Top 50 September Jokes

by | Sep 17, 2026 | Dads, Latest News, School Jokes

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  1. September Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best September knock knock jokes for teachers.
    • September 1st: Election Jokes: Wizard of Oz Jokes: Instead of Traveling to Oz, the Tin Man, the Lion, and The Scarecrow should run for Congress… As they lack a heart, mind, and courage.  
    • What comes at the beginning of September?… S.
  2. September 2nd: How many seconds are there in one year?… 12 – January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, and December 2nd.
  3. Halloween Jokes: In September, you pick me when I’m good and ready. In October, you cut me intentionally to make me look worse. In November, you trash me like you never knew me. What am I?… A Jack-o-Lantern for Halloween.
  4. Doctor Jokes: The doctor has given me two months to live. I’ve chosen September and December because I like early fall but don’t want to miss Christmas.
  5. September 5th, 2026: International Bacon Day: Bacon Jokes: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer’s day?… I’m bacon!
  6. September 6th Read a Book Day: Book Jokes: What is Alaska’s official state Novel?… “Fifty Shades of Grey.“
  7. September 7th Labor Day: Farming Jokes: Happy Labor Day…. Oh wait… we live on a farm. Never mind!
  8. September 8th Star Trek Day: How many ears does Picard have?…  Three. A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear.
  9. September 9th 1850 California Jokes: The World’s Best Basketball Jokes: Basketball Pun: I’m not trying to Curry favor, but these basketball puns are Golden, State your opinion.
  10. August Jokes: Why did September break up with August?… Because their relationship grew colder.
  11. September 11th, 2001: #NEVERFORGET We do not have a joke for today!
  12. October Jokes: Why did October break up with September?… Because their relationship grew colder.
  13. September 13th, 2026 Grandparents Day: Grandparent Jokes: Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma. Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma… Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma. Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Aunt. Aunt who?… Aunt you glad Grandma’s gone?
  14. Teacher Jokes for September: Labor Day Jokes: I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my principal, my faculties, and my class.
  15. September 15th is National CamouflageDay! We hope we DO NOT SEE anyone celebrating today!
    • Canoe Jokes: Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe Oreo has a Nutcracker display at the supermarket on September 15th?
    • Canoe Jokes: Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe Christmas decorations are being put up at the supermarket on September 15th?
  16. August Jokes: Who came after Augustus?… Septembrus.
  17. September 17th: Constitution Day Jokes: How is a healthy person like the United States?… They both have good constitutions!
    • Constitution Jokes: I’m not sure I can tell you word-for-word what the 2nd Amendment is… But I’ll take a shot at it!
    • Constitution Jokes: What did the Constitution say to the Bill of Rights?… “You complete me!”
  18. September 18th: Ever since September 18 2020, The American Supreme Court has been Ruthless.
    • September 18th: National Cheeseburger Day: Cheeseburger Day Jokes: What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?…. Patty. Sergeant: “Private! I didn’t see you at camouflage training today!” Private: “Thank you, Sir!”
    • September 18th, 1947 the US Air Force was established. Air Force Jokes:
  19. September 19th: Talk Like a Pirate Day: Top Pirate Jokes: What is a pirate’s favorite letter?…. Most people think it’s the ‘R’rrrr, but really it’s the ‘C’ they love. (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week)
  20. Book Jokes: My father gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday… I couldn’t find the words to thank him.
  21. September 21st: National Pride Day should be September 21. September 22 is the first day of Autumn, and as everyone knows, Pride goes before a Fall.
  22. Why did the boy keep tripping on September 22?Because it was the beginning of fall.
  23. September 26, 2026,Full Corn Moon: Why aren’t there many jokes about September Full Moon?… Because they are corny.
  24. 1st Day of Fall:
  25. December Jokes: Don’t June know it’s September?… I can’t December.
  26. Pumpkin Jokes: In September, you pick me when I’m good and ready. In October, you cut me intentionally to make me look worse. In November, you trash me like you never knew me. What am I?… A Jack-o-Lantern for Halloween.
  27. Tree Jokes: What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber!
  28. Knock knock?… Who is there?… Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best September jokes.
  29. Jokes for the 1st Day of School: Teacher: Everybody hand in your homework, please. Students: Teacher, it’s the first day of school. We didn’t have any homework. Teacher: That’s right, and that’s the last excuse for not doing your homework that I’ll accept for the rest of the year.
  30. September Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, knock… Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Green Day song with September in the title?
  31. September Jokes:
  32. Jokes for the 1st Day of School: Mother: How did you find school on the 1st day today? Daughter: I just got off the bus and there it was!
  33. What did the leaves say at the end of August?… Rake me up when September ends.
  34. Why don’t mountain climbers like late September.?.. Because it’s “fall!”
  35. September Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, knock… Who is there?… Teddy… Teddy who?… Teddy is the 1st day of school!
  36. What do the leaves say before they hibernate?… Rake me up when September ends. What comes at the very end of September?The letter R!
  37. September 29th: Coffee Jokes: What’s fat, hairy, and drinks a lot of  coffee?… Java the Hut! (Top Star Wars Jokes)
  38. Grandparent Jokes: A CNN reporter was interviewing a 103 year-old great grandma “And what do you think is the best thing about being 103?” the reporter asked. She simply replied, “No peer pressure.” 
  39. What comes at the end of September?… R.
  40. Halloween Jokes:
  41. Labor Day Jokes: Did you hear the joke about Labor Day?… It doesn’t work for me!
  42. I don’t get why we have to know when the fall of Berlin was obviously Berlin has fall every year September to December.
  43. What comes at the start of September?… The letter S.
  44. Not sure what you have heard, but it actually only rains twice a year in Seattle. October through May, then June through September.
  45. Tree Jokes: What is a lumberjack’s favorite month?… Sep-timber!
  46. Tree Jokes: What is an aborist’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber!
  47. Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter?…  I’m nut telling you. You might spread it!
  49. What did the tree say to autumn?… Leaf me alone.
  50. What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect? Where were you on the night of September to March?