Alabama Jokes

by | Aug 12, 2025 | Latest News | 0 comments

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  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Alabama jokes.
  2. Teacher Jokes for August: Why is Alabama the smartest state?… Because it has 4 A’s and 1 B!
  3. What is the #1 selling laundry detergent in Alabama?…. (Roll) Tide!
  4. The World’s Best Basketball Jokes: “All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine.” Charles Barkley
  5. How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama?… One Mississippi.
  6. Barber Jokes: What is the difference between the Atlanta Braves A and Bama “A”… The Bama “A”has a mullet.
  7. What is the most expensive college band in America?…. The Million Dollar Band of the University of Alabama.
  8. Chemistry Jokes: Where is Avogadro’s favorite vacation spot?… Mole – Bile, Alabama.
  9. How does a man from Alabama hold up his pants?… With a Bible Belt
  10. What is the best city to buy a baby shower gift?… Mobile, Alabama.
  11. Where does everyone in Alabama play games on their phone?… Mobile.
  12. Hurricane Jokes: What did the hurricane say to the Alabama coast?… I have my eye on you.
  13. Baseball Jokes: What is the nautical chart of the Gulf of Mexico’s best pitch?… The depth curve.
  14. What did the Gulf of Mexico say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
  15. What did Alabama see?… Same thing Arkansas.
  16. What is laundry detergent does the Alabama Football Manager use to wash the uniforms?…. (Roll) Tide.
  17. Retirement Jokes: A retired Alabama man was jailed for refusing to nap… He was resisting a rest.
  18. Alabama: America hates us because America ain’t us.
  19. Can you name the capital in #Alabama?… “A.”
  20. Geography Jokes: Why did the Alabama teacher jump into the Gulf of Mexico?… She wanted to test the water!
  21. What is the tallest building in?… The Alabama Public Library of course, it has the most stories!
  22. It is in the news today that Alabama is having its first remote trial via zoom… It looks like things will be settled out of court.
  23. Where do fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Alabama River.
  24. How did you find the weather on your Alabama vacation?… I just went outside and there it was.
  26. What did Guntersville Lake say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved.
  27. Did you hear the joke about Cheaha Mountain?… You won’t get over it.
  28. A woman from Alabama who fell in love with the DJ from her first wedding day has married him five years later… she originally asked him three years ago, but he said he wasn’t taking requests just then.
  29. Alabama is hosting a party for all the states. Hawaii says, “be there or be square!” Unfortunately, Colorado and Wyoming didn’t attend.
  30. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: Alabama. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in Alabama!
  31. What is the nautical chart of the Gulf of Mexico’s best pitch?… The depth curve.
  32. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta visit Alabama.
  33. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Alabama State Turnpike!
  34. My house is on fire!” “OK,” replied the fireman, “how do we get there?” “Say, don’t you still have them big red trucks?”
  35. Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Alabama Resident: “No, not yet.”
  36. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. The Tennessee River. (10 Longest Alabama Rivers)
  37. Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Alabama library?… Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
  38. Why do Alabama golfers always carry around two pairs of pants?… In case he got a hole-in-one
  39. Why do Alabama golfers always carry around two shirts?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
  40. Why do Alabama golfers always carry around two pairs of socks?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
  41. Why do Alabama love sunrises?… Because it means the world has one more day to see how great Alabama is.
  42. Did you hear the joke about Alabama Mountains?… You won’t get over it.  
  43. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe the state flower of Alabama ?
  44. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe the state bird of Alabama?
  45. Why did Alabama disband its water polo team?… All the horses drowned.
  46. Where do Alabama fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the The Tennessee River. (10 Longest Alabama Rivers)
  47. What are the preferred pronouns in Alabama?… He/Haw.
  48. Why is “The Wave” banned in Alabama Stadium?… Two fans drowned last year.
  49. Alabama Tourist: “Have you lived in Alabama all your life?” Alabama Local: “No, not yet.”
  50. Alabama Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Alabama Local: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.”
  51. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the two senators from Alabamat?
  52. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the U.S. Representatives from Alabama?
  53. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the governor from Alabama?
  54. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the MLB team from Alabama?
  55. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the NFL team from Alabama?
  56. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the NHL team from Alabama?
  57. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the NBA team from Alabama?
  58. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Major League Rugby from Alabama?
