Veterans Day Jokes

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Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Veterans Day jokes.
Why are there no knock knock jokes about American veterans?… Because freedom rings!
What’s a veteran’s favorite time of day?… 11:11. Always time to remember.
Flag Day Jokes: What did one American flag say to the other flag on Veterans Day?… Nothing. It just waved!
What’s the veteran’s favorite song lyric?… “I’m proud to be an American!”
College Basketball Jokes: What’s a veteran’s favorite sport?… March Madness.
Sandwich Jokes: What is the #1 sandwich on Veterans Day?… A HERO sandwich.
March Jokes: What should have been the day we chose to celebrate World Military Day?… March Forth!
Pie Jokes: What’s a Marine veteran’s favorite dessert?… Semper pie.
What is a veteran’s least favorite month?… March!
What’s the WWII veteran’s name?… Norman D.
Book Jokes: A Great American Book Never Written: “The Parts of the National Anthem” by Homer D. Brave.
Book Jokes: Best War of 1812 Book Never Written:… “The Star- Spangled Banner” by Jose Kanusee.
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Grate… Grate who?… Grate-ful for our veterans!
What’s a veteran’s favorite quote?… “Service never ends. it just changes uniforms.”
Where did the retired General put his armies?… In his sleevies. (get it his sleeves)?
Black Friday Jokes: What’s the slogan of a clothing store that only sells to veterans?… No service, no shirt, no shoes.
Flag Day Jokes: Teacher: Johnny, what are the last words of “The Star-Spangled Banner”?… Student:“Play ball”?
Navy Jokes: Why did David Robinson get arrested on Veterans Day?… He shot the basketball.
Sandwich Jokes: What’s a veteran’s favorite lunch?… Hero sandwiches.
When I grow up I want to be a veterinarian then go into the army, and become a veteran so I can become…A Vet Vet.
Music Jokes: I went to a football game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, “You know, technically, national anthems are just… country music.”
I asked my veteran friend what the first ranking is in the military, but I couldn’t get a straight answer… He just kept telling me it’s private.
Golf Jokes: Why do WWI veterans dislike golf?… They always end up in the bunker.
Why did the veteran bring tissues to the parade?… Even warriors tear up sometimes.
A high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II… Since my grandfather had served during the war, I chose him. After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, “Did you ever kill anyone?”He got quiet. Then, in a soft voice, he said, “Probably. I was the cook.”
November Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the nickname of David Robinson who played for the Naval Academy? (The Admiral)
Music Jokes: What music does a decorated veteran listen to?… Heavy Medal.
My Grandpa who is a veteran had a heart of a lion… Which is why he is banned from every zoo.
How do you clear out a veterans bingo hall?… B 52.
What do yo call a veteran who sleeps in a bathroom stall?… A loo-tenant.
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the treaty that ended the World War I?
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock…. Who’s there?… Orange… Orange who?… Orange you glad you live in America protected by the greatest military in the world.
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Red…Red who?… Red, white, and blue, we thank you!
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock…. Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys who?… Gladys Veterans Day.
What’s a veteran’s favorite bedtime story?… The one that ends with peace.
A veteran’s son asks him “Dad, did you get shot in the army?” The dad replies, “Nope! But I got shot in the leggy.”
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… America… America who?… America the beautiful, because of the brave!
I became a chef after I left the army… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran.
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the history of Veterans Day?
Basketball Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the NBA basketball player who went to the Naval Academy and is nicknamed The Admiral? (David Robinson)
Why did the veteran stand quietly at the memorial?… Respect speaks louder than words.
What’s a veteran’s favorite motto?… Laugh loud. Live proud.
What’s a veteran’s favorite phrase?… “At ease… and enjoy life.”
What’s the veteran’s favorite dance move?… The March Step.
What’s a veteran’s favorite parade tradition?… Waving until the crowd waves back.
Dog Jokes: Why wouldn’t the dog attend the Veterans Day Parade?… There were too many vets.
