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Google Search “Christmas Eve Jokes”
- December Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes about Christmas Eve.
- Pope Jokes: What comes before Christmas Eve?… Christmas Adam!
- Music Jokes: What Waitresses song is appropriate for Christmas Eve?… Christmas Wrapping.
- Reindeer Jokes: Why are reindeer always so happy the night of Christmas Eve?… Because they’re on top of the world!
- Cookie Jokes: What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?… Santa’s burps!
- Santa Jokes: Why does Santa have to be extra careful with his health around Christmas Eve?… It’s flue season!
- What is the #1 song on Santa’s Christmas Eve playlist?… Don’t Stop Believin by Journey.
- Santa Jokes: What did Santa say when he returned home after delivering the gifts around the world?… There’s snow place like home.
- What vaccination does Santa Claus get on Christmas Eve?… Shingles.
- When Santa takes a break on Christmas Eve, what should he be called?… Santa Pause.
- Why is it so easy to track Santa on Christmas Eve?… Because he always accepts cookies.
- Why does Scrooge love all of the reindeer?… Because every buck is dear to him!
- What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?… It’s Christmas, Eve!
- What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve?… Halo there!
- What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?… Black mail!
- Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?… Because it soot’s him.
- Grinch Pun: That gift really took me by surprise… just like the Grinch on Christmas Eve.
- Snowman Jokes: What snowmen wear on the Christmas Eve?…Ice caps.
- Why did Santa go to a psychiatrist?… He no longer believed in himself.
- Sesame Street Jokes: What is Santa’s favorite Sesame Street character?… Cookie Monster. After all, they have a lot in common.
- Why wouldn’t you want to get into a fight with Santa?… He has a black belt AND… you will be put on the naughty list.
- Who does Santa call when his sleigh breaks down on Chirstmas Eve?… The Abominable Towman.
- Where does Santa and his reindeer go to get hot chocolate while flying in the sky?… Star-bucks.
- How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?… He was hooked on trees his whole life.
- What do reindeer hang on their Christmas #trees?… Horn-Aments.
- What is Clarence’s from (It’s A Wonderful Life) favorite baseball team?… The Angels!
- How does Christmas Eve end?… With the letter ‘E’!
- Swimming Jokes: Where do Santa’s elves go swimming?… The North pool.
- What does Santa use to clean his sleigh?… Santa-tizer.
- What do farmers do on Christmas Eve?… Hang the corn stalkings over the fireplace.
- How did the #rinch get home from the Christmas Eve Party?… He took a Who-ber.
- How does Santa get his Reindeer to fly?… He uses Red Bull because it gives you wings!
- How does Santa Claus take a picture on Christmas Eve?… With a North Pole-roid.
- What do you call a can that has the Christmas spirit?… A Merry can.
- What do you call a kid on ChristmasEve who doesn’t believe in Santa?… A rebel without a Claus.
- Did you hear about the fire cracker’s Christmas Eve party?… It was a BANG!
- What do you call Santa if he also lives in the South Pole?… Bi-Polar!
- What do you call Santa’s helpers?… Subordinate Clauses.
- What do you call a blind reindeer?.. No eye deer.
- What do you call a blind reindeer with no legs?.. Still, no eye deer.
- What snowmen wear on the Christmas Eve?…Ice caps.
- What does Tarzan sing on ChristmasEve?… Jungle bells, jungle bells …
- What’s a good Christmas Eve tip?… Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
- We are thinking about making chili for Christmas Eve. We’re starting a new tradition called ‘silent but deadly night’.
- What did the little elves have to do when they got home from school?… Gnome-work!
- What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?… Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
- What’s Santas favorite snack food?… Crisp Pringles.
- What does Miley Cyrus eat at Christmas Eve?… Twerk-ey!
- Why wouldn’t Santa ride his sleigh on Christmas Eve?… For elf and safety concerns.
- What goes “oh oh oh”?… Santa walking backwards.
- What do you call a singing elf with sideburns?… Elfis.
- How does Santa Claus take a picture on Christmas Eve?… With a North Pole-roid.
- What Christmas Carol is a favorite of parents?… Silent Night.
- What do you call a frog hanging from a ceiling?… Mistletoad.
