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Google Search “Star Trek Jokes”
- September Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Star Trek jokes.
- Looney Tunes Jokes: What did Bugs Bunny say after beaming aboard the Enterprise?… What’s up Spock?
- Mardi Gras Jokes: How did Captain Kirk celebrate Mardi Gras on the Enterprise?… “Bead me up, Scotty!”
- Where do you keep your badge at a Star Trek convention?… On a Lanyard Nimoy.
- Hurricane Jokes: What is Captain Kirk’s favorite hurricane of all-time?… Hurricane Kirk.
- I used to confuse Star Wars with Star Trek… It was a Wookie mistake.
- Shark Jokes: What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?… Shark Trek!
- I like Star Trek… …But it has its pros and Khans!
- I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention disguised as a Doctor. The Security Guard suspected I was not the Real McCoy.
- Christmas Tree Jokes: What was the Christmas tree’s favorite thing about Star Trek?… The Captain’s log.
- Frog Jokes: What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage?… A croaking device.
- Why don’t the Borg go to prison?… Because they obey the Lore!
- Fast Food Jokes: Where do the Borg eat fast food?… At their local Borger King!
- Why did the Borg cross the road?… Because it assimilated the chicken!
- Have you heard the new Klingon army motto?… Join the Klingon army. Visit exotic planets, meet interesting people, and kill them!
- No one in the Star Trek universe knows how to tie a neck tie… They’re all use to Klingons.
- What are eyeglasses called on Vulcan?… Spocktacles
- Biology Jokes: Why was Star Trek so successful?… It had good Genes.
- Biology Jokes: How many ears does Picard have?… Three. A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear.
- Coffee Jokes: What is Captain Picard’s biggest pet peeve? … When the crew replaces his dilithium crystals with Folgers crystals.
- Track & Field Jokes: What do you call it when that Strategic Operations Officer on DS9 runs as fast as he can?… Worf Speed.
- My wife said that she would divorce me if I kept quoting Star Trek. So I said, “Number Two, make it so!”
- Marriage Jokes: Did you hear that the crew of the Enterprise is getting married?… They have engaged the Borg.
- How many Romulans does it take to screw in a light bulb?… ONE HUNDRED FIFTY_ONE: One to screw the light bulb in, and 150 to self-destruct the ship out of disgrace.
- How many Vulcans does it take to screw in a light bulb?… Approximately 1.00000000000000000000000000000000
- How many Borg does it take to change a light-bulb?… All of them!
- How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?… TWO: One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all of the credit.
- The Kzinti had captured a Medusan, but since Medusans are energy beings, they had trouble deciding how to eat him. The Kzinti captain had the last word. He said they should use lots of sugar, because, “everyone knows a spoonful of sugar helps the Medusan go down.”
- For Star Wars and Star Trek fans: A stormtrooper and a red shirt are in a room. The stormtrooper shoots the red shirt, but misses every shot. The red shirt dies anyway.
- Big slice on a golf course: “that ball was like Star Trek Voyager … way off course.”
- Why did the Klingon cross the road?… To conquer the other side.
- I can’t decide if I want to watch the original Star Trek of The Next Generation… I guess you could say I’m stuck between a Spock and a Picard place!
- How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?… NONE: Klingons aren’t afraid of the dark.
- What do the Klingons do with the dead bulb?… Execute it for failure.
- What is Commander Rikers favorite hobby?… Sewing, because the captain says “Make it so”.
- What do the Klingons do with the Klingon who replaces the bulb?… Execute him for cowardice.
- Book Jokes: Have you read the book “The Positronic Brain”?… It’s by: Anne Droid
- Book Jokes: Have you read the book “Chekov: The Navigator”?… It’s by: I. Kiptin
- What did one Borg say to one another right before their ship was destroyed in sector zero zero one?… Hoisted by our own Picard.
- I had to break up with my girlfriend, she doesn’t like Star Trek… I told her I need some space.
- Did you hear about the new uniform making machine on the Enterprise?… Piccard told Riker to “Make it sew, Number One.”
- Captain Kirk: “Since all of you crewmembers performed so inefficiently today, there’ll be no liberty at Starbase Seven.” Voice: “Give me liberty or give me death!” Kirk: “Who said that?” Voice: “Patrick Henry.”
- A young man was applying to join Starfleet: “Where were you born?” asked the recruiting officer. “Earth, sir.” “What part?” “All of me, sir.”
- How many ears does Spock have?… three, left, right and final front ear
- I just spent $100 on a limited edition DVD of Star Trek 2… Turns out the seller was a Kahn man.
- Tree Jokes: How do you get a one-armed Klingon out of a tree?… Wave to him.
- What did the first officer answer when Picard asked “Why did you let Troi win at poker?” “Because I Riker.”
- Why can’t Klingon kids play in sandboxes?… Cats keep trying to cover them up.
- What did Worf say when small ice asteroids began hitting the Enterprise hull?… “Captain, we are being hailed.”