My Town Tutors

Tag: teacher jokes

  • Teacher Jokes for August

    My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest Blogs for Education, Parents, Travel, Tutoring, Sports, Music and College.

    Google Search “Teacher Jokes for August”

    1. Back to School Jokes: Lawn Sign on the First Day of School: Dear Teachers, Tag your it! Love the Parents.
    2. August 2nd National Watermelon Day Watermelon Jokes: Why was the teacher suspicious of the Watermelon during the exam… She couldn’t really put her finger on it. He just looked a little seedy.
    3. August 2nd National Ice Cream Sandwich Day: What kind of snack do you have during a scary movie?…. I scream (ice cream) sandwich.
    4. August 4th is Chocolate Chip Cookie Jokes: Did you hear the joke about the field trip to the Chocolate Chip cookie factory?… It is crummy.
    5. Music Jokes: What is on every teacher’s playlist?… School Boy Heart by Jimmy Buffett.
    6. Navy Jokes: Why did the navy ship go to school?… It wanted to learn how to make waves!
    7. Hurricane Jokes: Why did the teacher rush to the hurricane flood zone?… To test the water.
    8. Music Jokes: What Jimmy Buffett song is on every teacher’s summer playlist ?… “Summerzcool.”
    9. August 9, 2025 Sturgeon Moon: Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta see the Sturgeon Full Moon on August 9, 2025.
    10. Navy Jokes: What grades do you need to join the Navy?… 7 C’s. 
    11. Lord of the Rings Jokes:My teacher must really like Lord of the Rings… Whenever I ask about my grades she just says “You shall not pass!”
    12. August 12th World Elephant Day: 101 Elephant Jokes: Teacher: What’s gray, has four legs and a trunk? Student: An elephant. Teacher: No, a mouse on vacation.
    13. Hurricane Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, knock?… Who is there?… Ida… Ida Who?… Ida trust the National Hurricane Center and listen to their advice!
    14. Why are conjunctions dogs’ favorite parts of speech?… Dogs love buts.
    15. Why did the robot go on summer vacation?… He needed to recharge his batteries.
    16. Why don’t mummies go on summer vacation?… They’re afraid to relax and unwind!
    17. What summer vacation destination makes a pet bird sing for joy?… The Canary Islands!
    18. What kind of school do you go to if you’re an ice cream man?… Sundae school.
    19. What kind of school do you go to if you’re a surfer?…  Boarding school.
    20. Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses at summer school?… She had bright students! 
    21. How do bees get to school?… By school buzz!
    22. Why did the dog do so well in school?… He was the teacher’s pet.
    23. Teacher: Where is your homework? Student: I ate it. Teacher: Why? Student: You said it was a piece of cake!
    24. What did the dog do when he graduated from obedience school?… He had a paw-ty!
    25. What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?… A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”
    26. What do dogs get after they graduate from obedience school?… Their masters.
    27. What is the first thing a little snake learns in school?… Hiss tory. 
    28. August 24th National Waffle Day: Waffle Jokes: Do you know what Betty Crocker cupcakes & a Little League World Series team have in common?… They both count on the batter! 
    29. What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school?… Pop quizzes! 
    30. Teacher: I’ll be teaching you English this year and there are two words that I will not permit on any of your writing assignments. One is “cool” and the other is “lousy.” Student: Okay, what are the words?
    31. Alabama Jokes: Why is Alabama the smartest state?… Because it has 4 A’s and 1 B!
    32. Why do magicians do so well in school?… They’re good at trick questions.
    33. Where do math teachers like to go on summer vacation?… Times Square! (New York Jokes)
    34. What is a teacher’s favorite Jimmy Buffett song?… “Summerzcool.”
    35. Where do math teachers like to go on vacation?… Times Square! (New York Jokes)
    36. How is the student’s grade like going on summer beach vacation?… It was at C level. (Jokes for the Last Day of School & Jokes for Teachers)

  • Teacher Jokes: Pi Day Jokes for Teachers

    The Pi Day Joke blog is being sponsored by IPractice Math.
    IPractice Math is a great resource for parents and teachers! It offers learning topics inAlgebra, Calculus, Decimals, Fractions, and Consumer Math. Teachers and independent learners can register. here to register.


