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  • Top 25 Pi Day Jokes: Pi Day Jokes, Puns, & Riddles

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    Pi Day Jokes (11)

    1. 3.14% of Sailors are PI rates! (Top Pirate Jokes)
    2. What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?… Pi! (Find a U.S. math teacher who tutors!)
    3. What is the ideal number of pieces to cut a pie into?… 3.14
    4. Mathematician: “Pi r squared” Baker:” No! Pies are round, cakes are square!
    5. How many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie?… 3.14.
    6. In Alaska, where it gets very cold, pi is only 3.00. As you know, everything shrinks in the cold. They call it Eskimo pi.
    7. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s was Sir Cumference… He ate too much Pi!
    8. What is the official animal of Pi Day?… the PI – thon!
    9. The worst thing about getting hit in the face with pi is that it never ends.
    10. Never talk to pi. He’ll go on forever.
    11. I just saw the movie American Pi. I gave it a rating of 3.14.
    12. What is 1.57?… Half a pie
    13. What do you get when you cut a jack o’lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi! (Top Halloween Jokes)
    14. What do you get when you take green cheese and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Moon Pi.
    15. What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Pi in the sky.
    16. What was Sir Isaac Newton’s favorite dessert?… Apple pi!
    17. What do we get when we take the object and order the rim by the diameter?…Pi in the sky by and by.
    18. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter?… Pi a’la mode.
    19. Come to the nerd side, we have pi!
    20. How far can you recite pi?… Cherry, Apple, Pecan, Blueberry…
    21. What famous private investigator solves math problem?… Magnum PI
    22. What do you get when you take a bovine and divide its circumference by its diameter?… A cow pi.
    23. A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all given identicalrubber balls and told to find the volume. They are given anything theywant to measure it, and have all the time they need. The mathematician pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference. He then divides by two times pi to get the radius, cubes that, multiplies by pi again, and then multiplies by four-thirds and thereby calculates the volume.The physicist gets a bucket of water, places 1.00000 gallons of water in the bucket, drops in the ball, and measures the displacement to six significant figures. And the engineer? He writes down the serial number of the ball, and looks it up.
    24. Albert Einstein‘s birthday was on Pi Day — March 14, 1879. Perhaps he served pie for his birthday instead of cake.
    25. What do you get when you take a native Alaskan and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Eskimo pi.
    26. Several Experts Several experts were all posed the following question: What is pi?
    • The engineer said: “It is approximately 3 and 1/7″
    • The physicist said: “It is 3.14159.”
    • The mathematician thought a bit, and replied “It is equal to pi.”
    • A nutritionist: “Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!”
  • The World's Best Pi Day Activity: Pi Day Challenge

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    The Pi Day Challenge is the #1 Pi Day Interactive! (It is a slice of Heaven!) Do you have enough math skills to pass the test: Click here to find out! http://www.pidaychallenge.com/ The Pi Day Challenge really is a slice of heaven for math teachers. March 14th (3.14) is the annual celebration of the number pi – 3.1415926. It is a day for math teachers to be creative and use 21st century resources to engage a new generation of math learners. (For more lesson ideas read our recent post 5 Amazing Websites to Prepare for the Pi Day Challenge The best interactive activity for math enthusiasts to celebrate Pi Day is the Pi Day Challenge! The opening page of the website explains: “The Pi Day Challenge is a series of puzzles that are logic-based. A team of logicians adapted or created these puzzles – some require research, some require mathematics, some require pure savvy.” There are 3 easy ways to accept the the Pi Day Challenge:
    1. Sign on with Facebook
    2. Enter an email address and password OR
    3. Register as a guest
    The Pi Day Challenge team wants students and adults around the world to be able to participate easily and hassle-free, that is why they created these very convenient and easy to use options. Teachers can use this 21st Century Learning activity in a variety of ways. Test your personal knowledge – These activities are very fun and challenging. The puzzles require you to think in a variety of ways. It may be that you judge the the Pi Day Challenge to be a great activity that is level appropriate for your students. No matter how a math teachers uses this activity, taking the challenge is an amazing opportunity to see how the Pi Day Challenge could be incorporated into your curriculum. Spend a class period in the computer room – If your school has the technology and availability, and your students have the skill and motivation, spend a class period working together or individually to solve the puzzles. Just step back and watch how students will creatively and cooperatively work to solve the problems. Solve the problems as a class – Although probably not the most ideal way to engage students, if you have access to a Smart Board / projector, you could complete some of the puzzles as a class. Using this method would work great with smaller class sizes. Perhaps you select a few of the puzzles that are most appropriate for your students’ abilities. Extra Credit – This is a final alternative if your school is technologically challenged. With this method you will engage your motivated students. You may not reach all your students, however the ones you do emgage will be completely passionate about finding the solutions. The Pi Day Challenge team uses a variety of ways to track the progress. The genius board is a listing of all the people who have completed the entire challenge. We have spoken with Matthew Plummer, the creator of the The Pi Day Challenge. We are hoping to have him provide a guest post in the future. As you can imagine, he and his team are extremely busy right now providing such an incredible resource for the entire mathematical community. If you enjoy this challenge, please consider making the small donation in celebration of Pi $3.14. He has invested years of his time developing this great challenge. He would love to be able to continue to provide The Pi Day Challenge in the future.

