101 Kentucky Derby Jokes

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• May 3rd, 2025 Kentucky Derby Jokes
• May 17th, 2025 Preakness Stakes Jokes
• June 7th, 2025 Belmont Stakes Jokes

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1. Kentucky Derby Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Kentucky Derby jokes.
2. The Kentucky Derby is very romantic. The horse hugs the rail, the jockey puts his arms around the horse, and you kiss your money goodbye.
3. Pope Jokes: What is the Pope’s favorite Triple Crown race?… The Kentucky Derby. It is at CHURCH – hill downs.
4. Kentucky Derby Pun: “Mint to be here.”
5. Why the long face?… It’s Derby Day!
6. What kind of bread does a Kentucky Derby horse eat?… Thoroughbred.
7. Hat Jokes: “Hats off to Derby Day!”
8. Kentucky Derby Pun: Unbridled joy today. It’s the Kentucky Derby.
9. Are you watching the Kentucky Derby?… Yay or neigh?
10. Ice Cream Jokes: What do you call a horse that can’t lose the Kentucky Derby?… Sherbet.
11. April Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, Knock… Who’s there?… Derby… Derby who?… Derby a lot of people here to watch this horse race.
12. Kentucky Derby Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 1st race in the Triple Crown?… The first race in the Triple Crown is the Kentucky Derby, often called “The Run for the Roses”. It is held annually on the first Saturday in May at Churchill Downs in Louisville, Kentucky. This 1.25-mile race is exclusively for three-year-old Thoroughbreds and is the oldest continuously held sporting event in America.
13. Geometry Jokes: What is a geometry teacher’s favorite part of the Kentucky Derby?… The Winner’s Circle.
14. Marriage Jokes: My wife & I got married on the same day as the Kentucky Derby. I remember it because I was considering betting my life’s savings on this one Filly. … I also considered putting money on the Derby!
15. Vampire Jokes: When do vampires like the Kentucky Derby?… When it’s neck and neck. 
16. Flower Moon Jokes: It makes sense for the Flower Moon to be on the same weekend as the Kentucky Derby… It is the “Run for the Roses.”
17. 2026 Kentucky Derby Jokes: If horse #18 is a scratch… It will be a Kentucky Derby without “Further Ado.”
18. Boston Marathon Jokes: The Kentucky Derby is the “Run for the Roses.” Boston Marathon April 19, 1976 with temperatures approaching 100 degrees… Boston was the “Run for the Hoses.”
19. Hat Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you buy me a hat for the Kentucky Derby?
20. Maine Jokes: Where do Kentucky Derby horses get their hair done?… Maine. 
21. King Jokes: What sporting event does the British Royal Family always follow?… The Triple Crown.
22. 2026 Kentucky Derby Jokes: I would be so happy… if “So Happy” won the 2026 Kentucky Derby.
23. May the 4th Be With You Jokes: Sometimes he Kentucky Derby is on May the Fourth… May the horse be with you.
24. 2026 Kentucky Derby Jokes: Track & Field Jokes: Do you think Usain Bolt could beat Incredibolt in a race?
25. Flower Moon Jokes: It makes sense for the Flower Moon to be on the same day as the Kentucky Derby… It is the “Run for the Roses.”
26. 2026 Kentucky Derby Jokes: Psychology Jokes: Who is a psychologist’s favorite 2026 Kentucky Derby horse?… Pavlovian.
27. 2026 Kentucky Derby Jokes: Shark Jokes: The Atlantic White Shark Conservancy is pulling for Great White to win the 2026 Kentucky Derby.
28. 2026 Kentucky Derby Jokes: Music Jokes: Who is the Beastie Boys favorite 2026 Kentucky Derby horse?… [You Gotta Fight for the] Right to Party. 
29. 2026 Kentucky Derby Jokes: Harry Potter Jokes: Albus Pin is the favorite Kentucky Derby Horse of Albus Dumbledore.
30. 2026 Kentucky Derby Jokes: Teacher Jokes for May: Who is a science teacher’s favorite 2026 Kentucky Derby horse?… Litmus Test.
31. May the 4th Be With You Jokes: What did one horse say to the other before the race?… “May the course be with you.”
32. How does a Kentucky Derby horse greet another horse?…With Southern Horspitality!
33. What do you call a scary Kentucky Derby horse?… A nightmare!
34. What did one horse Kentucky Derby horse say to the other horse?… The pace is familiar but I can’t remember the mane.
35. What did the Kentucky Derby horse say when it fell?… “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”
36. 2026 Kentucky Derby Jokes: Do you think Puma will sponsor “The Puma” if he wins the Kentucky Derby?
37. Fast Food Jokes: What do Kentucky Derby horses eat?… Fast Food.
38. 2026 Kentucky Derby Jokes: World Geography Jokes: Who do many Australians want to win the Kentucky Derby?… Chief Wallabee. 
39. 2026 Kentucky Derby Jokes: Who is an investor’s favorite 2026 Kentucky Derby horse?… Emerging Market.
40. Where do Kentucky Derby horses shop?… Old Neigh-vy!
41. 2026 Kentucky Derby Jokes: If Golden Tempo has a pretty good tempo… he might have a chance of winning the 2026 Kentucky Derby. 