    Please Share!
    Top 10 Teacher Jokes!
    Top 10 Seasonal Jokes!: A GREAT advertising opportunity! 365 Sports Jokes!
     
    Check out 441 Jokes for Teachers! & Elementary School Math Jokes!

    Pi Day Jokes (26)




    1. 3.14% of Sailors are PI rates! (Top Pirate Jokes)
    2. What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?… Pi! (Find a U.S. math teacher who tutors!)
    3. What is the ideal number of pieces to cut a pie into?… 3.14
    4. Mathematician: “Pi r squared” Baker:” No! Pies are round, cakes are square!
    5. How many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie?… 3.14.
    6. In Alaska, where it gets very cold, pi is only 3.00. As you know, everything shrinks in the cold. They call it Eskimo pi.
    7. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s was Sir Cumference… He ate too much Pi!
    8. What is the official animal of Pi Day?… the PI – thon!
    9. The worst thing about getting hit in the face with pi is that it never ends.
    10. Never talk to pi. He’ll go on forever.
    11. I just saw the movie American Pi. I gave it a rating of 3.14.
    12. What is 1.57?… Half a pie
    13. What do you get when you cut a jack o’lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi! (Top Halloween Jokes)
    14. What do you get when you take green cheese and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Moon Pi.
    15. What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Pi in the sky.
    16. What was Sir Isaac Newton’s favorite dessert?… Apple pi!
    17. What do we get when we take the object and order the rim by the diameter?…Pi in the sky by and by.
    18. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter?… Pi a’la mode.
    19. Come to the nerd side, we have pi!
    20. How far can you recite pi?… Cherry, Apple, Pecan, Blueberry…
    21. What famous private investigator solves math problem?… Magnum PI
    22. What do you get when you take a bovine and divide its circumference by its diameter?… A cow pi.
    23. A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all given identicalrubber balls and told to find the volume. They are given anything theywant to measure it, and have all the time they need. The mathematician pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference. He then divides by two times pi to get the radius, cubes that, multiplies by pi again, and then multiplies by four-thirds and thereby calculates the volume.The physicist gets a bucket of water, places 1.00000 gallons of water in the bucket, drops in the ball, and measures the displacement to six significant figures. And the engineer? He writes down the serial number of the ball, and looks it up.
    24. Albert Einstein‘s birthday was on Pi Day — March 14, 1879. Perhaps he served pie for his birthday instead of cake.
    25. What do you get when you take a native Alaskan and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Eskimo pi.
    26. Several Experts Several experts were all posed the following question: What is pi?
    • The engineer said: “It is approximately 3 and 1/7″
    • The physicist said: “It is 3.14159.”
    • The mathematician thought a bit, and replied “It is equal to pi.”
    • A nutritionist: “Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!”


    Math Riddles (14)

    1. Why should you never mention the number 288 in front of anyone?… Because it is too gross (2 x 144 – two gross).
    2. How is the moon like a dollar?… They both have 4 quarters.
    3. How can you add eight 8′s to get the number 1,000? (only using addition) A: 888 +88 +8 +8 +8 = 1,000
    4. How many eggs can you put in an empty basket? … Only one, after that the basket is not empty.
    5. Where can you buy a ruler that is 3 feet long?… At a yard sale
    6. When things go wrong, what can you always count on?… Your fingers.
    7. What coin doubles in value when half is deducted?… A half dollar.
    8. Why are diapers like 100 dollar bills?… They need to be changed.
    9. What goes up and never comes down?… Your Age
    10. Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches long?… Otherwise it would be a foot.
    11. Why do they never serve beer at a math party?… Because you can’t drink and derive…
    12. Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?… Because it had more cents.
    13. Why is 6 afraid of 7?…  Because 7 8(ate) 9
    14. What is a proof?… One-half percent of alcohol.

