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Google Search “Election Jokes”
- November Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the BEST election jokes in the world.
- George Washington Jokes: “George Washington is the only president who didn’t blame the previous administration for his troubles.” Author Unknown
- Daylight Savings Jokes: Congress finally had a meeting about Daylight Savings… it was about time.
- Hurricane Jokes: We should just name hurricanes after politicians…. That way we wouldn’t have to worry about them actually coming through with anything!
- Hurricane Jokes: The Worst Natural Disaster Election! The natural disasters took a vote to see which one was the worst. Hurricane blew the others away. Earthquake shook things up badly. Flooding was a wash. Blizzard almost buried the rest. Meteor made a deep impact. But in the end, Avalanche won by a landslide.
- Cemetery Jokes: “Being president is like running a cemetery: You’ve got a lot of people under you, and nobody’s listening.” Bill Clinton
- “I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of a national emergency – even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting.” Ronald Reagan
- College Jokes: What is the most popular college during election season?… The Electoral College.
- How many presidential aides does it take to change a light bulb?… None. They’re supposed to keep the President in the dark.
- Dentist Jokes: What might an older candidate need if elected?… Presidentures!
- Flip Flop Jokes: What is the official footwear of the upcoming presidential election?… The flip flop.
- Why do Americans choose just 2 people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? (Presidents Jokes)
- It’s important to look closely at lawn signs during election campaigns… Last time I voted for a real estate agent.
- Delaware Jokes: 2024 Election Jokes: Do you think Joe Biden waited until it was closer to the Olympics to pass the torch? (Summer Olympic Jokes)
- 2024 Election Jokes: What will happen if Republicans finish the border wall?… Democrats won’t get over it.
- In a shocking turn of events, a politician actually kept their campaign promise!… This is being studied closely by political scientists.
- “The problem with political jokes is… they get elected.”
- 2024 Bumper Sticker: Roe Roe Roe your vote!
- Golf Jokes: If you golf on election day, make sure to cast an absent-tee-ballot!
- Why was the delegation from the Dallas Dyslexic Republican Association turned away from the Republican National Convention?… Their placard read: ‘We love Taxes.’
- Iowa Jokes: CNN and FOXnews are predicting Trump winning Iowa… it is a very “corn” servative state.
- NASCAR Jokes: What’s the difference between a presidential election and a NASCAR race?… In NASCAR they wear their sponsors on their shirts.
- Top 50 State Jokes: 2024 Election: Latest Fox News election poll shows Trump way ahead … … in all 87 states.
- Michigan Jokes: 2024 Election Jokes: Michelle Obama and the Democrats want to turn Kalamazoo, Michigan into Kamala-Zoo Michigan.
- I like my sunglasses like I like my politicians… Polarized and able to be bought surprisingly cheap.
- 2020 Election: Why can’t Donald Trump enter the White House?… It is now “For Biden!”
- November 1st 2020: Someone just asked me, “Who do you think will win the 2020 Presidential Election?” I said, “I don’t know, I don’t have 2020 vision.”
- Dentist Jokes: What did Al Gore say when he went to the dentist?… “I have an Inconvenient Tooth.”
- Constitution Jokes: 2024 Election Jokes: I was in the middle of a lake in a canoe with my girlfriend last week when suddenly the boat sprung a leak. We had to decide whether to try and get the boat back to shore or abandon ship. We had a real row v. wade debate that day.
- 2024 Election Jokes: The biggest joke of the 2024 Election… the age of the original candidates (Joe Biden 81 & Donald Trump 78)
- Music Jokes: What Pink Floyd song captures the current political climate?… Us and Them.
- Florida Jokes: Top 3 things Florida is famous for 1. old people. 2. “stand your ground” laws. 3. recounts!
- Barber Jokes: What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?… Hair Force One!
- A new study shows that watching political debates actually lowers your IQ… The study was funded by Congress.
- What was the President doing in the weeks after his awful performance at the Presidential Debate against Donald Trump on June 27th, 2024… Just Biden his time until he dropped out of the race (July 21st, 2024).
- Sesame Street Jokes: 2024 Election: Who was most excited about Donald Trump calling America the trash can of the world?… Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street.
- Chemistry Jokes: How is a politician like an atom?… Because they make up everything.
- Bee Jokes: What do you call a bee that works for the government?… A pollentician.
- Chemistry Jokes: Why did the protons vote for Harry Potter to be president?… Because they didn’t want to elect Ron.
- “Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.” Author Unknown
- Basketball Joke of the Day How can the White House every four years be like jump balls in basketball?… Alternating possessions.
- Basketball Joke of the Day Basketball coaches have really focused on “Stop the Steal” since it was introduced in 2016… They really value limiting turnovers and ball security.
- 2024 Election: Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Orange… Orange Who?… Orange you Joe Biden dropped out of the election.
- Why did the politician cross the road?… To get to the other side… of the issue.
- How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?… Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again.
- Civil War Jokes: “If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” Abraham Lincoln
- Coffee Jokes: Why is it so hard to find coffee in Washington, DC?… The politicians always kept grounds for impeachment.
- Give me a one-handed economist! All my economists say, “On the one hand …on the other.” Harry Truman
- “I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.” Adlai Stevenson
- “There are always too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen, and never enough US congressmen.” Author Unknown
- 2024 Election 2024 Election Goal of Republicans and Democrats… Turn Wisconsin into WisconWIN.
