California Jokes

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Super Bowl LX Jokes: 60 Super Bowl Jokes: California Knock Knock Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the location of Super Bowl XL?… Super Bowl LX will be played at Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara, California.
Super Bowl Jokes: Why did the Broncos wear white jerseys in Super Bowl 50?… Because it’s hard to catch a white Bronco in California.
Super Bowl LX Jokes: 60 Super Bowl Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the date of Super Bowl XL?… Super Bowl LX will be played on February 8, 2026.
The World’s Best Basketball Jokes: Basketball Pun: I’m not trying to Curry favor, but these basketball puns are Golden, State your opinion.
Music Jokes: Is Blue Jean by David Bowie an official song of Super Bowl LX?… Is it being played at Levi Stadium in Santa Monica, California.
Super Bowl XLIX: With the rematch of the New England Patriot and Seattle Seahawks, I was thinking about reliving the final Seahawks offensive play, but… like them I think I will pass.
Super Bowl LX Jokes: 60 Super Bowl Jokes: Divisional Round: Fantasy football…. San Fransisco fans thinking they can go into Seattle and win a divisional playoff game.
Super Bowl LX will be played at Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara, California… are our Super Bowl jokes wearing thin?
Super Bowl LX Jokes: 60 Super Bowl Jokes: Divisional Round: Fantasy football…. Chicago Bears fans thinking they can win a divisional round game against the LA Rams!
Stranger Things Jokes: Which city does 11 from Stranger Things hate?… Sandy Eggo!
Knock knockout?… Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe tell me why the Rose Bowl is called the Granddaddy of them all?
Super Bowl XLVIII: What did Purdy say to Brandon during the last play of the Super Bowl?… Aiyuk gonna catch this ball? If not, Samuel will!
Which 49ers player always gets the most dates?… Brock, he’s real Purdy!
What does Samuel shout to Purdy during every play of the game?… Pass me Dee-ball!
What’s the difference between O. J. Simpson and the losing Super Bowl team?… O. J. Simpson had a defense.
Super Bowl Jokes: Why did the Broncos wear white jerseys in Super Bowl 50?… Because it’s hard to catch a white bronco in California.
What did Christian say when he was tackled during the Super Bowl?… McCaff REALLY hurts!
Which 49ers player does Travis Kelce need to worry about stealing Taylor Swift’s affections?… Definitely number 13, Brock. He is Purdy!
Super Bowl LIII: I guess the Rams ended the Super Bowl the way they ended the season… 13-3.
Knock knockout?… Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe tell me who sponsors the Rose Bowl?
New England Jokes: Super Bowl LIII Halftime Score: At halftime it’s Maroon 5 Patriots 3 Rams 0!
Knock knockout?… Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe tell me where the Rose Bowl is played?
The number one song for Southern California tourism?… It never rains in Southern California.
What Red Hot chili peppers song is on Every California playlist?… Dani California.
Knock knockout?… Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe name the college football teams that compete for the Legends Trophy?
Knock knockout?… Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe name the college football teams that compete for the Jeweled Shillelagh?
Super Bowl XLVIII: What’s the difference between Super Bowl quarterback Brock Purdy and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap.
Stranger Things Jokes: Which city does 11 from Stranger Things hate?… Sandy Eggo!
Knock knockout?… Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe name the college football teams that compete in the Big Game?
Knock knockout?… Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe name the college football teams that compete in the Bill Walsh Legacy Game?
California Jokes: What do you call a waffle that’s been buried in sand? … Sandy Eggo!
Knock knockout?… Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe name the college football teams that compete in the Battle for the Valley?
Knock knockout?… Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe name the college football teams that compete in the Dick Tomey Legacy Game?
What do you call a map guide to Alcatraz?… A con-tour map. (Top Geography Jokes)
June 1st National Trails Day: I just made a pre-game playlist for basketball. It consists of Peanuts, Eminem, California Raisins and The Cranberries… I call it my Trail Mix. (California Jokes / Music Jokes / Hiking Jokes / Peanut Jokes)
Baseball Jokes: Why is it so windy at Candlestick Park?… Because of all the Giant Fans!
Lord of the Rings Jokes: Did you know that all of the Hobbit films were recorded in L.A.?… Yeah, you could tell by the Smaug.
What Doors song is on every California playlist?… L.A. Woman
Camping Jokes: Where did Tarzan go camping?… Hollywood and Vine.
Geography Jokes: What do you call a map guide to Alcatraz?… A con-tour map.