  59. What do you call a dishonest cat at the Alabama Gulf Coast Zoo?… Lion.
  60. The art teacher in Alabama always said, “Draw your own conclusions, but don’t color outside the lines!”
  61. Why do Alabama students excel in science?… Because they always experiment with their learning!
  62. The chemistry teacher in Alabama had a great reaction to student questions… they always ignited curiosity!
  63. The biology class in Alabama was so lively… it really had a cell-ebration going on!
  64. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Major League Soccer team from Alabama?
  65. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Premier Lacrosse League (PLL) from Alabama?
  66. Why do folks in Alabama go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?… The sign said “17 and under not admitted.”
  67. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about #Alabama?
  68. What does daylight-saving time mean in #Mobile, #Alabama?… An extra hour of #rain.
  69. #Alabama: We’re not sure who is dumber – the #politicians or the #voters!
  70. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Alabama knock-knock joke? 
  71. Why do folks in Alabama go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?… because 17 and under not admitted. 
  72. An Alabama man was arrested for stealing a truck filled with $56,000 worth of Campbell’s soup…. I, for one, hope this guy goes away for ‘Mmm, mmm, good!’ 
  73. If a plane crashed on the borders of Alabama and Tennessee, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! 
  74. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Chattahoochee River! 
  75. Did you guys hear about that girl they found murdered in Alabama?… They found her covered in milk with cheerios still in her mouth… They think it was a cereal killer. 
  76. What runs but never goes out of breath?… Tennessee River!
  77.  A cowboy and his blind horse: A man is casually crossing the Alabama plains when his horse died all of the sudden. The nearest town was three days walk. So, he started to walk. 3 days later he ends up in this quiet ‘ol town but nobody had a horse for sale. So he commenced to walking to the closest town which was a two days journey. Unfortunately, nobody in that town had a horse for sale, however, he did come across this stable where the fellow runnin’ it mentioned his brother in a nearby Town had a horse for sale. He commenced to walk to this next town and 2 DAYS LATER found the guy’s brother. “I talked to your brother two days walk from here and he says you might have a horse to sell me.” “Yes I do have a horse for sale,” He replied, “But he don’t look so good.” “I don’t care. I’ll take him anyways. I’ve been walking for damn near a week now. I’m tired and I need a horse.” So he gets on the horse and the horse takes off and bumps into a tree and stops. “Heyyy, something’s wrong with this horse. I think he’s blind. YOU SOLD ME A BLIND HORSE MISTER!” “I told you Sir, THE HORSE DON’T LOOK SO GOOD!” 
  78. Alabama is a joke that writes itself. 
  79. What do you call road kill in Alabama?… Breakfast. 
  80. What is an Alabama cloud’s favorite drink?… Mountain Dew. 
  81. Where do Alabama elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? 
  82. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Alabama Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.”  
  83. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Alabama knock knock jokes? 
  84. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Hurricane… Hurricane who?… Hurry! Cane you run away from the storm? 
  85. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe spell Alabama? 
  86. What do you call a 4.0 student at the University of Alabama?… A visitor. 
  87. Alabama is so progressive… the women don’t even change their last names when they get married. 
  88. Bama fans can’t spell elephant, so they cheer for laundry detergent. 
  89. What does the average Alabama high school student get on his SAT?… Drool. 
  90. What does a tornado and a Alabama divorce have in common… Either one somebody is losing a trailer. 
  91. Did you hear about the $4,000,000 Alabama State Lottery?… The winner gets $4 a year for a million years. 
  92. Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in Alabama. 
  93. Who works the hardest at an Alabama Crimson Tide game?… The Chain gang. 
  94. A man walks into a store says to the clerk, “I’d like a pair of red shoes, a white shirt, a pair of red pants, and a pair of white shoes.” The clerk looks at him and shakes his head saying, “You must be an Alabama fan!” The man proclaims with pride, “How could you tell, was it the color scheme!” The clerk looks at him and says “No, this is a hardware store.” 
  95. Why did the University of Alabama regents decide to cover Bryant-Denny Stadium in cardboard?… Because the Crimson Tide always look better on paper. 
  96. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Alabama knock-knock joke?
  97. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Alabama knock knock jokes?
  98. Why is “The Wave” banned in Jordan-Hare Stadium?… Two Auburn fans drowned last year. 
  99. What did the Gulf of Mexico say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved! 
  100. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have 100 Alabama jokes?
  101. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have 101 Alabama jokes?
  102. Why is a Tennessee River rich? …. Because it has two banks. 
  103. What is a Alabama mountain’s favorite type of candy?… Snow caps. 
  104. Why can’t Alabama mountains and play hide and seek?… Because they like to peak. 
  105. How do the zebras at the Alabama Gulf Coast Zoo play baseball?… Three stripes and you’re out! 
  106. Why do Alabama students have such beautiful noses?… They’re hand picked. (Biology Jokes) Why do Alabama students have TGIF on their shoes?… Toes Go In First!
