101 Jokes for the 1st Day of School

by | Aug 3, 2026 | College, Dads, Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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  1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We promise to find the best jokes for the First Day of School!
  2. Teacher: Class, hand in your homework. Students: It is the 1st day of school! Teacher: That is the last excuse this year for not doing your homework.
  3. World Cup Soccer Jokes: World Cup Soccer fans lay out clothes like it is the 1st day of school.
  4. The 1st Day of School is exciting, but so is riding a roller coaster, and I wouldn’t want to do that for nine months in a row either.
  5. Mother: How did you find school on the 1st day today? Daughter: I just got off the bus and there it was!
  6. Custodian Jokes: A new principal was checking over his school on the first day. Passing the stockroom, he was startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for the arrival of students the next day. The school where he had been a Principal the previous year had used a check-out system only slightly less elaborate than that at Fort Knox. Cautiously, he asked the school’s long time Custodian, “Do you think it’s wise to keep the stock room unlocked and to let the teachers take things without requisitions?” The Custodian looked at him gravely… “We trust them with the children, don’t we?”
  7. Custodian Jokes: A school had a problem on the 1st day of school. Girls used lipstick in the bathroom & kissed the mirror. Maintenance removed the prints. This continued. The principal called the girls to the bathroom to demonstrate the cleaning. He dipped a squeegee in the toilet & cleaned the mirror. No More problem!
  8. Mother’s Day Jokes: Mother: “Why are you home from school so early on the 1st day of school?” Son: “I was the only one who could answer a question.” Mother: “Oh, really? What was the question?” Son: “Who threw the eraser at the principal?”
  9. High School Jokes: After the Opening Day High School Assembly Boy: “Isn’t the principal a dummy!” Girl: “Say, do you know who I am?” Boy: “No.” Girl: “I’m the principal’s daughter.” Boy: “And do you know who I am?” Girl: “No,” Boy: “Thank goodness!” (Boy walks away.)
  10. Math Jokes: Why did average get sent to the principal’s office on the 1st day of school… He was being mean.
  11. Spiderman Jokes: Spiderman designed a new outfit for 1st day of school… It’s a class-action suit.
  12. What did the math teacher have for dessert on the 1st day of school?… Pi.
  13. Principal Jokes: A principal notices a Post-It on a locker. “Jocks! This small change in diet can boost your physique FOREVER! Head to the gym to find out how!” Puzzled, he pulls it off and continues down the hall. Just a few lockers down, another catches his eye. “Hey goth girls! Tired of dark eyeliner that just runs all day? One simple trick will fix it! Find out in the gym!” “OK, I’ll bite,” the principal chuckles to himself. He walks to the gymnasium, pushes open the door…and immediately gets stuck. He looks down and sees the floor covered with super-glue. He looks around and sees several students in the same situation: cheerleaders, jocks and others desperately trying to free themselves. Outraged, he removes his shoes to unstick himself and races around the school until he finds a kid placing a note, this time aimed at math geeks, on yet another locker. He slaps the note out of his hand and shouts, “Quit posting clique-bait everywhere!”
  14. Buck Moon Jokes: Why did the student get a detention on the 1st day of school?… He mispronounced the Buck Moon.
  15. September Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, knock… Who is there?… Teddy… Teddy who?… Teddy is the 1st day of school!
  16. TEACHER: I’ll be teaching you English this year & there are two words that I will not permit on any of your writing assignments. One is “cool” and the other is “lousy ”… Student: OK, what are the words?
  17. Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Dewey…. Dewey who?… Dewey have to go to school today?
  18. Show me a kid who likes the first day of school and I’ll show you a kid who likes to get his lip caught under a manhole cover.
  19. Dentist Jokes: Some kids enjoy buying school supplies… To me, it’s like buying your own dental instruments.
  20. Book Jokes: A book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings.
  21. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah who?… Noah more summer – it’s time for school!
  22. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah who?… Noah good joke for the first day of school!
  23. Mom Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you go to your first day of school, give you mama a kiss.
  24. Knock! Knock!… Who is there?… Teddy!… Teddy who?… Teddy (today) is the first day of school! 
  25. Dad Jokes: Father: How did you find school on the 1st day today? Son: I just got off the bus and there it was!
  26. Music Jokes: How did the music teacher get locked in the classroom on the 1st day of school?… His keys were inside the piano!
  27. Knock Knock…Who is there?… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you go to school, do your summer reading!
  28. Biology Jokes: Why did the Cyclops teacher have such an easy 1st day of school?… He only had one pupil.
  29. Knock Knock!… Who’s there!… B-2!… B-2 who?… B-2 school on time! It is the 1st day of school
  30. Knock, Knock!… Who’s there?… Jess!… Jess Who?… Jess (just) wait till I tell you about my first day back to school!
  31. Mom Jokes: Son: I think we need a new teacher. Mom: Why is that? Son: Our teacher doesn’t know anything, she keeps asking us for the answers. 
  32. Biology Jokes: Why did the nose not want to go to school?… He was tired of getting picked on!
  33. Pirate Jokes: Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?… Because they keep getting lost at C.
  34. What is the difference between a school bus driver and a cold?… One knows the roads and one stops the nose!
  35. Math Jokes: What is a math teacher’s favorite season?…  Sum-mer.
  36. Pencil Jokes: I show up at the beginning of each school year with a full pencil box and an empty head.
  37. How did you find school today?… I simply hopped off the bus, and there it was.
  38. Math Jokes: Why did the math book look so sad when it was the 1st day of school?…  Because it had so many problems.
  39. The 1st day of school wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t followed by the 2nd day of school, & the 3rd day of school, & then the 4th day of school…  
  40. Knock Knock… Who’s there… B-4…  B-4 who?… B-4 you go to bed, do your homework!
  41. Kindergarten Jokes: Son: I won a prize in kindergarten today. The teacher asked me how many legs a hippopotamus had. I said three. Dad: Three? How on earth did you win the prize? Son: I came the closest.