“California geologists aren’t perfect, they have their (San Andres) faults.”
What did the California say to the earthquake?… Hey, you crack me up!
Where do you dance in California?… San Fran – disco!
California Jokes: What do you call a waffle on the beach?… Sandy Eggo!
What is the nautical chart of the Pacific Ocean’s best pitch?… The depth curve. (Top Baseball Jokes)
What did the Pacific Ocean say to the California shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
Why did Cali phone ya (California)?… She called to say Hawhi ya (Hawaii)
What city has lots of sand?… Sand Francisco! (Beach Jokes for Kids)
California Geologists aren’t perfect, they have their San Adnreas faults. (Top Geography Jokes)
What did the California flag say to the American flag?… Nothing. It waved! (Top Flag Day Jokes)
If the LA Lakers were chasing the San Fransisco Giants, what time would it be?… Five after nine. (9:05) (Top Baseball Jokes & Top Basketball Jokes)
Why can fish measure distances so well?… Because they have their own scales.
What do Magic Johnson and a map key have in common?… Both are legends. (Top Geography Jokes)
Did you hear about the map of California that was mugged?… It was rolled by the map librarian. (Top Geography Jokes)
What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Sacramento River! (Top Geography Jokes)
Where do you find the Pacific Ocean without water?… On a map! (Top Geography Jokes)
What is a nautical chart’s best pitch?… The depth curve. (Top Baseball Jokes)
What is the tallest building in the California?… The Los Angeles Public Library of course, it has the most stories!
Why does the Joe Montana know all the map symbols?… Because he’s a legend.
What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The California Freeway Turnpike!
What’s in the middle of the Pacific (Ocean)?… Letter C (or E)! (Top Geography Jokes)
What do Steve Young and a map key have in common?… Both are legends. (Top Geography Jokes)
Teacher: Where were you born? Student: Hollywood. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in Hollywood! (Top Teacher Jokes)
What runs but never goes out of breath?… The San Joaquin River! (Top Geography Jokes)
If a plane crashed on the border of California and Oregon, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Top Geography Jokes)
If a plane crashed on the border of California and Nevada, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Top Geography Jokes)
If a plane crashed on the border of California and Arizona, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Top Geography Jokes)
Why don’t you see penguins Monteray Bay Aquarium in Great Britain?… Because they are afraid of Wales! (Top Geography Jokes)
Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the state motto for ?
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about ?
Geography Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe locate on a map?
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the governor of ?
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe spell ?
Travel Guest Blogs: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe visit ?
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me if has an MLB team ?
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me if has an NFL team?
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me if has an NHL team?
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me if has an NBA team?
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me if has an Major League Rugby?
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the state flower of ?
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the state bird of ?
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the two senators from ?
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the U.S. Representatives from ?
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have 100 jokes?
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have 101 jokes?
Marriage Jokes: When my wife left me when I was in a terrible state… .
Marriage Jokes: When my husband left me when I was in a terrible state… .
What did see. ?… Same thing Arkansas.
Election Jokes: Why is Bernie Sanders challenging his 49% vs 50% loss in Iowa?… I thought he didn’t care about the 1%?
Election Jokes: It’s so cold in this morning…on my way to work I walked passed the capitol and the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.
Marriage Jokes & Divorce Jokes: is leading in rates of both marital infidelity and depression… It’s a sad state of affairs.
When I was ten, my family moved to. . … When I was thirteen, I found them.
College Jokes: 2 college friends skip studying for Physics final to party. Two students were taking Physics at . They did pretty well on all of the other assessments. Going into the final, they had a solid “A.” These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the final was on Monday), they decided to go to and party with some friends at. . They had a great time, however, they overslept all day Sunday and didn’t make it back to campus until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found their professor after the final to explain to him why they missed the final. They told him that they went up to the for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back, and didn’t have a spare, and couldn’t get help for a long time, so they were late in getting back to campus. The professor thought this over and told them they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day for the final. The professor placed them in separate rooms, and handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, which was worth 5 points. It was something simple. “Cool,” they thought. “This is going to be easy.” They did that problem and then turned the page. They were not prepared, however, for what they saw on this page. It said: (95 Points). Which tire?
Mississippi Jokes: If Mississippi bought a New Jersey for , what would Delaware?…. Idaho, Alaska!
America hates us because America ain’t us.
Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in .
Election Jokes: We’re not sure who is dumber – the politicians or the voters.
