Michigan Jokes

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• Michigan Knock Knock Jokes
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1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Michigan jokes.
2. What do you call someone from Detroit, Michigan who talks a lot?… A Motor City mouth!
3. Friday the 13th Jokes: What Great Lake should you avoid on Friday the 13th?… Lake Erie.
4. Canada Jokes: In Michigan’s Upper Peninsula they have a program for recovering Canadians… It’s called Eh Eh.
5. Doctor Jokes: 9 out of 10 doctors reccomend that children drink water instead of soda… The 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.
6. Canada Jokes: I was driving in Michigan and saw a sign at the border in Detroit that said “Canada Dry.” I really wanted a drink… so I turned around and went home.
7. Survivor Jokes: What city in Michigan would do great in a Survivor fire challenge?… Flint.
8. Boston Celtics Jokes: What appliance was seldom used in New England in the 1980s when the Celtics played the Detroit Pistons?… The Microwave.
9. Peanut Butter Jokes: What do you get when you put jelly into Flint, Michigan’s water supply?… Pb & J.
10. Covid Jokes: People are crazy in Michigan; protesting Covid-19 despite being one of the hardest hit states?… There must be something in the water.
11.  What’s the difference between water and gasoline in Flint Michigan?… You can get gasoline that is unleaded. 
12. What does the W in Flint, Michigan stand for? … Water    
13. Have you heard about Michigan’s music scene?… I hear there’s a lot of heavy metal in Flint. 
14. Illinois has corn, Wisconsin has cheese, what does Michigan have?… Lead poisoning.
15. Michigan Lawyer: “So you want me to defend you? Have you got any money?” Defendant: “No sir. I ain’t got no money, but I do get a 1928 Ford Car!” Lawyer: “Well you can raise money on that. Now let’s see, just what do they accuse you of stealing?” Client: “A 1928 Ford Car.”  
16. Biden has won so many times in Michigan… now he’s legally required to change his name to Ohio State.
17. What state is Lake Michigan in?… Liquid. 
18. What state is Lake Superior in?… Liquid. 
19. What state is Lake Huron in?… Liquid. 
20. What state is Lake Erie in?… Liquid. 
21. What is the scariest Great Lake?… Lake Erie.
22. What is the most stuck-up Great Lake?… Lake Superior.
23. Michigan has updated their social distancing guidelines. Residents are now asked to stay one oars-length away from one another.
24. Snow Jokes: What do you call on-again off-again snow in Michigan?… Inter-mitten.
25. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March… you might live in Michigan.
26. If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by… you might live in Michigan. 
27. If you’re proud that your region makes the national news 101 nights each year because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation… you might live in Michigan.
28. If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year… you might live in Michigan. 
29. If you have worn shorts and a coat at the same time…  you might live in Michigan.    
30. The Lion King is the best way that people from Michigan can see a group of Lions come together and win.       
31. Marriage Jokes & Divorce Jokes: Michigan is leading in rates of both marital infidelity and depression… It’s a sad state of affairs.  
32. Michigan summers are amazing…. It was on a Wednesday last year.   
33. Why do the best swimmers come from Flint, Michigan?… Because they’re always in the lead.    
34. Multiple Choice Geography question: 10. Which state’s capital is Nashville? A: New York B: Alabama C: Tennessee D: California I knew this answer. Ten is C.   
35. If someone in a store offers you assistance… and they don’t work there, you might live in Michigan. 
36. Why doesn’t Michigan fall into the Great Lakes?… Because Ohio sucks! 
37. In Flint, Michigan, students have no difficulty learning A – G and P – Z… The problem’s H to O. 
38. Election Jokes: 2024 Election Jokes: Michelle Obama and the Democrats wanted to turn Kalamazoo, Michigan into Kamala-Zoo Michigan
39. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the state motto for Michigan?
40. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Michigan?
41. Geography Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe locate Michigan on a map?
42. n a map?
43. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the governor of Michigan?
44. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe spell Michigan?
45. Travel Guest Blogs: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe visit Michigan?
46. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me if Michigan has an MLB team ?
47. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me if has Michigan an NFL team?
48. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me if Michigan has an NHL team?
49. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me if Michigan has an NBA team?
50. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me if Michigan has a Major League Rugby?
51. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the state flower of Michigan?
52. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the state bird of Michigan?
53. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the two senators from Michigan?
54. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the U.S. Representatives from Michigan?
55. Marriage Jokes: When my wife left me when I was in a terrible state… Michigan
56. Marriage Jokes: When my husband left me when I was in a terrible state… Michigan.
57. What did see Michigan?… Same thing Arkansas.
58. Election Jokes: It’s so cold in this morning…on my way to work I walked passed the capitol of Michigan and the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.
59. When I was ten, my family moved to Michigan… When I was thirteen, I found them.
60. College Jokes: 2 college friends skip studying for Physics final to party. Two University of Michigan students were taking Physics at . They did pretty well on all of the other assessments. Going into the final, they had a solid “A.” These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the final was on Monday), they decided to go to and party with some friends at Michigan State University. They had a great time, however, they overslept all day Sunday and didn’t make it back to campus until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found their professor after the final to explain to him why they missed the final. They told him that they went up to the for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back, and didn’t have a spare, and couldn’t get help for a long time, so they were late in getting back to campus. The professor thought this over and told them they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day for the final. The professor placed them in separate rooms, and handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, which was worth 5 points. It was something simple. “Cool,” they thought. “This is going to be easy.” They did that problem and then turned the page. They were not prepared, however, for what they saw on this page. It said: (95 Points). Which tire?
61. Mississippi Jokes: If Mississippi bought a New Jersey for Michigan, what would Delaware?…. Idaho, Alaska! 
62. Michigan: America hates us because America ain’t us.
63. Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in Michigan.
64. Election Jokes: We’re not sure who is dumber – the Michigan politicians or the voters.
65. Two Michigan tugboat captains who had been friends for years, would always cry “Aye!” and blow their whistles whenever they passed each other. A rookie crewman asked his boat’s mate, “What do they do that for?” The mate looked surprised and replied, “You mean that you’ve never heard of an aye for an aye and a toot for a toot?”
66. Labor Day Jokes: Michigan Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Michigan Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.”
67. Napping Jokes: A retired man from Michigan was jailed for refusing to nap… …he was resisting a rest.
68. Over the summer, expected to break the hottest temperatures ever recorded in Michigan’s entire history, some places as hot as 112°F… NOT cool.
69. Over the winter, is expected to break the coldest temperatures ever recorded in Michigan’s entire history, some places as hot as -51°F… NOT cool.. FREEZING.
70. Can you name the capitol of Michigan?… “M”
71. I’m absolutely disgusted with the state my life is in right now… I live in Michigan.
72. A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good Michigan joke. The bartender says, “Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I’m from Michigan. See that guy at the end of the bar? He’s 6-4 and weighs 250 and he’s from Michigan, too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He’s 6-6 and weighs 280 and he’s from Michigan, too! Now, do you still want to tell your joke?” The guy says, “Nah.” To which the bartender smiles and says, “What’s the matter? Are ya chicken?” The guy says, “Nah. I just don’t want to have to explain it three times.”
73. Michigan Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Michigan Resident: “No, not yet.”
74. What state does the the Grand River flow?… Liquid. (10 Longest Michigan Rivers)
75. What state does the Muskegon River River NOT flow in?… Frozen. (10 Longest Michigan Rivers)
76. Where do fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the St. Joseph River. (10 Longest Michigan Rivers)
77. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. The Manistee River.
78. Why don’t hipsters like the River Raisin?… It’s too mainstream.
79.  I threw a hipster into the Au Sable River… Guess whose mainstream now?
80. A fully loaded tractor-trailer carrying 80,000 pounds of Tylenol skidded off an icy bridge, and ended up in the mighty Grand River… It caused river failure.
81. Covid Jokes: Apparently, someone in gets stabbed every 52 seconds in Michigan… poor guy.
82. In the news, Michigan had it’s first remote trial via zoom… It looks like things will be settled out of court.
83. Did you hear the joke about Michigan Mountains?… You won’t get over it. 
84. A man from was arrested in Michigan for stealing a truck filled with $56,000 worth of Campbell’s soup…. I, for one, hope this guy goes away for ‘Mmm, mmm, good!’
