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Google Search “101 Navy Jokes”
- Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Navy jokes.
- Navy captain: “Change your course, 10 degrees W” Seaman 1st Class: “Change yours 10 degrees E” Navy captain annoyed: “I’m a Navy captain. Change your course.” Seaman 1st Class: “You must change your course, sir.” Navy captain: “I’m an aircraft carrier..” Seaman 1st Class: “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”
- An ensign was standing in line behind a sailor at a vending machine. The ensign asked the sailor if he had change for a dollar. Reaching into his pocket, the sailor replied, “Sure.” The ensign said, “Sailor, don’t you mean yes, sir? Let’s try this again. Do you have change for a dollar?” The sailor replied, “No, sir!”
- Navy jet pilot: This is it! We’re flying faster than the speed of sound! Copilot: What?
- Army Jokes: When I lost my rifle, the army charged me $255.99. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.
- Army Jokes: Army soldiers can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the Navy can fathom it.
- Flag Day Jokes: What is the only question on the entrance exam to the U.S. Navy?… “Oh say, can you sea?”
- Subway… The unofficial restaurant of the US Navy.
- Swimming Jokes: Why do they actually prefer non-swimmers in the Navy?… They defend their ship with a lot more enthusiasm.
- Pirate Jokes: A lot of people assume pirates prefer to be in the Navy… But actually they prefer the arrrrrrrrmy.
- Ocean Jokes: What grades do you need to join the Navy?… 7 C’s.
- Pirate Jokes: 3.14% of Sailors are Pi Rates.
- August Jokes: Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta join the Navy.
- What do you call a Navy Admiral who gambles, smokes, drinks, and does drugs?… A Vice Admiral.
- I wanted to join the Navy… But that ship has sailed… I’ll sea myself out.
- Psychology Jokes: I’m going to join the Navy purely out of spite… I’m longing to become a Petty Officer.
- Ocean Jokes: Why did the Navy ship blush?… Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
- Labor Day Jokes: I thought about joining the Navy to be on a submarine… But I changed my mind, I had a sinking feeling about that career path.
- I heard France is replacing its ageing, deteriorating navy vessels… I guess French ships don’t always last forever
- Labor Day Jokes: A cool job that sounds lame: Building boats for the Navy… You’d be a subcontractor.
- Psychology Jokes: The US Navy will start to equip all their subs with emotional support dogs. After a lot study, they decided on Dachshunds… They will be subma-weiner
- Music Jokes: Commodores… The unofficial band of the Navy.
- Dad Jokes: Dad: You wanna join the Navy? You can’t even swim! Son: No one can fly in the Air Force either.
- The Navy is beginning to recruit blind men… They are sending them out to sea.
- Grandparent Jokes: My grandfather is always saying that in the old days people could leave their back doors open… Which is probably why his submarine sank.
- What is the #1 form of transportation for retired Navy members?… The subway!
- Crayon Jokes: What color are military submarines?… Deep navy.
- What did the sailor say to the other sailor when they had a problem?… We are in the same boat.
- Leap Year Jokes: What does a Navy captain do during a Leap Year?… Jump ship.
- What’s a sailor’s favorite board game?… Battleship.
- Teacher Jokes for July: Why did the sailor go to summer school?… To improve his sea-minus to a sea-plus!
- Movie Jokes: Why was the Navy movie not permitted to be played in theaters?… Due to censor-ship.
- Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Navy?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself!
- What’s the Navy’s favorite exercise?… Planks.
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the highest rank in the Navy?
- Star Wars Jokes: Why is there no Jedi navy?… Sailing is a path to the dockside.
- Movie Jokes: What’s a sailor’s favorite type of movie?… A sea-quel!
- What did the Navy say to the coast guards?… “I’ll SEAL you later”
- Biology Jokes: What did the Barbie factory do when it ran out of belly buttons?… They called the the navel reserve.
- Thanksgiving Jokes: What do you call a group of gravy boats on Thanksgiving?… A Gravy Navy.
- Psychology Jokes: How do you measure a Navy ship’s happiness?… In nauti-cal smiles.
- Ocean Jokes: What’s a Navy cook’s favorite spice?… Sea-soning!
- Movie Jokes: If Harrison Ford’s son were in the Navy, what would be his favorite city?… Indy-Annapolis.
- Crayon Jokes: I’ve never understood the Navy’s color being Navy blue… I thought they were the aqua-marines.
- Swimming Jokes: Navy recruiter: “Do you know how to swim?” Recruit: “Why? Have you run out of ships?”
- Music Jokes: What’s a sailor’s favorite band?… Sub-lime.
- Teacher Jokes for August: Why did the navy ship go to school?… It wanted to learn how to make waves!
