Boston Celtics Jokes

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“The Boston Celtics are not a basketball team, they are a way of life.” Red Auerbach

Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Boston Celtics basketball jokes.
1957, 1959, 1960, 1961, 1962, 1963, 1964, 1965, 1966, 1968, 1969, 1974, 1976, 1981, 1984, 1986, 2008, 2024... Banner years in Boston!
Massachusetts Jokes: What famous Southern Rock anthem is the same as the Boston Celtics offense during the 1980s… Free Bird.
June Jokes: 617 Day: The unofficial holiday of the Boston Celtics. (June 17th is the date the Celtics won the 2008 and 2024 NBA Titles.)
Massachusetts Jokes: Did you know the Celtics nutritionist does not recommend butter ever. His choice…. parkay.
NBA Champions: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the how many NBA titles the Celtics have won?
American Revolution Jokes: 2024 NBA Finals: June 17th, 2024: Boston Three Party. December 16, 1773: Boston Tea Party.
You know what is no joke?… The number of NBA titles the Boston Celtics have won. (NBA Champions)
Massachusetts Jokes: I know why the Boston Celtics picked the them of “Different Here” for the 2024 NBA Playoffs… They talk different. Just ask a Celtics’ fan to say “Park the car in Harvard Yard!”
1986 NBA Finals: What type of entertainment did the 1986 Celtics hate?… Any type of Magic show.
Texas Jokes: 2024 NBA Finals: Boston Celtics: Hey Kyrie…. BYE rie!
Music Jokes: What is Red Auerbach’s favorite Pink Floyd song?… Have a cigar.
Bird Jokes: Who is the National Audubon Society‘s favorite NBA Player of all-time?… Larry Bird.
Crayon Jokes: Who is a Crayola crayon’s favorite NBA coach of all-time?… Red Auerbach.
What Celtics Legend is most likely to pay for dinner?… John “I’ll” Havlicek.
Graduation Jokes “I have two college degrees, four honorary doctorate degrees, and am in three Halls of Fame, and the only thing I know how to do is teach tall people how to put a ball in the hole.” Red Auerbach
Sesame Street Jokes: What do Oscar The Grouch and Larry Bird have in common?… The are great at trash talking.
Retirement Jokes: Retired Celtics, like everyone, watch a lot of TV these days, NetFlix, Hulu, HBO… I don’t know why. They just never seem to pay for Showtime.
How do the Boston Celtics feel about having a leprechaun as a mascot?… Lucky!
Music Jokes: Who is the most musical Celtic of all-time?… DJ Johnson.
Who is the most honest player in the history of basketball?… Paul “The Truth” Pierce.
Movie Jokes: 2024 NBA Finals: Derrick White was amazing… “You can’t handle the Tooth!”
Christmas Jokes: 2024 NBA Finals: What is Derrick White’s favorite Christmas song?… All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.
NBA Champions: 1981 NBA Champions: If Cedric Maxwell played in the NBA today… He would get a MAX contract!
College Basketball Jokes: 2025 March March Madness Jokes: The Boston Celtics had TWO Big Threes… Xavier has the Three Musketeers.
Dentist Jokes: What kind of toothpaste does Derrick White use?… Crest 3D White.
2024... Another banner year in Boston!
What is Dave Cowens’ favorite type of gum?… Big Red.
Music Jokes: 2024 NBA Finals: Boston Celtics: What Tom Petty song could Al Horford relate to when he became the NBA player with the most playoff games (186) before becoming an NBA Champion… The Waiting (is the hardest part)
2025 Playoffs: It is going to take a lot more than Magic (and a Jason Tatum wrist injury) for #7 Orlando to beat the #2 Celtics!
2025 Playoffs: Jrue Holiday recovered from his hamstring injury just in the Knick of time.
Movie Jokes: 2008 NBA Finals: Celtics fans to the Los Angeles Lakers… You can’t handle “The Truth.”
Massachusetts Jokes: What NBA team has the best floral arrangements?… The Boston Celtics. They play at the TD Garden.
Massachusetts Jokes: 2024 NBA Finals: How was the Boston Celtics 2024 NBA Championship Parade?… Just ducky! Cue The Ducks
Iowa Jokes: What Celtic is a fan favorite in Iowa?… Luke Kornet.