  107. How many University of Alabama freshman does it take to change a light bulb?… None, it’s a sophomore course.
  108. A 5th grader from Alabama and a 5th grader from New York City got into a fight. Who won?… The 5th grader from Alabama, because he’s 18 years old.
  109. It’s reported that Nick Saban will only dress 20 players for the Tennessee game… The rest will have to dress themselves.
  110. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the capital of Alabama? (State Capitals)
  111. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the most populated city in Alabama?
  112. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the least populated city in Alabama?
  113. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the highest mountain in Alabama? (Hiking Jokes)
  114. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the longest river in Alabama?
  115. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the two senators from Alabama?
  116. Why did the Alabama teacher jump into the lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  117. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the governor of Alabama? Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the representatives from Alabama?
  118. Alabama, the land of 5 million people… …and 4 last names.
  119. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe visit Alabama?
  120. How do you get a man in Alabama to do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes.
  121. Why did the Auburn football team cross the road?… Because it was easier than crossing the goal line.
  122. What separates a good team from a great team?… The Florida-Alabama border.
  123. Why did the Alabama teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  124. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the colleges and universities in Alabama? (Top U.S. Colleges)
  125. It was recently announced that a franchise was building a new Taco Bell in Tuscaloosa. The University’s response was “Why do we need another phone company?”
  126. Why is “The Wave” banned in Bryant-Denny Stadium?… Two fans drowned last year. (Rainbow Jokes)
  127. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you tell me the cost of the University of Alabama? (Top U.S. Colleges)
  128. What did the Alabama flag say to the American flag?… Nothing. It waved!
  129. An Alabama fan walks into the doctor’s office one day with a hat on. He takes off his hat, and the doctor sees that there is a big frog sitting right on top of his head. The doctor looks at the man and asks him why he has a frog sitting on his head. It was the frog who replied “Actually doc, I was the one who wanted to see you. Can you remove this wart off my butt?”
  130. What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?… Welcome to McDonald’s, may I take your order please?
  131. Why did the Alabama teacher jump into the ocean?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  132. Why should the University of Alabama change it’s team name to the opossums?…  Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
  133. Why did the Alabama teacher jump into the river?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  134. What is the only good thing to come out of Alabama?… Interstate 20.
  135. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe take me to an Alabama football game?
  136. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe take me to an Alabama basketball game?
  137. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe take me to an Alabama baseball game?
  138. How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama?… If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
  139. Why is Alabama the smartest state in middle school?… Because it has 4 A’s and 1 B! (Back to School Jokes)
  140. Why is Alabama the smartest state in high school?… Because it has 4 A’s and 1 B! (Back to School Jokes)
  141. Why is Alabama the smartest state in college?… Because it has 4 A’s and 1 B! (Back to School Jokes)
  142. Alabama has changed its drinking age to 28…. Lawmakers warrant this by saying it is meant to keep alcohol out of high school.
  143. What do a maggot and an Alabama fan have in common?… They can both live off of a dead bear for 20 years.
  144. If a plane crashed on the borders of Alabama and Georgia, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids & Plane Jokes)
  145. If a plane crashed on the borders of Alabama and Mississippi, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids & Plane Jokes)
  146. Where do Alabama middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  147. Where do Alabama high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey?
  148. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name any professional sports teams in Alabama?
  149. Divorced couples in Alabama are having trouble deciding who gets the Marijuana… The judges have started issuing joint custody.
  150. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe give me the name of a great restaurant Alabama?
  151. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the cost of living Alabama?
  152. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me some good lakes in Alabama?
  153. Why did Troy State disband the water polo team?… All the horses drowned.
  154. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  155. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College
  156. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. The Chattahoochee River. (10 Longest Alabama Rivers)
  157. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. The Alabama River. (10 Longest Alabama Rivers)
  158. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. The Coosa River. (10 Longest Alabama Rivers)
  159. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. The Tallapoosa River. (10 Longest Alabama Rivers)
  160. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. The Tombigbee River. (10 Longest Alabama Rivers)
  161. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. The Tallapoosa River. (10 Longest Alabama Rivers)
  162. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. The Conecuh River. (10 Longest Alabama Rivers)
  163. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. The Elk River. (10 Longest Alabama Rivers)
  164. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. The Cahaba River. (10 Longest Alabama Rivers)
  165. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. Black Warrior River. (10 Longest Alabama Rivers)

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