Air Force Jokes

by | May 20, 2024 | Latest News, School Jokes

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  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Air Force jokes.
  2. Air Force Fact: The only time you can have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.
  3. Air Force pilot: This is it! We’re flying faster than the speed of sound! Copilot: What?
  4. An Airman and a Marine walk into the restroom at the same time. The Airman finishes up and heads out. When the Marine is finished, he washes his hands and then catches up to the Airman. “Hey, buddy. In the Marines, they teach us to wash our hands after we take a leak.” The airman responds, “In the Air Force, they teach us not to pee on our hands.” 
  5. A US Air Force drill instructor stood in front of his new recruits. “Recruit Bains!” He yelled. “Where did you enlist?” “In California, sir,” Bains replied. “There was an Air Force recruiting station next to a Navy recruiting station.” “Then why,” the D.I. asked, “Did you choose the Air Force?” “Because, sir,” Bains answered. “What goes up must come down, but what goes down doesn’t always come back up.”
  6. There’s an Air Force guy driving from Wagga to Richmond, and an Army guy driving from Richmond to Wagga. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Air Force guy manages to climb out of his car and surveys the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says,”Man, I am really lucky to be alive!” Likewise the Army guy scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, “I can’t believe I survived this wreck!” The Army guy walks over to the Air Force guy and says, “Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of archrivals” The Air Force guy thinks for a moment and says, “You know, you’re absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I’m gonna see what else survived this wreck” So the Air Force guy pops open his boot and finds a full, unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Army guy, “I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship” The Army guy replies, “You’re damn right!” and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly half the bottle the Army guy hands it back to the Air Force guy and says, “Your turn!” The Air Force guy twists the cap back on the bottle and says, “Nahh, I think I’ll wait for the cops to show up.”
  7. Did you hear that the Air Force just bought a bunch of copies of The Little Mermaid on DVD? They must be preparing for an Ariel assault.
  8. Which branch of the United States military is the most patriotic?… The Air Force; they’re US AF
  9. On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.
  10. A military function is being held where all officers of the Army, Navy and the Air force are present. The Army and Navy officers were describing the Air force as the Cinderella of the military. To this, the Air force officer replied” I don’t know a lot about Cinderella except the fact that she had two ugly sisters.”
  11. A mother traveled across the country to watch her only son get married and graduate from the air force on the exact same day. “Thank you for coming,” the son said. “It means so much.” “Of course I’d be here,” the mother replied. “It’s not every day a mom watches her son get his wings and have them clipped all in one day.”
  12. The entire Dutch air force was disabled this week… The pilot was sick.
  13. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, “What time is it?” The tower responded, “Who is calling?” The aircraft replied, “What difference does it make?” The tower replied, “It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o’clock. If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it’s Thursday afternoon.”
  14. Dad Jokes: Dad: You wanna join the Navy? You can’t even swim! Son: No one can fly in the Air Force either.
  15. Air Force One now gets a new Code name!… The COVID Express!
  16. My grandfather was in the air force in the Second World War, surviving over 30 combat missions in hostile airspace. He was by far the worst pilot of the entire Kamikaze corps.
  17. The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker among themselves, is that, they don’t speak the same language. For instance, take the simple phrase – Secure the building. The Army would post guards around the place. The Navy would turn out the lights and lock the doors. The Marines would kill everyone inside and set up headquarters. The Air Force would take out a five year lease with an option to buy.
  18. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Air Force?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself!
  19. Why I Joined the Air Force
  20. The DOD was conducting an all service briefing and the leader posed this question. “What would you do if you found a scorpion in your tent?” A sailor said, “I’d step on it.” A soldier said, “I’d squash it with my boot. A marine said, I’d catch it, break the stinger off, and eat it.” An Airman said. “I’d call room service and find out why there’s a tent in my room.”
  21. Barber Jokes: Where do American soldiers go to get a haircut?… They go to the Hair Force!
  22. Looney Tunes Jokes: Where did Bugs Bunny learn to fly?… The hare force.
  23. Deer Jokes: What do you call a deer enlisted in the Air Force?… A bombardeer.
  24. I became a chef after I left the Air Force… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran.
  25. How do you play Air Force Bingo?… “A-10… B-52… F-16!”
  26. Did you know you can’t eat ice cream in the Air Force?… Apparently you get arrested for desserting.
  27. “So, why did you join the air force?” “My doctor said that I have a vitamin deficiency and need more B2 in my life, so, …here I am.”
  28. What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?… Absent without leaf.
  29. How many Air Force pilots does it take to change a light bulb?… One. He just holds it while the world revolves around him.
  30. What do you call a large formation of MAC aircraft?… A Big Mac Attack.
  31. Where do rabbits learn to fly?… The hare force.
  32. Just because there are no complaints, doesn’t all mean parachutes are perfect.
  33. What’s the difference between God and an Air Force pilot?… God doesn’t think he’s a fighter pilot.
  34. What do you call a house with an ice cream sundae on top?… Beats me… “Desserted!”
  35. Why did the airman stuff himself with ice cream?… He was a desserter. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  36. An ice cream, a creme brulee, and a slice of cheesecake joined the Air Force, but they abandoned their fellow airman on their first deployment They are wanted for dessertion. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  37. Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings!
  38. There was a bad accident at the Air Force base… A jeep ran over a bag of popcorn and killed two kernels.
  39. Emergency management: “Always remember that if one engine fails on a dual-engine plane, you’ll still have enough power to safely reach the scene of the crash.”
  40. A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church when the pastor noticed him. “What are you looking at?” asked the clergyman. “All those names. Who are they?” the boy asked. The pastor nodded, and said, “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service.” The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?”
  41. My buddy in the Air Force got injured in the war… He fell off his chair.
  42. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moomorial day. (Cow Jokes)
  43. What do pilots and air traffic controllers have in common?… If pilots screw up, they die. If air traffic controllers screw up, pilots also die.
  44. How do you know when your date with a fighter pilot is halfway over? He says, “Enough about me. Want to hear about my plane?”
  45. How do you know if there’s an Air Force pilot at your party? Oh, don’t worry. He’ll tell you as soon as he walks in.
  46. Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even. (Zombie Jokes)
  47. Air Force airman can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the navy can fathom it.
  48. Why did the Air Force test pilot decide to work for USPS after retiring from the service? Because she still enjoyed pushing the envelope.
  49. What did the Navy say to the airman?… “I’ll SEAL you later.” (Seal Jokes & Coast Guard Jokes)
  50. I became a chef after I left the Air Force. Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. (Labor Day Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes)
  51. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Air Force ?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself!
  52. What happens when you eat too many Air Force beans?… You might end up with a dishonorable discharge.
  53. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Air Force knock-knock joke?
  54. Each branch has a military ball And it warms my heart to know that one branch will be having “Space Balls” from here on out.
  55. Why are there no knock knock jokes about the American Air Force?… Because freedom rings!
  56. What do you call a Marine wearing an Air Force uniform?… Artificial intelligence.
  57. Why are color blind people not allowed to join the Air Force?… Because they won’t know who they’re supposed to bomb.
  58. What’s the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine?… A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.
  59. Why does the north Korean navy have glass bottom boats? So they can see their air Force.