Hawaii Jokes

by | Aug 21, 2026 | Latest News | 0 comments

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Hawaii was admitted as a state to the union on Hawaii Aug. 21, 1959.

Google Search “Hawaii Jokes”

  1. August Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Hawaii jokes!
  2. Pizza Jokes: I burnt my Hawaiian pizza the other day.. I should have cooked it on aloha temperature.
  3. Thanksgiving Jokes: I couldn’t afford the Thanksgiving trip to Hawaii… I had to put it on “leiaway.”
  4. What’s a short, quiet Hawaiian laugh?… Aloha.
  5. Why didn’t the passengers receive flowers when their plane landed in Hawaii?… Their flight was deleied.
  6. Hiking Jokes: Did you hear the joke about Diamond Head?… You won’t get over it.
  7. California Jokes: Why did Cali phone ya (California)?… She called to say Hawhi ya (Hawaii).
  8. Psychology Jokes: The False Sense of Security: The National Weather Service issues a severe warning, but your brain refuses to take a storm named Lala seriously until your roof flies into the neighbor’s papaya tree.
  9. Hurricane Lala Jokes: Category 4 Hurricane Lala was no joke…. It raised Hell in… Hawaii!
  10. Colorado Jokes: Hawaii is hosting a party for all the states. Hawaii says, “be there or be square!” Unfortunately, Colorado and Wyoming didn’t attend
  11. College Football Jokes: Knock knockout?… Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe name the college football teams that compete in the Dick Tomey Legacy Game?
  12. Boxing Jokes: What do you get when you cross a hula hoop and a boxer?… Hawaiian Punch.
  13. What do you call a Hawaiian with a cold?… A Polysneezin.
  14. Diamond Head is a girl’s best friend.
  15. How many Hawaiians does it take to change a lightbulb?… None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
  16. Did you hear about the Hawaiian geologist who died?… Apparently, she fell head over heels in lava.
  17. Everyone thinks I’m weird because I’m addicted to ham and pineapple sandwiches… But that’s just Hawaii roll.
  18. Hawaii Jokes That’ll Lava You Laughing
  19. Kilauea Erupts with 500-Foot Lava Fountains on Park Anniversary
  20. Over the summer, Hawaii is expected to break the hottest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as 101°F… NOT cool.
  21. On January 13, 2018, everyone in Hawaii was mad about the malfunction of the early warning system, the fools… Hawaii IS the early warning system…
  22. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Hawaii… Hawaii who?… I’m fine, how are you?
  23. What’s the scariest day on the Hawaiian calendar?…Hula-ween.
  24. How did the Hawaiian hipster die?… He walked on lava before it was cool.
  25. Where does a Hawaiian fish keep their #money?… In the riverbanks of the Hanalei River.
  26. Why won’t any of Hawaii’s bicycles stand up by themselves?… They are two tired.
  27. What is the Hawaii volcano always trying to get rid of?… It’s lava handles.
  28. Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Hawaii Resident: “No, not yet.”
  29. Here today, gone to Maui.
  30. I have the heart of a lion… And a lifetime ban from the Honolulu Zoo.
  31. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Hawaii Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.”
  32. Hawaii Pun: Keep palm and carry on.
  33. Why should you never buy golf equipment made in Hawaii?… Because Hawaii drivers are terrible. 
  34. In what state does the Wailuku River flow?… Liquid.
  35. Hawaii Pun: I can’t wait to Maui you.
  36. A Ph.D. student, a post-doc, & a prof are walking & they find a lamp and 7rub it. A genie comes out &  says, “I grant 3 wishes, so I’ll give each of you 1.” #PhD student. “I want to be in the Bahamas, on a speedboat with a gorgeous topless.” Poof! The post-doc. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other.” Poof! He’s gone. “You’re next,” the genie says to the professor. The professor says, “I want those guys back in the lab after lunch.”
