Top 50 Navy Jokes

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1. Navy captain: “Change your course, 10 degrees W” Seaman 1st Class: “Change yours 10 degrees E” Navy captain annoyed: “I’m a Navy captain. Change your course.” Seaman 1st Class: “You must change your course, sir.” Navy captain: “I’m an aircraft carrier..” Seaman 1st Class: “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”
2. An ensign was standing in line behind a sailor at a vending machine. The ensign asked the sailor if he had change for a dollar. Reaching into his pocket, the sailor replied, “Sure.” The ensign said, “Sailor, don’t you mean yes, sir? Let’s try this again. Do you have change for a dollar?” The sailor replied, “No, sir!”
3. Navy jet pilot: This is it! We’re flying faster than the speed of sound! Copilot: What? 
4. Army Jokes: When I lost my rifle, the army charged me $255.99. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. 
5. Working for the Navy pays just enough to stay afloat.
6. Army Jokes: Army soldiers can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the Navy can fathom it. 
7. Pirate Jokes: A lot of people assume pirates prefer to be in the Navy… But actually they prefer the arrrrrrrrmy.  
8. Flag Day Jokes: What is the only question on the entrance exam to the U.S. Navy?… “Oh say, can you sea?”
9. Ocean Jokes: What grades do you need to join the Navy?… 7 C’s. 
10. What do you call a Navy Admiral who gambles, smokes, drinks, and does drugs?… A Vice Admiral.
11. Psychology Jokes: I’m going to join the Navy purely out of spite… I’m longing to become a Petty Officer.
12. Subway… The unofficial restaurant of the US Navy.
13. Labor Day Jokes: I thought about joining the Navy to be on a submarine… But I changed my mind, I had a sinking feeling about that career path.
14. Labor Day Jokes: A cool job that sounds lame: Building boats for the Navy… You’d be a subcontractor. 
15. Retirement Jokes: What is the #1 form of transportation for retired Navy members?… The subway!
16. Pirate Jokes: 3.14% of Sailors are Pi Rates. 
17. I wanted to join the Navy… But that ship has sailed… I’ll sea myself out.
18. The Navy is beginning to recruit blind men… They are sending them out to sea. 
19. August Jokes: Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta join the Navy. 
20. Swimming Jokes: Why do they actually prefer non-swimmers in the Navy?… They defend their ship with a lot more enthusiasm. 
21. What’s the Navy’s favorite exercise?… Planks.
22. Psychology Jokes: The US Navy will start to equip all their subs with emotional support dogs. After a lot study, they decided on Dachshunds… They will be subma-weiner.
23. Music Jokes: Commodores… The unofficial band of the Navy.
24. Dad Jokes: Dad: You wanna join the Navy? You can’t even swim! Son: No one can fly in the Air Force either. 
25. Ocean Jokes: Why did the Navy ship blush?… Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
26. Grandparent Jokes: My grandfather is always saying that in the old days people could leave their back doors open… Which is probably why his submarine sank. 
27. Crayon Jokes: What color are military submarines?… Deep navy. 
28. Teacher Jokes for July: Why did the sailor go to summer school?… To improve his sea-minus to a sea-plus! 
29. Geography Jokes: I heard France is replacing its aging, deteriorating navy vessels… I guess French ships don’t always last forever.
30. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Navy?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! 
31. Movie Jokes: Why was the Navy movie not permitted to be played in theaters?… Due to censor-ship. 
32. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the highest rank in the Navy? 
33. Star Wars Jokes: Why is there no Jedi navy?… Sailing is a path to the dockside. 
34. Biology Jokes: What did the Barbie factory do when it ran out of belly buttons?… They called the the navel reserve. 
35. What did the sailor say to the other sailor when they had a problem?… We are in the same boat. 
36. Leap Year Jokes: What does a Navy captain do during a Leap Year?… Jump ship. 
37. What’s a sailor’s favorite board game?… Battleship.
38. Movie Jokes: If Harrison Ford’s son were in the Navy, what would be his favorite city?… Indy-Annapolis. 
39. Thanksgiving Jokes: What do you call a group of gravy boats on Thanksgiving?… A Gravy Navy.
40. Movie Jokes: What’s a sailor’s favorite type of movie?… A sea-quel! 
41. What did the Navy say to the coast guards?… “I’ll SEAL you later” 
42. Ocean Jokes: What’s a Navy cook’s favorite spice?… Sea-soning!
43. Psychology Jokes: How do you measure a Navy ship’s happiness?… In nauti-cal smiles.
44. Crayon Jokes: I’ve never understood the Navy’s color being Navy blue… I thought they were the aqua-marines. 
45. Music Jokes: What’s a sailor’s favorite band?… Sub-lime.
46. Swimming Jokes: Navy recruiter: “Do you know how to swim?” Recruit: “Why? Have you run out of ships?” 
47. What do they call cleaners in the Navy?… Scrubmarines.
48. Teacher Jokes for August: Why did the navy ship go to school?… It wanted to learn how to make waves!
49. Super Bowl Jokes: Did you hear about the Super Bowl football player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub? 
50. Black Friday Jokes: Old Neigh-vy… the unofficial story of the Navy.