    Geometry Jokes (33)


    1. What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of mount everest?… A high-pot-in-use
    2. What do you call a crushed angle?…. A Rectangle (wrecked angle)
    3. What did the baby tree say when it looked in a mirror?… Gee-Om-A-Tree.
    4. What do you get when you cross geometry with McDonalds?… A plane cheeseburger.
    5. Why did I divide sin by tan?… Just cos.
    6. What shape is usually waiting for you at Stabucks?… A line.
    7. Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?… because it was over 90 degrees.
    8. What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?…
    9. Nothing! You know you can’t cross a scalar and a vector.
    10. What did the acorn say when he grew up?… Gee, I’m A Tree!
    11. Why does nobody talk to circles?… Because there is no point!
    12. What do you call an angle which is adorable?… acute angle
    13. What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?… Hexagon
    14. Who invented the Round Table?… Sir Cumference.
    15. Which triangles are the coldest?… Ice-sosceles triangles.
    16. What do people who whine a lot and 3 points have in common?… They are both coplaners
    17. How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie?… 3.142
    18. What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?… Geometry
    19. What do you call people who like tractors?… Protractors
    20. Why were the similar triangles weighing themselves?… They were finding their scale.
    21. Why won’t the circles invite the ellipses over for dinner?… They are too eccentric.
    22. Why did the 30-60-90 triangle marry the 45-45-90 triangle?… They were right for each other.
    23. Why is a geometry book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
    24. Why is Ms. Radian such a good reporter?… She covers the story from every angle.
    25. Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?… His parents wouldn’t cosine
    26. Where do circles, ellipses, hyperbolas and parabolas like to hang out in the summer?… Coney Island.
    27. Why didn’t the chicken cross to the other side of the inequality?… It couldn’t get past the boundary line.
    28. Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi
    29. Why was the parent function upset with its child?… It was stretched to its limit.
    30. What is a proof?.. One-half percent of alcohol.
    31. Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?… Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
    32. What did one geometry book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
    33. What do you call a broken record?… A Decca-gone


    Calculus Jokes (21)

    1. Why do they never serve beer at a math party?… Because you can’t drink and derive…
    2. Why won’t Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it? It’s too cubed.
    3. What’s the integral of (1/cabin)d(cabin)?… A natural log cabin!
    4. What is the first derivative of a cow?… Prime Rib!
    5. What is the value of the contour integral around Western Europe?… Zero. Why?
    6. Because all poles are in Eastern Europe!
    7. How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children?… “I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…”
    8. What is polite and works for the phone company?… A deferential operator.
    9. Why was the parent function upset with its child?… It was stretched to its limit.
    10. Did you hear the joke about the statistician?… Probably
    11. What wild animal is good at calculus?… The tangent lion.
    12. Why is a calculus book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
    13. Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?… He was better at fitting curves than hitting them.
    14. Why was the function so bent out of shape?… It’s regression model was too tight a fit.
    15. What is the integral of log cabin d cabin?…Log Cabin + sea = houseboat.
    16. Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?… Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
    17. What did one calculus book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
    18. What’s yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice?… Zorn’s Lemon.
    19. Why did the algebra students throw bottles of hand cream across the classroom?… They were investigating projectile lotion.
    20. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a zebra?…  Elephant zebra sin theta.
    21. Why is it that the more accuracy you demand from an interpolation function, the more expensive it becomes to compute?… That’s the Law of Spline Demand.


    Algebra Jokes (22)

    1. Why was the student afraid of the y-intercept?… She thought she’d be stung by the b.
    2. Who invented algebra?… A Clever X-pert.
    3. What do you call mall friends who love math? alge “bros”
    4. Why won’t Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?… It’s too cubed.
    5. What do you get when you cross an algebra class with the prom?… The quadratic formal.
    6. What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?… Nothing! You know you can’t cross a scalar and a vector.
    7. Why is an algebra book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
    8. Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?… Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
    9. What is purple and commutative?… An abelian grape
    10. What shape is usually waiting for you at Stabucks?…  A line.
    11. Why did the relation need a math tutor? … It failed the vertical-line test.
    12. How can a fisherman determine how many fish he needs to catch to make a profit?… By using a cod-ratic inequality.
    13. Why did the imaginary number turn red?… It ran out of i-drops.
    14. What does the little mermaid wear?… An algae-bra.
    15. How does a ghost solve a quadratic equation?… By completing the scare.
    16. What is a proof?… One-half percent of alcohol.
    17. What did algebra math book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
    18. What is the definition of a polar bear?… A rectangular bear after a coordinate transformation
    19. Why did all the apples in the fruit bowl know each other?… They were core-relations.
    20. Why was the matrix arrested?… Illegal entry.
    21. What do you call a rodent with babies?… A quad-rat-ic parent.
    22. What do you get when you cross a linebacker with a computer geek?… A linear programmer.

