101 Star Trek Jokes

by | Sep 8, 2026 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

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  1. September Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Star Trek jokes.
  2. Looney Tunes Jokes: What did Bugs Bunny say after beaming aboard the Enterprise?… What’s up Spock?
  3. Mardi Gras Jokes: How did Captain Kirk celebrate Mardi Gras on the Enterprise?… “Bead me up, Scotty!”
  4. Hurricane Jokes: What is Captain Kirk’s favorite hurricane of all-time?… Hurricane Kirk.
  5. Shark Jokes: What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?… Shark Trek! 
  6. Christmas Tree Jokes: What was the Christmas tree’s favorite thing about Star Trek?… The Captain’s log.
  7. Frog Jokes: What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage?…  A croaking device. 
  8. Why don’t the Borg go to prison?…  Because they obey the Lore! 
  9. Why did the Borg cross the road?… Because it assimilated the chicken! 
  10. Have you heard the new Klingon army motto?… Join the Klingon army. Visit exotic planets, meet interesting people, and kill them! 
  11. Fast Food Jokes: Where do the Borg eat fast food?… At their local Borger King! 
  12. Biology Jokes: Why was Star Trek so successful?… It had good Genes. 
  13. Biology Jokes: How many ears does Picard have?…  Three. A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear. 
  14. Coffee Jokes: What is Captain Picard’s biggest pet peeve? … When the crew replaces his dilithium crystals with Folgers crystals. 
  15. Track & Field Jokes: What do you call it when that Strategic Operations Officer on DS9 runs as fast as he can?… Worf Speed. 
  16. Marriage Jokes: Did you hear that the crew of the Enterprise is getting married?…  They have engaged the Borg.
  17. How many Romulans does it take to screw in a light bulb?… ONE HUNDRED FIFTY_ONE: One to screw the light bulb in, and 150 to self-destruct the ship out of disgrace. 
  18. How many Vulcans does it take to screw in a light bulb?…  Approximately 1.00000000000000000000000000000000 
  19. How many Borg does it take to change a light-bulb?…  All of them! 
  20. How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?  TWO: One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all of the credit. 
  21. How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?  NONE: Klingons aren’t afraid of the dark. 
  22. What do the Klingons do with the dead bulb?…  Execute it for failure. 
  23. What is Commander Rikers favorite hobby?…  Sewing, because the captain says “Make it so”. 
  24. What do the Klingons do with the Klingon who replaces the bulb?… Execute him for cowardice. 
  25. Book Jokes: Have you read the book “The Positronic Brain”?…  It’s by: Anne Droid 
  26. Book Jokes: Have you read the book “Chekov: The Navigator”?… It’s by: I. Kiptin 
  27. What did one Borg say to one another right before their ship was destroyed in sector zero zero one?…  Hoisted by our own Picard. 
  28. Did you hear about the new uniform making machine on the Enterprise?…  Piccard told Riker to “Make it sew, Number One.” 
  29. Tree Jokes: How do you get a one-armed Klingon out of a tree?… Wave to him. 
  30. What did the first officer answer when Picard asked “Why did you let Troi win at poker?”  “Because I Riker.” 
  31. What is Thomas Riker’s dating philosophy?…  “If at first you don’t succeed, try Troi again.” 
  32. Why can’t Klingon kids play in sandboxes?…  Cats keep trying to cover them up. 
  33. What did Worf say when small ice asteroids began hitting the Enterprise hull?…  “Captain, we are being hailed.” 
  34. Did you hear about the Federation weapons expert?…  He never forgets a phaser. 
  35. What are eyeglasses called on Vulcan?… Spocktacles 
  36. Why did the Klingon cross the road?… To conquer the other side.
  37. For Star Wars and Star Trek fans: A stormtrooper and a red shirt are in a room. The stormtrooper shoots the red shirt, but misses every shot. The red shirt dies anyway. 
  38. No one in the Star Trek universe knows how to tie a neck tie… They’re all use to Klingons.
  39. I had to break up with my girlfriend, she doesn’t like Star Trek… I told her I need some space.
  40. Whaddya use to decide whether to host a Star Trek poetry event?… A list of prose in Khans.
  41. I just spent $100 on a limited edition DVD of Star Trek 2… Turns out the seller was a Kahn man
  42. I used to confuse Star Wars with Star Trek… It was a Wookie mistake. 
  43. Where do you keep your badge at a Star Trek convention?… On a Lanyard Nimoy. 
  44. My wife said that she would divorce me if I kept quoting Star Trek. So I said, “Number Two, make it so!” 
  45. Have you heard about the new Star Trek Christmas movie?… It’s The Wreath of Khan. 
  46. My libertarian neighbor posted a newspaper ad selling his collection of Star Trek ships. And here I thought… he believed in free Enterprise. 
  47. I’m a bipolar Star Trek fan. I just went to the hospital to have my dilithium level checked. 
  48. I like Star Trek… …But it has its pros and Khans! 
  49. I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention disguised as a Doctor. The Security Guard suspected I was not the Real McCoy.
  50. How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?… TWO: One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all of the credit. 