Dog Jokes: I asked my veteran grandfather what’s the most disrespectful question that you can ask a vet?… “Why didn’t you become a real doctor?”
What do hungry Navy veterans eat?… SUB sandwiches!
What’s a parade without veterans?… Just a walk.
What do hungry Navy veterans eat?… SUBWAY sandwiches!
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the history of Armistice Day?
Why did the veteran love libraries?… Quiet discipline and strong stories.
A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. What type of veteran is he?… A seasoned veteran.
Music Jokes: What’s a veteran’s favorite instrument?… The freedom bell.
Music Jokes: Why did the trumpet player get emotional?… Taps always hits home.
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the history of Veterans Day?
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the history of Armistice Day?
Why did the veteran volunteer again?… Once you serve, you always serve.
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the date of Armistice Day?
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the date of Veterans Day?
What’s the most popular Veterans Day saying?… “Thank you for your service!”
Tea Jokes: What does an American WWII veteran say when you ask him if he wants some tea?… Sherman tanks!
My Papa was a World War II Navy veteran and he used to boast about how he saved 300+ sailors from dying from an excruciating death… He shot the cook.
Basketball Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the NBA basketball player who went to the Naval Academy and is nicknamed The Admiral? (David Robinson)
What’s a veteran’s favorite car?… A Ford of Duty.
What’s a veteran’s favorite color?… Red, white, and every shade of blue.
Basketball Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Freedom… Freedom who?… Freedom isn’t free, thank a veteran
Teacher: “250+ years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student: “ Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!”
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the date of Armistice Day?
Pie Jokes: What’s a veteran’s favorite dessert?… Pride pie. Served with honor.
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the date of Veterans Day?
What is an Air Force veteran’s favorite 1980s band?… The B-52s.
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name all the treaty that ended the World War II?
Why did the Marine bring coffee to the Veterans Day ceremony?… To salute with energy.
Why did the vet wear his medals?… Every ribbon tells a story worth smiling about.
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name all the treaty that end the Vietnam War?
What award did Al Pacino get for playing a really angry veteran?… Mad Al of Honor.
Why did the veteran’s heart stay strong?… Because it still beats for freedom.
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the current Commander-in-Chief?
Why did the officer bring a microphone to the Veterans Day ceremony?… To amplify appreciation.
Why did the veteran love his new cane?… It helped him march again. Slowly but proudly.
What do you call someone who joined the military out of spite?… A PETTY officer!
What did the commander say to his troops?… March 4th!
What do you call a really high ranking snack at the Army – Navy Basketball game?… A popcorn colonel.
What’s a vet’s favorite breakfast?… Eggs and appreciation.
Why don’t skeletons go to the Veterans Day parade?… Because they don’t have anybody to go with.
What’s the best part about Veterans Day?… The memories and the jokes.
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Honor… Honor who?… Honor our veterans today!
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock…Who’s there?… Sol.… Sol who?… Sol-dier, thank you for your service!
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Pat… Pat who?… Pat-riotic citizens thank our troops!
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Thank… Thank who?… Thank you for your service!
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Salute… Salute who?… Salute our heroes!
What’s a veteran’s favorite sound after a long day?… Silence that was earned.
What’s a veteran’s favorite place?… Anywhere with family and a folded flag.
Why did the Army vet sit in the front row?… Still leading from the front.
What’s a veteran’s favorite plant?… Peace lilies. They’ve seen enough action.
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock…. Who’s there?… Justin… Justin who?… Justin time to thank a veteran!
Why did the veteran smile at the kids’ parade?… That’s the next generation of courage.
Why did the Airman laugh at the Veterans Day parade?… He loved high-flying jokes.
What’s a veteran’s favorite drink?… Freedom brew – strong and proud.
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Hero… Hero who?… Hero-ic veterans, we appreciate you!
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name all the branches of the US Military?
Knock Knock Jokes for Veterans Day: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Star… Star who?… Star-spangled heroes!
How do cannibals prefer veterans?… Seasoned.