     

  • Teacher Christmas Jokes: 140 Christmas Jokes for Teachers

    MyTown Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Find qualified tutors in your area today!




    Guest Blog Page
    Top Joke Pages

    1. 180 School Jokes! Start Your Day with a Smile!
    2. Christmas Jokes & Christmas Trivia
    3. Winter Jokes
    4. Clean Jokes
    5. 365 Family Friendly Jokes
    6. School Jokes: December Jokes

    December Jokes / Top 10 December Pages / December Hashtags of the Day
    December Guest Blogs
    Top Careers
    Check out our complete list of 100+ Guest Blogs! & 365 Family Friendly Jokes!
    Top Guest Blogs
    Writing Advice for College Students
    As Christmas approaches, we wanted to share a few more seasonal jokes with you. We hope you enjoy.

    1. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?…He was feeling crummy.
    2. What is the difference between the alphabet and the Christmas alphabet?…The Christmas alphabet has no L (noel)
    3. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?… Frostbite
    4. What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?…A cookie sheet!
    5. Where do Santa Claus and the elves keep their money?… In a snow bank.
    6. If an athlete gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?…Missile Toe
    7. What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?…Claustrophobic
    8. How do elves climb up to the top of Santa’s Castle?…Using an “Elf”-evator.
    9. Elves use what kind of money?…Jingle bills!
    10. What would you call the twelfth elf that comes to help other 11 elves in the workshop?…The twelf
    11. What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery?…Welfy
    12. Where would a reindeer go to find her lost tail?…”Re-tail” store.
    13. Which reindeer has the cleanest antlers?…Comet!
    14. Who is rudest reindeer?…”Rude”-olph
    15. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?…He looks at his calen-”deer”!
    16. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?…Nothing, reindeer can’t talk.
    17. Which elf was the best singer?…ELFis Presley.
    18. Why the turkey was asked to join the band by elves?… because he had the drum sticks!
    19. What is for lunch on Christmas Day for snowmen?…Icebergers!
    20. How do snowmen travel around?…By icicle!
    21. How does one snowman greet another snowman?….Ice to meet you.
    22. What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?…Answer: Brrrr- itos.
    23. What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?…Cold cash!
    24. Where does a snowman keep his money?…In a snow bank.
    25. What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve?…Halo there!
    26. If Santa Claus is crossed with a detective then you would get what?…Santa Clues!
    27. What is the snowman’s breakfast?…Frosted flakes!
    28. Where the snowman does dances on?…A snow ball!
    29. What snowmen wear on the Christmas Eve?…Ice caps.
    30. When Santa doesn’t move then what he should be called?…Santa Pause.
    31. Do you know any bird that can write?…Pen-guine.
    32. How do sheep in Mexico greet Merry Christmas?…Fleece Navidad!
    33. What kind of music does elves like best?…”Wrap” music!
    34. How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?… A merry Christmas to ewe.
    35. What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?… Black mail!
    36. How do elves greet each other?… “Small world, isn’t it?”
    37. What do elves learn in schools?… the “elf”-abet!
    38. What nationality is Santa?… North Polish!
    39. What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?… Crisp Cringle!
    40. What did the ghost say to Santa?… We’ll have a boo Christmas without you!
    41. What do you call a cat at the beach during Christmastime?… Sandy Claws!
    42. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?… Snowflakes!
    43. Why does Santa have 3 gardens?… So he can ho-ho-ho!
    44. Why was Santa’s little helper sad?… He had low elf esteem!
    45. What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?… Ribbon Hood
    46. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?…It’s Christmas, Eve !
    47. What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?… The letter “D”!
    48. What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?… Black mail!
    49. Who delivers cat’s Christmas presents?… Santa Paws!
    50. Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney?… Because it soots him!
    51. What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?…Chill out.
    52. What does Jack Frost like best about school?…Snow and tell.
    53. Define claustrophobia…Fear of Santa Claus?
    54. Knock, knock…Who’s there?…Olive…Olive, who?…Olive the other reindeer.
    55. A Christmas book never written: “What Did I Do Wrong THIS Year?” by Kole N. Stocking.
    56. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?…Do you smell carrots?
    57. Knock Knock…Who’s there?… Snow… Snow who?… Snow business like show business !
    58. Knock Knock…Who’s there?…Wayne…Wayne who?… Wayne in a manger!
    59. Knock Knock…Who’s there?…Avery…Avery who?…Avery merry Christmas!
    60. Knock Knock…Who’s there?…Mary… Mary who?… Mary Christmas!
    61. Where do polar bears vote?…The North Poll.
    62. Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?…Because the angel had said, “No L!”
    63. Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?…You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
    64. What do reindeer say before telling a joke?… This one will sleigh you!
    65. Why is a reindeer like a gossip?… Because they are both tail bearers!
    66. Why do reindeer wear fur coats ?… Because they would look silly in plastic macs!
    67. How do you make a slow reindeer fast?… Don’t feed it!
