101 Labor Day Jokes

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1. Farming Jokes: Happy Labor Day…. Oh wait… we live on a farm. Never mind!
2. Did you hear the joke about Labor Day?… It doesn’t work for me!
3. If a train station is where the train stops, and a bus station is where the bus stops… What is a work station?
4. I love Labor Day… What other day do you get to celebrate work without actually doing any?
5. My first job was in an orange juice factory, but I couldn’t concentrate on the same old boring rind… so I got canned.
6. Baseball Jokes: I wanted to earn a little extra money being a baseball umpire… but my home plate was full.
7. My archaeologist co-worker tried to blackmail me the other day… Turns out he got a lot of dirt on me.  
8. How do lifeguards get paid?… With sand dollars.
9. Why is Indiana Jones sad?… Because his career is in ruins. 
10. Barber Jokes: I wanted to be a barber… but I just couldn’t cut it.
11. I was a masseur for a while… but I rubbed people the wrong way.
12. How many teachers work in your school?… About half.
13. I’m trying to start a chewing gum recycling company… I just need a little help getting it off the ground. 
14. Dog Jokes: How do dog catchers get paid?… By the pound.
15. What’s a pirate’s second favorite job?… an arrrrrrchitect!
16. Help Wanted: Gymnastics Teacher Needed To Work Sat-Wed. Must be flexible. 
17. Lord of the Rings Jokes: Employee: Gandalf once said ‘A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.’ Boss: You’re still fired! 
18. Maine Tourist: “Nice little town, so old & quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.”
19. Here’s to hopefully having jobs when we return from Labor Day Weekend.
20. I manufactured calendars… but my days were numbered.
21. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me the date of Labor Day this year? 
22. What was Dr. Seuss’ mom’s job?… She was a Ma Seuss. 
23. Bullets and fireworks are the only things that do their job after they’ve been fired.
24. I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my principal, my faculties, and my class.
25. Navy Jokes: I thought about joining the Navy to be on a submarine… But I changed my mind, I had a sinking feeling about that career path.
26. Navy Jokes: A cool job that sounds lame: Building boats for the Navy… You’d be a subcontractor. 
27. Tree Jokes: I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it… so they gave me the axe.
28. I don’t really like working as a waiter… But hey, at least it puts food on the table.
29. This really was supposed to be a joke! Why did the MLB baseball manager get fired?… for stealing signs. 
30. I used to get into fights at the drop of a hat. Which is probably why I got fired from my job as a graduation photographer. 
31. My grandpa always says, “When one door closes, another opens.” He was a good man, but a lousy cabinet maker. 
32. From the moment I became an archaeologist… my career was in ruins.
33. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me the footwear Jimmy Buffet wore to his Labor Day Weekend Show?  
34. Boss: “You’re an hour late!” Guy who is about to invent daylight savings time: “Haven’t you heard?” 
35. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust a to go back to college. It is Labor Day Weekend. 
36. I quit working for Nike… I just couldn’t do it anymore.
37. I tried being a movie extra… but it wasn’t my scene.
38. My career at the stationery company isn’t going anywhere.
39. I stopped doing handyman work… I couldn’t live on a fixed income.
40. I got laid off from the unemployment office and still had to show up the next day.
41. I have some jokes about unemployed people… but none of them work.
42. After all those years working as a limousine driver… I don’t have much to chauffeur it.
43. Dad Jokes: Father: Do you know, most people don’t have to work today, because it’s Labor Day. Son: If people are not working, shouldn’t we call today ‘No-Labor Day?’
44. Wood fired pizza?… How’s pizza gonna get a job now? 
45. What does your father do for a living?… He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half. I four half-sisters and a half-brother.
46. I wasn’t feeling fulfilled as a phlebotomist… All my work was in vein.
47. I almost got a job at a bullring but ultimately decided against it… There were too many red flags. 
48. Navy Jokes: I became a chef after I left the Navy… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. 
49. Oklahoma Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Canoe?… Canoe Who?… Canoe you name America’s Biggest Labor Day Party! (Rocklahoma)
50. Why did the employee get fired from Pepsi?… They found Coke in his system.
51. What is an iron worker’s favorite band?… Steely Dan. 
52. I just lost my job as a psychic… I did not see that coming.
53. My job is selling houses in places like Narnia, Middle Earth, Neverland, Oz and Wonderland… I’m a Not Real Estate Agent. 