Indiana Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the nickname of Larry Bird when he played for the Boston Celtics?
Michigan Jokes: What appliance was seldom used in New England in the 1980s when the Celtics played the Detroit Pistons?… The Microwave.
What owner of the Boston Celtics do crayons adore?… Walter Brown.
What does Cedric Maxwell put on his Cornbread?… Not butter, parkay.
What Boston Celtic legend would make a great bartender?… Kristaps Porziņģis.
NBA Champions: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the last time the Celtics won the NBA Championship?
What was the original Boston Celtics Big Three’s favorite TV show?… McHale’s Navy.
NBA Champions: 1986 NBA Champions: What was the favorite TV show of the 1986 Celtics?… The Waltons.
Everyone was sad when Bill Walton passed on May 27th, 2024. Everyone except…. The Grateful Dead.
Who would be a better Celtic car salesman?… Chris Ford of M.L. Carr.
2024 NBA Finals: What is Boston Celtics least favorite American TV show?… Dallas.
Music Jokes: What is Jason Tatum’s favorite Beach Boys song?…. Little Deuce Coupe.
2024 NBA Finals: After Kyrie Irving stomped on the center court Celtics logo he was 0 – 13 against the Celtics… not so lucky I guess. (his 1st win was game #14.)
American Revolution Jokes: 2024 NBA Finals: What would the Sons of Liberty say after the Celtics won the 2004 NBA Championship?… “Huzzah Mazulla!”
What is the official snake of the Boston Celtics?… The White Mamba.
NBA Champions: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the name of the youngest coach to win an NBA Championship?… Bill Russell. (34)
Geography Jokes: 2008 NBA Finals: Who is the geography teacher’s favorite Celtics coach of all-time?… Doc Rivers.
Police Jokes: 2024 NBA Finals: Why was the Massachusetts State Police looking for Jaylen Brown and Jason Tatum?… They are “partners in crime.”
Crayon Jokes: 2024 Finals: Who is the 2024 NBA Finals Crayola MVP?…. Derrick White or Jaylen Brown.
USA Men’s Basketball 2024 Olympic Team: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the names of the 3 Celtics from the 2024 Championship team who played on the Olympic team in Paris?… Jason Tatum, Jrue Holiday, Derrick White.
NBA Champions: 2024 NBA Finals: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the names of the two youngest coaches to win an NBA Championship?… Bill Russell (34) and Joe Mazzulla (35).
Florida Jokes: Why do the Celtics go to Miami?… To beat the heat.
Florida Jokes: 2024 NBA Finals: Boston Celtics: Can you believe the Celtics flew to Miami after winning the NBA Title?… I guess it is not THAT big a deal. There are at least 18 reasons to look the other way.
1981 NBA Finals: How did Cedric Maxwell celebrate his 1981 NBA Finals MVP trophy?… With his favorite side dish, Cornbread.
Did you know Bill Russell had a HUGE growth spurt?… His family gave him a nickname… Russell Spouts.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the name of the only NBA player who won 2 NBA titles with different teams and it was his 1st year with each team?… Jrue Holiday. (2024 Boston Celtics & 2021 Milwaukee Bucks)
2024 NBA Finals: Boston Celtics: Final play of the season: June 21st Backdoor cut to the Seaport District for cornhole at Cisco Brewery.
2024 NBA Finals: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the only Dominican born basketball player to win an NBA Championship?… Al Horford.
2024 NBA Finals: What Jimmy Buffett song did the Celtics fan love to hear following the devastating defeat in Dallas (122-84) on Friday June 14th?… Come Monday. (365 Music Jokes) (The Celtics won their 18th NBA title on Monday June 17th.)
What song do die hard Celtics refuse to listen to?… Bad Boys (the Theme of Cops) by Inner Circle.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the how many NBA titles Red Auerbach won as a coach of the Boston Celtics?
Who is the Pope’s favorite Celtic of all-time?… Robert Parish.
2024 NBA Finals: Where does Payton Prichard practice shooting?… Way downtown.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the nickname of Shaquille O’Neal when he played for the Boston Celtics?