What’s the best way to honor a veteran?… Listen, laugh, and thank them.
Why does the military have a strict dress code for ceremonies and events?… Civilian CASUAL TEES are not acceptable.
Why did the waiter get a veterans discount… Because he SERVED our country.
What’s a veteran’s favorite song?… Born to Stand Free.
What’s a veteran’s favorite candle scent?… Freedom breeze.
Why did the veteran visit his old base?… To see where pride was built.
What’s a veteran’s favorite parade sound?… A good marching band and louder thank-yous.
Why did the flag look proud?… It was flying first class today.
Why did the veteran bring his dog to the ceremony?… It’s his service companion and audience.
Why did the veteran give a speech at the parade?… Because words are also service.
Why did the veteran bring a notebook?… To write down every “thank you.”
What did the veteran say at breakfast?… “One nation, under caffeine.”
Why did the veteran start a podcast?… “Service and Smiles.”
Why did the veteran visit the local school?… To teach courage by example.
Why did the veteran bring a map to the parade?… To find his marching memories.
Why did the soldier smile at his medals?… They never stopped shining back.
What’s a veteran’s favorite weather?… Clear skies with a 100% chance of gratitude.
Why did the veteran march with the band?… He had perfect cadence – and timing.
Why did the veteran carry a broom?… To sweep everyone off their feet.
Why did the veteran wear boots to church?… Old habits die proud.
What’s the best way to make a veteran laugh?… Salute first, joke second.
Why did the veteran volunteer at the park?… He missed doing service.
What’s a veteran’s favorite movie genre?… Action with a happy ending.
What’s a veteran’s favorite app?… GratitudeGram.
Why did the old sergeant carry a flag?… Because pride never retires.
Why did the veteran carry an umbrella?… He’s ready for any weather – even applause.
Why did the parade announcer laugh?… He saluted the punchline before it arrived.
Why did the flag smile on Veterans Day?… It saw all its heroes again.
What’s a veteran’s favorite parade snack?… Pride corn.
What’s a veteran’s favorite seat at the parade?… Anywhere with a view of the flag.
Why did the veteran march twice?… Couldn’t resist muscle memory.
What’s a veteran’s favorite sound?… Boots in rhythm.
Why did the kids wave extra hard?…To outshine the confetti.
What’s a veteran’s favorite kind of joke?… One that salutes first, laughs later.
Why did the flagpole blush?… It got so many salutes.
Why did the veteran’s family laugh every Veterans Day?… He still gave orders during dinner.
What’s a veteran’s favorite parade float?… The one full of gratitude.
Why did the Marine bring popcorn?… To enjoy the marching movies in real life.
Why did the veteran dance with the flag?… Old glory, new moves.
Why did the crowd stand early?… They couldn’t sit through that much pride.
What’s a veteran’s favorite day of the week?… Whichever one says “thank you.”
Why did the flag love the wind?… It’s how freedom breathes.
What’s a veteran’s favorite kind of humor?… Discharged jokes.
What’s a veteran’s favorite parade chant?… “Hoorah for laughter!”
Why did the veteran join the gym?… To keep his salute sharp.
Why did the old general bring binoculars?… Still likes to see the big picture.
What’s a veteran’s least favorite noise?… Someone forgetting the date.
Why did the crowd laugh during the speech?… The veteran’s timing was military perfect.
What’s a veteran’s favorite hobby?… Polishing medals and punchlines.
Why did the veteran love fishing?… It’s like patience training, civilian edition.
Why did the old Marine bring a whistle?… To keep order during applause.
Why did the veteran bake cookies?… To serve one more time.
Did you know there is a Hungry Hippo that was a US Military Veteran?… He fought in VietNOM-NOM-NOM-NOM-NOM.
A group of veterans decided to put out a cover of an Aretha Franklin song They’re calling it RESPTSD .
What’s a veteran’s favorite TV channel?… The History of Humor Network.
Why did the veteran wear his old hat?… Because pride fits forever.
