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Google Search “101 Hawaii Jokes”

  1. August Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Hawaii jokes!
  2. What’s a short, quiet Hawaiian laugh?… Aloha.
  3. Pizza Jokes: I burnt my Hawaiian pizza the other day.. I should have cooked it on aloha temperature.
  4. Thanksgiving Jokes: I couldn’t afford the Thanksgiving trip to Hawaii… I had to put it on “leiaway.”
  5. Why didn’t the passengers receive flowers when their plane landed in Hawaii?… Their flight was deleied.
  6. Hiking Jokes: Did you hear the joke about Diamond Head?… You won’t get over it.
  7. California Jokes: Why did Cali phone ya (California)?… She called to say Hawhi ya (Hawaii).
  8. Psychology JokesThe False Sense of Security: The National Weather Service issues a severe warning, but your brain refuses to take a storm named Lala seriously until your roof flies into the neighbor’s papaya tree.
  9. Hurricane Lala Jokes: Category 4 Hurricane Lala was no joke…. It raised Hell in… Hawaii!
  10. Colorado Jokes: Hawaii is hosting a party for all the states. Hawaii says, “be there or be square!” Unfortunately, Colorado and Wyoming didn’t attend
  11. College Football Jokes: Knock knockout?… Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe name the college football teams that compete in the Dick Tomey Legacy Game?
  12. Boxing Jokes: What do you get when you cross a hula hoop and a boxer?… Hawaiian Punch.
  13. What do you call a Hawaiian with a cold?… A Polysneezin.
  14. Diamond Head is a girl’s best friend.
  15. How many Hawaiians does it take to change a lightbulb?… None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
  16. Did you hear about the Hawaiian geologist who died?… Apparently, she fell head over heels in lava.
  17. Everyone thinks I’m weird because I’m addicted to ham and pineapple sandwiches… But that’s just Hawaii roll.
  18. Hawaii Jokes That’ll Lava You Laughing
  19. Kilauea Erupts with 500-Foot Lava Fountains on Park Anniversary
  20. Over the summer, Hawaii is expected to break the hottest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as 101°F… NOT cool.
  21. On January 13, 2018, everyone in Hawaii was mad about the malfunction of the early warning system, the fools… Hawaii IS the early warning system…
  22. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Hawaii… Hawaii who?… I’m fine, how are you?
  23. What’s the scariest day on the Hawaiian calendar?…Hula-ween.
  24. How did the Hawaiian hipster die?… He walked on lava before it was cool.
  25. Where does a Hawaiian fish keep their #money?… In the riverbanks of the Hanalei River.
  26. Why won’t any of Hawaii’s bicycles stand up by themselves?… They are two tired.
  27. What is the Hawaii volcano always trying to get rid of?… It’s lava handles.
  28. Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Hawaii Resident: “No, not yet.”
  29. Here today, gone to Maui.
  30. I have the heart of a lion… And a lifetime ban from the Honolulu Zoo.
  31. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Hawaii Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.”
  32. Hawaii Pun: Keep palm and carry on.
  33. Why should you never buy golf equipment made in Hawaii?… Because Hawaii drivers are terrible. 
  34. In what state does the Wailuku River flow?… Liquid.
  35. Hawaii Pun: I can’t wait to Maui you.
  36. A Ph.D. student, a post-doc, & a prof are walking & they find a lamp and 7rub it. A genie comes out &  says, “I grant 3 wishes, so I’ll give each of you 1.” #PhD student. “I want to be in the Bahamas, on a speedboat with a gorgeous topless.” Poof! The post-doc. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other.” Poof! He’s gone. “You’re next,” the genie says to the professor. The professor says, “I want those guys back in the lab after lunch.”
  37. What do you call a Hawaiian murder #mystery?… A Hula-Dunnit.
  38. What do cows wear in Hawaii?… Moo Moo’s. 
  39. Speaking of driving… Hawaii roads are adventurous because no one knows how to drive. 
  40. Why did the HSTA teacher jump into the Pacific ocean?… She wanted to test the water!
  41. What do you call a dishonest cat at the Honolulu Zoo?… Lion.
  42. What did Lake Waiau say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved.
  43. Why is “The Wave” banned in #Aloha Stadium?… Two Rainbow Warriors fans drowned last year!
  44. Where do Hawaii elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey?
  45. What do you get if you cross an #apple and a Christmas tree?… Pineapple.
  46. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: Hawaii. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in Hawaii!
  47. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Hawaii Turnpike!
  48. What is the tallest building in?… Hawaii State Public Library of course, it has the most stories!
  49. Can you name the capital of Hawaii?… “H”
  50. My geometry teacher went to Hawaii for Thanksgiving Break. When he came back, he was a tan gent.
  51. I knew I guy from Hawaii who had a weird laugh. Some describe it as a cackle, but I always thought it was more of a low ha.
