Top 300 Military Jokes

by | Nov 6, 2025 | Education, Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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  1. Top 50 Air Force Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Air Force jokes.
  2. Air Force Fact: The only time you can have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.
  3. Air Force pilot: This is it! We’re flying faster than the speed of sound! Copilot: What?
  4. An Airman and a Marine walk into the restroom at the same time. The Airman finishes up and heads out. When the Marine is finished, he washes his hands and then catches up to the Airman. “Hey, buddy. In the Marines, they teach us to wash our hands after we take a leak.” The airman responds, “In the Air Force, they teach us not to pee on our hands.” 
  5. A US Air Force drill instructor stood in front of his new recruits. “Recruit Bains!” He yelled. “Where did you enlist?” “In California, sir,” Bains replied. “There was an Air Force recruiting station next to a Navy recruiting station.” “Then why,” the D.I. asked, “Did you choose the Air Force?” “Because, sir,” Bains answered. “What goes up must come down, but what goes down doesn’t always come back up.”
  6. There’s an Air Force guy driving from Wagga to Richmond, and an Army guy driving from Richmond to Wagga. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Air Force guy manages to climb out of his car and surveys the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says,”Man, I am really lucky to be alive!” Likewise the Army guy scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, “I can’t believe I survived this wreck!” The Army guy walks over to the Air Force guy and says, “Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of archrivals” The Air Force guy thinks for a moment and says, “You know, you’re absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I’m gonna see what else survived this wreck” So the Air Force guy pops open his boot and finds a full, unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Army guy, “I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship” The Army guy replies, “You’re damn right!” and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly half the bottle the Army guy hands it back to the Air Force guy and says, “Your turn!” The Air Force guy twists the cap back on the bottle and says, “Nahh, I think I’ll wait for the cops to show up.”
  7. Did you hear that the Air Force just bought a bunch of copies of The Little Mermaid on DVD? They must be preparing for an Ariel assault.
  8. Which branch of the United States military is the most patriotic?… The Air Force; they’re US AF
  9. On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.
  10. A military function is being held where all officers of the Army, Navy and the Air force are present. The Army and Navy officers were describing the Air force as the Cinderella of the military. To this, the Air force officer replied” I don’t know a lot about Cinderella except the fact that she had two ugly sisters.”
  11. A mother traveled across the country to watch her only son get married and graduate from the air force on the exact same day. “Thank you for coming,” the son said. “It means so much.” “Of course I’d be here,” the mother replied. “It’s not every day a mom watches her son get his wings and have them clipped all in one day.”
  12. The entire Dutch air force was disabled this week… The pilot was sick.
  13. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, “What time is it?” The tower responded, “Who is calling?” The aircraft replied, “What difference does it make?” The tower replied, “It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o’clock. If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it’s Thursday afternoon.”
  14. Dad Jokes: Dad: You wanna join the Navy? You can’t even swim! Son: No one can fly in the Air Force either.
  15. Air Force One now gets a new Code name!… The COVID Express!
  16. My grandfather was in the air force in the Second World War, surviving over 30 combat missions in hostile airspace. He was by far the worst pilot of the entire Kamikaze corps.
  17. The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker among themselves, is that, they don’t speak the same language. For instance, take the simple phrase – Secure the building. The Army would post guards around the place. The Navy would turn out the lights and lock the doors. The Marines would kill everyone inside and set up headquarters. The Air Force would take out a five year lease with an option to buy.
  18. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Air Force?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself!
  19. Why I Joined the Air Force
  20. The DOD was conducting an all service briefing and the leader posed this question. “What would you do if you found a scorpion in your tent?” A sailor said, “I’d step on it.” A soldier said, “I’d squash it with my boot. A marine said, I’d catch it, break the stinger off, and eat it.” An Airman said. “I’d call room service and find out why there’s a tent in my room.”
  21. Barber Jokes: Where do American soldiers go to get a haircut?… They go to the Hair Force!
  22. Looney Tunes Jokes: Where did Bugs Bunny learn to fly?… The hare force.
  23. Deer Jokes: What do you call a deer enlisted in the Air Force?… A bombardeer.
  24. I became a chef after I left the Air Force… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran.
  25. How do you play Air Force Bingo?… “A-10… B-52… F-16!”
  26. Did you know you can’t eat ice cream in the Air Force?… Apparently you get arrested for desserting.
  27. “So, why did you join the air force?” “My doctor said that I have a vitamin deficiency and need more B2 in my life, so, …here I am.”