  37. What do you call a Hawaiian murder #mystery?… A Hula-Dunnit.
  38. What do cows wear in Hawaii?… Moo Moo’s. 
  39. Speaking of driving… Hawaii roads are adventurous because no one knows how to drive. 
  40. Why did the HSTA teacher jump into the Pacific ocean?… She wanted to test the water!
  41. What do you call a dishonest cat at the Honolulu Zoo?… Lion.
  42. What did Lake Waiau say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved.
  43. Why is “The Wave” banned in #Aloha Stadium?… Two Rainbow Warriors fans drowned last year!
  44. Where do Hawaii elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey?
  45. What do you get if you cross an #apple and a Christmas tree?… Pineapple.
  46. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: Hawaii. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in Hawaii!
  47. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Hawaii Turnpike!
  48. What is the tallest building in?… Hawaii State Public Library of course, it has the most stories!
  49. Can you name the capital of Hawaii?… “H”
  50. My geometry teacher went to Hawaii for Thanksgiving Break. When he came back, he was a tan gent.
  51. I knew I guy from Hawaii who had a weird laugh. Some describe it as a cackle, but I always thought it was more of a low ha.
  52. What did Godzilla say after he devoured Hawaii?… “I WANT #SAMOA!”
  53. How exactly to you get from #California to Hawaii?… By crossing the specific ocean.
  54. Where in Hawaii do you want to go?… Can you be more Pacific?
  55. Hawaii Pun: You had me at Aloha.
  56. Hawaii Pun: Waikiki, do you love me? 
  57. Hawaii Pun: Hawaii Oahu doin’? 
  58. Hawaii Pun: Aloha, is it me you’re looking for?
  59. Hawaii Pun: Hawaii Hana nice day!
  60. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Wailuku River!
  61. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Wailua River!
  62. Where do Hawaii middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey!
  63. How do the zebras at the Honolulu Zoo play baseball?… Three stripes and you’re out! (Baseball Jokes)
  64. What is a Hawaii mountain’s favorite type of candy?… Snow caps. (Hiking Jokes & Candy Jokes)
  65. Over the winter, Hawaii is expected to break the coldest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as 11°F… NOT cool.. FREEZING. (Winter Jokes)
  66. Why is a Wailua River rich? …. Because it has two banks.
  67. Hawaii is hosting a party for all the states. Hawaii says, “be there or be square!” Unfortunately, Colorado and Wyoming didn’t attend. (Hawaii Jokes & Colorado Jokes)
  68. What did Hawaii see?… The same thing Arkansas. (Top 50 State Jokes)
  69. In the news, Hawaii had it’s first remote trial via zoom… It looks like things will be settled out of court. (Lawyer Jokes)
  70. A Hawaii man was arrested for stealing a truck filled with $56,000 worth of Campbell’s soup…. I, for one, hope this guy goes away for ‘Mmm, mmm, good!’
  71. Why can’t Diamond Head and Haleakala play hide and seek?… Because they like to peak. (Ghost Jokes)
  72. How many Hawaii men do you need before you can make change for a dollar?… You can’t. Nobody in Florida has any cents.
  73. Did you guys hear about that girl they found murdered in Hawaii?… They found her covered in milk with cheerios still in her mouth… They think it was a cereal killer. (Cereal Jokes)
  74. What is a Hawaii cloud’s favorite drink?… Mountain Dew. (Hiking Jokes & Skiing Jokes)
  75. A retired Hawaii man was jailed for refusing to nap… …he was resisting a rest. (Napping Jokes)
  76. What does the average Hawaii high school student get on his SAT?… Drool. (College Jokes)
  77. Why do Hawaii students have TGIF on their shoes?… Toes Go In First!
  78. No, really. I’ve been holding my breath for someone in Hawaii to use their turn signal and I haven’t breathed since 2005. (Car Jokes)
  79. Hawaii: America hates us because America ain’t us.
  80. Hawaii: We’re not sure who is dumber – the politicians or the voters. (Election Jokes)
  81. How do you get a man in Hawaiian to do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes.
  82. Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in Hawaii.
