Chemistry Jokes

My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest 
 Blogs for Education, Parents, Travel, Tutoring, Sports, Senior Living, Music and College.

• Guest Blog: Amazing And Easy Chemistry Projects For Kids
• Top 50 Chemistry Jokes & 101 Chemistry Jokes
• Top X Accounts for Chemistry:
• Chemistry Jokes for Teachers & Chemistry Jokes:
• Mole Day Jokes:

Google Search “Chemistry Jokes”

1. October Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best chemistry jokes!
2. We would like to apologize for not adding more chemistry jokes… but we only update them…. Periodically!
3. The Neutron in a Bar: A neutron walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, “For you? No charge!”
4. The Positive Atom: Two atoms are walking down the street. One says, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!” The other asks, “Are you sure??” “Yes, I’m positive!”
5. August Jokes: August without gust is…gold.
6. October 23rd, 2026 Milwaukee Brewers Jokes: The MOLE waukee Brewers, playing in the World Series at home on MOLE DAY for the 1st time since 1982… bet the house.
7. H₂O is water and H₂O₂ is hydrogen peroxide. What is H₂O₄?… Drinking.
8. Music Jokes: What is the chemistry teacher’s favorite Pointer Sister’s song?… Neutron dance.
9. Winter Olympics Jokes: What does chemistry and figure skating have in common?… Elements.
10. Election Jokes: How is a politician like an atom?… Because they make up everything.
11. Brownie Jokes: What is the chemical formula for the molecules in a brownie?… Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe.
12. Mole Day Jokes: What did one mole say to the other?… We make great chemistry together.
13. Jokes for the Last Day of School: Why did the chemistry teacher apologize for his terrible jokes on the last day of school?… He explained that the good ones argon. 
14. What kind of weapon can you make out of Potassium, Nickel and Iron?… A KNiFe.
15. What do you call two diamonds out on the town?… Carbon dating.
16. Marriage Jokes: Did you hear that oxygen proposed to magnesium?… OMg!
17. Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium?… He just couldn’t put it down.
18. Monday Jokes: Why was the acid so rude on Monday?… He was a-mean-o-acid.
19. August Jokes: Did you hear about the gold that went flying when the wind blew strongly?… It was an Au-gust.
20. Chemistry Jokes: Why did the protons vote for Harry Potter to be president?… Because they didn’t want to elect Ron.
21. Tutoring Jokes: Chemistry Tutor: What is the chemical formula for water? Student: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O. Chemistry Tutor: What are you talking about? Student: Yesterday you said it was H to O. 
22. The Dead Chemist: What do you do with a dead chemist?.,, Barium.
23. Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?… It’s mole-itically incorrect.
24. Movie Jokes: The name’s bond. Ionic bond. Taken, not shared.
25. The Noble Gas: Why did the noble gas cry?… Because all his friends argon.
26. Tutoring Jokes: Why did the chemistry tutor get fired… He had no chemistry with the student. 
27. Watermelon Jokes: If there is watermelon why isn’t there firemelon and airmelon and earthmelon. You know…the four elemelons.
28. What do you get by mixing barium with two atoms of sodium?… A BaNaNa,
29. Gold walks into a shop. The shop keeper says “Au, get outta here!”
30. How often should you tell a chemistry joke?… Periodically.
31. Kansas Jokes: What do you call a Kansas cover band composed of physicists?… Baryon my wayward son!
32. Why do chemists like nitrates?… They’re cheaper than day rates.
33. Chemistry Jokes for Teachers: Why didn’t the physics and biology teachers get along?… ​They had no chemistry.
34. Chemistry Jokes for Teachers: How often should a chemistry teacher tell a chemistry joke to the students?… Periodically.