  28. What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?… Absent without leaf.
  29. How many Air Force pilots does it take to change a light bulb?… One. He just holds it while the world revolves around him.
  30. What do you call a large formation of MAC aircraft?… A Big Mac Attack.
  31. Where do rabbits learn to fly?… The hare force.
  32. Just because there are no complaints, doesn’t all mean parachutes are perfect.
  33. What’s the difference between God and an Air Force pilot?… God doesn’t think he’s a fighter pilot.
  34. What do you call a house with an ice cream sundae on top?… Beats me… “Desserted!”
  35. Why did the airman stuff himself with ice cream?… He was a desserter. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  36. An ice cream, a creme brulee, and a slice of cheesecake joined the Air Force, but they abandoned their fellow airman on their first deployment They are wanted for dessertion. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  37. Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings!
  38. There was a bad accident at the Air Force base… A jeep ran over a bag of popcorn and killed two kernels.
  39. Emergency management: “Always remember that if one engine fails on a dual-engine plane, you’ll still have enough power to safely reach the scene of the crash.”
  40. A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church when the pastor noticed him. “What are you looking at?” asked the clergyman. “All those names. Who are they?” the boy asked. The pastor nodded, and said, “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service.” The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?”
  41. My buddy in the Air Force got injured in the war… He fell off his chair.
  42. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moomorial day. (Cow Jokes)
  43. What do pilots and air traffic controllers have in common?… If pilots screw up, they die. If air traffic controllers screw up, pilots also die.
  44. How do you know when your date with a fighter pilot is halfway over? He says, “Enough about me. Want to hear about my plane?”
  45. How do you know if there’s an Air Force pilot at your party? Oh, don’t worry. He’ll tell you as soon as he walks in.
  46. Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even. (Zombie Jokes)
  47. Air Force airman can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the navy can fathom it.
  48. Why did the Air Force test pilot decide to work for USPS after retiring from the service? Because she still enjoyed pushing the envelope.
  49. What did the Navy say to the airman?… “I’ll SEAL you later.” (Seal Jokes & Coast Guard Jokes)
  50. I became a chef after I left the Air Force. Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. (Labor Day Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes)
  51. Top 50 Army Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Army jokes. 
  52. American Revolution Jokes: What was General Washington’s favorite tree?… The infan-tree.
  53. American Revolution Jokes: Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?… Laughayette.
  54. Why does the military plant trees every year?… to grow the infant tree.
  55. Why didn’t the officer respond when asked how he got his start in the military?… It was private.
  56. What do you call a shipment full of military-issued T. rexes?… Small arms.
  57. What separates the Navy fans from the Army football fans?… The wave.
  58. Tea Jokes: Why did the British army wear red coats?… So they could blend in with their tea stains!
  59. Tea Jokes: The British army loved tea… but they couldn’t handle our revolu-tea-on!
  60. What are the two main rules in the Army?… 1. The commanding officer is always right. 2. If the commanding officer is not right, see #1.
  61. Some soldiers love camouflage uniforms… But I don’t see the appeal.
  62. The Continental Army didn’t need Wi-Fi—they had great connections with France.
  63. Why did George Washington’s troops go to the forest?… To have a tree-mendous victory.
  64. Why did the American soldiers bring their own snacks to battle during the American Revolution?… Because they didn’t want to go “continental” breakfast!
  65. Why was George Washington such a good general?… He never lost his head in battle—literally or figuratively!
  66. A recruiter asks an octopus if he wants to join the Army… The octopus says no thanks I’m army enough as it is.
  67. When I lost my rifle, the army charged me $255.99.. That’s why in the navy, the captain goes down with the ship.
  68. Sergeant: “Private! I didn’t see you at camouflage training today!” Private: “Thank you, Sir!”
  69. A lot of people assume pirates prefer to be in the navy. But actually they prefer the arrrrrrrrmy.
  70. Where does the General put his armies?… In his sleevies!
  71. What are the two main rules in the Army?… 1. The commanding officer is always right. 2. If the commanding officer is not right, see #1.