  • Pi Day Websites: Pi Day Websites for Teachers

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    Pi Day Jokes!
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    My Town Tutors: We are biased, but we do our best to share great resources for teachers! We list 101 Pi Day Jokes for Math Teachers & the Top Pi Day Jokes!
    1. The Exploratorium: The place where it all began. If you love Pi Day, this is the place for amazing events activities. They also have a shop with some unique gifts that might be of interest to math enthusiasts!

    Come visit us on March 14 (Pi Day) when we open our doors to the public for free. Please note: Pi Day activities are scheduled from 1:00 p.m. to 3:30 p.m.
    Welcome to the 26th annual Pi Day, the mathematical holiday founded at the Exploratorium and celebrated by number lovers around the world. To honor the never-ending number 3.14159… (and Einstein’s birthday), we’ll serve up π-themed activities, rituals, antics, and plenty of pie. Find out what’s so special about this famous mathematical constant, and take your (decimal) place in our annual march to the Pi Shrine!”
    2. The Pi Day Challenge: This is an amazing website! A must for any high school teacher.
    “March 14th is a fantastically mathematical day.  Pi Day. Accept the challenge. The Pi Day Challenge is a series of puzzles that are logic-based. A team of logicians adapted or created these puzzles – some require research, some require mathematics, some require pure savvy.”
    3. The National Council of Teachers of Mathematics: Math teachers need to connect with this account. It is an absolute amazing resource on Pi Day and every other day of the year.
    “Every year math enthusiasts everywhere celebrate pi, a celebrity among mathematical constants, on March 14 (3/14), also known as Pi Day. Extreme enthusiasts have a special celebration at 1:59 (aka, Pi Minute).”
    4. Edutopia: The George Lucas Foundation: What works in education. 7 great ideas for Pi Day!
    “Happy 3.14159265358979323846264 Day! That’s right, Pi Day is coming on 3/14, and the annual celebration offers a great opportunity for students to explore Pi! (And maybe enjoy some pie, as well.) Of course, there are plenty of great teaching resources online to help your class celebrate Pi Day, and we here at Edutopia thought we’d help.”
    5. Math Forum: Drexel University has great math resources for Pi Day and everyday of the year! A must for math teachers of all levels.
    “How many celebrations are there in your math class? Each year on March 14th many classrooms break from their usual routines to observe the festivities of Pi Day.
    6. Princeton Pi Day: Princeton has a great international great video contest open to all students on the planet.
    “1:59 p.m. Deadline for International Pi Day Princeton Video Contest Schools and individuals from all over the planet upload videos into YouTube and share the link toprincetonmimi@gmail.com.  All content must include celebration of Pi & Einstein’s Birthday and run less than 3.14 minutes.  Winning school or individual age 13 yrs and younger compete to win $314.159!”
    7. Pi Day: The #1 website for Pi Day T-shirts, Mugs, and Pins. Awesome for all math enthusiasts! Buy a t-shirt and help support My Town Tutors!
    “Pi Day is celebrated on March 14th (3/14) around the world. Pi (Greek letter “π”) is the symbol used in mathematics to represent a constant — the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter — which is approximately 3.14159.”
    8. Teach Pi: Any website committed to teaching Pi and math is all right in our book! Awesome for all math enthusiasts! (Buy a t-shirt and help support My Town Tutors!)

    “Welcome to TeachPi.org, the first and best place on the Web for teachers who want to find or share ideas for Pi Day activities, learning, and entertainment. We believe that promoting an enthusiasm for learning, through celebration and creativity, will lead only to a richer classroom environment and a deeper appreciation of mathematics.”
    9. National Education Association: We love the NEA and firmly beleive NEA Teachers are Great Tutors! We even offer a special rate for NEA members who tutor.

    “Teachers can find more than 50 activities to make Pi Day entertaining, educational, tasty, and fun at TeachPi.orgTeachPi.org links in other sites that let users explore Pi in other ways: search for number patterns in 200 million digits of Pi or approximate the value of Pi using Buffon’s Needle experiment.”
    10. IPractice Math: IPractice Math is a great resource for math teachers and math tutors. They have been our yearly sponsor of 101 Pi Day Jokes! We highly recommend this amazing website that offers FREE on-line math help!
    11. Pi Day 5K: Mathematical Running Fun: To counter the marvelously tasty pastry consumption, go for a run! The Pi Day 5K is an opportunity for runners and math enthusiasts to celebrate Pi Day by covering 3.1415 miles (or 5.05334 kilometers for those adherents of the metric system) under their own power. That’s about it—‘tis a fun reason to run!
    12. Scholastic: Scholastic is a great resource for K-12 every day of the year!
    “Fun math and geometry activities to celebrate the most useful irrational number on Pi Day, March 14!”
    “Every year on March 14, math lovers around the country celebrate pi. Some enthusiasts even go so far as to mark Pi Minute at 1:59, which takes into account the first six digits of the pi: 3.14159. Pi Day provides the perfect excuse for incorporating math and geometry into all aspects of the school day.”
    13. Mensa Education Foundation Educational Programs: A 13-page PDF document with some great lessons, ideas and resources for Pi Day.
    14. The World of Pi: European Pi (Approximation) Day is July 22. (22/7). Some great ideas from across the pond!
    “Although it is less famous than the Pi day (3/14 en notation anglaise), the Pi approximation day inspired Jean-Yves Degos: here is a picture , “Damien Hirst-like”, of the 272 first digits of Pi in base 12. The code for generating this beautiful art is in language Sage and availablehere. Many thanks to him and happy Pi approximation day!!”
    15. Education World: We love the great resources share by Education World every day of the year! Pi Day is no exception.

