Top 50 Presidents’ Day Jokes

by | Feb 15, 2026 | Dads, Latest News, School Jokes

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My Town Tutors loves a good laugh. Over the years we have acquired many jokes. Hopefully you find them useful and can have some fun with them

  1. February Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Presidents’ Day jokes.
  2. Presidents’ Day is a sad reminder my wallet is filled with pictures of only the first one.
  3. Why do Americans choose just 2 people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
  4. President Jokes: What flavor gum does the President prefer?…. Governmint.
  5. February Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… George Washington… George Washington who?… George Washington who?!! Didn’t you learn anything in history class?!!
  6. President Jokes: Andrew Johnson was the first US leader to ever be impeached… You could say it was unpresidented.
  7. What’s the most popular automobile brand for presidents?… Lincoln.
  8. George Washington Jokes: Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?” Student: “Because he still had the axe in his hand.” 
  9. JFK Quotes: How did you become a hero?… “It was involuntary. They sank my boat.” John F. Kennedy
  10. What does Donald Trump call kayaks?… Fake canoes.
  11. How many presidential aides does it take to change a light bulb?… None. They’re supposed to keep the President in the dark.
  12. George Washington Jokes: If George Washington were alive today, why couldn’t he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac?… Because a dollar doesn’t go as far as it used to!
  13. Music Jokes: Which rock group has four men who don’t sing?… Mount Rushmore.
  14. “My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now when people wave at me, they use all their fingers.” President Jimmy Carter
  15. Tree Jokes: Which former president planted the most trees?… Wood-row Wilson!
  16. Book Jokes: Great American Political Book Never Written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks.
  17. Tea Jokes: What kind of tea did the George Washington thirst for?… Libertea!
  18. George Washington Jokes: How did George Washington describe things?… In general terms.
  19. George Washington Jokes: What would George Washington be if he were alive today?… Really, really, really old.
  20. George Washington Jokes: Who was the funniest person in George Washington’s army?… Laughayette.
  21. Who was the youngest US president?… BABE Lincoln.
  22. Dentist Jokes: What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?… Presidentures!
  23. George Washington Jokes: What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cow food?… The fodder of our country!
  24. Nebraska Jokes: What do you call a Nebraskan who hates Democratic Presidents?… A CORNservative.
  25. Christmas Tree Jokes: Which former president planted the most Christmas trees?… Wood-row Wilson!
  26. College Football Jokes: “An atheist is a guy who watches a Notre Dame – SMU football game and doesn’t care who wins.” Dwight Eisenhower
  27. Civil War Jokes: Why aren’t there many Civil War jokes?… People General Lee don’t find them funny…
  28. Civil War Jokes: Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed!
  29. Maine Jokes: Do you know why they buried George H. W. In Houston instead of his beloved Kennebunkport?… Because it’s way too cold for planting Bushes in Maine.
  30. Civil War Jokes: Teacher: “Do you know Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?” Student: “No. I thought he lived in Washington!”
  31. Why did Barack Obama bulldoze the Rose Garden?… He didn’t want any Bushes at the White House.
  32. Civil War Jokes: Knock, knock…. Who’s there?… Abraham Lincoln… Abraham Lincoln who?… Seriously?… You must have done terrible in history class…
  33. Civil War Jokes: Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone?…They’re both on the (s)cent!
  34. Election Jokes: EVICTED FAMILY NEEDS HELP MOVING! MUST BE OUT BY JANUARY 20th! Please send any unneeded moving supplies to: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW Washington, DC 20500.
  35. February Jokes: I love February brcasue it contains 2 of my favorite annual events Groundhog Day, and the State Of The Union Address. 1 involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a groundhog.
  36. Constitution Jokes:How was George Washington able to be so healthy?… He had a strong constitution.
  37. Which US president was able to clean up government wrongdoing?… WASHington.
  38. Napping Jokes: Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?…. Because he couldn’t lie.
  39. Have you seen the picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved… It’s completely unprecedented.
  40. Tree Jokes: Why didn’t George Washington’s father yell at him for chopping down the cherry tree?… Because George was still holding the axe…
  41. What’s the difference between a platypus and George Washington?… One has a bill on his face, the other has his face on a bill.
  42. What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?… They were all born on holidays.
  43. What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?… George Washingtoon! 
  44. Police Jokes: Why did George Washington have the soldier arrested?… For committing Valley Forgery.  
  45. Mardi Gras Jokes: What do you call a Presidents Day parade with a Mardi Gras theme?… A krewe-sade of presidential masks!
  46. February Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Presidents’ Day?
  47. February Knock Knock Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Presidents’ Day knock-knock joke?
  48. Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone?…They’re both on the (s)cent!
  49. Baseball Jokes: What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger?…. Babe Lincoln
  50. What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?… Presidentures!