    68. Why did the reindeer wear black boots?… Because his brown ones were all muddy!
    69. How long should a reindeer’s legs be?… Just long enough to reach the ground!
    70. Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the beach?… Because he didn’t want to be recognized!
    71. Which reindeer have the shortest legs?…The smallest ones!
    72. Where do you find reindeer?… It depends on where you leave them!
    73. What do reindeer have that no other animals have?… Baby reindeer !
    74. What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?… She gave him the cold shoulder!
    75. What do snowmen wear on their heads?…Ice caps!
    76. What’s an ig?…An eskimo’s home without a loo!
    77. What do snowmen eat for lunch?… Icebergers!
    78. Where do snowmen go to dance?…Snowballs!
    79. How do snowmen travel around?…By iceicle!
    80. What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?… A snowball!
    81. How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?… You wake up wet!
    82. What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?… Frost bite!
    83. How do you call an Eskimo cow?… An Eskimoo!
    84. What’s white and goes up?… A confused snowflake!
    85. What is the best Christmas present in the world?….A broken drum, you cant beat it!
    86. What says, “Now you see me, now you don’t, now you see me, now you don’t?”…A snowman on a cross walk!
    87. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?… A Christmas Quacker!
    88. What is green, white, and red all over?… A sunburnt elf.
    89. Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?… Rude-olph!
    90. What do cows say at Christmas?… MOOey Christmas!
    91. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?… The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!
    92. Where does a snowman keep his money?… In a snow bank.
    93. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?… They are always dropping their needles.
    94. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?… Because of all the wrapping!
    95. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?… Santa Claus.
    96. What’s white and red and goes up and down and up and down?… Santa Claus in an elevator!
    97. How do you scare a snowman?… You get a hairdryer!
    98. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?… Christmas Corals!
    99. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?… Nothing, it was on the house!
    100. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?… Santa’s burps!
    101. What do snowmen do on Christmas?… Play with the snow angels.
    102. Who says “Oh, Oh, Oh!”?… Santa walking backwards!
    103. What do you call a Santa that sleeps all the time?… Santa snores!
    104. What’s a good holiday tip?… Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
    105. What Christmas carol is a favorite of parents?… Silent Night.
    106. What do you call a snowman in the summer?… A puddle!
    107. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?… Comet.
    108. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?… An ice burger with chili sauce.
    109. Why is Santa so good at karate?… Because he has a black belt!
    110. Why did the candy cane cross the road?… Because it wanted to get a licking!
    111. What’s the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?… A list of everything you want!
    112. What kind of bug hates Christmas?… A humbug.
    113. What two countries should the chef use when he’s making Christmas dinner?… Turkey and Greece.
    114. Who gives presents to baby sharks?… Santa Jaws.
    115. What’s white, red and blue at Christmas time?… A sad candy cane!
    116. What do you call a girl with a Christmas Tree on her head?… Carol.
    117. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?… Tinsilitis!
    118. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?… “Looks like rain, dear.”
    119. Why did Frosty have a carrot in his nose?… Because he forgot where the refrigerator was.
    120. What do vampires sing on New Year’s Eve?… Auld Fang Syne!
    121. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?… “Aren’t you tired of hanging around?”
    122. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?… Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
    123. What’s Santa’s favorite candy?… Jolly Ranchers!
    124. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?… Jungle bells, Jungle bells…
    125. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?… Nothing, reindeer can’t talk.
    126. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?… Krisp Cringle.
    127. What is big, red and flies in the sky?… Santa Clause!
    128. Did you hear about the fire cracker’s Christmas party?… It was a BANG!
    129. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?… Pineapple.
    130. What is the cleanest reindeer called?… Comet.
    131. How do you know when Santa’s in the room?… You can sense his presents.
    132. What did the cow get for Christmas?… A COWculator.
    133. What’s red and white, red and white, red and white?… Santa Claus rolling down the hill.
    134. What comes before Christmas Eve?… Christmas Adam!
    135. Why did Jimmy’s grades drop after the holidays?… Because everything was marked down!
    136. Knock knock… Who’s there? … Snow… Snow who? …. Snow use. I forgot my name again!
    137. Knock knock… Who’s there? … Gladis… Gladis who? … Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!
    138. Knock knock… Who’s there? … Santa… Santa who? … Santa Clause!
    139. Knock knock…Who’s there?… Irish... Irish who? … Irish you a Merry Christmas!
    140. Knock knock... Who’s there? … Mary and Abbey... Mary and Abbey who? … Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