Two tugboat captains who had been friends for years, would always cry “Aye!” and blow their whistles whenever they passed each other. A rookie crewman asked his boat’s mate, “What do they do that for?” The mate looked surprised and replied, “You mean that you’ve never heard of an aye for an aye and a toot for a toot?”
Labor Day Jokes: Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.”
Napping Jokes: A retired man from. was jailed for refusing to nap… …he was resisting a rest.
Over the summer, expected to break the hottest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as 118°F… NOT cool.
Over the winter, is expected to break the coldest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as -39°F… NOT cool.. FREEZING.
Can you name the capitol of ?… “R” and “I”
I’m absolutely disgusted with the state my life is in right now. I live in .
A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good joke. The bartender says, “Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I’m from . See that guy at the end of the bar? He’s 6-4 and weighs 250 and he’s from , too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He’s 6-6 and weighs 280 and he’s from , too! Now, do you still want to tell your joke?” The guy says, “Nah.” To which the bartender smiles and says, “What’s the matter? Are ya chicken?” The guy says, “Nah. I just don’t want to have to explain it three times.”
Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Resident: “No, not yet.”
What state does the flow in?… Liquid.
What state does the River NOT flow in?… Frozen.
Where do fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the .
What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. .
Why don’t hipsters like the River?… It’s too mainstream.
I threw a hipster into the River… Guess whose mainstream now?
A fully loaded tractor-trailer carrying 80,000 pounds of Tylenol skidded off an icy bridge, and ended up in the mighty River… It caused river failure.
Covid Jokes: Apparently, someone in gets stabbed every 52 seconds in .. poor guy.
In the news, had it’s first remote trial via zoom… It looks like things will be settled out of court.
Did you hear the joke about Mountains?… You won’t get over it.
A man from was arrested in for stealing a truck filled with $56,000 worth of Campbell’s soup…. I, for one, hope this guy goes away for ‘Mmm, mmm, good!’
Did you know that students in can drink in high school?… You can’t really stop them after they turn 21.
Cereal Jokes: Did you guys hear about that girl they found murdered in ?… They found her covered in milk with cheerios still in her mouth… They think it was a cereal killer.
Education/Testing scores are the worst in the nation… yep, we’re ranked 53rd.
College Jokes: How many University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?… None, it’s a sophomore course.
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
How many men from do you need before you can make change for a dollar?… You can’t. Nobody in. has any cents.
How do you get a man from to do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes.
Did you hear that sports teams from. don’t have a website?… They can’t string three “Ws” together.
Why can’t mountains play hide and seek?… Because they like to peak.
Music Jokes: A woman from who fell in love with the DJ from her first wedding day has married him five years later… she originally asked him three years ago, but he said he wasn’t taking requests just then.
Hello from the otter side.
Why won’t any of. ’s bicycles stand up by themselves?… They are two tired.
Did you hear about the power outage at the University of. library?… Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Golf Jokes: Why do golfers from. always carry around two pairs of pants?… In case he got a hole-in-one
Golf Jokes: Why do golfers from. always carry around two shirts?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
Golf Jokes: Why do golfers from. always carry around two pairs of socks?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
Golf Jokes: Why should you never buy golf equipment made in ?… Because New Jersey drivers are terrible.
Why do people from love sunrises?… Because it means the world has one more day to see how great. is.
What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Turnpike!
What is the tallest building in ?… Public Library of course, it has the most stories!
Why did disband its water polo team?… All the horses drowned.
Why is “The Wave” banned in Stadium?… Two fans drowned last year.
Divorce Jokes: Divorced couples in are having trouble deciding who gets the Marijuana… The judges have started issuing joint custody.
What do you call a dishonest cat at the Zoo?… Lion.
Top Teacher Jokes: The art teacher in always said, “Draw your own conclusions, but don’t color outside the lines!”
Top Teacher Jokes: Why do students excel in science?… Because they always experiment with their learning!
Top Teacher Jokes: The chemistry teacher in had a great reaction to student questions… they always ignited curiosity!
Top Teacher Jokes: The biology class in was so lively… it really had a cell-ebration going on!
College Basketball Jokes: I’m not saying basketball players are dumb, but the coach is dressing six players for this Saturdays game. The rest will dress themselves
state motto “Thank God for Mississippi.”
What do you call an. . football player with a championship ring?… A Thief.
How do you get an graduate off your porch?… Pay for the pizza.
What’s the most popular pick up line in ?… Nice tooth!

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