  83. How many University of Hawaii freshman does it take to change a light bulb?… None, it’s a sophomore course.
  84. Hawaii: If You Don’t Surf, Don’t Bother! 
  85. ew Mexico, and Utah border… He had to have four coroners. (Cemetery Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each State)
  86. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Hawaii Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  87. No, really. I’ve been holding my breath for someone in Colorado to use their turn signal… I haven’t breathed since 2005. (Car Jokes)
  88. Divorced couples in Hawaii are having trouble deciding who gets the Marijuana… The judges have started issuing joint custody. (Divorce Jokes)
  89. What do you call the 2014 event between two cities that legalized marijuana?… The Super Bowl.
  90. Yes, marijuana is legal in Hawaii… now leaf the jokes alone.
  91. Hey @PapaJohns! I am absolutely livid. I bought a #Hawaiian #pizza for lunch and I’ve just burned it… Should’ve cooked it on #aloha temperature. #Hawaii
  92. Hey @StarWarsinClass! How do Hawaiians greet Admiral Ackbar?… #Aloha Ackbar! #Hawaii #geology #StarWars #M
  93. Did you hear the rumor about #Kilauea and #MaunaLoa?… All they do is make #lava. #Hawaii
  94. Why do #Honolulu Community College students have such beautiful noses?… They’re hand picked. #Hawaii
  95. Why did the Rainbow Warriors regents decide to cover Aloha Stadium in cardboard?… Because the #Rainbow Warriors always look better on paper. #Hawaii
  96. Why do Hawaii students have TGIF on their shoes?… Toes Go In First! #Hawaii
  97. Why did #Kilauea volcano destroy homes in #Pahoa?… Lava is blind. #Hawaii #volcanoes
  98. What do you call an obese #pineapple?… A pineapple chunk! #Hawaii
  99. Where do #Hawaii #highschool #sports teams buy their uniforms?… #NewJersey? #NJ
  100. Hey @TDBank_US! Where do a #fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the #Kolekole Stream. #fishing #Hawaii
  101. Can you name the capital of #Hawaii?… “H” #spelling
  102. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The #Anahulu River! #fishing #Hawaii
  103. Why did the Hawaiian teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! #fishing #Hawaii #teaching #teachers
  104. Hey @HIDOE808 @HSTAvoice @808TFellows! Why did the #Hawaiian teacher jump into the lake?… She wanted to test the water! #Hawaii #teaching
  105. Hey @UHMLawSchool! What do you buy a friend graduating from University of Hawaii Law School?… A lobotomy. #Hawaii #lawyers
  106. What do you call an Hawaiian football player with a championship ring?… A thief! #Hawaii
  107. Mauna Loa hasn’t erupted in over 30 years, but I’ve been told “Lava will find a way.” #Hawaii #volcanoes
  108. My favorite part of #winter is watching it on TV from Hawaii. #Hawaii
  109. What do #cows wear to #summercamp in #Hawaii?… Moo Moo’s. 
  110. If a plane crashed on the border of Hawaii and the Pacific Ocean where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! #Hawaii
  111. What do two Hawaiian volcanoes like to do?… Make lava. #Hawaii
  112. After a long hard day my wife asked to cook her an Hawaiian #pizza! She wasn’t to happy to see I’d burnt her dinner, after all I should’ve cooked it on aloha temperature! #Hawaii #marriage