2024 NBA Finals: Boston Celtics: Hey Kyrie, since we won that championship you promised us, we won’t chant “Kyrie Sucks” ever again… … Just (“Jason”) Kidding.
2024 NBA Finals: Boston Celtics: We were really scared after the Game 4 blowout… Just (“Jason”) Kidding.
Who is a dairy farmer’s favorite Celtic of all-time?… Dave “Cow” ens.
Joe Mazulla took the Boston Celtics on a hike to climb a mountain during the layoff before the 2024 NBA Finals … He wanted them to have a higher basketball IQ.
What former Boston Celtics basketball player does the Royal Family love?… Isaiah Thomas, the King of the 4th.
Who is a Native American’s favorite Celtic of all-time?… Robert “the Chief” Parish.
What former Boston Celtics basketball player would be a great spokesperson for National Taco Day?… Tacko Fall.
NBA Champions: 2024 NBA Finals: Boston Celtics: To honor Red Auerbach, what Pink Floyd song did they play in the locker room while sipping champagne and celebrating?… Have a cigar.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me Paul Pierce’s nickname?
November 22nd, 2024: The Celtics tied an NBA record with 29 made 3-pointers. This also was an opening night record… Could it be another banner year for the Boston Celtics?
Who is a priest’s favorite Celtic of all-time?… Robert Parish.
What do you call someone who can name the Celtics leading playoff scoring and assists leader?… A Bird brain.
2024 Finals: What summer blockbuster movie did the the Celtics refuse to go see?… Bad Boys 4 Ride or Die. (Movie Jokes)
What former Boston Celtics basketball player would be a great spokesperson for Autumn in New England?… Tacko Fall.
2022 NBA Finals: How did the Boston Celtics president Brad Stevens feel after losing to the Los Angeles Lakers in the 2022 NBA Finals?… He was Butler Blue.
Marcus Smart was a polarizing NBA player when he played for the Celtics. Fans think he is a clutch player with defensive intensity that is out of this world. Critics think he is nothing but a flop.
Who is a butcher’s favorite Celtic of all-time?… Dave “Cow” ens. (Cow Jokes)
2024 NBA Finals: D White…. He can sure play D and shoot the 3.
What a great honor to see the Celtics wear the tie-dye WALTON warm-ups in honor of basketball legend Bill Walton who passed on May 27th, 2024. Everyone was so happy…. Especially The Grateful Dead and all the Deadheads fans.
2024 NBA Finals All-Crayola Team: Boston Celtics: Jaylen Brown, Derrick White Dallas Mavericks Greg Brown III, Josh Green.
What Pink Floyd song do the Celtics play when they win an NBA title in honor of is Red Auerbach?… Have a cigar.
2024 NBA Finals: Boston Celtics: What Tom Petty song could Jason Tatum and Jaylen Brown relate to when he became the NBA duo with the most playoff games (106) before becoming NBA Champions… The Waiting (is the hardest part) (365 Music Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me how many NBA titles the Larry Bird won?
What is Cedric Maxwell’s favorite side dish?… Cornbread.
Who is a Crayola crayon’s favorite NBA GM of all-time?… Red Auerbach. (Crayon Jokes)
What’s the difference between the Boston Celtics and a dollar bill?… Nothing. You can still get four quarters out of each of them.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me how many NBA MVPs Larry Bird won?
Who is one the 2024 NBA Crayola Basketball Team?…. Derrick White. (Crayon Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me how many NBA Finals MVPs Larry Bird won?
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the names and numbers for the retired jerseys for the Boston Celtics?
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the starting five for the 1986 NBA Champion Celtics?
Jayson Tatum on Olympic Coach Steve Kerr?… Hate ‘Em.
The leaves fall in autumn in New England. Can you guess their favorite Celtic of all-time?…. Bill Russell. (Fall Jokes)
Why did Payton Prichard get arrested?… He shot the ball. (Police Jokes)
2024 Finals: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the name of the first player born in Latvia to win an NBA Championship? (Kristaps Porzingis)
1957 NBA Champions Boston Celtics Red Auerbach took the Boston Celtics on a hike to climb a mountain during the layoff before the 1957 NBA Finals … He wanted them to have a higher basketball IQ. (NBA Basketball Jokes)
2024 NBA Finals: Boston Celtics: What did the Boston Social Studies teacher say after the Celtics won their 18th banner in 20204?… “Huzzah Mazulla!”