    “Teachers in many classrooms celebrate Pi Day this month. Pi — the number 3.14… — gets its own special day on 3/14, or March 14. EdWorld editors have gathered a collection of links to ideas and activities that will help you plan a Pi Day celebration for your classroom or school.
    If one day of the year screams Party! in math class, that day is March 14. Each year on 3/14, teachers in classrooms across the globe take a break from the normal routine to plan a special celebration in honor of pi, or the number 3.14…”
    16. Math Goodies: We love goodies of all kinds, especially educational goodies.

    “To prepare for these explorations, you will need to browse some lessons on circumference and area of circles. Next, you will engage in web-based inquiry to explore the meaning and history of Pi and calculations involving Pi. You will also explore the history of Pi Day and how it is celebrated. You can then celebrate Pi Day by engaging in online activities of your own choosing. Links to resources on Pi and Pi Day are provided. These tasks will require a computer, access to the web, paper and pencil.”
    17. Sesame Street: The Count Counts the digits of Pi: The Count is one of the earliest proponents of math. Watching the video may take a while, but it is worth it.
    We love Pi Day and have listed some great links via the #1 Resource for Pi Day the Exploratorium.
    Top Twitter Accounts for Pi Day

    1. ExploratoriumPi Day Activities
    2. National Council of Teachers of MathematicsSpecial Pi Day Ahead
    3. The Pi Day ChallengePi Day Challenge 2015
    4. My Town TutorsTop 25 Activities for Pi DayMarch Lessons for Teachers
    5. Princeton Pi Day
    6. Pi Day 5K:
    7. Teach PiPi Day Rap Lose Yourself in the Digits
    8. Exam ElfExam Elf Helps Students Face Exams with Confidence
    9. Drexel Math Forum Ask Dr. Math: About Pi
    10. Pi Day
    11. Pi Day Marseille
    12. Pi Through the Ages
    13. Project Mathematics: Video Pi
    14. Pot Pourri Pi
    15. If all you need is the first million digits …What Value Do You Get?
    16. Pi, ArcTangent, and the Fibbonacci Numbers
    17. Happy Pi Day to You
    18. Pi Day Greeting Cards
    19. Top ln(e^10) reasons why e is better than Pi
    20. Mnemonic Odes to Pi
    21. A Piece of Pi (violin music)

     

  • Pi Day Jokes: Top Pi Day Jokes

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    TRY THE PI DAY CHALLENGE! IT IS AWESOME!

    Top 10 Seasonal Jokes!A GREAT advertising opportunity! 365 Sports Jokes!
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    IPractice Math is a great resource for parents and teachers! It offers learning topics in Algebra, Calculus, Decimals, Fractions, and Consumer Math. Teachers and independent learners can register. here to register.


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    101 Pi Day Jokes for Teachers!

    Pi Day Jokes (11)

    1. 3.14% of Sailors are PI rates! (Top Pirate Jokes)
    2. Mathematician: “Pi r squared” Baker:” No! Pies are round, cakes are square!
    3. In Alaska, where it gets very cold, pi is only 3.00. As you know, everything shrinks in the cold. They call it Eskimo pi.
    4. What is a math teacher’s favourite dessert?… Pi! (Find a U.S. math teacher who tutors!)
    5. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s was Sir Cumference… He ate too much Pi!
    6. What is the official animal of Pi Day?… the PI – thon!
    7. Never talk to pi. He’ll go on forever.
    8. What do you get when you cut a jack o’lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi! (Top Halloween Jokes)
    9. What do you get when you take green cheese and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Moon Pi.
    10. What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Pi in the sky.
    11. What do we get when we take the object and order the rim by the diameter?…Pi in the sky by and by.
    12. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter?… Pi a’la mode.
    13. I just saw the movie American Pi. I gave it a rating of 3.14.
    14. Come to the nerd side, we have pi!
    15. What was Sir Isaac Newton’s favorite dessert?… Apple pi!
    16. How far can you recite pi? Cherry, Apple, Pecan, Blueberry…
    17. The worst thing about getting hit in the face with pi is that it never ends.
    18. How many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie?… 3.14.
    19. What famous private investigator solves math problem?… Magnum PI
    20. What do you get when you take a bovine and divide its circumference by its diameter?… A cow pi.
    21. What is 1.57?… Half a pie
    22. A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all given identicalrubber balls and told to find the volume. They are given anything theywant to measure it, and have all the time they need. The mathematician pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference. He then divides by two times pi to get the radius, cubes that, multiplies by pi again, and then multiplies by four-thirds and thereby calculates the volume.The physicist gets a bucket of water, places 1.00000 gallons of water in the bucket, drops in the ball, and measures the displacement to six significant figures. And the engineer? He writes down the serial number of the ball, and looks it up.
    23. Albert Einstein‘s birthday was on Pi Day — March 14, 1879. Perhaps he served pie for his birthday instead of cake.
    24. What is the ideal number of pieces to cut a pie into?… 3.14
    25. What do you get when you take a native Alaskan and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Eskimo pi.
    26. Several Experts Several experts were all posed the following question: What is pi?
    • The engineer said: “It is approximately 3 and 1/7”
    • The physicist said: “It is 3.14159.”
    • The mathematician thought a bit, and replied “It is equal to pi.”
    • A nutritionist: “Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!”


