Pirate Jokes: Top Pirate Jokes

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  1. What is a pirate’s favorite letter?…. Most people think it’s the ‘R’rrrr, but really it’s the ‘C’ they love. (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week)
  2. Do you know any good pirate jokes?… Neither do Ayyye!
  3. How do pirates talk to each other?… Aye to aye!
  4. What did the sea say to the Pirate Captain?… Nothing, it just waved! (Top Geography Jokes)
  5. Where did the one legged pirate go for breakfast?… IHOP
  6. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?… Because they can spend years at C. (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week)
  7. Why did the pirate fail his spelling class?…. Because he insisted there were seven ‘C’s. (Deos Selplnig Ralely Mtetar? & Spelling Lists)
  8. What happened when Redbeard fell in the Deep Blue Sea?… He got marooned.
  9. Why should pirates work for FedEx?… They have the fastest ships in the shipping business.
  10. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook?… An arm and a leg.
  11. When is the best time for a pirate to buy a new ship?… When it’s on sail.
  12. What’s a pirate’s favorite basketball move?… Jump hook. (Top Basketball Jokes)
  13. Have you heard about the new pirate movie?… It’s rated AARRRRGGH!
  14. How much does a pirate pay to get his ears pierced?… A-buck-an-ear
  15. 3.14% of Sailors are PI rates! (Pi Day Jokes)
  16. What’s every pirate’s favorite flavor potato chip?… Barrrrrrbeque
  17. What’s the pirate’s favorite restaurant?… Trick question because it’s either Jolly Roger or Long John Silver’s.
  18. What’s the pirate’s favorite movie?… Booty and the Beast
  19. Why don’t you ever see a pirate cry?… When they do, it’s a private tear!
  20. What is the official mascot of of Pi Day?… the PI – rate! (Pi Day Jokes)
  21. What kind of ships do pirates have trouble with?… Relationships! (Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  22. What’s a pirate’s favorite state? Arrrrkansas (Top State Jokes)
  23. What kind of socks does a pirate wear?… AARRRRGGHyle!
  24. If Blackbeard played sports who would he play for?… Either the Tampa Bay Buccaneers or the Pittsburg Pirates. (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  25. How do pirates make their money?… By hook or by crook.
  26. Why do pirates make excellent fishermen?… They know how to hook the big ones.
  27. Why are pirates called pirates?… They just aRRRRRRRR
  28. Why don’t pirates use a safe deposit box?… They put their valuables in Davy Jones’ Locker.
  29. What does a pirate wear for Halloween?… A pumpkin patch! (Top Halloween Jokes)
  30. How could the pirate acquire the ship so cheaply?… Because it was on sail.
  31. Why did the pirate not learn how to bowl?… He had a severe hook. (Top 10 Sports Jokes).
  32. What are the only notes a pirate can sing?… High C’s [seas]
  33. What shivers at the bottom of the sea?… a nervous wreck
  34. Why don’t pirates take a bath before they walk the plank?… They’ll just wash up on shore later. (Top Geography Jokes)
  35. Have you heard about the new pirate movie?… It’s rated AARRRRRR because of all the booty!
  36. What does a pirate say when he takes over santa’s job?… Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum. (Top Christmas Jokes)
  37. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of cookie?… ships ahoy
  38. When boxing, what’s a pirate’s favorite punch? Left hook. (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  39. Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?… Because they insist there are 7 Cs!
  40. What’s a pirate’s least favorite animal?… Beaver.
  41. Why aren’t there any French Restaurants in Davy Jones’ Locker?… Dead men sell no snails! (French Teachers are Great Tutors!)