2024 NBA Finals: Boston Celtics: Hey Dallas, Great competitive series… Just (“Jason”) Kidding. (Celtics won with a Gentleman’s Sweep 4 – 1)
2024 NBA Finals: Response of Jrue Holiday, the Boston Celtics guard when asked how he plans to go about slowing the Dallas Mavericks playmaker in the 2024 NBA Finals… “Pray.”
What is Red Red Auerbach’s favorite type of gum?… Big Red. (Gum Jokes)
What is Dave Cowens’ favorite type of gum?… Big Red. (Gum Jokes)
2024 NBA Finals: Boston Celtics: What Dallas Mavericks players in the 2024 NBA Finals has a sweet tooth?… Alex Fudge.
2024 NBA Finals: Boston Celtics: Jrue Holiday…. is a TRUE 2-Time NBA Champion.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the starting five for the 2008 NBA Champion Celtics?
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the coach who has the most career wins for the Boston Celtics?
2024 NBA Finals: What is Joe Mazzulla’s (NBA Championship Coach) favorite Christmas song?… “Oh Christmas Three, Oh Christmas Three!” (Christmas Jokes)
2024 NBA Finals: Why did the Celtics travel to Miami on Juneteenth, 2024?… To literally beat the (Boston) Heat.
2024 NBA Finals: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the head coach of the 2024 NBA Champion Boston Celtics? (NBA Champion Coaches)
1957 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the head coach of the 1957 NBA Champion Boston Celtics? (NBA Champion Coaches)
1959 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
1959… Another banner year in Boston!
1959 NBA Champions Boston Celtics Red Auerbach took the Boston Celtics on a hike to climb a mountain just before the 1957 NBA Finals … He wanted them to have a higher basketball IQ. (NBA Basketball Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the head coach of the 1959 NBA Champion Boston Celtics? (NBA Champion Coaches)
1959 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
1960 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the head coach of the 1969NBA Champion Boston Celtics? (NBA Champion Coaches)
1959 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
1960 NBA Champions Boston Celtics Red Auerbach took the Boston Celtics on a hike to climb a mountain just before the 1960 NBA Finals … He wanted them to have a higher basketball IQ. (NBA Basketball Jokes)
1961 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
1961 NBA Champions Boston Celtics Red Auerbach took the Boston Celtics on a hike to climb a mountain just before the 1961 NBA Finals … He wanted them to have a higher basketball IQ. (NBA Basketball Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the head coach of the 1961 NBA Champion Boston Celtics? (NBA Champion Coaches)
1959 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
1962 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
1962 NBA Champions Boston Celtics Red Auerbach took the Boston Celtics on a hike to climb a mountain just before the 1962 NBA Finals … He wanted them to have a higher basketball IQ. (NBA Basketball Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the head coach of the 1962 NBA Champion Boston Celtics? (NBA Champion Coaches)
1959 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
1963 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
1963 NBA Champions Boston Celtics Red Auerbach took the Boston Celtics on a hike to climb a mountain just before the 1963 NBA Finals … He wanted them to have a higher basketball IQ. (NBA Basketball Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the head coach of the 1963 NBA Champion Boston Celtics? (NBA Champion Coaches)
1964 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
1964 NBA Champions Boston Celtics Red Auerbach took the Boston Celtics on a hike to climb a mountain just before the 1964 NBA Finals … He wanted them to have a higher basketball IQ. (NBA Basketball Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the head coach of the 1964 NBA Champion Boston Celtics? (NBA Champion Coaches)
1965 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
Jaylen Brown & Jayson Tatum on Olympic Coach Steve Kerr?… Hate ‘Em.
1965 NBA Champions Boston Celtics Red Auerbach took the Boston Celtics on a hike to climb a mountain just before the 1965 NBA Finals … He wanted them to have a higher basketball IQ. (NBA Basketball Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the head coach of the 1965 NBA Champion Boston Celtics? (NBA Champion Coaches)
1966 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
1966 NBA Champions Boston Celtics Red Auerbach took the Boston Celtics on a hike to climb a mountain just before the 1966 NBA Finals … He wanted them to have a higher basketball IQ. (NBA Basketball Jokes)
Bill Russell Celtic Legend… No Joke.