42. 2026 Kentucky Derby Jokes: If Fulleffort gives a full effort… he has a chance of winning the Kentucky Derby. 
43. Are you a Kentucky Derby race horse?… Yay or neigh?
44. How do you make a small fortune in the horse industry?… Start with a large fortune.
45. What do you call a well balanced Kentucky Derby horse?… Stable.
46. Did you know ghosts are big fans of the Kentucky Derby?… Their favorite horse of all-time is is favorite horse of all-time is Track Phantom. (2024)
47. It would have taken Epic Ride a 30-1 long shot to win the Kentucky Derby, an epic ride to win the race. (2024)
48. They call the Kentucky Derby the fastest two minutes in sports… But they clearly haven’t seen me start, then quit, a 5K.
49. 2026 Kentucky Derby Jokes: Jaws Jokes: Great White… the unofficial Kentucky Derby horse of Jaws.
50. 2026 Kentucky Derby Jokes: Raise a corona to Kentucky Derby horse Corona de Oro! 
51. Kentucky Derby Jokes:
52. Marriage Jokes: A bachelor party going to the Kentucky Derby… Ready to stirrup some trouble.
53. What type of a computer does a Kentucky Derby horse like to eat?… A Macintosh.
54. How does a horse greet a Derby fan?… “Hay there!”
55. Hat Jokes: What did the bra say to the Derby hat?… You go on a head while I give these two a lift.
56. Friday the 13th Jokes for May: If the Kentucky Derby ever was the day after Friday the 13th… What a night mare!
57. A horse named “Needle and Thread” is running away with the horse race what did the announcer say?… “I think he’s got this race all sewn up.”
58. What’s the quickest way to mail a little horse?… Use the Pony Express.
59. Teacher Jokes for May: What did the teacher say when the horse walked into her class?… Why the long face?
60. Bartender to the Horse: “Hey.” Horse: “You read my mind!”
61. Kentucky Derby Pun: “Talk Derby to me.”
62. Kentucky Derby Pun: “I’m in it for the mane event.”
63. Neigh-ver forget Derby Day!
64. What street do horses live on?… Mane St.
65. What is a horses favorite state?… Neighbraska.
66. What is a horses favorite song?… Watch Me (Whip / Neigh Neigh)
67. Kentucky Derby Pun: “Too glam to gallop slow.”
68. Kentucky Derby Pun: “Don’t rein on my parade.”
69. Baseball Jokes: Did you know Ricky Henderson of the Oakland Athletics loves the Kentucky Derby?… His favorite horse of all-time is Just Steel.
70. Music Jokes: Did you know Rod Stewart is a big fan of the Kentucky Derby?… His favorite horse of all-time is is favorite horse of all-time is Forever Young.
71. Kentucky Derby Pun: “I’m in it for the mane event”
72. Doctor Jokes: Where do Kentucky Derby horses go when they’re sick?… The horsepital!
73. Why are most Kentucky Derby horses in shape?… Because they are on a stable diet.
74. How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday?… His horse’s name was Friday!
75. Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude?… She always said Neigh.
76. What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?… A tale of WHOA!
77. What did the momma say to the foal?… Its pasture your bedtime. 
78. I call my son Seabiscuit because all he does is horse around.
79. What did the waiter say to the horse?… I can’t take your order. That’s not my stable.
80. Bee Jokes: What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee?… Neigh buzz.
81. Winner, winner, mint julep dinner!
82. The winner of the Kentucky Derby has been invited to the White House. The stallion declined, stating: “If I wanted to look at a horse’s ass, I would’ve come in second.”
83. Why did the horse bring a ladder to Churchill Downs?… To get a leg up on the competition.
84. Where do you put 2 horses that just broken up?…In the pasture.
85. What kind of horses go out after dusk?… Nightmares!
86. Why the long face?… It’s Derby Week!
87. What kind of horse likes to be ridden at night?… A nightmare!
88. What do you call a horse that lives next door?… A neigh-bor!
89. Table Tennis Jokes: What is a young Colts favorite sport?… Stable Tennis. 
90. What do you call a noisy horse?… A herd animal.
91. What do you ask a sad horse?… “Why the long face?”
92. What did the mare tell her filly after dinner?… Clear the Stable.
93. What do you call a well-dressed horse?… A fancy-stalli-on.
94. What did the mare say to her foal?… Hey pop, stop stallin!’
95. Labor Day Jokes: Why did the jockey bring a briefcase to the track?… He heard there would be a lot of horse business.
96. What do you call a horse in pajamas?… A night-mare!
97. Marriage Jokes: A bachelorette party going to the Kentucky Derby… Ready to stirrup some trouble.
98. Why did the horse eat with its mouth open?… Because it had bad stable manners!
99. Farming Jokes: How does a cowboy get a stallion to do odd jobs around the farm?… Pay him under the stable.
100. Kentucky Derby Pun: Neighsayers gonna neigh.
101. What is black and white and eats like a horse?… A zebra.
102. What do you call a pony with a sore throat?… A little hoarse