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Google Search “College Graduation Jokes”
- Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best college graduation jokes in the WORLD!
- After 72 years since not completing her college course, my Grandma finally went back & earned her very first diploma……I asked her what will she be wearing for her graduation ceremony and she said depends.
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe I graduated from college on May June 13th?
- College is similar to high school… To a degree.
- It was college graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. “Let’s try to make this look natural “she said. “Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder.” The father answered, “If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?”
- Graduation was the first time that the school actually gave me something I wanted to read. – Melanie White
- I used to get into fights at the drop of a hat. Which is probably why I got fired from my job as a college graduation photographer.
- A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps & gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.
- A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.” “But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom – I’ll show you how.”
- College Graduation: the only time you can wear a cap and gown and not be questioned!
- College Graduation: where the tassel was worth the hassle!
- What do you get when you complete a college science class?… A graduated cylinder. (Chemistry Jokes)
- A not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science classroom, staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed: “Give four advantages of breast milk.” What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best: 1. No need to boil. 2. Never goes sour. 3. Available whenever necessary. So far so good – maybe. But the exam demanded a fourth answer. Again, what to write? Once more, he sighed. He frowned. He scowled, then sighed again. Suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly, he scribbled his definitive answer: 4. Available in attractive containers of varying sizes. He received an A.
- Physics Professor: “Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?” Student: “Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.”
- I bought photo frames for my college friends as a gift for the last day of school for only a dollar… It was a good buy.
- Kentucky Jokes: I was surprised when a friend said he’ll work at KFC right after college graduation.. Out of curiosity, I asked him why. All he said was, “It’s on my bucket list.”
- Why did the scarecrow become a successful college graduate?… Because he was outstanding in his field!
- Why did the college student eat his diploma?… He wanted a taste of success!
- What’s a college graduate’s favorite type of shoe?… Sneakers, because they’re always on the move!
- How do you know if someone’s a graduate student?… Don’t worry, they’ll tell you!
- Why did the college student bring a pencil to graduation?… To draw on their success!
- How does a college graduate stay cool?… By standing next to the fans!
- What did the college diploma say to the student?… “You’ve earned me, congratulations!”
- Why was the college graduation cap so good at math?… It was always counting on success!
- Why did the college graduate bring a ladder to the ceremony?… To reach new heights!
- What did the college student say when they finally graduated?… “Finally! Now I can start making cents!”
- Graduation Letters Dear Company President, Thank you for your letter of February 17th. After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your bank. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite Company 203’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation. I look forward to seeing you then. Sincerely, XXXXXXXX
- Why was the dean worried?… Because there were too many rulers in school!
- Why did the college students study in the airplane?…. Because they wanted higher grades.
- Why did the college student eat his homework?… Because his professor said it was a piece of cake.
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