  72. What did you do before becoming a dentist?… “I was in the #rmy… I was a drill sergeant.”
  73. Army soldiers can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the Navy can fathom it.
  74. What’s the best job for babies in the Army?… The Infantry.
  75. I became a chef after I left the Army… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran.
  76. What month do all army troops hate?… March.
  77. Why was the army sergeant mad when his son brought home a perfect score on his math test?… His son spent more time dividing than conquering.
  78. Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?… He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
  79. What do army guys say if they forget Memorial Day?… Ah, shoot!
  80. What do you call a high-ranking soldier who hates recycling?… General Waste.
  81. What did the Army commander say to his troops?… March 4th!
  82. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Army?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself!
  83. Why do volleyball players want to join the army?… For the chance to gain some experience in the service.
  84. What was the name of the worm army?… The Apple Corps.
  85. Did you hear about the popcorn that joined the army?… They made him a kernel.
  86. How is Tigger like a sergeant in the army?… They both wear stripes.
  87. What do army guys read on Memorial Day?… A magazine.
  88. A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church. Pastor: “What are you looking at?” Boy:  “All those names. Who are they?” “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. Pastor: They are those who died in the service.” Boy: “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?”
  89. Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings!
  90. Soldiers in Heaven: A little boy asked his mother during the Memorial Day Parade: “Mamma, don’t soldiers ever go to heaven?” “Of course they do!” protested his mother. “What makes you ask?” “There are so many soldiers with beards but I never saw any pictures of angels with beards.” he replied The mother responded “Oh, that’s because most vets who go to Heaven get there by a close shave.”
  91. Teacher: “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student: “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole #army!”
  92. Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?… Laughayette!
  93. Did you hear about the#artist in the Continental #Army?… He was a Yankee doodler!
  94. A Great American Book Never Written: “The Parts of the National Anthem” by Homer D. Brave.
  95. My great-grandfather fought with Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the French & my father fought with the Americans…. Your relatives couldn’t get along with anyone, could they?
  96. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Army jokes.
  97. What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?… Absent without leaf.
  98. Where does the King Charles keep his armies?… In his sleevies!
  99. Did you know you can’t eat ice cream in the Air Force?… Apparently you get arrested for desserting. #dessert
  100. What do you call a house with an icecream sundae on top?… Beats me… “Desserted!”
  101. Top 50 Coast Guard Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best CoastGuard jokes.
  102. Pumpkin Jokes: What branch of the military do pumpkins join?… The coast gourd.
  103. Pirate Jokes: A lot of people assume pirates prefer to be in the Coast Guard… But actually they prefer the arrrrrrrrmy.  
  104. Pumpkin Jokes: Which pumpkins can swim the best?… The coast gourd.
  105. Why did the Coast Guard bring a pencil to the party?… To draw some attention!
  106. What’s the Coast Guard’s favorite type of music?… Anything with good “current!”
  107. Why did the Coast Guard take up knitting?… To keep the crew in “stitches!”
  108. How do Coast Guard officers stay calm in emergencies?… They just go with the flow!
  109. Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the dock?… To climb the ranks faster!
  110. What’s a Coast Guard’s favorite lunch?… A sandwich with a side of “sail-slaw!”
  111. Why doesn’t the Coast Guard like telling secrets?… Loose lips sink ships!
  112. How does the Coast Guard throw a party?… They go overboard!
  113. What do you call a Coast Guard recruit who loves comedy?… A deckhand with punchlines!
  114. Why did the ocean wave at the Coast Guard?… It was just being shore-friendly!
  115. Why did the sailor refuse to play cards?… He was afraid of deck stacking!
  116. What’s a Coast Guard’s favorite type of dog?… A sea-bark, of course!
  117. Why did the ship bring a pencil to the ocean?… To draw some waves!
  118. How do Coast Guards stay so calm?… They just go with the buoyancy!
  119. What did the lifebuoy say to the drowning sailor?… “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!”
  120. Why don’t ships ever get lost?… They always follow their compass-ion!
  121. Why did the Coast Guard bring a ladder?… To reach new depths!
  122. What’s a Coast Guard’s favorite workout?… Keeping their ship in tip-top shape!
  123. Why did the Coast Guard boat blush?… It saw the ocean’s bottom!
  124. Why are there no knock knock jokes about the U.S. Coast Guard?… Because freedom rings!
  125. Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings!