    Math Riddles (14)

    1. Why should you never mention the number 288 in front of anyone?… Because it is too gross (2 x 144 – two gross).
    2. How is the moon like a dollar?… They both have 4 quarters.
    3. How can you add eight 8′s to get the number 1,000? (only using addition) A: 888 +88 +8 +8 +8 = 1,000
    4. How many eggs can you put in an empty basket? … Only one, after that the basket is not empty.
    5. Where can you buy a ruler that is 3 feet long?… At a yard sale
    6. When things go wrong, what can you always count on?… Your fingers.
    7. What coin doubles in value when half is deducted?… A half dollar.
    8. Why are diapers like 100 dollar bills?… They need to be changed.
    9. What goes up and never comes down?… Your Age
    10. Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches long?… Otherwise it would be a foot.
    11. Why do they never serve beer at a math party?… Because you can’t drink and derive…
    12. Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?… Because it had more cents.
    13. Why is 6 afraid of 7?…  Because 7 8(ate) 9
    14. What is a proof?… One-half percent of alcohol.

    Geometry Jokes (33)


    1. What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of mount everest?… A high-pot-in-use
    2. What do you call a crushed angle?…. A Rectangle (wrecked angle)
    3. What did the baby tree say when it looked in a mirror?… Gee-Om-A-Tree.
    4. What do you get when you cross geometry with McDonalds?… A plane cheeseburger.
    5. Why did I divide sin by tan?… Just cos.
    6. What shape is usually waiting for you at Stabucks?… A line.
    7. Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?… because it was over 90 degrees.
    8. What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?…
    9. Nothing! You know you can’t cross a scalar and a vector.
    10. What did the acorn say when he grew up?… Gee, I’m A Tree!
    11. Why does nobody talk to circles?… Because there is no point!
    12. What do you call an angle which is adorable?… acute angle
    13. What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?… Hexagon
    14. Who invented the Round Table?… Sir Cumference.
    15. Which triangles are the coldest?… Ice-sosceles triangles.
    16. What do people who whine a lot and 3 points have in common?… They are both coplaners
    17. How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie?… 3.142
    18. What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?… Geometry
    19. What do you call people who like tractors?… Protractors
    20. Why were the similar triangles weighing themselves?… They were finding their scale.
    21. Why won’t the circles invite the ellipses over for dinner?… They are too eccentric.
    22. Why did the 30-60-90 triangle marry the 45-45-90 triangle?… They were right for each other.
    23. Why is a geometry book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
    24. Why is Ms. Radian such a good reporter?… She covers the story from every angle.
    25. Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?… His parents wouldn’t cosine
    26. Where do circles, ellipses, hyperbolas and parabolas like to hang out in the summer?… Coney Island.
    27. Why didn’t the chicken cross to the other side of the inequality?… It couldn’t get past the boundary line.
    28. Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi
    29. Why was the parent function upset with its child?… It was stretched to its limit.
    30. What is a proof?.. One-half percent of alcohol.
    31. Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?… Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
    32. What did one geometry book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
    33. What do you call a broken record?… A Decca-gone


    Calculus Jokes (21)

    1. Why do they never serve beer at a math party?… Because you can’t drink and derive…
    2. Why won’t Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it? It’s too cubed.
    3. What’s the integral of (1/cabin)d(cabin)?… A natural log cabin!
    4. What is the first derivative of a cow?… Prime Rib!
    5. What is the value of the contour integral around Western Europe?… Zero. Why?
    6. Because all poles are in Eastern Europe!
    7. How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children?… “I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…”
    8. What is polite and works for the phone company?… A deferential operator.
    9. Why was the parent function upset with its child?… It was stretched to its limit.
    10. Did you hear the joke about the statistician?… Probably
    11. What wild animal is good at calculus?… The tangent lion.
    12. Why is a calculus book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
    13. Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?… He was better at fitting curves than hitting them.
    14. Why was the function so bent out of shape?… It’s regression model was too tight a fit.
    15. What is the integral of log cabin d cabin?…Log Cabin + sea = houseboat.
    16. Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?… Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
    17. What did one calculus book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
    18. What’s yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice?… Zorn’s Lemon.
    19. Why did the algebra students throw bottles of hand cream across the classroom?… They were investigating projectile lotion.
    20. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a zebra?…  Elephant zebra sin theta.
    21. Why is it that the more accuracy you demand from an interpolation function, the more expensive it becomes to compute?… That’s the Law of Spline Demand.