54. My friend got fired from his cow milking job because of his erratic behavior. He was a danger to himself and udders. 
55. What do you call a door to door bicycle salesman?… A Peddler! 
56. Why was the meat packer arrested?… For bringing home the bacon. 
57. My boss told a joke during our zoom call today… It wasn’t even remotely funny.
58. I’m thinking about working search and rescue… They’re always looking for people.
59. The shark is out of work right now, but don’t worry… he’s collecting workers chomp. 
60. Why did elephants form a union… They work for peanuts. 
61. In honor of Earth Day, I’m sending all of my work-related emails to my “recycle” folder. 
62. Most people enjoy a day off on Labor Day except fire… Fire works on the Labor Day Weekend.
63. Chocolate Chip Cookie Jokes: I tried to start an online Chocolate Chip Cookie store… But I accidentally deleted all my cookies.
64. My buddy founded a canoe business that’s really taking off. I had the same idea… but I missed the boat. 
65. I tried working at the IRS… but it was too taxing.
66. I used to be a professional bowler… I’ll spare you the details.
67. My coworkers tell me I’m condescending… That means I talk down to people.
68. There’s no training to be a garbage man… You just pick it up as you go along.
69. My annual performance review says I lack “passion & intensity,” guess management hasn’t seen me alone with a big plate of chocolate chip cookies! 
70. Tree trimmers do such a fantastic job… They should take a bough. 
71. I was considering working for Uber… but I don’t have the drive.
72. I tried working in a car muffler factory… but that was exhausting.
73. “It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose your own.” Harry S. Truman
74. I just got fired from the pasta factory… I made a fusili mistakes. 
75. Why is it so difficult to work at an apple pie factory?… Because they have such a high turnover rate! 
76. What job has you asking people to pick their noses?… Plastic surgeon.
77. Labor Day PSA: On one hand fireworks are a lot of fun. On the other hand I only have 2 fingers.
78. Why do the employees get sick on Labor Day Weekend?… Weekend immune system.
79. Why did the bees go on strike?… Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers! 
80. What do nuclear plants serve their workers for the Labor Day cookout?… Fission Chips. 
81. I thought taking a job as a ski instructor would be great… But it really went downhill fast.
82. What do construction workers do at Labor Day parties?… Raise the roof. 
83. Donut Jokes: I tried working in a donut shop… but I soon got tired of the hole business.
84. Psychology Jokes: I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because it was a sew-sew job, de-pleating and de-pressing.
85. What’s the best part about working in Switzerland?… I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
86. What did the custodian say when he jumped out of the closet?… Supplies!
87. What do you call a magician who’s lost his magic?… Ian.
88. I’ve been working 25/7 to come up with a joke about day light savings time. 
89. How does Santa pay the elves?… Jingle bills!
90. What did you do before becoming a dentist?… “I was in the army… I was a drill sergeant.” 
91. My Labor Day is shaping up to be busier than any work day this year.
92. Two workers decided to get married right after Labor Day… The wedding guests said their union was beautiful. 
93. Working at the call center was not for me… I don’t answer to anyone.
94. I have a lactose intolerant friend who sells ice cream for a living. He can’t take it… but he can dish it out. 
95. Why did the disgruntled hot dog vendor quit his job?… He just didn’t relish it. 
96. How did the dental hygienist land a job?… By word of mouth. 
97. I liked my job as a bank teller… until I lost interest.
98. I thought about becoming a witch… so I tried that for a spell.
99. If Wonder Woman and Spiderman went into business together… Would they call it Amazon Web Services?
100. My wife tells me I talk in my sleep all the time, but I’m skeptical. Nobody at work has mentioned it.
101. I got a job at a paperless office. Everything was great until I needed to use the bathroom.