  126. What did the Navy say to the CoastGuard?… “I’ll SEAL you later.”
  127. I became a #chef after I left the Coast Guard… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran.
  128. A distress call comes in to Pierre at the Maine Coast Guard: “Mayday! Mayday. We’re 12 miles out on a capsized boat.” “No can do” Pierre said, “We’ve got all we can do searching for regular-sized boats.”
  129. Why couldn’t the Coast Guard save the hippie?… He was too far out man!
  130. What’s the difference between a beach and a tarot deck?… One has coast guards, the other has ghost cards.
  131. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Coast Guard?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself!
  132. The other day I was fishing for compliments… The coast guard told me I was VERY good at violating provincial hunting and fishing laws
  133. A ship radios the German coast guard Ship: Help we are sinking! German coast guard: wot are you sinking about?
  134. A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church when the pastor noticed him. “What are you looking at?” asked the clergyman. “All those names. Who are they?” the boy asked. The pastor nodded, and said, “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service.” The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?”
  135. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moomorial day.
  136. Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even. (Zombie Jokes)
  137. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… #August Who?… A gusta join the Coast Guard.
  138. Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard jet pilot: This is it! We’re flying faster than the speed of sound! Copilot: What?
  139. Army Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard soldiers can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the navy can fathom it.
  140. What did the Navy say to the Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard?… “I’ll SEAL you later.”
  141. I became a chef after I left the Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard.. Some would say I am a seasoned veteran.
  142. The navy / Coast Guard is beginning to recruit blind men… They are sending them out to sea.
  143. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself!
  144. A cool job that sounds lame: Building boats for the navy /Coast gaurd… You’d be a subcontractor. (Labor Day Jokes)
  145. Dad: You wanna join the navy? You can’t even swim! Son: no one can fly in the Air Force either. (Dad Jokes)
  146. I’m about to lose my job in the Navy Cost Guard unless I make some drastic changes… I have to take a course in anchor management. (Labor Day Jokes & Psychology Jokes)
  147. What happens when you eat too many Navy Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard beans?… You might end up with a dishonorable discharge.
  148. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Navy knock-knock joke?
  149. Did you know Navy Coast Guard ships run on commercial batteries?… They run on 7 C’s.
  150. Each branch has a military ball (Navy Ball, Army Ball, etc.) And it warms my heart to know that one branch will be having “Space Balls” from here on out.
  151. Top 50 Marine Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Marine jokes. 
  152. I tried out for the Marines but fell just short of their requirements. So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine.
  153. Why are sharks so patriotic?… They are marine fish.
  154. Marines can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the Navy can fathom it. 
  155. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Marines?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself!
  156. My grandfather was a baker in the Marines… He went in all buns glazing.
  157. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… #August… August Who?… A gusta join the #Marines.
  158. My Granddad fought in the war and survived mustard gas and pepper spray… He’s now classed as a seasoned veteran.
  159. Sergeant: “Private! I didn’t see you at camouflage training today!” Private: “Thank you, Sir!”
  160. What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?… Absent without leaf.
  161. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me how to join the Marines?
  162. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me how much money I will make if I join the Marines?
  163. What do you call a Marine cook who’s also a magician?… A soupernatural!
  164. What do you call a Marine who joins the Navy?… A Sub-Marine.
  165. Grandparent Jokes: My Granddad fought in the war and survived mustard gas and pepper spray… He’s now classed as a seasoned veteran.
  166. Why did the Marine refuse to wear a cologne?… It didn’t want to be too fragrant.
  167. Why did the Marine take up meditation?… To stay centered.
  168. Why are there no knock knock jokes about the Marines?… Because freedom rings!
  169. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Marine knock-knock joke?
  170. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Marine knock knock jokes?
  171. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the different ranks of the Marines?
  172. Each branch has a military ball (Navy Ball, Army Ball, etc.) And it warms my heart to know that one branch will be having “Space Balls” from here on out.