- Super Bowl Jokes: Did you hear about the Super Bowl football player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub?
- Black Friday Jokes: Old Neigh-vy… the unofficial story of the Navy.
- Movie Jokes: Why did the sailor favorite movie?… “Sea” biscuit!
- Labor Day Jokes: I became a chef after I left the navy… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran.
- Dog Jokes: Which breed of dog is most common in the Navy?… The aircraft terrier.
- Ice Cream Jokes: Did you know you can’t eat ice cream in the Navy?… Apparently you get arrested for desserting.
- I wanted to join the Navy Seals… But that ship has sailed… I’ll sea myself out.
- Geography Jokes: Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the side of their boats?… So when they come back to port they can… Scandinavian.
- Farming Jokes: Why did the navy sailor start a fruit stand on the ship?… He wanted to sell naval oranges!
- Labor Day Jokes: My mother was scared for me when I joined the Navy. It makes sense, my father was a telegraph operator in the navy and he got lost at C.
- How does a Navy Captain convince his sailors to stop going the bathroom off the back of the boat?… He gives them a stern talking to.
- Labor Day Jokes: I’m about to lose my job in the Navy unless I make some drastic changes… I have to take a course in anchor management.
- Biology Jokes: What is a naval destroyer?… A hula hoop with a nail in it.
- Why do sailors love word puzzles?… They’re good at crosswords—lots of anchors.
- College Football Jokes: What separates the Navy fans from the Army football fans?… the wave.
- My neighbor is obsessed with Navy destroyers… He warships them.
- Why did the sailor join the gym?… To get in shipshape!
- Cape Cod Jokes: Falmouth Commodores… The unofficial baseball team of the Navy.
- What’s a sailor’s favorite type of sandwich?… A Subway sub-marine!
- Geometry Jokes: Why do Navy sailors always carry a compass?… So they don’t get into pointless arguments.
- What’s a Navy ship’s favorite drink?… Port wine!
- What military branch is fond of horses?… The Neigh-vy.
- What do you call a dog who joins the Navy?… A subwoofer.
- Swimming Jokes: What’s the Navy’s favorite sport?… Dive-ing.
- Whale Jokes: What’s a sailor’s favorite type of humor?… Whale-y bad puns.
- Music Jokes: What’s a sailor’s favorite band?… Sub-lime
- What so you call a snail on a ship?… a Snailer.
- Crayon Jokes: What was the dark blue sea lion mistaken for?… A Navy Seal.
- Dad Jokes: What do you get when you cross a sheep, a warship, and a father?… A fleece navy dad.
- Why did the sailor join the navy?… Because he wanted to see the sea!
- Barber Jokes: Why did the Navy captain go to the barber?… To trim his sails.
- What’s a naval captain’s least favorite door on his ship?…The commode door.
- Fishing Jokes: What’s a sailor’s favorite meal?… Fish and ships.
- Barber Jokes: What do sailors use to style their hair?… Sea spray!
- What’s a Navy captain’s favorite type of joke?… Something knot too complicated.
- Psychology Jokes: What do you call a worried sailor?… A nervous wreck!
- Geography Jokes: Why did the sailor love his new compass?… It gave him direction.
- NFL Football Jokes: The Washington Commanders… The unofficial NFL football team of the Navy.
- College Football Jokes: The Vanderbilt Commodores… The unofficial football team of the Navy.
- College Football Jokes: Who is the favorite mascot of the Navy?… Mr. Commodore of Vanderbilt.
- Music Jokes: What’s a sailor’s least favorite type of music?… Heavy rock.
- Music Jokes: Why did the submarine join the Navy band?… It wanted to master the bass.
- How do sailors keep track of their tasks?.. They use a log!
- Where does the Navy rank amongst the armed forces?… Submarines.
- Where do U.S. Olympic horses shop?… Old Neigh-vy!
- How do sailors communicate underwater?… With a sub text.
- Why don’t naval shipyards have to pay taxes?… Because they are places of warship.
- What’s a captain’s favorite drink?… Anything on the rocks.
- A newly commissioned officer with a cigarette dangling from his lips asked aloud,”anybody got a light?:” An NCO said “I got you covered buddy.” “Buddy?” said the officer. “Don’t you see this bar on my uniform. Let’s try this again. DO YOU HAVE A LIGHT?.” The NCO snapped to attention and replied. “SIR, No Sir.”
- What’s a rubber gasket on an aircraft carrier called?… A navy seal.
- Fishing Jokes: What do Navy sailors call a lazy fish?… slackerel.
- Why did the Navy recruit take a ladder to training?… He wanted to climb the ranks.
- Ocean Jokes: Why do Navy officers love the ocean?… It’s their wave of life.
- I tried out for the Marines but fell just short of their requirements. So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine.
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