  113. Why can’t Admiral Ackbar fly to Hawaii?… “Aloha Ackbar” doesn’t go over well at the airport.  #Hawaii #StarWars
  114. What’s a very, very quite laugh in Hawaii?… A low ha. #Hawaii
  115. What kind of cigarettes do Hawaiians smoke?… Mahalo bro lights. #Hawaii
  116. Why can’t Admiral Ackbar fly to Hawaii?… “Aloha Ackbar” doesn’t go over well at the airport. #Hawaii #StarWars
  117. What’s a very, very quite #laugh in #Hawaii?… A low ha. 
  118. A tourist in Hawaii is amazed at how healthy and invigorated he feels after just a few days into visiting the islands… He strikes up a conversation with a local while they are wading out into the crystal clear, warm surf on yet another perfect island day. “I just can’t get over how beautiful this place is,” the tourist says excitedly, “I feel great! I haven’t felt this young and healthy in years! Island life is fantastic!” The local says, “I know what you mean! Take me for instance. When I came here I was totally bald, didn’t have any teeth and I couldn’t even walk…and look at me now!” The tourist looks at him and says, “Wow, that’s amazing! How long have you been here?” The local says, “Oh, I was born here.” 
  119. Steve is in his car driving on the highway by the ocean in California when he stops and asks God for just 1 wish for being a super faithful and good human being. God instantly appears and tells Steve that he has earned right for one wish. Steve says, “I wish for a bridge from here to Hawaii so that I can drive there and have a great time.” God replies, “Ehhhh! Your wish is too materialistic! I would have to get the concrete, carefully think about the design, along with pipes and suspensions for balance and aesthetics. It would be quite a bit to handle on my part! Wish something else and I will grant it.” Greg thinks for a moment and then says, “Hmmm… Okay, I wish to be able to read women’s minds. I want to know exactly what they’re thinking at all times, what they mean when they say ‘nothing’. Basically, I want to understand women inside out.” God says, “So do you want 2 lanes or 4 lanes on that bridge?” 
  120. What kind of cigarettes do Hawaiians smoke?… Mahalo bro lights.
  121. Hey @MooSnuckel!  What do #cows wear to #summercamp in #Hawaii?… #Moo Moo’s. 
  122. After a long hard day my wife asked to cook her an Hawaiian #pizza! She wasn’t to happy to see i’d burnt her dinner, after all I should’ve cooked it on aloha temperature! #Hawaii
  123. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Hawaii? Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Hawaii knock-knock joke? Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Hawaii knock knock jokes?
  124. Hurricane Lala Jokes: What’s an island resident’s favorite emergency prep gear?… A Honda generator, an extension cord, and absolute skepticism.
  125. Hurricane Lala Jokes: Hurricane Lala will be hitting…. There will be heavy down pour of jokes.
  126. Hurricane Lala Jokes: What did  Hurricane Lala say to the Hawaii coast?… I have my eye on you.
  127. Hurricane Lala Jokes: Hurricane Lala is no joke… prepare NOW.
  128. Grandparent Jokes: The Grandkids’ Confusion: “Grandma, why is everyone on the news screaming your name and boarding up the windows?”
  129. Christmas Jokes: “Deck the Halls”… the unofficial Christmas song of Hurricane Lala.
  130. Hurricane Lala Jokes: The Name Game: How do you know Hurricane Lala isn’t taking herself seriously?… She arrives sounding like a Teletubby instead of a category-four disaster.
  131. The Teletubby Threat: People joked that instead of high winds and storm surges, the hurricane was just going to show up on the islands and yell “Eh-oh!”
  132. Hurricane Lala Jokes: The Intimidation Factor: Getting your house flattened by Hurricane Andrew is tragic. Getting your patio chair knocked over by Hurricane Lala is just embarrassing at the community BBQ.
  133. Hurricane Lala Jokes: Laa-Laa (yellow)… the unofficial Teletubby of Hurricane Lala.
  134. Spiderman Jokes: I invited Spider Man to my Hurricane Lala Party… He said he would swing by for a bit!
  135. Ice Cream Jokes: Why is Lala the worst name for a hurricane?… It sounds like a sound a toddler makes on the way to an ice cream truck.