  173. Pope Jokes: A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church when the pastor noticed him. “What are you looking at?” asked the clergyman. “All those names. Who are they?” the boy asked. The pastor nodded, and said, “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service.” The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?”
  174. Retirement Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe retire from the Marines?
  175. What do you call a house with an ice-cream sundae on top?… Beats me… “Desserted!”
  176. Did you know you can’t eat ice cream in the military?… Apparently you get arrested for desserting.
  177. Why did the soldier stuff himself with ice cream? He was a desserter.
  178. An ice cream, a creme brulee, and a slice of cheesecake joined the army, but they abandoned their fellow soldiers on their first deployment They are wanted for dessertion.
  179. Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings!
  180. Where does the Navy rank amongst the armed forces?… Submarines.
  181. I tried out for the Marines but fell just short of their requirements. So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine.
  182. What do you call a Marine who joins the Navy?… A Sub-Marine.
  183. I became a chef after I left the Marines… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran.
  185. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta join the Marines.
  186. A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church when the pastor noticed him. “What are you looking at?” asked the clergyman. “All those names. Who are they?” the boy asked. The pastor nodded, and said, “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service.” The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?”
  187. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moomorial day.
  188. What did the Marine say when he saw a bee?… Oorah bee-rah!
  189. What did the marine sergeant yell out on a really hot day?… Hundred and twenty degrees, and falling!
  190. What did the marine call the cow he saw in the field?… Private moo.
  191. What did the marine sergeant say when he saw a hill?… Take the high ground!
  192. What did the marine say when he ordered a cup of coffee?… Marine-style – black and strong!
  193. How did the marine sergeant react when his troops moved too slowly?… Semper Fi-ve miles an hour!
  194. What did the marine say when he saw the car in front of him?… Follow that HMMWV!
  195. What did the marine say when asked where he was going?… Onward and upward!
  196. How did the marine ask for extra hot sauce?… Oorah-hot-sauce!
  197. What did the marine say when he saw a UFO?… Deploy the F-18s!
  198. Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even.
  199. An ensign was standing in line behind a sailor at a vending machine. The ensign asked the sailor if he had change for a dollar. Reaching into his pocket, the sailor replied, “Sure.” The ensign said, “Sailor, don’t you mean yes, sir? Let’s try this again. Do you have change for a dollar?” The sailor replied, “No, sir!”
  200. I think I’m failing my marine biology class… My grade is below C level.
  201. Top 50 Navy Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Navy jokes. 
  202. Navy captain: “Change your course, 10 degrees W” Seaman 1st Class: “Change yours 10 degrees E” Navy captain annoyed: “I’m a Navy captain. Change your course.” Seaman 1st Class: “You must change your course, sir.” Navy captain: “I’m an aircraft carrier..” Seaman 1st Class: “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”
  203. An ensign was standing in line behind a sailor at a vending machine. The ensign asked the sailor if he had change for a dollar. Reaching into his pocket, the sailor replied, “Sure.” The ensign said, “Sailor, don’t you mean yes, sir? Let’s try this again. Do you have change for a dollar?” The sailor replied, “No, sir!”
  204. Navy jet pilot: This is it! We’re flying faster than the speed of sound! Copilot: What? 
  205. Army Jokes: When I lost my rifle, the army charged me $255.99. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. 
  206. Labor Day Jokes: Working for the Navy pays just enough to stay afloat.
  207. Army Jokes: Army soldiers can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the Navy can fathom it. 
  208. Pirate Jokes: A lot of people assume pirates prefer to be in the Navy… But actually they prefer the arrrrrrrrmy.  
  209. Flag Day Jokes: What is the only question on the entrance exam to the U.S. Navy?… “Oh say, can you sea?”
  210. Ocean Jokes: What grades do you need to join the Navy?… 7 C’s. 
  211. What do you call a Navy Admiral who gambles, smokes, drinks, and does drugs?… A Vice Admiral.
  212. Psychology Jokes: I’m going to join the Navy purely out of spite… I’m longing to become a Petty Officer.
  213. Subway… The unofficial restaurant of the US Navy.
  214. Labor Day Jokes: I thought about joining the Navy to be on a submarine… But I changed my mind, I had a sinking feeling about that career path.