35. College Jokes: How often should a chemistry professor tell a chemistry joke to the students?… Periodically.
36. Mole Day Jokes: The MOLE waukee Brewers… the unofficial MLB team of Mole Day.
37. Who is Avogadro’s favorite MLB team?… The MOLE waukee Brewers.
38. What do you call a purse filled with sulfur, tungsten and silver?.. A SWAg bag.
39. 2026 World Series Jokes:Who is Avogadro cheering for in 2026 World Series.. The MOLE waukee Brewers
40. Wedding Jokes: Did you hear that oxygen married magnesium?… OMg!
41. Why did the white bear dissolve in water? .. Because it was polar.
42. What’s Avogadro’s favorite animal?… A mole.
43. Wizard of Oz Jokes: What are the moles’ favorite line from the Wizard of Oz?… “I’m mole-ting, I’m mole-ting.”
44. Florida State Football Jokes: What’s the mole’s favorite college football team?… The Florida State Semimoles.
45. Divorce Jokes: Did you hear that oxygen divorced magnesium?… OMg!
46. Why are the noble gasses so lonely?… Because they’re most stable alone.
47. What did one atom say to the other atom?… Boy, I’ve got your number!
48.  If H₂0 is water what is H₂0₄? … Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming. .
49. Where do amino acids go to pray?… The cysteine chapel.
50. Why did the medieval chemist travel the world?… He wanted to master alchemy.
51. If Iron Man teamed up with Silver Surfer… they would be alloys!
52. Avogadro loved to watch MASH. Which character did he like most?… Father Molecahy
53. A cloud of radon floats into a cafe. The waiter says, “we don’t serve inert gases here”. There was no reaction from the radon.
54. Uranium walks into a class, the teacher asks “Who are you?” Uranium says “I’m U!”
55. The Helium Discovery: What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium?… HeHe.
56. Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?… He got Avogadro’s number!
57. A sodium atom and a chlorine atom got into a skirmish…. Both were arrested for a salt.
58. Mole Day Jokes: Why did Avogadro stop going to a chiropractor on October 24th?… He was only tense to the 23rd!
59. Silver walks up to an element and says “A” “u” give me all your gold. The element looks back at silver and says “A” “g” you can have it.
60. What do trees like to study in school?… Chemistree.
61. A group of nagging dentists discovered a new chemical element… It’s called Flossphorus
62. If a mole of moles were digging a mole of holes, what would you see?… A mole of molasses!
63. Milwaukee Brewers Jokes: The MOLE waukee Brewers… the unofficial MLB team of National Chemistry Week.
64. Watermelon Jokes: What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?… Watermolens!
65. If you’re not part of the solution… you’re part of the precipitate!
66. Tutoring Jokes: How often does a chemistry tutor tell a joke?… periodically.
67. Full Moon Jokes: Why don’t scientists trust atoms?… Because they make up everything, even the moon!
68. How much does Avogadro exaggerate?… He makes mountains out of mole hills.
69. How does Avogadro write to his friends?… By e-mole!
70. Presidents’ Day Jokes: How do you tell the difference between a presidential candidate and a chemistry professor?… Ask them to read this word aloud: unionized.
71. Delaware Jokes: A DuPont chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, “Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?” “You mean aspirin?” says the pharmacist. “That’s it! I can never remember that word.”
72. What did Avogadro get when he mixed ice cream, chocolate syrup, and milk together?… A chocolate Moletd.
73. How many guacs are in a bowl of guacamole?… Avocado’s number!
74. What element do moles love to study in chemistry?… Molybdenum.
75. What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?… Marsh-mole-ows!
76. What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?… A one molar solution.
77. What did Avogadro collect at the seashore?… mole-uscs
78. Why is Avogadro so rich?… He’s a multi-mole-ionare!
79. What did Avogadro call his church services?… Molar Mass
80. Why was there only one Avogadro?… When they made him, they broke the Moled
81. What kept Avogadro in bed for two months?… Moleonucleosis.
82. What did Avogadro invent for his wife to use as a night cream?… Oil of Molay
83. Why is Avogadro in love with Cindy Crawford?… She’s his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
84. What did the generous mole say when his friends crashed his party?… The mole the merrier!
85. What kind of test do student moles like best?… Mole-tiple choice.
86. What is Avogadro’s favorite kind of music?… Rock ‘N’ Mole
87. .What happens when a mole bites a dog?… He becomes Moleicious!