- What is red, white, and blue and hangs on a Christmas Tree?… A sad candy cane.
- I’ll never forget the Christmas Eve my father went to jail. It didn’t take long before he got violent, abusive, screaming and thrashing around, smearing feces on the walls… I’ll never play Monopoly with him again.
- Why was Santa cast in a musical?… Because he had stage presents (presence)
- An Irish dad calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing.” “Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.” The son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced!”she shouts, “I’ll take care of this!” She calls Ireland immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Sorted! They’re coming for Christmas – and they’re paying their own way”
- Why was the milkman afraid on Christmas eve?… The ghost of Christmas Pasteurisation.
- What doesn’t Mr. Krabs celebrate Christmas Eve?… Cause he’s “Shell-Fish”
- What do you call a sheep who doesn’t like Christmas Eve?… Baaaaaaaa humbug.
- Name the child’s favorite Christmas king?… A stocking.
- What do the elves cook with in the kitchen on Christmas eve?… Utinsel.
- Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store on Christmas Eve?… He was looking for the holiday spirit.
- How does Santa Claus get so much work done on Christmas Eve?… He sleighs all day.
- What comes before Christmas Eve?… Christmas Adam.
- Why did they couple get hitched on the 24 of December?… So they could have a married Christmas.
- A mafioso’s son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, ‘Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new…’ He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away. He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again, ‘Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new…’ He again looks at it with disgust and throws it away. He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother’s room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet, and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes, ‘Dear baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again…’
- What do naughty reindeer eat for breakfast?… Co-coal Puffs.
- Who doesn’t eat on Christmas Eve?… A turkey because it is always stuffed.
- Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?… Because the present’s beneath them.
- Who does Santa call when his sleigh breaks down?… The Abominable Towman.
- Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter heaven. On entering they must present something relating to or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of stockings. Confused at this last gesture, St Peter asks, ‘How do these represent Christmas?’ Answer: ‘They’re Carol’s.’
- Where the snowman does dances on Christmas Eve?… A snow ball!
- What monkeys sing on Christmas Eve in concert?… Jungle Bells, Jungle bells!
- What do you call a Christmas song parody that’s not funny?… The first no-LOL
- What did the generous mole say when his friends crashed his Christmas Eve party?… The mole the merrier!
- What a big candle says to a small candle on a Christmas Eve?… I am going out for dinner tonight.
- If someone claps on the Christmas Eve then he should be called as… Santapplause!
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Eve party?… He had no-body to go with.
- If Santa Claus is crossed with a detective then you would get what?… Santa Clues!
- How do you know that Santa is a man?… No woman wears the same attire every year.
- What wild animals sing on Christmas Eve in concert?… Jungle Bells, Jungle bells!
- When Santa doesn’t move then what he should be called as?… Santa Pause.
- What’s the worst kind of weather you can get on Christmas Eve?… Acid raindeer.
- What do you call a cat on Christmas Eve?… Sandy Claws.
- What did the apple say after Christmas Eve dinner?… Good-pie everyone.
- The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Finland. Now Santa Claus is missing.
- Why did the Karen travel to Bethlehem on Christmas Eve?… She wanted to speak to the manger!
- My childhood memories of Christmas are dominated by the time I sneaked downstairs one Christmas Eve and heard my mother telling Father Christmas that he was a fat, lazy, good for nothing drunken slob… I saw mommy dissing Santa Claus…
- What is the best Christmas present in the world?…. A broken drum, you can’t beat it!
- Why did Rudolph get a bad report card?… Because he went down in history.
- How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?… Nothing, it was on the house!
- What kind of music does elves like best?…”Wrap” music!
- Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer?… Spruce Springsteen.
- Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas. Luke: How do you know? Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.
- What nationality is Santa?… North Polish!
- What do call a student afraid of Santa Claus?….Claustrophobic.
- Knock knock…Who’s there?… Irish… Irish who?… Irish you a Merry Christmas!
- What did the Tarzan sing on Christmas Eve?… Jungle bells, Jungle bells…
- What do you do if somebody dies Christmas Eve?… Wait 12 hours and have Christmas Mourning.
- My dad is the meanest person in the world On Christmas Eve, he fired his air gun in to the sky, and came back inside to tell me that Santa has committed suicide.