. Agulukpak River. (Top 10 Fishing Rivers in Alaska)
  61. Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Alaska Anchorage library?… Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
  62. Alaska Pun: A trip to Alaska is very a-moose-ing.
  63. You might be an Alaskan if… You learned to swim indoors. 
  64. Alaska Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Alaska Local: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.”
  65. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Alaska Turnpike! 
  66. What do you call fifty penguins in Alaska?… Lost….Really Lost! (penguins live in Antarctica) 
  67. What do you call a dishonest cat at the The Alaska Zoo?… Lion.
  68. Alaska Pun: It’s hard to be crabby when the food is so good.
  69. What do Alaskans sing when they get excited?… Who let the sled dogs out! (Dog Jokes)
  70. Why did the Alaskan get frost bite?… He was walking around brrrrrrrfooted.
  71. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Alaska?
  72. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Alaska knock-knock joke?  
  73. What is the tallest building in Alaska ?… Alaska Public Library of course, it has the most stories!
  74. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Alaska knock knock jokes? 
  75. Why do folks in Alaska go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?… The sign said “17 and under not admitted.”
  76. What is the Alaskan Inuits ancient approximation for the mathematical term “pi”?… Eskimo Pi! 
  77. What do Alaskans order at McDonalds?… Icberg-ers with chili sauce. 
  78. How many Alaskans does it take to change a lightbulb?… None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man! 
  79. How do Alaskans get a great upper body workout?… By shoveling their driveways!
  80. What did Dela ware to the Iditarod?… I don’t know but Alaska.
  81. Masters Jokes: Hole #4 What do you get when you cross a florist, an Alaskan fisherman and an apple… Flowering Crab Apple! 
  82. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the state flower of Alaska?
  83. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the state bird of Alaska?
  84. Why did Alaska disband its water polo team?… All the horses drowned.
  85. Why did Alaska disband its water polo team?… All the horses froze.
  86. Alaska Pun: I don’t know, but Alaska.
  87. Alaska: America hates us because America ain’t us.
  88. Election Jokes: It’s so cold in this morning…on my way to work I walked past the Juneau and the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.
  89. Alaska Pun: We’ll be burning up like Northern Lights.
  90. Why is “The Wave” banned in Alaska Airlines Center?… Two fans drowned last year.
  91. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the two senators from Alaska?
  92. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the U.S. Representatives from Alaska?
  93. The art teacher in Alaska always said, “Draw your own conclusions, but don’t color outside the lines!”
  94. High School Jokes: Teacher: Where did your mom go to high school? Student: Alaska Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself. 
  95. You might be an Alaskan if… You can’t imagine life without duct tape!
  96. Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in Alaska.
  97. Election Jokes: We’re not sure who is dumber – the politicians or the voters.
  98. Two Alaskan tugboat captains who had been friends for years, would always cry “Aye!” and blow their whistles whenever they passed each other. A rookie crewman asked his boat’s mate, “What do they do that for?” The mate looked surprised and replied, “You mean that you’ve never heard of an aye for an aye and a toot for a toot?”
  99. Napping Jokes: A retired man from Alaska was jailed for refusing to nap… …he was resisting a rest.
  100. Over the summer, Alaska expected to break the hottest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as 100°F… NOT cool.
  101. Over the winter, Alaska is expected to break the coldest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as -80°F… NOT cool.. FREEZING.
  102. Can you name the capitol of Alaska?… “A”
  103. I’m absolutely disgusted with the state my life is in right now. I live in Alaska.
  104. A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a Alaska good joke. The bartender says, “Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I’m from Alaska. See that guy at the end of the bar? He’s 6-4 and weighs 250 and he’s from Alaska, too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He’s 6-6 and weighs 280 and he’s from Alaska, too! Now, do you still want to tell your joke?” The guy says, “Nah.” To which the bartender smiles and says, “What’s the matter? Are ya chicken?” The guy says, “Nah. I just don’t want to have to explain it three times.”
  105. What state does the flow in?… Liquid.
  106. What state does the Kenai River NOT flow in?… Frozen. (Top 10 Fishing Rivers in Alaska)
  107. You might be an Alaskan if… You’ve hit a pothole and totaled your car. 
  108. You might be an Alaskan if… You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car. 
  109. You might be an Alaskan if… You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. 
  110. What’s the capital of Alaska?”… “Juneau”… “No, I don’t, that’s why I’m asking.”  
  111. Why do Alaska students excel in science?… Because they always experiment with their learning!
  112. The chemistry teacher in Alaska had a great reaction to student questions… they always ignited curiosity!
  113. College Jokes: 2 college friends skip studying for Physics final to party. Two students were taking Physics at the University of Alaska Fairbanks. They did pretty well on all of the other assessments. Going into the final, they had a solid “A.” These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the final was on Monday), they decided to go to the University of Alaska Anchorage and party with some friends at. . They had a great time, however, they overslept all day Sunday and didn’t make it back to campus until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found their professor after the final to explain to him why they missed the final. They told him that they went up to the for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back, and didn’t have a spare, and couldn’t get help for a long time, so they were late in getting back to campus. The professor thought this over and told them they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day for the final. The professor placed them in separate rooms, and handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, which was worth 5 points. It was something simple. “Cool,” they thought. “This is going to be easy.” They did that problem and then turned the page. They were not prepared, however, for what they saw on this page. It said: (95 Points). Which tire?