88. Why does the chemist like going to the zoo?… To see the animoles.
89. What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?… Moletiplication.
90. Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?… One of his molars.
91. Who is the the mole’s favorite actor?… Mole Gibson
92. Why are moles bad at counting?… Because they only know one number.
93. What’s the mole’s favorite brand of soda?… Coca-Mola.
94. What’s the mole’s favorite Disney Movie?… The Little Molemaid.
95. Why do moles love music from the 60′s?… Because of Moletown.
96. Why are moles always on the phone?… Because they love moleble devices.
97. Why do moles love Tyra Banks?… Because she’s on America’s Next Top Moledel.
98. What was Avogadro dressed as when he went to the masquerade ball?… an avacado.
99. What was Avogadro full of?… Molar energy or 6 × 10²³ particles
100. Why are moles always eating?… Because they’re molenourished.
101. How did Avogadro get through the desert?… on a camole.
102. On which American mountain was Avogadro’s face carved in stone?… Mount Rushmole.
103. What was Avogadro’s favorite board game?… Moleoply
104. Who was Avogadro’s favorite singing group?… The Moleing Stones.
105. Who was Avogadro’s favorite composer?… Moles art.
106. How would you have described Avogadro’s room while he was a teenager?… a Molar Mess.
107. What was Avogadro’s best day in golf?… when he got a mole-in-one.
108. What is Avogadro teaching his astronomy class about?… the molar system.
109. How did Avogadro help his team win the soccer playoffs?… he scored the winning mole.
110. Why did people say Avogadro was lazy?… They said he was slow as moleasses.
111. What are moles made of?… molecules.
112. Why did Ronald lose the election?… People thought his elect Ron campaign was too negative.
113. Anyone know any jokes about sodium?… Na.
114. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?… Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe! 
115. .
116. What do you get when you complete science class?… A graduated cylinder.
117. Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets?… Polly, Ethel and Ian.
118. Ron lives a long, happy life and then dies. What does he reincarnate as?… A neuron.
119. How do penguins drink?… Out of beak-ers! 
120. How did the student graduate at the top of his class with a major like chemistry?… I think he felt like he was finally in his element.
121. What do you call a 10th grader taking chemistry?… A Soph – Mol.
122. There was an election amongst the elements of the periodic table and Iron voted for Zinc… because Zinc was able to galvanize Iron.
