World Turtle Day Jokes

by | May 20, 2026 | Dads, Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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Google Search “World Turtle Day Jokes”

  1. May Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best turtle jokes.
  2. Fall Jokes: I’m not an animal rights activist or anything… but I think it is pretty messed up that there are sweaters from turtle necks. 
  3. Police Jokes: A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.” 
  4. How do you become the #1 page for turtle jokes?…  Very slowly. 
  5. A turtle walked into a restaurant but the owner grabbed it and threw it out… It came back 5 months later and yelled: get your hands off me! 
  6. Alaska Jokes: If the Ninja Turtles moved to Alaska… they’d live in Seward.
  7. Track & Field Jokes: To do list 1. Buy a turtle 2. Name it ‘The speed of light’ 3. Be able to honestly say I can run faster than the speed of light.   
  8. The World’s Best Basketball Jokes: What is a turtle’s favorite basketball drill for defense?… The shell drill. 
  9. Blizzard Jokes: Where does a turtle go when during a blizzard?… A shell-ter.
  10. World Turtle Day Jokes: What does a turtle do on May 23rd, World Turtle Day?… It shellebrates! 
  11. What do you call a turtle who loves photography?… A snapping turtle. 
  12. I’m looking for a book about turtles… I think it is a hard back.
  13. What happens when you bring a turtle to a World Turtle Day party?… It becomes a shellebration. 
  14. Indy 500 Jokes: What was the snapping turtle doing at the Indianapolis 500?… About 1 mile per hour.  
  15. How do you make a turtle fast?… Don’t feed it! 
  16. I was a turtle in my past life… It’s slowly coming back to me. 
  17. What is a turtle’s favorite song?… Gimme Shell ter by the Rolling Stones!
  18. I used to have a teacher called Mrs. Turtle… Strange looking woman but she #tortoise well. 
  19. What do you get if cross a #Turtle with a #Giraffe?… A Turtle-Neck! 
  20. My uncle died from a turtle stampede… It was a slow death. 
  21. What #college #sports team do #turtles cheer for?… #Maryland #Terrapins.  
  22. What was the snapping turtle doing on the highway?… About 1 mile per hour!  #turtles
  23. My pet turtle died. I’m not upset… just shell-shocked. 
  24. What do #turtles use to communicate?… A shellphone! 
  25.  What do you call a truck-load of #tortoises crashing into a train-load of #terrapins?… a turtle disaster. 
  26. Did you hear about the self-help book written by a turtle?… It was a New York Times’ Best Sheller! 
  27. The gun fight between the #turtles and #tortoises was barbaric!… Empty shells everywhere. 
  28. I got invited to a #costume #party, so I went as a turtle… I had a shell of a time. 
  29. If a turtle loses it’s shell is it naked or #homeless? 
  30. My friend and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday… It #tortoise nothing. 
  31. What kind of #photos does a turtle take?… Shellfies. 
  32. What happens when your #kids want to buy a #tortoise?… You shell out a lot of #money. 
  33. Where does a turtle go during a #blizzard?… A shell-ter.  
  34. Why did the turtle go to AT&T… because he couldn’t sprint. 
  35. Did you know turtles have the ability to understand #puns?… I wish they would have tortoise that in school. 
  36. What do you call a turtle #chef?… A slow- cooker. 
  37. What do you get when you cross a turtle and a porcupine?… a slow-poke. 
  38. I don’t let my pet turtle watch #TV… I guess you can call it sheltered.  #turtles #WorldTurtleDay
  39. What kind of jokes do #turtles tell?… Shell-larious ones.  #turtle #WorldTurtleDay
  40. What do you call a famous #turtle, like @AlbertTortoise?… A shellebrity.  #turtles #WorldTurtleDay
  41. A big grey elephant was drinking out of a river when he saw a snapping turtle lying asleep on a log. The elephant walks up to the turtle and kicks it over the river to the other side. “Why did you do that?” asked a nearby beaver. “I remember that this little thing took a bite out of me 50 years ago,” exclaimed the elephant. “Wowsers, that is some memory!” said the beaver. “Indeed,” said the elephant. “Turtle recall.”
  42. What’s a turtle’s favorite sandwich?… Seanut butter and jelly-fish.y
  43. What do sea turtles use for #money?… Sand dollars.
  44. My favorite teacher at school was Mrs. Turtle… Strange name, but she #tortoise well. 
  45. Where do you send turtles who #commit crimes?… To the shell-block. 
  46. Why did the turtle cross the main road?… To get to the Shell station. He was #running on empty! 
  47. What did the #snail say when it was riding on the turtle’s back?… Weeeeeee! 
  48. Did you know that sea turtles can also squirt #ink?… Just Squidding! 
  49. What do you get if you cross a #turtle with a #giraffe and a #kangaroo?… A turtle neck jumper. 
  50. How did the turtle beat the hare?… It used a razor. 

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