  52. What did Godzilla say after he devoured Hawaii?… “I WANT #SAMOA!”
  53. How exactly to you get from #California to Hawaii?… By crossing the specific ocean.
  54. Where in Hawaii do you want to go?… Can you be more Pacific?
  55. Hawaii Pun: You had me at Aloha.
  56. Hawaii Pun: Waikiki, do you love me? 
  57. Hawaii Pun: Hawaii Oahu doin’? 
  58. Hawaii Pun: Aloha, is it me you’re looking for?
  59. Hawaii Pun: Hawaii Hana nice day!
  60. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Wailuku River!
  61. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Wailua River!
  62. Where do Hawaii middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey!
  63. How do the zebras at the Honolulu Zoo play baseball?… Three stripes and you’re out! (Baseball Jokes)
  64. What is a Hawaii mountain’s favorite type of candy?… Snow caps. (Hiking Jokes Candy Jokes)
  65. Over the winter, Hawaii is expected to break the coldest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as 11°F… NOT cool.. FREEZING. (Winter Jokes)
  66. Why is a Wailua River rich? …. Because it has two banks.
  67. Hawaii is hosting a party for all the states. Hawaii says, “be there or be square!” Unfortunately, Colorado and Wyoming didn’t attend. (Hawaii Jokes & Colorado Jokes)
  68. What did Hawaii see?… The same thing Arkansas. (Top 50 State Jokes)
  69. In the news, Hawaii had it’s first remote trial via zoom… It looks like things will be settled out of court. (Lawyer Jokes)
  70. A Hawaii man was arrested for stealing a truck filled with $56,000 worth of Campbell’s soup…. I, for one, hope this guy goes away for ‘Mmm, mmm, good!’
  71. Why can’t Diamond Head and Haleakala play hide and seek?… Because they like to peak. (Ghost Jokes)
  72. How many Hawaii men do you need before you can make change for a dollar?… You can’t. Nobody in Florida has any cents.
  73. Did you guys hear about that girl they found murdered in Hawaii?… They found her covered in milk with cheerios still in her mouth… They think it was a cereal killer. (Cereal Jokes)
  74. What is a Hawaii cloud’s favorite drink?… Mountain Dew. (Hiking Jokes & Skiing Jokes)
  75. A retired Hawaii man was jailed for refusing to nap… …he was resisting a rest. (Napping Jokes)
  76. What does the average Hawaii high school student get on his SAT?… Drool. (College Jokes)
  77. Why do Hawaii students have TGIF on their shoes?… Toes Go In First!
  78. No, really. I’ve been holding my breath for someone in Hawaii to use their turn signal and I haven’t breathed since 2005. (Car Jokes)
  79. Hawaii: America hates us because America ain’t us.
  80. Hawaii: We’re not sure who is dumber – the politicians or the voters. (Election Jokes)
  81. How do you get a man in Hawaiian to do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes.
  82. Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in Hawaii.
  83. How many University of Hawaii freshman does it take to change a light bulb?… None, it’s a sophomore course.
  84. Hawaii: If You Don’t Surf, Don’t Bother! 
  85. ew Mexico, and Utah border… He had to have four coroners. (Cemetery Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each State)
  86. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Hawaii Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  87. No, really. I’ve been holding my breath for someone in Colorado to use their turn signal… I haven’t breathed since 2005. (Car Jokes)
  88. Divorced couples in Hawaii are having trouble deciding who gets the Marijuana… The judges have started issuing joint custody. (Divorce Jokes)
  89. What do you call the 2014 event between two cities that legalized marijuana?… The Super Bowl.
  90. Yes, marijuana is legal in Hawaii… now leaf the jokes alone.
  91. Hey @PapaJohns! I am absolutely livid. I bought a #Hawaiian #pizza for lunch and I’ve just burned it… Should’ve cooked it on #aloha temperature. #Hawaii
  92. Hey @StarWarsinClass! How do Hawaiians greet Admiral Ackbar?… #Aloha Ackbar! #Hawaii #geology #StarWars #M
  93. Did you hear the rumor about #Kilauea and #MaunaLoa?… All they do is make #lava. #Hawaii
  94. Why do #Honolulu Community  College students have such beautiful noses?… They’re hand picked. #Hawaii
  95. Why did the Rainbow Warriors regents decide to cover Aloha Stadium in cardboard?… Because the #Rainbow Warriors always look better on paper. #Hawaii
  96. Why do Hawaii students have TGIF on their shoes?… Toes Go In First! #Hawaii
  97. Why did #Kilauea volcano destroy homes in #Pahoa?… Lava is blind. #Hawaii #volcanoes
  98. What do you call an obese #pineapple?… A pineapple chunk! #Hawaii
  99. Where do #Hawaii #highschool #sports teams buy their uniforms?… #NewJersey? #NJ
  100. Hey @TDBank_US! Where do a #fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the #Kolekole Stream. #fishing #Hawaii
  101. Can you name the capital of #Hawaii?… “H”

More Hawaii Jokes