123. What do chemists’ dogs do with their bones?… They barium! 
124. What do you call 2 sodium atoms in the ocean?… tuNa!
125. What do you call Mufasa’s farts?… Noble gas!
126. What did the generous mole say when his friends crashed his party?… The mole the merrier!
127. What kind of test do student moles like best?… Mole-tiple choice.
128. What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?… A bunch of Moleasses.
129. What line from Shakespeare do high school moles have to memorize?… “To mole or not to mole, this is the question.”
130. What is a mole’s favorite television show?… Molerose place.
131. What is Avogadro’s favorite day of the week?… Moleday.
132. How would you describe a stinky chemist? … Mole-odorous.
133. What are mammoles?… Four-legged animoles!
134. Why can’t Avogadro have pets?… Because he will mole them.
135. What was Avogadro’s favorite Native American tribe?… The Molehawks.
136. Who is the mole’s favorite rapper?… Mole-ja Boy.
137. What is the mole’s favorite tv show?… Mole-eesha.
138. What is the mole’s favorite Britney Spears song? … Gimme Mole.
139. Why don’t moles like Rod Stewart?… Because he’s a wannabe Barry Manimole.
140. What did Avogadro give his ex-wife every month?… Alimoley.
141. What did Avogadro have on his pancakes?… moleasses.
142. On which American mountain was Avogadro’s face carved in stone?… Mount Rushmole.
143. What song did Avogadro’s family sing on New Year’s Eve?… “Mole Lang Syne.”
144. Where did Avogadro send his CARE packages?… Moleasia.
145. What did Avogadro put into the pockets of his tweed suit?… moleth balls.
146. Can you name two movies that Avogadro really liked?… Mole Miner’s Daughter and Moleby Dick.
147. How did Avogadro send a secret message with his walkie-talkie?… He used Molse Code.
148. Which Walt Disney characters was Avogadro fond of?… Mickey and Minnie Mole.
149. What was Avogadro’s favorite drink?… Moleson Golden Ale.
150. What did Avogadro’s bird do when it was time for him to send his feathers?… it moleted.
151. What was the mad bomber’s favorite drink?… Moletev cocktail.
152. Where did Mrs. Avogadro do her shopping?… In a shopping mole.
153. Which team lost the World Series in 1982?… the Molewaukee Brewers.
154. What do you sue to flatten hot asphalt?… a steam moler.
155. Which part of the universe did Avogadro like to study?… the Molkey Way.
156. What is Avogadro’s favorite sport?… lawn moles.
157. What happened to Avogadro when he had to drive over a bridge?… he had to pay at the molegate!
158. What area did Avogadro explore?… The South Mole.
159. What were Avogadro’s houses made of?… Moleskin.
160. Where does Avogadro plant his trees?… moles in the ground.
161. What was Avogadro’s best subject?… Mass.
162. What was the problem Avogadro had with his shoes?… He wore the moles out too quickly!
163. At what time was Avogadro at his romantic best?… on mole-lit nights.
164. What scientist was a member of the pig family?… Neils Bohr.
165. What is Avogadro’s favorite character… Masswell Smart.
166. What’s the mole’s favorite Disney Channel movie?… Mole-aweentown.
167. Where do students graduate?… at moleage.
168. Where did Avogadro go sailing?… Mole ucc Strait.
169. Why don’t moles like teenage actresses?… Because Lindsay Molehan gives them a bad reputation.
170. What did Avogadro do when he lost his job?.. he joined the mole queue.
171. How do moles finance their homes?… With a molergage!
172. What are Avogadro’s favorite places?… Moldend, Massachusetts.
174. Guest Blog: Amazing And Easy Chemistry Projects For Kids
175. Mole Day  Dictionary: Demoleition: The destruction which moles bring about in your yard.
176. Mole Day Dictionary: Dismole: being gloomy on Mole Day
177. Mole Day Dictionary: Imoleble: anything that does not have to do with a mole
178. Mole Day Dictionary: Mol: the symbol for mole
179. Mole Day Dictionary: Mole-mole: a mole double agent
180. Mole Day Dictionary: Molearchy: government in which moles are in complete control; under this government Mole Day is celebrated three times a year and  chemistry is the only scientific subject taught in school
181. Mole Day Dictionary: Molebile: a mole which hangs from the ceiling; also a term describing anything which can move rapidly
182. Mole Day Dictionary: inderground Molect: the obsessive collection of Mole Day stuff including T-shirts, lawn decorations, pins, and endless other things
183. Mole Day Dictionary: Molectomy: the study of a mole’s insides
184. Mole Day Dictionary: Molehill: a large hill made of dirt in your backyard, formed from moles borrowing underground; also a term used to describe anything that’s pesky
185. Mole Day Dictionary: Moleism: the continual reverence of moles
186. Mole Day Dictionary: Molelaberate: working together on a project which includes moles
187. Mole Day Dictionary: Moleodic: a word describing the Mole Day songs which are played over the loudspeaker
188. Mole Day Dictionary: Moleskito: a tiny molelike creature with wings which drinks the blood of anyone who doesn’t remember when
189. Mole Day Dictionary: Mole Day is Remoletly: obscurely having to do with a mole
190. Mole Day Dictionary: Remolte control: a devise used by moles to watch all their favorite television shows, such as Bill Nye the Science Guy and the Discovery Channel, particularly used by lazy papa moles
191. Mole Day Dictionary: Sophmole: anyone in the tenth grade who is taking Chemistry already
192. Mole Day Dictionary: Thermole: an adjective describing a mole of a highly explosive substance