    Algebra Jokes (22)

    1. Why was the student afraid of the y-intercept?… She thought she’d be stung by the b.
    2. Who invented algebra?… A Clever X-pert.
    3. What do you call mall friends who love math? alge “bros”
    4. Why won’t Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?… It’s too cubed.
    5. What do you get when you cross an algebra class with the prom?… The quadratic formal.
    6. What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?… Nothing! You know you can’t cross a scalar and a vector.
    7. Why is an algebra book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
    8. Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?… Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
    9. What is purple and commutative?… An abelian grape
    10. What shape is usually waiting for you at Stabucks?…  A line.
    11. Why did the relation need a math tutor? … It failed the vertical-line test.
    12. How can a fisherman determine how many fish he needs to catch to make a profit?… By using a cod-ratic inequality.
    13. Why did the imaginary number turn red?… It ran out of i-drops.
    14. What does the little mermaid wear?… An algae-bra.
    15. How does a ghost solve a quadratic equation?… By completing the scare.
    16. What is a proof?… One-half percent of alcohol.
    17. What did algebra math book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
    18. What is the definition of a polar bear?… A rectangular bear after a coordinate transformation
    19. Why did all the apples in the fruit bowl know each other?… They were core-relations.
    20. Why was the matrix arrested?… Illegal entry.
    21. What do you call a rodent with babies?… A quad-rat-ic parent.
    22. What do you get when you cross a linebacker with a computer geek?… A linear programmer.
  • National Cereal Day Jokes: Top Cereal Jokes

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    Top 3 Joke Pages

    1. 180 School Jokes
    2. Clean Jokes
    3. 365 Family Friendly Jokes

    Top 10 Seasonal Jokes!A GREAT advertising opportunity!
    Check out the March hashtag of the day! Jokes for Special Days of the Year!

    180 School Jokes

    March 7th is National Cereal Day! Have a laugh with your breakfast!

    1. How did Reese eat her cereal?… Witherspoon.
    2. Did you hear about Tony The Tiger’s murder?… Police suspect a cereal killer.
    3. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?… Frosted Flakes. (Top Winter Jokes)
    4. What do bees eat for breakfast?… Honeycomb.
    5. What does a ghost put on his cereal in the morning?… Boonanas and Booberries! (Top Halloween Jokes)
    6. Why do the a bad College football program eat cereal straight from the box?… They choke whenever they get near a bowl. (Top Football Jokes)
    7. What is a cheerleader’s favorite cereal?… Cheerios! (Top Cheerleading Jokes)
    8. How does Salvador Dali start his mornings?… With a bowl of “Surreal”
    9. What do cats eat for breakfast?… Mice Krispies. (Top Cat Jokes)
    10. Warning! Count Chocula is on the loose! Looks like we have a cereal killer on our hands.
    11. What do you call a person that chops up cereal… A cereal killer.
    12. What do you call a monster who poisons corn flakes?… A cereal killer.
    13. What are crisp, like milk and go “snap, crackle, squeak” when you eat them?… Mice Krispies!
    14. What does a pirate eat for breakfast?… Captain Crunch. (Top Pirate Jokes & 101 Pi Day Jokes)
    15. What cereal is worth its weight in gold?… Golden Grahams.
    16. When Chuck Norris pours milk on his Rice Krispies… They keep quiet. (Milk Day Jokes)

     

  • Grammar Jokes

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    1. With all the political debate raging in the U.S. right now, I thought it would be constructive to briefly review the first article in the Constitution. It’s “the.”
    2. What’s another name for Santa’s elves?… Subordinate Clauses. (Top Christmas Jokes)
    3. What is Black and white and read (red) all over?… A newspaper
    4. What letter of the alphabet has got lots of water?… The “C”
    5. What letter of the alphabet is always waiting in order?… The “Q.” (queue)
    6. What begins with T, ends with T and has T in it?… A teapot.
    7. A word in this sentence is misspelled. What word is it?… Misspelled.
    8. Which letters do Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday have in common?… None! None of them have “c”, “o”,”m” or “n” in them.
    9. What’s the longest word in the dictionary?… Rubber-band — because it stretches.
    10. One night a man and a woman walked into the bar they left. Who remains?… The night
    11. How do you get ten English teachers to agree on the best teaching method?… Shoot nine of them.
    12. What English Word Begin and End with the same 3 letters?… Underground
    13. What’s an English teacher’s favorite nation?… Expla-nation.
    14. Name a bus you can never enter?… A syllabus
    15. What is the longest word in the English language?… Smiles. (There is a mile between the first letter and the last letter.)
    16. If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.
    17. If practice makes perfect, but no one is perfect then why practice?
    18. If the pen is mightier than the sword, then why do actions speak louder than words?
    19. If two wrongs don’t make a right, then why does a double negative make a positive?
    20. It’s good to be awesome, so why is it bad to be aw”ful”?
    21. If Horrible and Horrific are the same things, then why are terrible and terrific opposites?
    22. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… To… To who?… It’s to whom, you illiterate fool.source: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/schooljokes/grammarjokes.html
  • World Book Day Jokes: Top 10 World Book Day Jokes