  42. What’s a pirate’s favorite movie?… Booty and the Beast.
  43. Where do pirates buy their sketch pads?… Arrrrrrrt Supply Store.
  44. What kind of look does a pirate give right before walking off the ship?… Plank stare.
  45. How does a pirate tell his matey he’ll watch for him?… I’ll keep an eye out for you.
  46. What a pirate’s 2 favorite letters?… Arrrr and Seaaaa
  47. What did the Pirate on Wheel of Fortune say?… I’d like to buy an Aye!
  48. How much did the pirate’s ear-rings cost?… A-buck-an-ear
  49. What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?… Shiver me timbers!
  50. What kind of grades did the pirate get in school?… HIGH SEAS! (Top Teacher Jokes)
  51. What’s a pirate always looking for, even though it’s right behind him?… His booty!
  52. Why does a pirate’s phone go beep beep beep beep beep?… because he left it off the hook!
  53. Why can’t pirates play cards?… Because they’re always standing on the deck!
  54. What is a pirate’s favorite subject?… Arrrrrrt
  55. How do pirates know they exist?… They think, therefore they arrrr
  56. How much did the pirate pay for his peg-leg and hook?… An arm and a leg
  57. What’s a pirate’s second-choice job?… an arrrrrrchitect!
  58. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?… arrrr (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week)
  59. What’s a pirate’s second favorite mode of transportation?… A cAARRRRGGH!(Top Massachusetts Jokes)
  60. What Star Wars character is really a pirate?… AARRRRGGH-2 D-2! (Top Star Wars Jokes)
  61. What’s a pirate’s favorite country?… AARRRRGGHentina! (Top Geography Jokes)
  62. Why did the pirate go on vacation?… He needed some AARRRRGGH and AARRRRGGH!
  63. Where do pirates put their trash?… in the GARRRRRRRRRRRBAGE can!
  64. What is a pirates favorite doll?… BARRRRRRRRRRBIE!
  65. Where do pirates keep their cookies?… in a jarrrr!!!!
  66. How did the pirate become a lawyer?… he passed the barrrrr!!!!
  67. Where do pirates like to eat?… the HARRRRRRD rock cafe!
  68. What are pirates afraid of?… the DARRRRRRRRRRK
  69. What did the pirate do to his drowning first mate?… C P ARRRRRRRRR
  70. Where did the pirate put its car when it was done driving it?… the PARRRRRRRRRKING lot
  71. Why are pirates the coolest?… they just ARRRRRRRR!!!
  72. Where do pirates keep their weapons?… in an ARRRRRRRRSONAL!
  73. What’s a pirates favorite fast food restaurant? ………arrrrrr-by’s
  74. Where do pirates park their ships?… in the harrrrrrbor!
  75. Where do pirates get their haircut?… at the barrrrrber!
  76. Why is there smoke all around the pirate?… He’s smoking a cigarrr.
  77. Why does the pirate say AED?… He knows medical Jarrrgon
  78. What was the pirate’s golf score?… parrrr
  79. Why did the pirate move to Russia?… To be czarrr
  80. How much does it cost a pirate to get a piercing?… A buck an ear!
  81. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook?… An arm and a leg!
  82. What does a gourmet pirate add to his dinner?… A gAARRRRGGHnish!
  83. What has 8 arms and 8 legs?… Eight pirates!
  84. How did the pirate stop smoking?… He used the patch!
  85. What do you call a pirate that skips class?… Captain Hooky!
  86. Where do pirates get chocolate?… Carob bean
  87. Where do pirates drink their beer?… In schooners.
  88. Which pirate ship has a gate?… Frigate.
  89. What is a buccaneer?… Pretty high price to pay for corn.
  90. What does a vegan pirate do in jail?… Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve!
  91. Where does a pirate store his workout clothes?… Davy Jone’s Locker.
  92. What’s Bluebeard’s favorite song?… Doubloon Moon.
  93. How did the pirate stop smoking?… He used the patch.
  94. What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say?… RRAAAAAAAAAAA!
  95. What’s a pirate’s favorite food?… Arrrrrtichokes.
  96. Why do pirates never go hiking?… poison oak is deadly with hook
  97. Where do pirates find their birds?… Parrots Without Partners.
  98. Did you hear about the pirate’s parrot that fell in love with a duck?… The bird kept saying, “Polly wants a quacker”.
  99. Why couldn’t the young pirate see the R-rated movie?… There was no parrot-al guidance.
  100. Why does a pirate fear getting older?… He could have arrrrthritus.
  101. How do pirates eat on their ships?… Slurp soup on the sloop.
  102. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?… A carrot
  103. What does a pirate think happens at the end of time?… Arrrrmageddon.
  104. What exercise is hard for Blackbeard?… Pirate Pilates.
  105. Who was the pirate’s favorite musician?… Carlos Bandana.
  106. What has 12 arms, 12 legs and 12 eyes?… A dozen pirates
  107. Who’s the pirate’s favorite actress?… Diane Cannon.
  108. How does a pirate, wearing a patch, say “yes” to the leader?… Eye Eye, Captain.
  109. What does a pirate put on toast?… Jelly Roger.
  110. Why did the pirate refuse to say, “Aye, Aye, Captain”?… Because he’s only got one eye.
  111. What was Bluebeard’s wife’s name?… Peg.
  112. What’s the smelliest part of a pirate ship?… the poop deck.

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