Larry Bird Celtic Legend… No Joke.
Paul Pierce Celtic Legend… No Joke.
Bob Cousy Celtic Legend… No Joke.
John Havlicek Celtic Legend… No Joke.
Kevin McHale Celtic Legend… No Joke.
Sam Jones Celtic Legend… No Joke.
Dave Cowens Celtic Legend… No Joke.
Robert Parrish Celtic Legend… No Joke.
Tom Heinsohn Celtic Legend… No Joke.
Kevin Garnett Celtic Legend… No Joke.
Jayson Tatum Celtic Legend… No Joke.
Dennis Johnson Celtic Legend… No Joke.
JoJo White Celtic Legend… No Joke.
Ray Allen Celtic Legend… No Joke.
Rajon Rondo Celtic Legend… No Joke.
Bill Sharman Celtic Legend… No Joke.
Tom Sanders Celtic Legend… No Joke.
KC Jones Celtic Legend… No Joke.
Don Nelson Celtic Legend… No Joke.
Cedric Maxwell Celtic Legend… No Joke.
Danny Ainge Celtic Legend… No Joke.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the head coach of the 1966 NBA Champion Boston Celtics? (NBA Champion Coaches)
1968 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
1968 NBA Champions Boston Celtics Bill Russell took the Boston Celtics on a hike to climb a mountain just before the 1968 NBA Finals … He wanted them to have a higher basketball IQ. (NBA Basketball Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the head coach of the 1968 NBA Champion Boston Celtics? (NBA Champion Coaches)
1969 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
1969 NBA Champions Boston Celtics Bill Russell took the Boston Celtics on a hike to climb a mountain just before the 1969 NBA Finals … He wanted them to have a higher basketball IQ. (NBA Basketball Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the head coach of the 1969 NBA Champion Boston Celtics? (NBA Champion Coaches)
1974 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
1974 NBA Champions Boston Celtics Tom Heinsohn took the Boston Celtics on a hike to climb a mountain just before the 1974 NBA Finals … He wanted them to have a higher basketball IQ. (NBA Basketball Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the head coach of the 1974 NBA Champion Boston Celtics? (NBA Champion Coaches)
1976 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
1976 NBA Champions Boston Celtics Tom Heinsohn took the Boston Celtics on a hike to climb a mountain just before the 1976 NBA Finals … He wanted them to have a higher basketball IQ. (NBA Basketball Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the head coach of the 1976 NBA Champion Boston Celtics? (NBA Champion Coaches)
1981 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
1981 NBA Champions Boston Celtics Bill Fitch took the Boston Celtics on a hike to climb a mountain just before the 1981 NBA Finals … He wanted them to have a higher basketball IQ. (NBA Basketball Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the head coach of the 1981 NBA Champion Boston Celtics? (NBA Champion Coaches)
1984 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
1984 NBA Champions Boston Celtics K.C. Jones took the Boston Celtics on a hike to climb a mountain just before the 1984 NBA Finals … He wanted them to have a higher basketball IQ. (NBA Basketball Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the head coach of the 1984 NBA Champion Boston Celtics? (NBA Champion Coaches)
1986 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the head coach of the 1986 NBA Champion Boston Celtics? (NBA Champion Coaches)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the head coach of the 2008 NBA Champion Boston Celtics? (NBA Champion Coaches)
2008 Celtics. NBA Champions… No Joke.
2024 NBA Finals: December 16, 1773: Boston Tea Party. June 17th, 2024: Boston Three Party. (American Revolution Jokes)
What time is it when the Red Sox are chasing the Celtics?… 9 after 5.
What time is it when the Celtics are chasing the Red Sox ?… 5 after 9.
What time is it when the Celtics are chasing the Bruins ?… 5 after 6.
What time is it when the Bruins are chasing the Celtics?… 6 after 5.
What time is it when the Revolution are chasing the Celtics?… 11 after 5.
What time is it when the Celtics are chasing the Revolution?… 5 after 11.
What time is it when the Celtics are chasing the Free Jacks?… 5 after 15.
What time is it when the Free Jacks are chasing the Celtics?… 15 after 5.

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