  114. Why do Alaska love sunrises?… Because it means the world has one more day to see how great Alaska is.
  115. Why is Sarah Palin not a hockey mom?… Because she did a poor job telling her daughters about “keeping players out of the crease!” 
  116. What do you call an Alaskan in a BCS bowl game?… A referee. 
  117. The biology class in Alaska was so lively… it really had a cell-ebration going on!
  118. How many Alaskan Huskies does it take to change a light bulb?… At least 16. They have to go to Nome for the light bulb and they can’t go alone. 
  119. Why do Alaska golfers always carry around two pairs of pants?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
  120. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have 100 Alaska jokes?
  121. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have 101 Alaska jokes?
  122. Why do Alaska golfers always carry around two shirts?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
  123. Why do Alaska golfers always carry around two pairs of socks?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
  124. Why do Alaskans have TGIF on their shoes?… Toes Go In First! 
  125. How do you get a man in Alaskan to do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes..
  126. What are the best four years of an Alaskan’s life?… Third grade.
  127. Elementary School Jokes: Teacher: Where did your mom go to elementary school? Student: Alaska Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself. 
  128. Middle School Jokes: Teacher: Where did your mom go to middle school? Student: Alaska Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself. 
  129. When I was ten, my family moved to Alaska . … When I was thirteen, I found them.
  130. Mississippi Jokes: If Mississippi bought a New Jersey for Alaska, what would Delaware?…. Idaho, Alaska! 
  131. Where do fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Kenai River.
  132. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. Kenai River.
  133. Why don’t hipsters like the Kenai River.?… It’s too mainstream.
  134.  I threw a hipster into the Kenai River… Guess whose mainstream now?
  135. A fully loaded tractor-trailer carrying 80,000 pounds of Tylenol skidded off an icy bridge, and ended up in the mighty Kenai River… It caused river failure.
  136. Covid Jokes: Apparently, someone in gets stabbed every 52 seconds in Alaska .. poor guy.
  137. In the news, Alaska had it’s first remote trial via zoom… It looks like things will be settled out of court.
  138. Did you hear the joke about Alaskan Mountains?… You won’t get over it. 
  139. A man from was arrested in Alaska for stealing a truck filled with $56,000 worth of Campbell’s soup…. I, for one, hope this guy goes away for ‘Mmm, mmm, good!’
  140. Did you know that students in Alaska can drink in high school?… You can’t really stop them after they turn 21. 
  141. Cereal Jokes: Did you guys hear about that girl they found murdered in Juneay?… They found her covered in milk with cheerios still in her mouth… They think it was a cereal killer.
  142. Alaskan Education/Testing scores are the worst in the nation… yep, we’re ranked 53rd.
  143. College Jokes: How many University of Alaska freshman does it take to change a light bulb?… None, it’s a sophomore course.
  144. What did the Bering Sea say to the Alaskan shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
  145. How many men from Alaska do you need before you can make change for a dollar?… You can’t. Nobody in Alaska has any cents.
  146. How do you get a man from Alaska in to do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes.
  147. Did you hear that sports teams from Alaska don’t have a website?… They can’t string three “Ws” together.
  148. Why can’t Alaskan mountains play hide and seek?… Because they like to peak.
  149. Music Jokes: A woman from Alaskan who fell in love with the DJ from her first wedding day has married him five years later… she originally asked him three years ago, but he said he wasn’t taking requests just then.
  150. Why won’t any of Alaska’s bicycles stand up by themselves?… They are two tired.
  151. Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Alaska library?… Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
  152. Divorce Jokes: Divorced couples in Alaska are having trouble deciding who gets the Marijuana… The judges have started issuing joint custody.
  153. What do you call a dishonest cat at the Zoo?… Lion.
  154. Alaska state motto “Thank God for Mississippi.”
  155. What do you call an Alaskan football player with a championship ring?… A Thief.
  156. How do you get a University of Alaska graduate off your porch?… Pay for the pizza.
  157. What’s the most popular pick up line in Alaska ?… Nice tooth! 
  158. Nobody in Alaska dates during the winter… hard to break the ice.
  159. Why did the snowman refuse to leave Alaska?… Because he loved the cool vibes.
  160. What do you call an Eskimo’s dog?… A pup-sicle. 
  161. Why do Alaskan bears never get lost?… Because they always follow the bear-ings.

 

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