  42. Mom Jokes: Son: My teacher says I have to write more clearly. Mom: That’s a good idea. Son: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell.
  43. College Jokes: Why didn’t the sun go to college?… Because it already had a million degrees!
  44. Labor Day Jokes: Teachers always seem happy on the 1st day of school. That’s because they’re getting paid to be there. We kids have to do it for free.
  45. Who was in charge of the school during summer vacation?… The rulers.
  46. Pencil Jokes: What did the pen say to the pencil on the first day of school?… So, what’s your point!
  47. Ice Cream Jokes: What kind of school do you go to if you’re an ice cream man?… Sundae school.
  48. What flies around the elementary school at night?… The alpha-BAT.
  49. Why did the student cross the playground?… To get to the other slide.
  50. High School Jokes: What school requires you to drop out in order to graduate?… Sky diving school.
  51. What did the M&M go to middle school?… Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
  52. Why did the echo get detention on the 1st day of school?… It kept answering back.
  53. Math Jokes: What did the calculator say to the girl on the first day of school?… Pick me and I’ll solve all your problems!
  54. Math Jokes: Teacher: I’m your teacher this year. My name is Mr. Wilson. Can you all remember that? Students: If we can’t, we’re going to have one hard time with the 9 times tables.
  55. Why did the teacher write the class rules on the windows?… She wanted it to be very clear for her students.
  56. Music Jokes: My teacher this year rules the first grade with an iron fist… That’s the way she plays the piano at school assemblies.
  57. Ice Cream Jokes: Why did the kindergartener bring a spoon to his first day of school?…  He thought it was sundae school.
  58. Pencil Jokes: If the #2 pencil is the most popular in #schools, why isn’t it #1? 
  59. Pencil Jokes: What did the paper say to the pencil on the 1st day of school?… Write on! 
  60. Surfing Jokes: What kind of school do you go to if you’re a surfer?…  Boarding school.
  61. New York Jokes: Where do NCTM math teachers like to go on vacation?… Times Square! 
  62. Alabama Jokes: Why is Alabama the smartest state?… Because it has 4 A’s & 1 B!
  63. What’s the difference between a teacher & a train?… A teacher says, “Spit out that #gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!” 
  64. Principal Jokes: Who is everyone’s best friend on the first day of school?… Their princi-PAL. 
  65. Student: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do? Teacher: Of course not. Student: Good, because I didn’t do my homework. 
  66. Kindergarten Jokes: Teacher: Name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago. Student: Me! 
  67. Tree Jokes: Why do trees hate tests?… Because they get stumped by the questions!
  68. How does a middle school science teacher freshen her breath?… With experi-mints!
  69. What should you grow in a school garden?… Human beans!
  70. Why did the teacher jump into the water on the 1st day of school?… She wanted to test the water!
  71. Why isn’t there a clock in the library?… Because it tocks too much.
  72. Bee Jokes: What is the smartest insect?… A spelling bee.
  73. What does your school computer do for lunch?… It has a byte! 
  74. Dad Jokes: What did the buffalo dad say at drop off on the 1st day of school?… Bison. 
  75. Bee Jokes: How do bees get to school on the 1st day?… By school buzz!
  76. Book Jokes: What does a school book do in the fall?… Puts on a jacket.
  77. King Jokes: What’s the king of all school supplies?… The ruler. 
  78. Mom: How did you find school on the 1st day? Son: I just got off the bus & there it was!
  79. How can you make the first day of school fly by?…  Throw a clock!
  80. Math Jokes: Why is 6 afraid of 7?… Because 7 8 (ate) 9!
  81. How do you get straight A’s?… By using a ruler! 
  82. Son to mother after 1st day of school. “Nothing exciting happened in school except the teacher didn’t know how to spell cat, so I told her.”
  83. Snake Jokes: What is the first thing a little snake learns in school?… Hiss tory. 
  84. Napping Jokes: What school supply is always tired?… A knapsack!
  85. Why did the girl do her homework on an airplane?… To achieve a higher education.
  86. Fishing Jokes: Why didn’t the fish go on vacation?…. Because he was always in school.
  87. Pencil Jokes: What did one pencil say to the other on the first day of school?… Looking sharp!
  88. Pencil Jokes: Knock, knock!…. Who’s there?… Pencil…Pencil who?…Never mind, this is pointless.
  89. What did the spider make online?… A website!
  90. What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?… Finding half a worm.
  91. High School Jokes: What kind of school do you go to if you’re a giant?… High School. 
  92. What kind of school do you go to if you’re King Arthur?… Knight school. 
  93. The 1st day of school is always special to me. It’s the only day of the year when I’m not behind in my homework. 
  94. Social Studies Jokes: Why was school easier for cave people?… Because there was no history to study! 
  95. What vegetables to librarians like?… Quiet peas.
  96. What do elves learn in school?… The elf-abet!
  97. How do you like your new teacher?… I don’t. He told me to sit up front for the present & then he didn’t give me one! 
  98. Pencil Jokes: What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?… Stop going in circles and get to the point! 
  99. Teacher Jokes for August: On the 1st Day of School, what did the teacher say her three favorite words were?… June, July & August. 
  100. Book Jokes: A book never written: “The Best Subject in School” by Jim Class. 
  101. Math Jokes & Tree Jokes: What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?… Geometry. 

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