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    World Book Day Jokes

    1. My father gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday… I couldn’t find the words to thank him.
    2. What did one book say to the other one?… I just wanted to see if we are on the same page.
    3. What do you do if pet starts eating your library book?… Take the words right out of their mouth.
    4. What do librarians hang over their babies’ cribs?… Bookmobiles.
    5. What has a spine but no bones?… A book.
    6. Why did the Rumanian stop reading for the night?… To give his Bucharest (book a rest). (Top Geography Jokes)
    7. Any book with George Washington’s writing in it is worth thousands of dollars. Any book with my writing in it is worth two weeks of detention.
    8. What would you get if you crossed a locomotive with the author of Tom Sawyer?… A choo choo Twain. (Top Mark Twain Quotes)
    9. How did the author of Tom Sawyer learn to ride a bicycle?… With Twain ing wheels. (Top Mark Twain Quotes)
    10. What happened when the bloodhound wrote his autobiography?… It got on the best smeller list.
    11. What books were ordered from Prague?… Czech (check) books. (Top Geography Jokes)
    12. Which mythological character carried the maps?… Atlas. (Top Geography Jokes)
    13. What was the name of the book about a trio of adventurous French cows?… The Three Moo sketeers. (Top Geography Jokes)
    14. What book is about a rodent pioneer?… “Little Mouse on the Prairie.” (Top Geography Jokes)
    15. What did they call Tom Sawyer’s friend after he lost a lot of weight?… “Huckleberry thin (Finn).” (Top Mark Twain Quotes)
    16. Why was the library so messy?… Because it was full of litter ature.
    17. What would you get if you crossed a comedian and an Edgar Allan Poe story?… The wit and the pendulum.
    18. Did you read the dachshund’s autobiography?… It’s a long story.
    19. Why doesn’t the Grinch like knock knock jokes?… Because there’s always Whos there! (Top Dr. Seuss Jokes)
    20. What Dr. Suess baseball book was never published?… “The Cat at Bat!” (Top Baseball Jokes)
    21. What is Sam-I-am’s middle name?… “I” (Top Dr. Seuss Jokes)
    22. What book does the “Cat in the Hat” hate?… Go Dogs Go! (Top Dr. Seuss Jokes)
    23. Librarian: Why don’t you take home a Dr. Seuss? Pupil: I didn’t know he made house calls. (Top Dr. Seuss Jokes)
    24. Teacher: How many books did you finish over the summer? Pupil: None. My brother stole my box of crayons.
    25. What made you laugh?… From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter.  Some day I intend reading it.
    26. Teacher: Why are you holding your textbook up to the window Pupil: You told me to open it up to the Middle East. (Top Geography Jokes)
    27. Why did the vampire check out a drawing book?… He wanted to learn how to draw blood. (Top Halloween Jokes)
    28. How can you tell if an elephant checked out a book before you did?… When you open it, peanut shells fall out.
    29. What reference book should you use when you forget your shovel?… The dig-tionary.
    30. Librarian: Why don’t you take home a Dr. Seuss? Pupil: I didn’t know he made house calls.
    31. Teacher: What does your history book tell you about the Civil War? Pupil: It doesn’t tell me anything. I have to read the dumb thing. (Top Civil War Jokes)
    32. If you don’t know what the word “dictionary” means, where would you look it up?
    33. Teacher: Tell the class what book you read. Pupil: Black Beauty. Teacher:And tell the class what it was about. Pupil: It was about 120 pages.
    34. All of my schoolbooks have pictures in them, even if I have to draw them myself.
    35. My teacher caught me drawing in my American Revolution textbook. She said, “What do you think you’re doing?” I said, “Making my mark in history.” (Top 4th of July Jokes)
    36. One of my teachers said that I should hand in my books at the end of the year better than when I got them. What does he want me to do, add pages?
    37. My teacher told us that books are man’s best friend, so my dog bit him.
    38. My teacher says we should treat our schoolbooks just like we treat one another. So after school, I picked a fight with my History book. (Top Mother’s Day Jokes)
    39. Mother: How come you never bring any books home? Son: Mom, they’re schoolbooks, not home books. (Top Mother’s Day JokesTop Moms on Twitter)
    40. My lunch leaked all over my schoolbooks. I now have the only geography book where the map of Turkey is covered with gravy. (Top Geography Jokes)
    41. We have to carry heavy books home, then we have to carry heavy books back to school in the morning. If the authorities knew this was going to happen, why didn’t they build the school closer to us?
    42. What do Peter Pan and noon have in common?… Neither have a shadow.
    43. Librarian: Did you enjoy reading The Hunchback of Notre Dame? Pupil: Well, I read the first 100 pages, then I found out it wasn’t about football.
    44. Our school library is so quiet you can hear a pin drop and if it does; the pin will be sent to the principal’s office.
    45. Teacher: How many books have you read in your lifetime? Pupil: I don’t know. I’m not dead yet.
    46. Teacher: What did you learn from your history book about Harriet Beecher Stowe? Pupil: If you draw a beard and a stovepipe hat on her, she looks exactly like Abraham Lincoln.
    47. Our school librarian is very strict. She’ll send you to the principal’s office for thinking too loudly.
    48. Our school library is so quiet, when I’m sitting in there, I can hear my hair grow
    49. Teacher: Tell the class what book you read and then tell them something about the plot. Pupil: I read “The Life of Thomas Jefferson.” He dies at the end.
    50. My teacher says our schoolbooks are a magic carpet that will take us all over the world. I took mine to the garage and had them fitted with seat belts.
    51. Teacher: Tell the class what book you read and what you thought of it. Pupil: I read the phone book, but I didn’t understand it. It had too many characters.
    52. Librarian: Did you enjoy reading Moby Dick? Pupil: I couldn’t finish it. I got seasick.
    53. Pupil: Do you have Oliver Twist in hard cover? Librarian: Yes, we do. Pupil:Well, let him out; he’s a friend of mine.
    54. Son: Dad, my teacher says I should have an encyclopedia. Father: Nonsense, you’ll walk to school the same as I did.
    55. The only thing I hate worse than carrying a lot of schoolbooks home is having to open them once I get there.
    56. Teacher: Who is your favorite author? Pupil: George Washington. Teacher: But George Washington never wrote any books. Pupil: You got it. (Top George Washington Quotes)
    57. Pupil: Do you have Moby Dick? Librarian: Yes, we do. Pupil: I thought something smelled fishy in here.
    58. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We promise for find the best Dr. Suess jokes!  more good seasonal jokes and hundreds of Top U.S. Teachers who TutorFind one today
    59. Hey, you know I am writing a novel…. I can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
    60. What do you wear to show you care that it’s Dr. Seuss’ birthday on this early March winter day?… a hat! (Top Dr. Seuss Jokes)

