101 New England Patriots Jokes

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1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best New England Patriots jokes.
2. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the franchise that has the most Super Bowl appearances?… New England Patriots (11).
3. Tom Brady just announced that he was retiring from football for good. That’s a relief because if he was retiring for evil, then evil would probably win.
4. New England Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe the Patriots were 4 – 13 the year before they went to Super Bowl LX?
5. Super Bowl LV: Tom Brady is a very polarizing sports figure. On one hand, he has FIVE super bowl rings…. But on the other hand, he has two.
6. Super Bowl LI: New England Jokes: The last time a group of New Englanders destroyed Atlanta this badly… Sherman marched to the sea!
7. Super Bowl LX Jokes: The Patriots are going to the Super Bowl this year… I’m NOT deflated.
8. Seattle Seahawks Jokes: Super Bowl XLIX: With the rematch of the New England Patriot and Seattle Seahawks, I was thinking about reliving the final Seahawks offensive play, but… like them I think I will pass.
9. Music Jokes: Super Bowl LIII Halftime: At halftime it’s Maroon 5 Patriots 3 Rams 0.
10. Super Bowl XLIX: What are the Seahawk’s fans two most hated shows?… The Brady Bunch and Malcolm in the Middle!
11. Super Bowl LX Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the motto of the Super Bowl LX New England Patriots?… “We all we got, we all we need.”
12. Super Bowl LIX: Washington Jokes: “Hey, Seattle, wanna win the Super Bowl?” “No, thanks. We’ll pass.”
13. Music Jokes: What was the Red Hot Chili Peppers favorite play in the AFC Championship game?… The New England Patriot’s FLEA flicker pass.
14. American Revolution Jokes: This is the 250th anniversary of America… obviously the New England Patriots were going to win the AFC Championship.
15. Super Bowl LX… Finally a Super Bowl that matches my shirt size!… Forget that I am dyslexic.
16. New England Jokes: Wild Card Weekend 2026: What do Seinfeld fans and New England Patriots fans have in common?… They both love the Drake.
17. Super Bowl Knock Knock Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you name the two teams who are playing in Super Bowl LX?… (New England Patriot and Seattle Seahawks).
18. California Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe 13-year-old Drake Maye attended Super Bowl L in Santa Clara, California?… The Denver Broncos defeated the Carolina Panthers 24 – 10.
19. AFC Championship: Fantasy Football: Denver Broncos fans thinking their team could beat the New England Patriots with Jarrett Stidham and go on to the Super Bowl.
20. How will Tom Brady feel if the Patriots lose?… Deflated.
21. Pizza Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the pizza company had Tom Brady in for Super Bowl LX?… Pizza HUT!
22. Divisional Round: Fantasy football…. Houston Texans fans thinking you can go into the Razor, Gillette Stadium, in the snow and beat the New England Patriots.
23. What’s the difference between Super Bowl quarterback Drake Maye and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap.
24. New England Jokes: Super Bowl LI: You know, I don’t find the Super Bowl LI win all that historic… After all, this isn’t the first time Atlanta was burned by the North.
25. Pirate Jokes: Who is a pirate’s favorite New England Patriots Super Bowl LV receiver?… Kayshon “Pirate’s” Boutte.
26. January 25th, 2026: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe the weather at Mile High Stadium for the AFC Championship?
27. January 25th, 2026: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe imagine if the Patriots hosted the AFC Championship with Winter Storm Fern dropping 17 inches of snow in Foxboro?
28. Math Jokes: New England Crazy 8s: 8 head coaches have made the Super Bowl in their 1st year AND 8 2nd year QBs have made the Super Bowl.
29. What are the two popular shows with New England Patriots’s fans?… The Brady Bunch and Malcolm in the Middle!
30. AFC Championship: When New England Patriot Christian Gonzalez intercepted Jarrett Stidham’s pass… the Denver Broncos chance of going to the Super Bowl went GONZO!
31. January 25th, 2026: AFC Championship: It is Maye Day at Mile High Stadium!
32. AFC Championship: On paper, Drake Maye be a better QB Bo Nix’s backup, Jarrett Stidham.
33. New England Jokes: Milton, Massachusetts love Milton Williams.
34. Milton’s Men’s Clothing store should hire New England Patriot Milton Williams as a spokesperson.
35. American Revolution Jokes: Super Bowl LII I’m relieved the Patriots lost… No patriot I know would ever beat an eagle.
36. The weather in New England meant they had to delay the victory parade for the Patriots… They must feel really deflated.
37. New England Jokes: Patriots fans are being charged more money for Super Bowl tickets… It’s because of inflation.
38. When it comes to trick plays, you have to hand it to Tom Brady… Literally. He can’t catch.
39. Super Bowl LIII: I guess the Rams ended the Super Bowl the way they ended the season… 13-3.
40. New England Jokes: Tom Brady retired, but he does so as the GOAT, with 7 Super Bowls, but more importantly, he’s 5x better than Nickelback.… He’s a quarterback.
41. California Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the date of Super Bowl XL?… Super Bowl LX will be played on February 8, 2026.
42. California Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the location of Super Bowl XL?… Super Bowl LX will be played at Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara, California.
43. Mole Day Jokes: Who is a mole’s favorite New England Patriots Super Bowl LV receiver?… Stefon Diggs.
44. Super Bowl XX: Illinois Jokes: What is the difference between a Chicago Bears fan and Marty McFly?… Eventually Marty McFly stopped going back to 1985.
45. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Can you tell me where I can buy Love the Drake Lager?…
46. American Revolution Jokes: The Chiefs’ defense isn’t doing well against the Patriots’ offense… Reminds me of colonial times.