Why did the vet refuse to slow down?… He’s been in motion since boot camp.
Why did the veteran wave twice?… He never forgets to salute.
What’s a veteran’s favorite phone wallpaper?… The flag he served under.
What’s a veteran’s favorite game?… Operation – he always wins.
Why did the veteran keep smiling?… Because gratitude’s contagious.
Why did the veteran carry a flag pin?… Because pride is wearable.
Why did the veteran laugh during a salute?… Old reflexes never die — they just smile.
What’s the best way to make a veteran laugh?… Tell a joke – then stand tall.
Why did the veteran write a thank-you note to his drill sergeant?… Because humor came from there too.
Why did the veteran buy a rocking chair?… Marching in place, retired edition.
What’s a veteran’s favorite magic trick?… Turning courage into calm.
The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier: “I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.” “Thank you very much, sir.”
A Sergeant addressed a squad of 25: “I have an easy job for the laziest man here. Put up your hand if you are the laziest.” When 24 men raised their hands, the Sergeant asked the other man: “Why didn’t you raise your hand?” he replied: “Too much trouble raising the hand, Sir.”
During training exercises, the Lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced Colonel at the wheel. “Your car stuck, sir?” asked the Lieutenant. “Nope,” replied the colonel, coming over, handing him the keys.“Yours is.”
A Drill Sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet & said: “I guess when I die you’ll come & dance on my grave.” Cadet replied: “Not me, Sarge! “I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I’d never stand in another line.”
The annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the 2nd year, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. Soldier: “Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn’t care how well we can shoot, but they are very interested in how fast we can run?”
What do you call a really high ranking snack?… A popcorn colonel.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?… He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
Have you heard about the#karate champion who joined the marines?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself!
How is a bag of popcorn like an army?… It has lots of kernels.
The company commander and the sergeant were in the field. As they go to bed for the night, the first sergeant said: “Sir, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?” The commander said: “I see millions of stars.” Sgt: “And what does that tell you, sir?” “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Top?” Sgt: “Well sir, it tells me that somebody stole our tent.”
How did George Washington speak to during his 1st presidential Inauguration?…. In general terms.
Did you hear about the popcorn that joined the army?… They made him a kernel.
Did you hear about the tree who deserted the forest at the end of fall… He was absent without leaves!
There was a bad accident at the Air Force base… A jeep ran over a bag of popcorn and killed two kernels.
What do you call a group of kids who enlists in the military?… The INFANTry!
Why do optometrists set their clocks to military time?…They want their patients to see 20:20!
Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces?… For the chance to gain some experience in the service.
Why didn’t the troop tell anyone about their rank in the military?… It was “private.”
A recruiter asks an octopus if he wants to join the Army… The octopus says no thanks I’m army enough as it is.
What do you call a training sergeant who’s very kind and respectful?… A drill serGENTLEMEN!
What did the army captain say to his hockey team?… Forwards… skate!
An octopus went off to war… It’s a good thing that he was well-armed.
George Washington Jokes: What was General Washington’s favorite tree?…The infan-tree!
George Washington Jokes: Where did the General Washington put his armies?… In his sleevies.
Teacher “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student “ Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!”
What did King George think of the American colonists?… He thought they were revolting!
George Washington Jokes: What did King George think of George Washington?… He thought he was revolting!
American Revolution Jokes: What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?… The Americans licked the British.
American Revolution Jokes: What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?… The Battle of Bonkers Hill.
American Revolution Jokes: What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?… Tea-shirts.
American Revolution Jokes: What was the Patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War? … Chicken Catch-a-Tory!
What’s red, white and blue?… Our flag, of course. And a sad candy cane!
American Revolution Jokes: Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?… Because the horse was too heavy to carry!
Basketball Jokes for Veterans Day:
How is a bag of popcorn at a basketball game like an army?… It has lots of kernels.
A Veterans Day Joke: If Donald Trump refuses to leave the White House… They should just rename it Viet Nam and see how fast he leaves.

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