  215. Labor Day Jokes: A cool job that sounds lame: Building boats for the Navy… You’d be a subcontractor. 
  216. Retirement Jokes: What is the #1 form of transportation for retired Navy members?… The subway!
  217. Pirate Jokes: 3.14% of Sailors are Pi Rates. 
  218. I wanted to join the Navy… But that ship has sailed… I’ll sea myself out.
  219. The Navy is beginning to recruit blind men… They are sending them out to sea. 
  220. August Jokes: Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta join the Navy. 
  221. Swimming Jokes: Why do they actually prefer non-swimmers in the Navy?… They defend their ship with a lot more enthusiasm. 
  222. What’s the Navy’s favorite exercise?… Planks.
  223. Psychology Jokes: The US Navy will start to equip all their subs with emotional support dogs. After a lot study, they decided on Dachshunds… They will be subma-weiner.
  224. Music Jokes: Commodores… The unofficial band of the Navy.
  225. Dad Jokes: Dad: You wanna join the Navy? You can’t even swim! Son: No one can fly in the Air Force either. 
  226. Ocean Jokes: Why did the Navy ship blush?… Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
  227. Grandparent Jokes: My grandfather is always saying that in the old days people could leave their back doors open… Which is probably why his submarine sank. 
  228. Crayon Jokes: What color are military submarines?… Deep navy. 
  229. Teacher Jokes for July: Why did the sailor go to summer school?… To improve his sea-minus to a sea-plus! 
  230. Geography Jokes: I heard France is replacing its aging, deteriorating navy vessels… I guess French ships don’t always last forever.
  231. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Navy?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! 
  232. Movie Jokes: Why was the Navy movie not permitted to be played in theaters?… Due to censor-ship. 
  233. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the highest rank in the Navy? 
  234. Star Wars Jokes: Why is there no Jedi navy?… Sailing is a path to the dockside. 
  235. Biology Jokes: What did the Barbie factory do when it ran out of belly buttons?… They called the the navel reserve. 
  236. What did the sailor say to the other sailor when they had a problem?… We are in the same boat. 
  237. Leap Year Jokes: What does a Navy captain do during a Leap Year?… Jump ship. 
  238. What’s a sailor’s favorite board game?… Battleship.
  239. Movie Jokes: If Harrison Ford’s son were in the Navy, what would be his favorite city?… Indy-Annapolis. 
  240. Thanksgiving Jokes: What do you call a group of gravy boats on Thanksgiving?… A Gravy Navy.
  241. Movie Jokes: What’s a sailor’s favorite type of movie?… A sea-quel! 
  242. What did the Navy say to the coast guards?… “I’ll SEAL you later” 
  243. Ocean Jokes: What’s a Navy cook’s favorite spice?… Sea-soning!
  244. Psychology Jokes: How do you measure a Navy ship’s happiness?… In nauti-cal smiles.
  245. Crayon Jokes: I’ve never understood the Navy’s color being Navy blue… I thought they were the aqua-marines. 
  246. Music Jokes: What’s a sailor’s favorite band?… Sub-lime.
  247. Swimming Jokes: Navy recruiter: “Do you know how to swim?” Recruit: “Why? Have you run out of ships?” 
  248. What do they call cleaners in the Navy?… Scrubmarines.
  249. Teacher Jokes for August: Why did the navy ship go to school?… It wanted to learn how to make waves!
  250. Super Bowl Jokes: Did you hear about the Super Bowl football player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub? 
  251. Top 50 Space Force Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Space Force jokes. 
  252. What do you call an NCO in the Space Force?… A stargeant.
  253. Labor Day Jokes: So I decided to join the space force today… I immediately got promoted because I have apparently been a space cadet for most of my life. 
  254. Looney Tunes Jokes: Why does America need a Space Force?… In case we get into a Space Jam!
  255. I can at least tell you how Space Force organizes a party… They planet. 
  256. Space Force Commander: This is it! We’re flying faster than the speed of sound! Copilot: What? 
  258. Each branch has a military ball (Navy Ball, Army Ball, etc.) And it warms my heart to know that one branch will be having “Space Balls” from here on out.
  259. Working for the Space Force pays just enough to stay afloat.
  260. Navy Jokes: Space Force members can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the Navy can fathom it. 
  261. Nobody even noticed that Thailand announced they were starting a Space Force too…. Who’s really worried about Thai fighters anyway?