    Christmas Elf

    If you are a teacher who tutors, register with us for just $12 for a year. This is the only fee! Teachers keep 100% of the money. One of our teachers made $5,000 last year tutoring.
    Parents, “teachers are great tutors!” Find one in your area today!
     

  • Top 101 Christmas Jokes for Teachers: Teacher Jokes

    The Christmas Jokes Blog is being sponsored by @JonLJenMarc a great place for learning. If you like our list, please show your support by following @JonLJenMarc and by visiting jonljenmarc.com. Their generous support allows us to continue providing resources for teachers and parents.
    My Town Tutors loves a good laugh. Over the years we have acquired many jokes that are school appropriate. In fact we wrote a blog 180 School Jokes! Start Your Day with a Smile!
    As Christmas approaches, we wanted to share a few more seasonal jokes with you. We hope you enjoy.

    1. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?…He was feeling crummy.
    2. What is the difference between the alphabet and the Christmas alphabet?…The Christmas alphabet has no L (noel)
    3. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?… Frostbite
    4. What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?…A cookie sheet!
    5. Where do Santa Claus and the elves keep their money?… In a snow bank.
    6. If an athlete gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?…Missile Toe
    7. What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?…Claustrophobic.
    8. Elves use what kind of money?…Jingle bills!
    9. What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery?…Welfy
    10. Where would a reindeer go to find her lost tail?…”Re-tail” store.
    11. Which reindeer has the cleanest antlers?…Comet!
    12. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?…He looks at his calen-”deer”!
    13. Which elf was the best singer?…ELFis Presley.
    14. Why the turkey was asked to join the band by elves?… because he had the drum sticks!
    15. What is for lunch on Christmas Day for snowmen?…Icebergers!
    16. How do snowmen travel around?…By icicle!
    17. How does one snowman greet another snowman?….Ice to meet you.
    18. What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?… Brrrr- itos.
    19. What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?…Cold cash!
    20. Where does a snowman keep his money?…In a snow bank.
    21. What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve?…Halo there!
    22. If Santa Claus is crossed with a detective then you would get what?…Santa Clues!
    23. What is the snowman’s breakfast?…Frosted flakes!
    24. Where the snowman does dances on?…A snow ball!
    25. What snowmen wear on the Christmas Eve?…Ice caps.
    26. When Santa doesn’t move then what he should be called?…Santa Pause.
    27. How do sheep in Mexico greet Merry Christmas?…Fleece Navidad!
    28. What kind of music does elves like best?…”Wrap” music!
    29. How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?… A merry Christmas to ewe.
    30. What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?… Black mail!
    31. How do elves greet each other?… “Small world, isn’t it?”
    32. What do elves learn in schools?… the “elf”-abet!
    33. What nationality is Santa?… North Polish!
    34. What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?… Crisp Cringle!
    35. What did the ghost say to Santa?… We’ll have a boo Christmas without you!
    36. What do you call a cat at the beach during Christmastime?… Sandy Claws!
    37. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?… Snowflakes!
    38. Why does Santa have 3 gardens?… So he can ho-ho-ho!
    39. Why was Santa’s little helper sad?… He had low elf esteem!
    40. What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?… Ribbon Hood
    41. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?… It’s Christmas, Eve!
    42. What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?… The letter “D”!
    43. What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?… Black mail!
    44. Who delivers cat’s Christmas presents?… Santa Paws!
    45. Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney?… Because it soots him!
    46. What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?…Chill out.
    47. What does Jack Frost like best about school?…Snow and tell.
    48. Knock, knock…Who’s there?…Olive…Olive, who?…Olive the other reindeer.