     
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    Theodor Seuss Geisel Award Winners: 40 Great Books for Kids
     

  • Reading Jokes: Read Across America Jokes

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    Top 10 Seasonal Jokes!: A GREAT advertising opportunity!

    1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We promise for find the best Dr. Suess jokes!  more good seasonal jokes and hundreds of Top U.S. Teachers who Tutor! Find one today!
    2. Why doesn’t the Grinch like knock knock jokes?… Because there’s always Whos there!
    3. What Dr. Suess baseball book was never published?… “The Cat at Bat!” (Top Baseball Jokes)
    4. What is Sam-I-am’s middle name?… “I”
    5. What book does the “Cat in the Hat” hate?… Go Dogs Go!
    6. Librarian: Why don’t you take home a Dr. Seuss? Pupil: I didn’t know he made house calls.
    7. What do you wear to show you care that it’s Dr. Seuss’ birthday on this early March winter day?… a hat!

    World Book Day Jokes

    1. TEACHER: How many books did you finish over the summer? PUPIL: None. My brother stole my box of crayons.
    2. My father gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday… I couldn’t find the words to thank him.
    3. What did one book say to the other one?… I just wanted to see if we are on the same page.
    4. What made you laugh?… From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter.  Some day I intend reading it.
    5. What do you do if pet starts eating your library book?… Take the words right out of their mouth.
    6. TEACHER: Why are you holding your textbook up to the window PUPIL: You told me to open it up to the Middle East.
    7. Hey, you know I am writing a novel…. I can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
    8. Why did the vampire check out a drawing book?… He wanted to learn how to draw blood.
    9. How can you tell if an elephant checked out a book before you did?… When you open it, peanut shells fall out.
    10. What reference book should you use when you forget your shovel?… The dig-tionary.
    11. Teacher: Who is your favorite author? Pupil: George Washington. Teacher: But George Washington never wrote any books. Pupil: You got it.
    12. Librarian: Why don’t you take home a Dr. Seuss? Pupil: I didn’t know he made house calls.
    13. Teacher: How many books have you read in your lifetime? Pupil: I don’t know. I’m not dead yet.
    14. Teacher: What did you learn from your history book about Harriet Beecher Stowe? Pupil: If you draw a beard and a stovepipe hat on her, she looks exactly like Abraham Lincoln.
    15. Teacher: What does your history book tell you about the Civil War? Pupil: It doesn’t tell me anything. I have to read the dumb thing. (Top Civil War Jokes)
    16. My father gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday. I couldn’t find the words to thank him.
    17. If you don’t know what the word “dictionary” means, where would you look it up?
    18. Our school librarian is very strict. She’ll send you to the principal’s office for thinking too loudly.
    19. Our school library is so quiet, when I’m sitting in there, I can hear my hair grow Pupil: Do you have Moby Dick? Librarian: Yes, we do. Pupil: I thought something smelled fishy in here.
    20. Librarian: Did you enjoy reading Moby Dick? Pupil: I couldn’t finish it. I got seasick.
    21. Pupil:Do you have Oliver Twist in hard cover? Librarian: Yes, we do. Pupil: Well, let him out; he’s a friend of mine.
    22. Teacher: Tell the class what book you read. Pupil: Black Beauty. Teacher: And tell the class what it was about. Pupil: It was about 120 pages.
    23. Librarian: Did you enjoy reading The Hunchback of Notre Dame? Pupil: Well, I read the first 100 pages, then I found out it wasn’t about football.
    24. Our school library is so quiet you can hear a pin drop and if it does; the pin will be sent to the principal’s office.
    25. Teacher: Tell the class what book you read and what you thought of it. Pupil: I read the phone book, but I didn’t understand it. It had too many characters
    26. Teacher: Tell the class what book you read and then tell them something about the plot. Pupil: I read “The Life of Thomas Jefferson.” He dies at the end.
    27. My teacher says our schoolbooks are a magic carpet that will take us all over the world. I took mine to the garage and had them fitted with seat belts.
