101 World Cup Soccer Jokes

by | Jun 5, 2026 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

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Top Soccer Jokes

  1. June Jokes: Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best World Cup knock knock jokes.
  2. Christmas Jokes: What did the bad soccer announcer get in his stocking?… COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!
  3. A German walks into a bar after the World Cup. As he is ordering a beer, he notices an American sitting at the edge of the bar. After a tense pause, he says, “Hey American! How many World Cups have you won?” The American calmly replies “Hey German. How many World Wars have you won?”
  4. Pirate Jokes: Who are the pirates favorite team at the World Cup?… Ahrr-gentina.
  5. We hoped for a good clean World Cup Final… But instead we got a Messi one.
  7. A man takes his seat at the World Cup final. He looks over and notices there’s an extra seat in between himself and the next guy. The man says, “Who would ever miss the World Cup final?” The guy replies, “Well that was my wife’s seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.” The man says back, “That’s terrible, but couldn’t you get another close family member to come with you?” The guy says, “No. They’re all at the funeral.”
  8. World Cup 2022: I was really surprised to see Canada qualify for the World Cup this year, but it’s Trudeau…
  9. Ghana has eliminated the U.S. from last two World Cups… They’re probably Ghana do it again.
  10. Marriage Jokes: I have a wedding at the same time of my World Cup match, can anyone take my place?… The place is St. Parish Church and the Bride’s name is Paula.
  11. I don’t watch World Cup soccer…. If I wanted to see grown men struggle to score for 90 minutes I’d go to a bar.
  12. Why is Italy out of the World Cup?… They didn’t pasta ball good enough. 
  13. In order to help Russia’s chances at the World Cup… The tournament has been moved to December.
  14. After his team was eliminated from the World Cup, The Nigerian captain personally offered to refund all expenses that fans of his country paid for to travel to Brazil. According to sources close to the player, he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transactions.
  15. I like watching World Cup even though I don’t know anything about football. Sitting on the couch with a cold beer and watch those millionaires and billionaires running on the field, tiring themselves to half death just to entertain me, what a successful life!
  16. I’m rooting for Switzerland in the World Cup. I don’t know much about the team… but their flag is a big plus.
  17. World Cup 2018: Let’s face it… That’s not the first time Germany has gone into Russia unprepared…
  18. The finals of the World Cup is like cows on an airplane… The steaks have never been higher.
  19. What do you call an American in the world cup final… Ref.
  20. World Cup 2018: How much does it cost a small middle eastern country to host the World Cup?… A Qatar of a trillion dollars.
  21. World Cup 2022: I’m really looking forward to the World Cup themed McDonald’s burger… The Qatar pounder.
  22. My friends and I were watching the World Cup during our camping trip… It was in tents.  
  23. Canada is sending a strong team to the World Cup… Unfortunately, it’s the drinking team.
  24. What do the English do immediately after winning the FIFA World Cup?… Turn off the Playstation.
  25. What do you call 23 men watching the World Cup 2018?… The Scotland National Team.     
  26. Why did Brazil lose the World Cup?… Weak back.
  27. How much did Adidas spend in advertising at the World Cup this year?… At least a brazillion dollars. 
  28. I just bought a World Cup… for my coffee cup! 
  29. Why did the computer join the World Cup soccer team?… It had great net-working skills.
  30. Why was the soccer game at the bakery so exciting?… It was a turnover.
  31. Why did the clock love the World Cup?… It enjoyed extra time.
  32. What’s a soccer player’s favorite school subject?… Goal-ography.
  33. World Cup Soccer Jokes:
  34. World Cup 2018: Germany’s failure in the World Cup wasn’t that surprising… They have always struggled to progress in Russia.
  35. With the bribery and corruption scandal surrounding the World Cup, I want to remind everyone that money can’t change someone’s mind… But I’m willing to try.
  36. FIFA World Cup 2018 A Frenchman alks down the street, where he bumps into an Englishman The Frenchman asks: How are you, what are you up to?” Englishman: ” Ah, nothing much, playing the Croatians in the World Cup tomorrow!” Frenchman: “What a coincidence…?! We’re playing them on Sunday!”
  37. Why did the soccer ball quit the team?… It was tired of being kicked around.
  38. Why do soccer players do well in school?… Because they know how to use their heads.
  39. What is a ghost’s favorite position in soccer?… Ghoul keeper. 
  40. What game do girls dislike?… Soccer (sock her).
  41. When is a soccer player like a judge?… When he sits on the bench.
  42. How do we know that soccer referees are happy?…. Because they whistle while they work.
  43. What kind of soccer team cries when it loses?… A bawl (ball) club.
  44. Why isn’t soccer played in the jungle always fair?… Because of the cheetahs (cheaters).