    49. A Christmas book never written: “What Did I Do Wrong THIS Year?” by Kole N. Stocking.
    50. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?…Do you smell carrots?
    51. Knock Knock…Who’s there?… Snow… Snow who?… Snow business like show business!
    52. Knock Knock…Who’s there?…Avery…Avery who?…Avery merry Christmas!
    53. Knock Knock…Who’s there?…Mary… Mary who?… Mary Christmas!
    54. Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?… Because the angel had said, “No L!”
    55. Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?… You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
    56. What do reindeer say before telling a joke?… This one will sleigh you!
    57. Why is a reindeer like a gossip?… Because they are both tail bearers!
    58. Why do reindeer wear fur coats ?… Because they would look silly in plastic macs!
    59. How do you make a slow reindeer fast?… Don’t feed it!
    60. Where do you find reindeer?… It depends on where you leave them!
    61. What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?… She gave him the cold shoulder!
    62. What’s an ig?…An eskimo’s home without a loo!
    63. What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?… A snowball!
    64. How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?… You wake up wet!
    65. What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?… Frost bite!
    66. How do you call an Eskimo cow?… An Eskimoo!
    67. What’s white and goes up?… A confused snowflake!
    68. What is the best Christmas present in the world?….A broken drum, you can’t beat it!
    69. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?… A Christmas Quacker!
    70. Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?… Rude-olph!
    71. What do cows say at Christmas?… MOOey Christmas!
    72. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?… They are always dropping their needles.
    73. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?… Because of all the wrapping!
    74. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?… Santa Claus.
    75. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?… Christmas Corals!
    76. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?… Nothing, it was on the house!
    77. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?… Santa’s burps!
    78. What Christmas carol is a favorite of parents?… Silent Night.
    79. What do you call a snowman in the summer?… A puddle!
    80. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?… Comet.
    81. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?… An ice burger with chili sauce.
    82. Why is Santa so good at karate?… Because he has a black belt!
    83. Why did the candy cane cross the road?… Because it wanted to get a licking!
    84. What kind of bug hates Christmas?… A humbug.
    85. What two countries should the chef use when he’s making Christmas dinner?… Turkey and Greece.
    86. Who gives presents to baby sharks?… Santa Jaws.
    87. What’s white, red and blue at Christmas time?… A sad candy cane!
    88. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?… Tinsilitis!
    89. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?… “Looks like rain, dear.”
    90. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?… “Aren’t you tired of hanging around?”
    91. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?… Jungle bells, Jungle bells…
    92. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?… Krisp Cringle.
    93. Did you hear about the fire cracker’s Christmas party?… It was a BANG!
    94. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?… Pineapple.
    95. What is the cleanest reindeer called?… Comet.
    96. How do you know when Santa’s in the room?… You can sense his presents.
    97. What comes before Christmas Eve?… Christmas Adam!
    98. Why did Jimmy’s grades drop after the holidays?… Because everything was marked down!
    99. Knock knock… Who’s there? … Snow… Snow who? …. Snow use. I forgot my name again!
    100. Knock knock…Who’s there?… Irish... Irish who? … Irish you a Merry Christmas!
    101. Knock knock... Who’s there? … Mary and Abbey... Mary and Abbey who? … Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

     

    If you are a teacher who tutors, register with us for just $12 for a year. This is the only fee! Teachers keep 100% of the money. One of our teachers made $5,000 last year tutoring.
    Parents, “teachers are great tutors!” Find one in your area today!