    28. All of my schoolbooks have pictures in them, even if I have to draw them myself.
    29. My teacher caught me drawing in my American Revolution textbook. She said, “What do you think you’re doing?” I said, “Making my mark in history.” (Top 4th of July Jokes)
    30. One of my teachers said that I should hand in my books at the end of the year better than when I got them. What does he want me to do, add pages?
    31. My teacher told us that books are man’s best friend, so my dog bit him.
    32. My teacher says we should treat our schoolbooks just like we treat one another. So after school, I picked a fight with my History book. (Top Mother’s Day Jokes)
    33. Mother: How come you never bring any books home? Son: Mom, they’re schoolbooks, not home books. (Top Mother’s Day Jokes & Top Moms on Twitter)
    34. Son: Dad, my teacher says I should have an encyclopedia. Father: Nonsense, you’ll walk to school the same as I did.
    35. The only thing I hate worse than carrying a lot of schoolbooks home is having to open them once I get there.
    36. Any book with George Washington’s writing in it is worth thousands of dollars. Any book with my writing in it is worth two weeks of detention.
    37. My lunch leaked all over my schoolbooks. I now have the only geography book where the map of Turkey is covered with gravy. (Top Geography Jokes)
    38. We have to carry heavy books home, then we have to carry heavy books back to school in the morning. If the authorities knew this was going to happen, why didn’t they build the school closer to us?
    39. What do librarians hang over their babies’ cribs?… Bookmobiles.
    40. What has a spine but no bones?… A book.
    41. Why did the Rumanian stop reading for the night?… To give his Bucharest (book a rest).
    42. Why was the library so messy?… Because it was full of litter ature.
    43. What would you get if you crossed a comedian and an Edgar Allan Poe story?… The wit and the pendulum.
    44. What would you get if you crossed a locomotive with the author of Tom Sawyer?… A choo choo Twain. (Top Mark Twain Quotes)
    45. How did the author of Tom Sawyer learn to ride a bicycle?… With Twain ing wheels. (Top Mark Twain Quotes)
    46. Did you read the dachshund’s autobiography?… It’s a long story.
    47. What happened when the bloodhound wrote his autobiography?… It got on the best smeller list.
    48. What books were ordered from Prague?… Czech (check) books. (Top Geography Jokes)
    49. Which mythological character carried the maps?… Atlas. (Top Geography Jokes)
    50. What was the name of the book about a trio of adventurous French cows?… The Three Moo sketeers. (Top Geography Jokes)
    51. What book is about a rodent pioneer?… “Little Mouse on the Prairie.” (Top Geography Jokes)
    52. What did they call Tom Sawyer’s friend after he lost a lot of weight?… “Huckleberry thin (Finn).” (Top Mark Twain Quotes)
    53. What do Peter Pan and noon have in common?… Neither have a shadow. (Top Mark Twain Quotes)
  • Pancake Day Jokes: Top Pancake Day Jokes

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    Top 10 Seasonal Jokes

    1. Did you hear about the angry pancake?… He just flipped. (Top Psychology Jokes)
    2. What did the young pancake say to the old burnt pancake?… I don’t like your flip side. (Top Grandparents Day Jokes)
    3. What do the New York Yankees and pancakes have in common?… They both need a good batter! (Top Baseball Jokes)
    4. How do you make a pancake smile?… Butter him up. (180 School Jokes)
    5. What’s the best pancake topping?… More pancakes.
    6. How do elves eat their pancakes?… In short stacks. (Top Christmas Jokes)
    7. How do leprechauns eat their pancakes?… In short stacks. (Top St. Patrick Day Jokes)
    8. When the little boy was making pancakes why did the batter run away?… Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
    9. Did you know today is Pancake day, apparently it just creped up on us..
    10. Thin French pancakes give me the crepes.  
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    101 Pi Day Jokes for Math Teachers


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    Top Jokes for Chemistry Teachers!

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