  45. What happens to a soccer player who loses his eyesight?… He becomes a referee.
  46. Why do soccer players make the honor roll in school?… Because they know how to use their heads. 
  47. Why do so many Americans play soccer?… So they don’t have to watch it on TV.
  48. What is the difference between (country of your choice) and the Bermuda triangle?… The bermuda triangle has three points.
  49. How did the football pitch get all wet?… The players dribbled all over it.
  50. What happens when the opposition cross the halfway line against (country of your choice)?… They score.
  51. What do you call a (country of your choice) soccer fan with an IQ of 10?… Supremely gifted!
  52. How do soccer players stay cool during a game?… They stand near the fans!
  53. Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?… So he could tie the score
  54. What happens to a footballer who loses his eyesight?… He becomes a referee.
  55. What do you call an person from (country of your choice) in the World Cup Final?… Referee.
  56. Why do so many Americans play soccer? So they don’t have to watch it on TV.
  57. What’s the difference between (country of your choice)’s world cup soccer squad and a teabag?… A tea bag stays in the cup longer.
  58. What’s the difference between (country of your choice) and an albatross?…An albatross has got two decent wings. (Bird Jokes)
  59. What is the difference between (country of your choice) and the Bermuda triangle?… The bermuda triangle has three points.
  60. How did the football pitch get all wet?… The players dribbled all over it.
  61. What happens when the opposition cross the halfway line against (country of your choice)?… They score.
  62. What do you call a (country of your choice) soccer fan with an IQ of 10?… Supremely gifted!
  63. Did you know the Origami World Cup is on TV…. It’s only available on pay per view though.
  64. How do soccer players stay cool during a game?… They stand near the fans!
  65. Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?… So he could tie the score.
  66. Why did the soccer ball quit the team?… It was tired of being kicked around.
  67. Why do soccer players do well in school?… Because they know how to use their heads. (180 School Jokes)
  68. What lights up a soccer stadium?… A soccer match
  69. What kind of tea do soccer players drink?… Penal-Tea
  70. Why did the soccer player bring string to her game?… So she could tie the score
  71. What is a ghost’s favorite position in soccer?… Ghoul keeper. (101 Halloween Jokes)
  72. How did the soccer field get all wet?… The players dribbled all over it.
  73. Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?… Because she always runs away from the ball.
  74. What runs around a soccer field but never moves?… A fence!
  75. Why didn’t the dog want to play soccer?… He was a boxer.
  76. What game do girls dislike?… Soccer (sock her).
  77. What did the bumble bee forward say after getting a goal?… Hive scored
  78. When is a soccer player like a judge?… When he sits on the bench.
  79. How do we know that soccer referees are happy?…. Because they whistle while they work.
  80. What kind of soccer team cries when it loses?… A bawl (ball) club.
  81. Why isn’t soccer played in the jungle always fair?… Because of the cheetahs (cheaters).
  82. Why do soccer players make the honor roll in school?… Because they know how to use their heads. (180 School Jokes)
  83. What do you call an person from (country of your choice) in the World Cup Final?… Referee.
  84. Why do so many Americans play soccer?… So they don’t have to watch it on TV.
  85. What’s the difference between (country of your choice)’s world cup soccer squad and a teabag?… A tea bag stays in the cup longer.
  86. What’s the difference between (country of your choice) and an albatross?…An albatross has got two decent wings.
  87. What is the difference between (country of your choice) and the Bermuda triangle?… The Bermuda triangle has three points.
  88. What happens when the opposition cross the halfway line against (country of your choice)?… They score.
  89. How do soccer players stay cool during a game?… They stand near the fans!
  90. Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?… So he could tie the score.
  91. Why was Cinderella such a bad soccer player?… Her coach was a pumpkin. (Top Halloween Jokes)
  92. Where do soccer players go to get a new uniform?… New Jersey (Top Geography Jokes & Top 500 Jokes for U.S. States)
  93. What would you get if you crossed a soccer player and the Invisible Man?… Soccer like no one has ever seen.
  94. What did the mummy soccer coach say at the end of practice?… “Let’s wrap this up!” (Top Halloween Jokes)
  95. Why was the skeleton always left out in a soccer game?… Because he had no body to go with. (Top Halloween Jokes)
  96. Which soccer player has the biggest cleats?… The one with the biggest feet.
  97. What position do ghosts play in soccer?… Ghoulie
  98. What is it called when a dinosaur gets a goal?… A dino-score.
  99. Why was the soccer field wet on a sunny day?… The players dribbled all over it.
  100. How do birds cheer for their soccer teams?… They egg them on.
  101. Why did the chicken get ejected from the soccer game?… For persistent fowl play.