Top 50 Doctor Jokes

by | Nov 10, 2025 | Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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Doctor Jokes:

Google Search “Doctor Jokes”

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best doctor jokes.
  2. Music Jokes: What band is on the top of every cardiologist’s playlist?…Piece of My Heart by Janis Joplin.
  3. Book Jokes: Why did the tutor take his book in the hospital?… Because it had a broken spine.
  4. Why did the Navy optometrist set his clock to military time?… To see 20:20.
  5. American Revolution Jokes: Why did John Adams go to the doctor?… He had a bad case of independence-itis.
  6. Sandwich Jokes: Did you hear about the sandwich who went to the doctor?… He went to the mayo clinic.
  7. Why do the employees get sick on Labor Day Weekend?… Weekend immune system
  8. What job has you asking people to pick their noses?… Plastic surgeon.
  9. What’s the medical diagnosis for owning too many dogs?… A doggy roverdose.
  10. Sturgeon Moon Jokes: Do you think a surgeon likes the Sturgeon Full Moon?
  11. Chocolate Chip Cookie Jokes: I ate too much chocolate chip cookie dough and got sick… It was an overdoughse.
  12. What do a call a dog that sneezes?… A-choo-wawa.
  13. Dogs can’t operate MRI machines… but they’re great at running Lab reports.
  14. Flag Day Jokes: Why did the American flag go to the doctor?… Because it had a few stripes.
  15. Hot Dog Jokes: What do you call a dog with a fever?… A hot dog.
  16. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?… He was feeling crummy. 
  17. What is every cardiologist playlist?… Listen to Your Heart by Roxette.
  18. Did you hear about the man who lost his left arm and leg in a skiing accident?… He ended up being all right.
  19. What Tom Petty song is on Every cardiologist playlist?… Change of Heart
  20. Change of Heart by Tom Petty… The official song of heart transplants.
  21. What is a chiropractor‘s favorite Bruce Springsteen song?… Backstreets.
  22. What band is on the top of every cardiologist’s playlist?… Heart.
  23. What song is on every cardiologist’s playlist?… Straight From The Heart by Bryan Adams.
  24. I went skiing yesterday. It was fun but I broke my arm… I guess skiing has its downsides.
  25. I recently got very addicted to skiing… My doctor told me I’m going down a slippery slope.
  26. I went to see my doctor today about a problem… I keep #reading Lord of the Rings over &over again… She told me not to worry. It’s just force of #hobbit!
  27. What did the #Austrian skier yell when he sprained his ankle?… Alp!
  28. Ski Pun: A novice skier often jumps to contusions.
  29. #BugsBunny walks into a hospital He asks his doctor “What’s up, doc?” The doctor replies “Your blood pressure, Bugs.” “And if I don’t get it sorted out?” The doctor, visually distraught, answers: “That’s all, folks.”
  30. Doctor! At night in my bed I keep saying lines from The Lord of The Rings That’s ok, you’re just Tolkien in your #sleep.
  31. What do you call a Lord of Rings fan with a sprained ankle?… A hobblit.
  32. Music Jokes:
  33. Hey @theCCR! How is a healthy person like the United States?… They both have good #constitutions! https://bit.ly/2qjpBev #health #doctors #Constitution #ConstitutionDay #sschat #ConstitutionDay2022
  34. Kevin threw one watermelon at Andres, what does Andrew have now?… A concussion. https://bit.ly/2qjpBev #health #doctors #watermelons
  35. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”. What’s my father going to do? https://bit.ly/2qjpBev #health #doctors #dads
  36. Hey @AmerMedicalAssn! I studied to become a doctor, but I didn’t have enough patients for the job. https://bit.ly/2qjpBev #LaborDay #LaborDay2022#LaborDayWeekend #careers #careeradvice
  37. Hey @Penguin___Lover @NEAQ! What do you give to a #penguin that’s ill?… Some #medical tweetment. https://bit.ly/2qjpBev #health #doctors #penguins
  38. A guy walks into the doctor’s office. A banana stuck in one of his ears, a carrot in the other ear, and a baby pumpkin stuck in one nostril. The man says, “Doc, this is terrible. What’s wrong with me?” The doctor says, “Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly.”
  39. Hey @OceanSprayInc! The worst thing about #sea #sickness?… It comes in #waves! https://bit.ly/2MoGnmz #oceans #doctors #health #WorldOceansDay
  40. What’s worse than a #giraffe with a sore throat?… A centipede with athlete’s foot. https://bit.ly/2MoGnmz #doctors #health
  41. Did you hear about the snowboarder who broke his elbow?… It was rather humerus. https://bit.ly/2MoGnmz #doctors #health #snowboarding
  42. Why was the clock rushed to the hospital?… He fell back for an hour. https://bit.ly/2MoGnmz #doctors #health
  43. What do you call a #leprechaun with a sore throat?… A streprechaun! https://bit.ly/2qjpBev #health #doctors
  44. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about doctors?
  46. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good doctor knock-knock joke?
  47. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good doctor knock knock jokes? 
  48. #March 6th #NationalOreoCookieDay! Why do @NBA #basketball players love @Oreo cookies?… Because they can dunk them! https://bit.ly/2qjpBev #NBAAllStarWeekend #oreocookieday #NationalOreoDay #NationalOreoCookieDay
  49. Hey @AmerMedicalAssn @MinuteClinic! Did you hear about the #hockey player who became a surgeon?… He specialized in bury-hat-trick #surgery. https://bit.ly/2qjpBev #health
  50. Hey @AmerMedicalAssn @MinuteClinic! Where does the Cat in the Hat go when he’s sick?… To Dr. Seuss https://bit.ly/2qjpBev #cats #DrSeuss #ReadAcrossAmerica
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