  262. Maybe Space Force is part of Trump’s plan to find… Universal healthcare. 
  263. With this new Space Force being established… I’ve already been hearing that enlistment bonuses are going to be astronomical. 
  264. I’m not sure if the US should build a space force… The costs could skyrocket. 
  265. With the new Space Force I heard America was building their very own Death Star…and the rebels are going to pay for it 
  266. Did you hear about the new Space Force uniform?… It’s just a regular uniform with the belt buckle a few inches lower to account for the moon’s gravity. 
  267. The Air Force chose their hotel based on the number of stars, but the Space Force just wants a planet with some decent atmosphere. 
  268. August Jokes: Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta join the Space Force. 
  269. A Space Force recruiter told a new recruit, “Our fitness test is just different.” The recruit asked, “How so?” The recruiter replied, “You just have to be able to lift your own weight… in zero-g”. 
  270. The Space Force is getting new uniforms. They were thinking about making them look like Stormtroopers, but decided it would be bad for morale if nobody could hit anything. 
  271. Two Space Force guardians are on patrol. One asks, “What’s the best part of our job?” The other replies, “We have the least-complicated deployments. All we have to do is find the nearest Starbucks and figure out how to get to it in orbit.” 
  272. What do you call a Space Force Admiral who gambles, smokes, drinks, and does drugs?… A Vice Admiral.
  273. On the job My buddy joined the Space Force. The other day, he said, “The one thing I can’t get used to is how the supply sergeant keeps yelling, ‘Get your head out of the clouds!’” 
  274. What’s a Space Force drill sergeant’s worst nightmare? A recruit losing their gear because it floated away. 
  275. When a Space Force member gets in trouble for something, their punishment is called “Space-cation.” 
  276. At a party How can you tell if a person at a party is in the Space Force? They’ll tell you about their zero-g combat training, and then accidentally float their drink across the room. 
  277. Did you hear the Space Force was going to be called the “FloatyBois” or “Astrogators”? 
  278. The Space Force named its members “Guardians”. But if you’re an enlisted guardian, your rank is just called “E-2,” “E-3,” etc. You’re a Guardian E-2.
  279. A newly commissioned officer with a cigarette dangling from his lips asked aloud, “anybody got a light?:” An NCO said “I got you covered buddy.” “Buddy?” said the officer. “Don’t you see this bar on my uniform. Let’s try this again. DO YOU HAVE A LIGHT?.” The NCO snapped to attention and replied. “SIR, No Sir.”
  280. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Space Force?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! 
  281. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the highest rank in the Space Force? 
  282. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me how to join the Space Force?
  283. What happens when you eat too many Space Force beans?… You might end up with a dishonorable discharge.
  284. Geometry Jokes: Why do Space Force members always carry a compass?… So they don’t get into pointless arguments.
  285. How do Space Force members keep track of their tasks?.. They use a log! 
  286. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the different ranks of the Space Force?
  287. What do you call an Space Force officer with no sense of humor?… Admiral Serious.
  288. What’s a Space Force captain’s least favorite door on his ship?…The commode door.
  289. Why did the Space Force recruit take a ladder to training?… He wanted to climb the ranks.
  290. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me when the Space Force was established?
  291. What’s the easiest way to get to be a five-star Admiral?… Great reviews on Yelp.
  292. Doctor Jokes: Why did the Space Force optometrist set his clock to military time?… To see 20:20.
  293. Grandparent Jokes: My grandfather was a baker in the Space Force… He went in all buns glazing.
  294. Geography Jokes: Why did the Space Force member love his new compass?… It gave him direction.
  295. Pope Jokes: A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church when the pastor noticed him. “What are you looking at?” asked the clergyman. “All those names. Who are they?” the boy asked. The pastor nodded, and said, “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service.” The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?”
  296. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me how much money I will make if I join the Space Force?
  297. Pi Jokes: What percentage of Space Force recruits are pirates?… 3.14.
  298. Retirement Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe retire from the Space Force?
  299. What’s an Space Force officer’s favorite exercise?… The captain’s chair.
  300. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Space Force knock-knock joke?
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