  136. Hurricane Lala Jokes: The Costco Rush: Everyone running out to buy toilet paper and water because Lala is coming over uninvited like that one relative who doesn’t RSVP
  137. Hawaii Jokes:
  138. Hurricane Lala Jokes: The Island Face-off: What did Hurricane Lala say to the Hawaiian volcano?… “You blow, but I’m way windier.”
  139. Hurricane Lala Jokes: The Name Identity Crisis: Lala is the only hurricane where you expect it to show up wearing pastel pink, humming a little tune, and asking if anyone wants to swing by the ice cream truck.
  140. Music Jokes: The Sound Track: What’s the official meteorological sound track of this storm?… Just 40 miles per hour of wind softly going “la-la-la-la-la” while your trash can rolls down the street.
  141. Hurricane Lala Jokes: The Travel Agent: “How come no one told me? I had to find out on the news! Lala is officially open for bookings… straight from L.A.”
  142. Teacher Jokes for August: The Weather Report: Reporting live from the backyard where the palm trees are completely still… locals confirm the most dangerous part of Lala so far is the extreme humidity and lack of school.
  143. Hurricane Lala Jokes: The Yard Sale: My backyard isn’t destroyed, it’s just hosting an unpermitted neighborhood yard sale courtesy of Lala.
  144. Hurricane Lala Jokes: Hurricanes with Teletubby Names?
  145. Hurricane Lala Jokes: The Laundry Line Warning: All you aunties and uncles leaving your pooka panties and aloha shirts hanging on the clothesline… take ’em down before they end up fully styled on your neighbor’s roof.
  146. Hurricane Lala Jokes: The Weather Forecast: Guy Hagi was right again, so you better go grab the Heinekens, the sashimi, and cross your fingers the Kool-Aid doesn’t spill.
  147. Hurricane Lala Jokes: The Speed Upgrade: How fast did Lala intensify?… She upgraded faster than a lifted Tacoma racing through Lex Brody’s tire shop.
  148. Hurricane Lala Jokes: The Ultimate Verdict: What’s the official local consensus on the storm’s name?… Guy Hagi was right, but naming a cyclone “Lala” is just Mother Nature playing a prank on our weekend plans.
  149. Hurricane Lala Jokes: Why did Hurricane Lala walk in circles off the coast?… It was looking for the nearest Costco to join the toilet paper line.
  150. Music Jokes: What do you call a storm that sounds like a lullaby?… A category one wakeup call.
  151. Hurricane Lala Jokes: I’m trying to write a joke about a  Hurricane Lala… But at the moment it is just a draft. 
  152. Hurricane Lala Jokes: The Local Forecast: Guy Hagi warned us, but nobody expected a Category 4 system to roll up looking like it brought Heineken and sashimi to the pau hana.
  153. Hurricane Lala Jokes: I told a  Hurricane Lala joke… I was expecting a surge of laughter.
  154. Walking Jokes: How fast does Hurricane Lala move compared to a cheetah?… A cheetah runs 75 mph, meaning Lala is just taking a scenic island stroll.
  155. Hurricane Lala Jokes: I told a  Hurricane Lala joke… I was expecting a wave of laughter.
  156. California Jokes: Hurricane Lala… the unofficial hurricane of Los Angeles Summer Olympics.
  157. Hurricane Lala Jokes: I saw a comedy show… I was swept away by the comedian’s Hurricane Lala joke.
  158. Hawaii Jokes: What’s an island resident’s favorite emergency prep gear?… A Honda generator, an extension cord, and absolute skepticism.