  51. How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?… NONE: Klingons aren’t afraid of the dark.
  52. What do the Klingons do with the dead bulb?… Execute it for failure. 
  53. What do the Klingons do with the Klingon who replaces the bulb?… Execute him for cowardice.
  54. How many ears does Spock have?… three, left, right and final front ear 
  55. The Kzinti had captured a Medusan, but since Medusans are energy beings, they had trouble deciding how to eat him. The Kzinti captain had the last word. He said they should use lots of sugar, because, “everyone knows a spoonful of sugar helps the Medusan go down.” 
  56. A young man was applying to join Starfleet: “Where were you born?” asked the recruiting officer. “Earth, sir.” “What part?” “All of me, sir.” 
  57. Did you hear about the Federation weapons expert?… He never forgets a phaser. 
  58. Where does a ten-foot Mugato sleep?… Anywhere he wants to. 
  59. Why was Star Trek so successful?… It had good Genes. 
  60. Captain Kirk: “Since all of you crewmembers performed so inefficiently today, there’ll be no liberty at Starbase Seven.” Voice: “Give me liberty or give me death!” Kirk: “Who said that?” Voice: “Patrick Henry.” 
  61. “Did you shrink from battle?” asked Kirk. “No,” shrugged Balok, “I’ve always been this size.” 
  62. McCoy: “I’ve borrowed Mr. Scott’s bagpipes.” Kirk: “But you can’t play them.” McCoy: “While I’ve got them, neither can he!” 
  63. Lieutenant Kyle: “Dr. McCoy, I sleep all day, stay awake all night. I’m hot all the time and can’t stop dancing. And I see rings before my eyes! What’s wrong with me?” McCoy: “Sounds like Saturn Day Night Fever.” 
  64. Star Trek characters make the worst sports fans… They always root for the away team 
  65. What do all Star Trek captains have in common? They all have three ears. A left ear. A right ear. And a final frontier. 
  66.  A Star Trek fan meets William Shatner. “Wow. I can’t believe I’m meeting you at Comic Corn.” “Actually, it’s called Comic Con” “Com?” “Con.” “Cold?” “Com! “Cookie?” “CONNNNNNNN!”  
  67. Star Trek: Why did the chicken cross the road? Captain Kirk: “To boldly go where no chicken had gone before!” Spock: “At the time, it seemed the logical thing to do.” McCoy: “I’m a doctor, not a barnyard psychologist!” Scotty: “Because it could not change the laws o’ physics!” Computer: “Insufficient data.” 
  68. Star Trek fans always expect a gift when going to a convention They call it the… enter prize.  
  69. I accidentally went to Star Trek convention dressed as Chewbacca… It was a Wookie mistake.
  70. I can’t decide if I want to watch the original Star Trek of The Next Generation… I guess you could say I’m stuck between a Spock and a Picard place! 
  71. What did the orphan say to the Star Trek fan thinking of adopting?… Bring me up, Scotty! 
  72.  Big slice on a golf course: “that ball was like Star Trek Voyager … way off course.”  
  73. Most Star Trek fans aren’t big into poetry, so I knew that writing and publishing a book of Trek-themed poems would be risky but rewarding. The project had its prose and Khans.  
  74. For Star Trek fans: What did Scotty tell Kirk when The Enterprise flew over western England? “Thar be Wales here!”  
  75. When the 1st episode was shown. 
  76. Date of the final episode.
  77. Did you hear about the Captain of the Enterprise?… He had a one trek mind. 
  78. What do you call two officers having an argument?… Science Friction. 
  79. What is Commander Riker’s favorite hobby? Sewing, because Captain Picard is always saying “Make it so.” 
  80. Why did Riker die from friendly fire?… Because Picard ordered “Fire at Will.” 
  81. What are glasses called on planet Vulcan?… Spocktacles. 
  82. Did you hear Kirk reciting verse at Warp Speed?… It was poetry in motion. 
  83. Why did the Romulan cross the road? To conquer the other side. 
  84. How do you get a one-armed Klingon out of a tree? Wave to him. 
  85. Why did Worf change his  color? It was a good day to dye. 
  86. What did Scotty say when little shards of  began hitting the Enterprise? “Captain, we are being hailed.” 
  87. What  illness makes you red and itchy? Chicken Spocks. 
  88. What was the potato’s favorite sci-fi show? Starch Trek. 
  89. Where does a ten-foot Mugato ? Anywhere he wants to. 
  90. Why did the chicken cross the road? To boldly go where no chicken had gone before. 
  91. Did you hear about the Klingon plan to wrap the Enterprise in silver ? Luckily, the plan was foiled. 
  92. Why did Spock cross the road? Because it was logical. 
  93. What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?  Trek. 
  94. Why was Captain Picard so confused when the android disappeared? Because they’d lost their . 
  95. Why did the Enterprise have to go to the garage for repair? It needed new Spock plugs. 
  96. What’s it called when a crew member on Deep Space 9 runs as fast as he can? Worf Speed
  97. If Spock has pointy ears, what does Scotty have? Engineers.
  98. What was the tree’s favorite thing about Star Trek? The Captain’s log. 
  99. What does every Star Trek fan ask for from a mobile network? Unlimited Data. 
  100. What do you call a buff Trekkie at the gym? A flextra terrestrial.