85. Did you know that students in Michigan can drink in high school?… You can’t really stop them after they turn 21. 
86. Cereal Jokes: Did you guys hear about that girl they found murdered in Michigan?… They found her covered in milk with cheerios still in her mouth… They think it was a cereal killer.
87. Michigan Education/Testing scores are the worst in the nation… yep, we’re ranked 53rd.
88. College Jokes: How many University of Michigan freshman does it take to change a light bulb?… None, it’s a sophomore course.
89. What did Lake Michigan say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
90. How many men from Michigan do you need before you can make change for a dollar?… You can’t. Nobody in. has any cents.
91. How do you get a man from Michigan to do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes.
92. Did you hear that sports teams from Michigan don’t have a website?… They can’t string three “Ws” together.
93. Why can’t Michigan mountains play hide and seek?… Because they like to peak.
94. Music Jokes: A woman from Michigan who fell in love with the DJ from her first wedding day has married him five years later… she originally asked him three years ago, but he said he wasn’t taking requests just then.
95. Michigan: Hello from the otter side.
96. Why won’t any of Michigan’s bicycles stand up by themselves?… They are two tired.
97. Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Michigan library?… Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
98. Golf Jokes: Why do golfers from Michiganalways carry around two pairs of pants?… In case he got a hole-in-one
99. Golf Jokes: Why do golfers from Michiganalways carry around two shirts?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
100. Golf Jokes: Why do golfers from Michiganalways carry around two pairs of socks?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
101. Golf Jokes: Why should you never buy golf equipment made in Michigan?… Because New Jersey drivers are terrible.
102. Why do people from Michigan love sunrises?… Because it means the world has one more day to see how great Michigan is.
103. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Michigan Turnpike! 
104. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have 100 Michigan jokes?
105. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have 101 Michigan jokes?
106. What is the tallest building in Michigan?… The Michigan Public Library of course, it has the most stories!
107. Why did Michigan disband its water polo team?… All the horses drowned.
108. Why is “The Wave” banned The Big House?… Two fans Michigan drowned last year.
109. Divorce Jokes: Divorced couples in Michigan are having trouble deciding who gets the Marijuana… The judges have started issuing joint custody.
110. What do you call a dishonest cat at the Michigan Zoo?… Lion.
111. Top Teacher Jokes: The art teacher in Michigan always said, “Draw your own conclusions, but don’t color outside the lines!”
112. Top Teacher Jokes: Why do Michigan students excel in science?… Because they always experiment with their learning!
113. Top Teacher Jokes: The chemistry teacher in Michigan had a great reaction to student questions… they always ignited curiosity!
114. Top Teacher Jokes: The biology class in Michigan was so lively… it really had a cell-ebration going on!
115. College Basketball Jokes: I’m not saying Michigan basketball players are dumb, but the coach is dressing six players for this Saturdays game. The rest will dress themselves
116. Michigan state motto “Thank God for Mississippi.”
117. What do you call a Michigan football player with a championship ring?… A Thief.
118. How do you get a Michigan State graduate off your porch?… Pay for the pizza.
119. What’s the most popular pick up line in Michigan?… Nice tooth!
120. College Football Jokes: Knock knockout?… Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe name the college football teams that compete for the George Jewitt Trophy?
121. College Football Jokes: Knock knockout?… Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe name the college football teams that compete for the Megaphone Trophy?
122. Illinois has corn, Wisconsin has cheese, what does Michigan have?… Lead poisoning.
123. College Football Jokes: Knock knockout?… Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe name the college football teams that compete for the Land Grant Trophy?
124. College Football Jokes: Knock knockout?… Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe name the college football teams that compete for the Old Brass Spittoon?
125. College Football Jokes: Knock knockout?… Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe name the college football teams that compete for the Paul Bunyan Trophy?
126. College Football Jokes: Knock knockout?… Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe name the college football teams that compete for the Little Brown Jug?