  159. Hurricane Lala Jokes: Hurricane Lala was no joke… but everything else on this page is.
  160. Hawaii Jokes: Category 4 Hurricane Lala was no joke…. It raised Hell in… Hawaii!
  161. College Football Jokes: What college football team is the unofficial sponsor of  Hurricane Lala?… The UCLA Bruins.
  162. Hockey Jokes: What NHL team is the unofficial sponsor of  Hurricane Lala?… The Carolina Hurricanes.
  163. Hurricane Lala Jokes: Be safe!…  Hurricane Lala might be a Cat 4… A good chance it will raise Hell!
  164. Hurricane Lala Jokes: I want to make a joke about  Hurricane Lala… But I am scared my inbox will be flooded.
  165. Hurricane Lala Jokes: What was the #1 Clash song during  Hurricane Lala?… “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”
  166. Hurricane Lala Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes Hurricane Lala jokes.
  167. Hurricane Lala Jokes: You can’t trust  Hurricane Lala… It is known to blow things out of proportion.
  168. Hurricane Lala Jokes: How does  Hurricane Lala see?… With one eye.
  169. Hurricane Lala Jokes: What is the most popular Jimmy Buffett song during a hurricane?… Trying to Reason with the Hurricane Season.
  170. When is the Last Day of School? Knock knock?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me when is the last day of school in Honolulu, Hawaii?… The 1st day of school in Honolulu, Hawaii is
  171. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the state motto for ?
  172. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the nickname for ?
  173. Hurricane Lala Jokes: What is the #1 requested song during  Hurricane Lala?… Gimme Shelter by the Rolling Stones. 
  174. Teacher Jokes for August: Why did the teacher rush to the  Hurricane Lala flood zone?… To test the water.
  175. Hurricane Lala Jokes: I asked my surfer friend if he plans to evacuate for  Hurricane Lala… He said, “Na-ama-ste.”
  176. Hurricane Lala Jokes: Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust of wind over 74 MPH could be the start of Hurricane Lala!
  177. Hurricane Lala Jokes: I’m trying to write a blog about  Hurricane Lala… But at the moment it is just a draft.
  178. Hurricane Lala Jokes: Why did the  Hurricane Lalago to therapy?… It had too much internal pressure.
  179. Hurricane Lala Jokes: Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you tell me the best hurricane evacuation route for  Hurricane Lala?
  180. Hurricane Lala Jokes: Why did the  Hurricane Lala apologize?… It had a whirlwind of regrets.
  181. Hurricane Lala Jokes: Hurricane Lala is very… depressing.
  182. Hurricane Lala Jokes: Hurricane Lala just blew the roof off my cheese factory… There’s de Brie everywhere.
  183. Halloween Jokes: This Halloween in Hawaii I heard a lot of people are going to be the Scorpions this Halloween…. Because we got rocked like a hurricane.
  184. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the definition of a hurricane?
  185. Hurricane Lala Jokes: Hurricane Lala walks into a bar… The owner doesn’t have insurance so his life is pretty much ruined.
  186. Did you hear about the dock that collapsed during the  Hurricane Lala?… It experienced pier pressure.
  187. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you make sure we all take care of our 4-legged friends before the hurricane hits?
  188. Mardi Gras Pun: This drink will rock you like a hurricane!
  189. Where does a turtle go when during a  Hurricane Lala?… A shell-ter.
  190. Have you heard about the street performer who did his act in the middle of a  Hurricane Lala?… It was mime-blowing.
  191. I asked the  Hurricane Lala for a joke… but it just blew me away.
  192. What do you get if you a cross a card game with a  Hurricane Lala?… Bridge over troubled water.
  193. Katy Perry sang that after a hurricane comes a rainbow, but you know what else comes after a hurricane?… A moron in a suit.
  194. I tried to catch some fog during  Hurricane Lala… but I mist.
  195. What was Governor Ron DeSantis advice to some Florida residents during  Hurricane Lala?… Tampa Pray.
  196. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good  Hurricane Lala knock knock jokes?
  197. Have you heard about the  Hurricane Lala party?… It’s going to be in tents.
  198. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you help me bag sand to prepare  Hurricane Lala?
  199. Hurricane Lala tore off a quarter of my roof… Now all I have is a Roo.

 

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