47. AFC Championship: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you name the New England Patriot legend who presented the Lamar Hunt Trophy to the Patriots for winning the AFC championship?… Adam Vinatieri.
48. New England Jokes: The clutch running of New England’s quarterback MAYE have been the difference in the AFC Championship game.
49. Houston…. We have a problem… It is Maye Day in New England!
50. AFC Championship: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you name the two teams in the 2026 AFC Championship?… (New England Patriots at the Denver Broncos.)
51. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you believe Jarrett Stidham used to play for the New England Patriots?
52. Super Bowl LX Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you tell me the pizza company had Tom Brady in for Super Bowl LX?… Pizza HUT!
53. Colorado Jokes: With the injury to Bo Nix… I guess you can nix the idea that the Denver Broncos will win the LX Super Bowl.
54. AFC Championship: What is the #1 selling soda at Mile High Stadium… Orange Crush.
55. AFC Championship: Drake Maye have lucked out with the injury to Bo Nix.
56. Super Bowl LX will be played at Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara, California… are our Super Bowl jokes wearing thin?
57. The Patriots aren’t going to the Super Bowl this year… I’m deflated.
58. Super Bowl XLIX: What do the Patriots and Measles have in common?… They both got to go to Disneyland, because some idiot decided to pass on something
59. How many Patriots fans does it take to change a lightbulb?… None. They just talk about how good the old one was.
60. Georgia Jokes: The Patriots are true gentlemen…. They let the Falcons finish their game before they started theirs.
61. Music Jokes: Super Bowl LX: Bad Bunny….gonna make made money performing the Apple Music Super Bowl LX Halftime Show.
62. Music Jokes: Was nice to see the Rams and Patriots make it to the Maroon 5 concert last night.
63. Marriage Jokes:Why do Patriots fans make the best spouses?… Because they don’t mind if you cheat.
64. Dad already knows who will win the Super Bowl LX… The team with the most points.
65. What do Patriots fans and horse flies have in common?… They’re both annoying.
66. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Super Bowl XL jokes.
67. What does patriots stand for Pay All The Refs In Order To Succeed.
68. Super Bowl XLV: “I told him, we are not discussing changing our city’s name until he brings home that Lombardi Trophy. So Tom and I will have that discussion in due time. Yes, we will talk about that, changing ‘Tampa,’ since we are becoming a title town, to ‘Tompa Bay.’ We’ll have those discussions.” Tampa Mayor Jane Castor
69. New England Jokes: Dad, how do you win a Super Bowl without cheating?… I don’t know son, we are Patriots fans.
70. The Patriots had to re-sod their field… Even the grass won’t root for them.
71. what’s the difference between Patriots fans and cicadas?… Cicadas are only annoying every few years.
72. What’s the best part about dating a Patriots fan?… They don’t care if you cheat.
73. What is the official snack food of the Boston Red Sox and New England Patriots?… Cheat-o’s.
74. Tom Brady told me he’s on a diet. Well, he didn’t actually say diet. He said Sundays are his cheat day, but I can read between the lines.
75. Tom Brady’s so old… He won his first Superbowl in standard definition.
76. Why is Tom Brady against raising the federal minimum wage?… He doesn’t want things to get too inflated.
77. Report: Tom Brady to retire. Fans hoping for one more season reportedly deflated by the news.
78. Why is Tom Brady always so optimistic?… He sees the football as half full.
79. Tom Brady asked me if I could help him after his house’s air conditioning system broke. I declined because I’m not a big fan.
80. How did Tom Brady get $2? He gets a buck n ear.
81. Which presidential candidate does Tom Brady support? Whichever can reduce inflation.
82. Tom Brady said he refuses to invest in bitcoin. Turns out he’s afraid of inflation.
83. How much does Tom Brady pay for corn? A buccaneer.
84. What do Gisele, Eli Manning, and Nick Foles all have in common? All three managed to take a ring from Tom Brady.
85. Donald Trump says that he plans to reduce inflation. Shortly after, Tom Brady announced his intent to vote for Trump.
86. Super Bowl XXXVI (2002): I totally forgot the Super Bowl was tonight!… Don’t worry; so did the Falcons. (Patriots 20, St. Louis Rams 17)
87. Super Bowl XXXVIII (2004): I totally forgot the Super Bowl was tonight!… Don’t worry; so did the Panthers. (Patriots 32, Carolina Panthers 29)
88. Super Bowl XXXIX (2005): I totally forgot the Super Bowl was tonight!… Don’t worry; so did the Eagles. (Patriots 24, Philadelphia Eagles 21)
89. Super Bowl XLIX (2015): I totally forgot the Super Bowl was tonight!… Don’t worry; so did the Seahawks.(Patriots 28, Seattle Seahawks 24)
90. Super Bowl LI (2017): I totally forgot the Super Bowl was tonight!… Don’t worry; so did the Falcons. (Patriots 34, Atlanta Falcons 28 (OT))
91. Super Bowl LIII (2019): I totally forgot the Super Bowl was tonight!… Don’t worry; so did the Rams.
92. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the Super Bowl XXXVI (2002) MVP?:
93. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the Super Bowl XXXVIII (2004) MVP?
94. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the Super Bowl XXXIX (2005) MVP?
95. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the Super Bowl LI (2017) MVP?
96. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the Super Bowl XLIX (2015) MVP?
97. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the Super Bowl LI (2017)MVP?
98. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me how many Super Bowls Tom Brady has won?
99. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me how many Super Bowls Tom Brady has won with the Patriots?
100. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me how many Super Bowls the Patriots have won?
101. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me when the Patriots won their 1st Super Bowl?
102. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me when the Patriots won their last Super Bowl?