- Breaking news: A politician has been caught telling the truth!… Experts are stunned.
- Winter Jokes: It was so cold today… a Democrat had his hands in his own pockets! (Winter Jokes)
- To err is human. To blame someone else…that’s politics!
- “Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly… and for the same reason.” (Baby Jokes)
- What do you call a bill that’s been passed with bipartisan support in 2024?… A miracle.
- Where does a politician go to hear the will of the People?… An echo chamber!
- A pasta chef was caught stuffing the ballot boxes at a big Broadway awards show… Apparently, he was trying to rig a Tony. (Pasta Jokes)
- Great American Political Book Never Written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks. (Presidents’ Day Jokes / Election Jokes / Book Jokes)
- “Don’t buy a single vote more than necessary. I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay for a landslide.” Joseph P. Kennedy
- Donald Trump goes to a fortune teller and asks, “When am I going to die?” The fortune teller replies, “You will die on a major Mexican holiday.” Trump asks: “Which Mexican holiday? Cinco de Mayo? Dia de los muertos?” The fortune teller replies, “ANY day you die, Donald, will be a major Mexican holiday!”
- 2024 Election Jokes: What will happen if Republicans finish the border wall?… Democrats will get over it.
- Ice Cream Flavors honoring Richard Nixon… ‘ImPeachments & Cream’ and ‘Watermelon-Gate.’ (Election Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes)
- What do you call a politician who tells the truth?… Retired.
- What do you call a lobbyist who tells the truth?… Unemployed.
- There was an election amongst the elements of the periodic table and Iron voted for Zinc… … because Zinc was able to galvanize Iron. (Mole Day Jokes)
- Who are voting for this election?… I’m voting for tricity so vote for tricity… Electricity!
- A politician will find an excuse to get out of anything… except office.
- How did George Washington speak during his 1st presidential campaign?…. In general terms.
- We should just name hurricanes after politicians…. That way we wouldn’t have to worry about them actually coming through with anything. (Hurricane Jokes)
- I can’t believe they’re considering an all mail election… …females worked so hard to get voting rights! (Mailman Jokes)
- 2024 Election Jokes: What is Tim Walz position on Border walls?
- Putin won the election with 76.6% of the vote. Funnily enough the exact same percent I gave myself when my teacher told us we could mark our own tests and I didn’t want to look suspicious. (Teacher Jokes)
- A priest, a politician, and a clown, walk into the bar. The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”
- 2024 Election Jokes: Do you know the most popular band at the 2024 DNC?… Chicago.
- We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Obama, no cash, and no hope.
- Why did Bernie Sanders challenge his 49 vs 50% 2020 Democratic primary loss in Iowa?… I thought he didn’t care about the 1%? (Iowa Jokes)
- Late one night in the capitol city a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. “Give me your money!” he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, “You can’t do this – I’m a U.S. Congressman!” “In that case,” replied the robber, “give me MY money!”
- 2024 Election Jokes: Trump Campaign Slogan: Everybody needs to comb down.
- Instead of Traveling to Oz, the Tin Man, the Lion, and The Scarecrow should run for President… As they lack a heart, mind, and courage. (Presidents Jokes)
- How do Republicans plan on fighting record high temperatures?… By switching from Fahrenheit to Celsius! (Earth Day Jokes)
- If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress?
- What’s the difference between skateboard tricks and my political views?… None – people call them “sick” and “radical.” (Skateboarding Jokes)
- An octopus politician offered to pay my debts if I voted for him…. I guess it’s squid pro quo. (Octopus Jokes)
- What political party are most corn farmers and growers?… They are “corn” servative republic-corns. (Corn Jokes & Farming Jokes)
- Why don’t politicians ever discuss anything in a cornfield?… Too many ears!
- Maine Political Campaign Slogan: “Let’s Keep the Maine Thing… The Main Thing.” (Maine Jokes)
- How many congressmen does it take to fix a flat tire?… None. They’re all afraid of inflation.
- Ever wonder why there is no Congressional basketball game?… Because Congress cannot pass anything. (Basketball Jokes for the Election)
- Got a big decision to make in November… Pumpkin or pecan pie for Thanksgiving? (Pie Jokes / Thanksgiving Jokes / Election Jokes)
- What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?… George Washingtoon!
- The Presidential Debate?… Debate yourself.
- Congress is finally working together!… They’ve agreed to disagree on everything and adjourn early for vacation.
- Who is the unofficial Looney Tunes spokesperson for the NRA?… Yosemite Sam. (Looney Tunes Jokes)
- Punxsutawney Phil makes conservatives out of us all. Every time it snows after February 2, I rethink my position on gun control: “I’m gonna kill that damn groundhog!” (Ground Hog Day Jokes)
- Did you hear the one about the Senator who won his election despite not having thumbs?… He ran unopposed.
- Why did Ron lose the election?… People thought his elect-Ron campaign was too negative. (Election Jokes & Chemistry Jokes)
- 2024 Bumper Sticker: Roe Roe Row your vote!
- What do you call a bee that tries to interfere with the 2024 election?… A Cagey Bee. (Bee Jokes & Election Jokes)
- “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” Winston Churchill
- What would you call it if Sponge Bob ran for governor?… A goobernatorial election.